Botchamania Reviews ECW — page 6

We’re sold out in Chicago so the crowd should be loud.

We’re in Cleveland, Ohio and the video editors earn their pay by making last week’s Chernobyl look like a mere Three Mile Island. Tonight it’s Punk vs. Chavo Part VI: The Undiscovered Country.

We’re in Tucson, AZ and our main event is CM Punk vs. Elijah Burke vs. Shelton Benjamin and OH SHIT IT’S THIS MATCH, rev up the GIF making machine. But first here’s some dude’s sign.

We’re in San Diego, CA and Ric Flair is here to talk about being inducted into the Hall Of Fame but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to retire (he wasn’t kidding) but Elijah Burke interrupts to say he’s the new Flair. (yeah, David). Shelton Benjamin shows up to remind us all Burke & Benjamin are still a thing and to tell Flair he’s the NEW Gold Standard. It ends with Flair getting attacked until CM Punk makes the save. Basic set-up for tonight’s main event, highlight was some guy excited for Tim.

We’re in Houston, Texas the week after the historic Gulf Of Mexico match. We get clips of Chavo being saved by scuba divers and he complains about how ill he is after falling into the disgusting Gulf. Oh and he was stung by a jellyfish which amuses some NFL-Dad type so much he gives it a standing ovation.

We’re in Corpus Christi, Texas and Kofi Kingston has been added to the intro but I don’t see him lasting long. CM Punk starts the show to a roaring reaction to a SOLD OUT CROWD here to watch Smackdown afterwards. Punk recaps last week’s Mariachi Celebration, insisting that although he’s Straight-Edge he does like a good party and we get Dramatic Replays of El Kabong.

Last week Chavo succeeded in winning the ECW Title from CM Punk in a No DQ match with help from his La Familia Edge. Tonight in Reading Chavo celebrates with a CHAMPIONSHIP FIESTA.

We’re in the University of Virginia with new graphics and set as the HD era has begun and tonight Chavo gets a title shot after losing twice because he has something of an edge.

Nah that’s too subtle. Edge helped him win last week.

We’re in Birmingham, Alabama and World Champion Edge is here with a Very Special Edition of The Cutting Edge, hopefully not involving molestation or The Death of Mr. Hooper.

We’re in Wilkes-Barre, PA with a Dance Off and Chavo’s 2nd Chance against CM Punk (not the same match) after losing last week.

Dramatic recap of MVP beating up Punk so badly that he lost, followed by Chavo beating up Punk. I’m glad they stopped there, any further down the ladder and Kim Chee would have beat up Punk.

ECW On Sci-Fi #81 12/25/2007

This is a retrospective episode with highlights of Lashley’s feud with The McMahons, New Breed vs. Originals and Morrison vs. Punk. It ends with with Tazz kicking Joey Styles into a Christmas Tree so this GIF saved you an hour.

But first, Armageddon 2007!

We’re in Boston, MA home of Sasha Banks, A-Train and that John Cena guy.

CM Punk & Kane vs. Deuce & Domino

We get a recap of Big Daddy V & Mark Henry destroying CM Punk last week and Kane coming to his rescue. This is a warm-up for the just-announced tag match at Armageddon.

Tazz: ”You could never hang with cool guys like Deuce & Domino.”
Joey: ”What if I was their parole officer?”

Show starts with Matt Striker forcing CM Punk to choose between wrestling either Big Daddy V or Mark Henry tonight. ”C’mon Straight Edge, pick your poison!”

Kevin Thorn’s shitty new look has already been added to the intro.

Nice of them to bother but his last televised match is next week.

Let’s start by covering that Survivor Series match that ECW on Sci-Fi spent all of one match hyping.

We’re in Wichita, Kansas. Well ECW on Sci-fi is, I’ll be in sunny Oberhausen watching wXw when this is uploaded, probably nursing a hangover. Oh sorry, hangöver.

I’m nursing what may be the Wrestlemania X7 of hangovers so this recap is unofficially endorsed by Fireball Whiskey, Bonnie Tyler and bad decisions. We’re in Bakersfield, CA, home of Korn, Adema and er Vincent Brothers.

We’re in Long Island New York and we have spooky graphics because IT’S HALLOWEEN MOTHERFUCKERS and we get the long-awaited Monster Mash Battle Royal!