Giant Baba, Rusher Kimura & Masa Fuchi vs. Abdullah the Butcher & Two Kamalas (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I found another fun Giant Baba 6-man tag, as he teams up with Rusher Kimura & Masanobu Fuchi against THE AFRICAN NIGHTMARES- old foe Abdullah the Butcher, teaming up with both Kamala and the FAKE Kamala, a “Giant Kimala II” Baba brought it years earlier! This one is way better than you might expect, with a lot of “they know each other” bits and some shocking agility from Kamala I!

Next up, a very “WCW D-Show” match sees Marty Jannetty face the nWo’s Vincent in a 1998 WCW Worldwide match! Then it’s over to ECW CyberSlam 1999 as Super Crazy gets a filler lucha stuntshow match against El Mosco de la Merced! Then it’s over to OVW for two future WWE guys in a borderline mirror match, as “The Shooter” Brent Albright faces Ken Anderson shortly before he became Mr. Kennedy! And finally, our PWI 500 guy of the week is Josh Abercrombie, who wrestlers the most “MOVEZ-crazy ROH wannabe” style of anyone I’ve seen in a while and typifies all the worst aspects of it- come see him face Chris Sabin in the Ted Petty International in 2005, then see where he ends up, facing Anderson Knight in a tiny gym in front of 20 people!

GIANT BABA, RUSHER KIMURA & MASANOBU FUCHI vs. THE AFRICAN NIGHTMARES (Abdullah the Butcher, Giant Kimala I & Giant Kimala II):
(All Japan, June 9th 1991)
* WOO MORE GERIATRIC DIVISION! Except now it’s got Masa Fuchi, the worst person in the world, and Abdullah is backed by the two Kamalas- the original good one and a shorter, fatter guy who Baba hired to copy the gimmick! The commentator is LOSING HIS SHIT as Baba makes his way down, as apparently he’s back from injury for the first time in months and Budokan Hall gives him a hero’s welcome. So quiet and respectful as they shake the rafters and throw streamers everywhere. Everyone sells the moment as long as possible, both Kimalas slapping their bellies and pointing at Baba’s team, talking shit, while they first tease Fuchi starting the match… until BABA steps back over to a monster pop. It’s gonna be Baba beginning the match!

Baba starts off with Kamala I (the original), who makes goofy faces and runs in place, then does his “touching toes” jump when Baba no-sells his shoulderblock. But Kamala tries again and Baba bops him on the head, sending KI into kicking the air while on his back (man is a PRO), and Baba stands on his stomach and stomps him (I’m pretty sure that’s a spot the heels often use) until Abdullah comes in and knocks him over and holds him so KI can splash him across the legs. But that’s where his injury was! Both Kamalas take turns diving on the knee and KII tries to tear it off and eat it, and when Baba sits up and tries to chop free, he gets bashed down and Abdullah runs in for a slow-jobbing Poison Elbow drop to the knee! Fuchi CHEATS FOR JUSTICE as he stomps away to no effect (he smol), and Baba writhes in agony as the heels keep trading off whenever he fires back and his thigh/knee is just wrecked from all the massages and hugging they’re doing to it. After five minutes of this, Baba finally dodges Kamala II’s running headbutt, and slowwwwly gets up, using the ropes to balance himself as he tags in Rusher for a judo flip and some TITTY SLAPS to KII, but he quickly tags Kamala I, who again runs in place and chops & headbutts Kimura… but he sells it himself, then has to whip Rusher to the corner, but charges in and eats an overhand, flopping down while kicking his legs. haha Kamala is so good.

Abdullah’s tagged in and he worst Rusher’s throat with finger-thrusts, making him squeal out in a high-pitched voice on every shot, then Kamala’s back in with a SAVATE KICK, then has KII hold out his head for a head-bash… and both men sell! Rusher must have a “hard head” gimmick too. He works over Rusher, but FUCHI RUNS WILD as he tags in, back body drops KII (!) and hammers away at the heels on the apron and enzuigiris KII into a “falling tree” bump, but KI tags his falling hand and choke-lifts Fuchi into a fantastically safe bump from the latter (just hits with his foot and rolls to disperse the impact). Kamala leapfrogs Fuchi and savate kicks him, but Abdullah blasts him over with a throat-thrust and DEMANDS BABA. They stare each other down like it’s Hogan/Rock and push away on lockups, and in a great bit, Baba is pushed to the ropes, but intercepts Abdullah’s cheap shot, but Abby intercepts his COUNTER-CHOP and we’re at an impasse. Fantastic. Baba whips him off the ropes for a cross-chop and Abdullah throws up karate hands and Baba DOES THE SAME and neither can get the lead. Poor Rusher comes in and is blasted down, and Kamala I hits a shoulderblock for two, and Kamala II fires off a hooking clothesline into a running legdrop for two- Fuchi saves. KII won’t sell for him, so BABA comes in to break up a pin off a running splash and he understands to sell for the bookerman, haha. But KI comes back in and they sandwhich Baba between them via an avalanche, but switch positions and KII runs right into a boot and is chopped down! Fuchi handles Kamala I and Baba hits his DDT and it’s OVER (13:03), Budokan celebrating their triumphant hero! Fatass Butcher just standing there straddling the middle rope cuz he was too slow on the break, haha. After the match, Kimura gets the mic and calls Baba his “big brother” and says he wants to team up till they die, then dramatically HUGS HIM to a gigantic pop.

Great fun for what it was- a mix of the old guys bashing each other around and Kamala I being the workhorse for the team. He was fantastic here, running in place and doing goofy mannerisms, hitting running spots and being athletic, and selling his ass off. Kamala II is a load and Abdullah only did sparing stuff, so he was a real MVP. Baba had great selling and he’s so insanely beloved that everything he does seems way better than it should be, and naturally they sent the fans home happy with the lowest-end heel eating the pin.

Rating: *** (very fun TV match! Long and well-wrestled for the most part, with some fun spots)

The Attitude Era is going strong and Marty Jannetty is still dressed like this.

MARTY JANNETTY vs. VINCENT:
(WCW Worldwide, 07/06/1998)
* Amazing, haha. Marty Jannetty vs. Virgil in mid-1998. Vincent only ever seemed to wrestle on the D-shows, and here he is coming out with no backup. Marty was in WCW for about two years, mostly as one of their cavernous undercard. He’s wearing a black singlet with lots of bright designs on it, looking like it’s 1991 and not 1998.

Vincent grabs a headlock to start, but Marty soon gets behind him with a hammerlock, then counters a hiptoss and puts him over the top rope. A baseball slide knocks Vincent over, but he spends time jawing to the camera, then catches Marty with a stunner over the ropes. He adds a punch to the throat, an elbowdrop to the sternum and even a fistdrop off the 2nd rope (why is Vincent doing flying fistdrops to MARTY?), then two neckbreakers and just leans over Marty for two. Vincent keeps up the beating but falls on his ass charging into the corner and and inverted atomic drop/clothesline gets two. Now MARTY tries his fistdrop off the 2nd rope but lands on Vincent’s boot. Vincent tries his Million Dollar Dream, breaking out the old-school offense, but Marty backs him into the corner- Vincent keeps on the attack but Marty catches him with his head down and spins the arm over and hits the Rocker Dropper for the pin at (3:42).

Actually not bad considering it’s Vincent in 1998- he dominated the match but shockingly kept up very varied offense, always doing something different (boot-chokes here, a strangle in the ropes there, neckbreakers, fistdrops, etc.), even pulling out an ancient finisher (by this point he was doing a Fujiwara Armbar I think) until Marty scores a quick comeback win. A very “you’re winning, so I get to hit most of my shit” kind of booked match.

Rating: *3/4 (sorta miraculous for how decent it actually was given the time and Vincent-ness of it)

Luchadores wear cool-ass masks as a general rule in part cuz they can make money selling replicas to fans, and this dude’s out there as a mosquito with a giant nose.

SUPER CRAZY vs. EL MOSCO:
(ECW CyberSlam 1999, 04/03/1999)
* It’s El Mosco de la Merced in ECW! Here to job to Super Crazy, who actually works there and is getting pushed in the midcard. Mosco (“Mosquito”), who had wrestled on a couple WWF cards in 1997, is indeed wearing a bright yellow mosquito mask, which looks goofy as hell. Crazy’s in red with blue. Back in the mid-90s, ECW brought in a bunch of lucha guys who fed WCW’s midcard months later, but those days are long gone.

Some simple go-behinds lead to Crazy hitting a big armdrag, Mosco recovering with a vertical snapmare into a dive tease, backflipping off the ropes and taunting. A big elaborate bit sees a lot of counters, leapfrogs and forward rolls, impressive enough that the double-flip to “Pause for Applause” draws an ovation from the crowd, some of whom are standing. Mosco flips upside-down missing a dropkick in the corner, but Crazy himself tumbles over the top on a miss and Mosco hits a slingshot cannonball to the floor, barely grazing him and landing in a kneeling position, impressing the fans again. Crazy just kinda kneeled down to sell it and looked grumpy. Mosco gets backdropped, bouncing off the ropes and ending up wheelbarrow dropped across the guardrail by Crazy, who dumps him over the railing and hits a big Crazy Special (springboard moonsault suicida) over it and nails him. He rolls Mosco back into the ring and leaps over the top for a slingshot moonsault as the fans are constantly loud but the whole crowd by the moonsault spot are staring at that point in the floor for some reason.

Crazy hits a wacky springboard moonsault while Mosco is rolling over to his side for two (Crazy was gonna fall short so Mosco leaned into it), then the ten punches in the corner (the crowd counting in Spanish, as is tradition), looking blown up as he whips Mosco to the ropes but charges into his boots. Mosco hits a flying headscissors off the top into a slingshot somersault plancha, getting two, then putting Crazy up top to spring up for a hurricanrana for two- Crazy bails to the floor to recover, where Mosco charges at him and gets leapfrogged into the fans, and Crazy MOONSAULTS him there off the guardrail in a great moment that has the fans losing it! We’re clipped (WUT- this is WWE’s channel!) to a Mosco Corkscrew Moonsault getting two in the ring, then pulls off CIMA’s Iconoclams and swat-kicks Crazy in the back, but goes up one too many times and a Moonsault eats feet and Crazy hits a BIG folding powerbomb for two, then climbing, where Mosco catches him with a running slingshot sunset bomb for two. But Crazy immediately recovers, counters a whip to the tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, then goes up for a weird, shitty Frog Splash for three (8:17), pulling out a last-second win.

A very solid spotfest match, just “I’ll hit all my cool shit, then you hit all your cool shit, then I counter and win” to fill PPV time and help Crazy with his “every match is a fun spectacle” push that typified his ECW run. It was FUN, though- largely just a series of moves, I loved a tired Crazy hitting the floor, but launching Mosco into the stands and then moonsaulting him like his name speaks reality. Crazy came off kinda grumpy and heelish here, almost annoyed at the world as he had to take on Mosco, who was more agile (Crazy is a bit thicc for a luchadore; Mosco is not) and flashier. But Crazy ended up getting the majority of “big offense” after a point. They did keep you guessing, though, largely because the last two minutes was both guys no-selling and hitting insta-comebacks until one failed! No American push was there for Mosco, who ended up back in Mexico and never got to join the Big Two. Not sure if he ever wanted to but he remains pretty obscure.

Rating: **3/4 (fairly brainless with bad selling but good fun and the fans loved it)

WINNER GETS A THOUSAND DOLLARS:
“THE SHOOTER” BRENT ALBRIGHT vs. KEN ANDERSON:
(Ohio Valley Wrestling, April 16th 2005)
* I was looking for something else but came across this one and was intrigued- both guys were apparently assumed to have good prospects in 2005 but both flamed out for a variety of reasons, meaning their careers starting in the same place is rather fitting. Both are heavily-juicing Generic McWrestler-looking guys- in OVW it looks particularly clear like they both have the same trainer, same tailor and even the same PHARMACIST as they have almost identical features except for their faces and ink. Albright’s in blue trunks and Anderson is in red. Albright was told to mimic Chris Benoit by Paul Heyman (then in charge of OVW), but WWE didn’t like it once he got there and as “Gunner Scott” only made TV for a month or so before being cut. Anderson (now making his OVW TV debut, with “KK” on his ass) came in as “Ken Kennedy” and got surprisingly over just shouting his name in a loud, booming voice, and the fans online even got behind him largely because he was something new in a very dreary time for wrestling… but then realized he wasn’t very good and almost appeared pissed off they were “hoodwinked” by him and suddenly he was shat on everywhere in online spaces. And at the same time he had pissed off the wrong people in WWE- Stevie Richards & others have posited that Orton & Cena worked together to get him hated and fired by setting him up in matches to “botch” things and “hurt” them. In any case he also publicly boasted about being clean and IMMEDIATELY tested positive for steroids and that didn’t help. He got a huge push immediately but also fizzled out and was gone in a short time and ended up floundering as a midcarder in TNA for the rest of his career.

They start with the old “shooter outwrestles the heel” bit, which is always funny because if you look it’s just the heel flailing his arms around and mostly staying in place so the other can show “mat wrestling” skills by scooting around them. Anderson gets taken down with a rear waistlock and then an overhead Head & Arm Suplex, and flees from an anklelock, nearly escaping before “The Shooter” (every OVW thing I’ve seen they have been VERY insistent about nicknames), who has to give chase and haul him back into the ring for a beating. Lots of Irish whips and forearms to the back commence, Albright hitting an overhead belly-to-belly but charging into the corner. You can see how both are unseasoned by how they sometimes hesitate in the middle of offense because someone’s out of position, like they were trained that everything had to be JUST so (a very “homogenized WWE” thing that made their style very boring around this time). Anderson hits a backdrop suplex & the WWE Walk & Stomp, but Albright gets a forearm series as Anderson “bump & feeds” repeatedly, and Anderson is fought into a Release German for two. Anderson does the MK “FINISH HIM!” sell so the “Shooter” steadies himself for an armbuster (like a Stunner on the arm), setting up the Crowbar, his Fujiwara armbar, for the easy win at (6:45).

A quick & easy cookie-cutter, very carefully choreographed WWE style match, impressive in its blandness. Neither bothered to play much of a character, taunt, or even look at the fans- they were just two heavily-roided guys following their pre-planned match in the exact pre-planned way it was supposed to go, right down to “everything has to be perfect” positioning, so we got lots of stomping until someone got into readiness for it. This is the kind of match where it’s not like mechanically BAD, just so utterly banal- it’s the thing that sorta drove me out of the wrestling fandom in this era- everything sort of had this corporate-mandated, uninteresting glossy SHEEN to it, and it felt inescapable with the entire undercard (who had shifted from “territory guys who learned their trades” to “guys WWE built from into performers from their late teens”).

Rating: *3/4 (just some boring TV match- fine enough moves but everything felt so safe and soft and free of character)

oh man, remember the days of “Top XX moves of ____?” being all over YouTube?

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: JOSH ABERCROMBIE (aka Josh Raymond):
Appearances: #499 in 2019

-ohmygodohmygodohmygod- THIS IS THE GOOD SHIT! When I YouTube search a wrestler and the first hit is like “Top 45 Moves of Josh Abercrombie”, I KNOW I’m getting a perfect example of Indie Dweeb! The kind of dude who spends more time learning ALL THE MOVEZ than actually getting over or creating a character. Learn to chain wrestle? Nah- I’m gonna add ALL THE SUPLEXES, then ALL THE FLIPS, then also have a submission finish! This is amazing stuff- multiple variations of the Arabian Press/Lionsault, multiple back suplexes, a goofy name for a backdrop suplex (Tom Selleck Driver- a snap leg-clutch backdrop suplex), and 4-5 variations of the lungblower (that thing where you press your knees into the guy’s back then fall into a back bump, which blasts air out their lungs because of science).

Checking Cagematch, he debuted in 2003 and has been wrestling ever since, starting out in IWA Mid-South (one of many podunk ECW copycats, founded by Ian Rotten). Also the Extreme Wrestling Federation. And “AAW”. Mostly he’s around Michigan & Illinois- like a lot of dudes, I don’t think he made enough money to move around or quit a day job. He eventually drops Abercrombie and goes by Josh Raymond in places. He only spends a couple of years in Ring of Honor (then the top indie, more or less)- 2008-09 as part of the House of Truth with Christin Able. He’s been in Independence Pro Wrestling in his usual haunt for the past 6+ years and looks to have given up ever being a big star. Billed at 5’9″ (so probably 5’5″) with a nothing body and a doughy face with an unimpressive beard, he has an unmarketable jobber look. He peaked so early in the 2000s that 90% of his YouTube videos are either lists of moves or a short clip of a single move- very few full matches. Nowadays he’s a bald guy with a mustache, the ECW T-Shirt of Shame and sleeve tattoos.

Honestly, I wonder how many Josh Abercrombies there are- guys that do “All The Moves” and try the ALL MOVEZ indie style but just flounder in one part of the U.S. and never become a bigger name. Like, do they just not know the right people? Did they wrestle Chris Sabin and he went back to TNA like “omg this guy fucking sucks- he just wants to get all his shit in or look strong. Don’t hire him”? Did they just not wanna move or drive around to different companies, and just do the easy thing and work their home state? I mean they’re all indie guys and it doesn’t matter but these questions interest me.

IWA MID-SOUTH TED PETTY INVITATIONAL 2005:
ROUND 2:
JOSH ABERCROMBIE vs. CHRIS SABIN:
* Okay! I found a match against Sabin! That’s sure to be a fast-paced one! Apparently Ambercrombie defeated James Gibson (Jamie Noble, as commentary flat-out says) in the first round. Josh is current IWA Light Heavyweight Champion, and is dwarfed by the ENTIRE front row. Chris Sabin, held back most of his career in part by a weak look, looks 100 times more marketable and in shape than his doughy opponent.

They trade wristlocks and Pause For Applause in a bit that’s all Sabin flipping around him, then Sabin hits a seated dropkick, then shitcans Josh into a dive-tease flip, then a tope suicida. But Josh recovers on the apron and hits an Asai Corkscrew Kick, helicoptering onto his own head in the process- hey! That was on his Top 45 Moves! Naturally his next move is also a flip, as he does a hideous turning crossbody that Sabin “rolls through” and they awkwardly hug until Sabin powers him up off the mat (CHRIS SABIN is the elite powerhouse able to manhandle his opponent in this match), but Abercrombie escapes the Cradle Shock (spinning fireman’s leg-trap michinoku driver) and scores running thigh-slap moves and a chinlock for purposes of a comeback. Abercrombie adds more weak strikes then a Lionsault for two, then a Russian legsweep into an Anaconda vice-type of thing. Sabin writhes but makes the ropes quickly enough, then actually trips Josh on a drop-down and flying stomps his back, does a tree of woe dropkick, and when Josh pulls his head up on the next one, Sabin neckbreakers him for two. A regular neckbreaker sets up the Attitude Era Walk & Stomp as commentary points out you gotta win 3 matches tonight (translation: the wrestler who wins is pacing himself for later), then works the neck with legdrops and a crank. And lots and lots of restholds. Finally, an ugly spot in the corner sees Sabin roll away but walk into a 2nd-rope spinkick for a double-down. They slug it out, Abercrombie going up into a Cradle Shock but sitting on his shoulders until he’s balanced & ready to do the Taliban Backback (lungblower) for two. Sabin comes back with neck-strikes into a brainbuster, but Ambercrombie slips out of a Running Ligerbomb, dropkicks him, then does the Tom Selleck Driver (leg-trap snap backdrop) for two. Sabin wins another slugfest and a snap-backdrop into arm-trap piledriver gets two, and the Cradle Shock finishes at (12:30).

Ugly, ugly match, with Abercrombie being loose and sloppy the entire time, and Sabin very clearly wrestling himself at points. Even killing time and doing restholds to set up an eventual comeback where he takes a bit of Josh offense. Which ALL looked bad- limp, loose, and mis-aimed. Sabin looked like a real pro having to deal with this and pretend like it was potentially dangerous, but never really looked in trouble- he just took some of the kid’s stuff, then won with a bunch of his own, letting him have one big kickout. TBF he’s gotta wrestle later (jobbing to Matt Sydal in 13 minutes). I hope Josh wasn’t expecting Sabin to talk him up to TNA & ROH later.

Rating: * (kept up with neck-based psychology, but Abercrombie was a sloppy mess the whole time and Sabin was just wrestling him like a generic warm body)

INTERIM IPW MICHIANA TITLE:
JOSH RAYMOND vs. ANDERSON KNIGHT:
(Independence Pro Wrestling, Oct. 19th 2024)

I couldn’t find much on him as Josh Raymond but oh man, there’s this long bout against Anderson Knight, a portly, hairy guy in modern IPW, with about 20 people watching them wrestle in some gym. Raymond is aged and largely doing Heel Schtick for 15 minutes instead of any of his “gotta get into ROH with my COOL MOVEZ!” stuff. The highlight is the cameraman dressed like Powerline from the all-time classic A Goofy Movie (the “Misawa vs. Kawada” of films). Raymond plays heel stuff like choking, using a rope, bailing, jawing with the fans for like eight minutes, but Knight escapes a chickenwing/facelock-ish thing and does a comeback. Raymond gets out of a half-nelson slam but Knight gets a spinebuster for two. But he runs into an elbow and Raymond hits another shitty Taliban Backpack (apparently never able to make his finisher look good)- again commentary having to go “he didn’t quite get all of it”. Back to the facelock- then Knight escapes but goes into the corner. Raymond brings out a chain, and when the ref takes it away, kicks Knight in the nuts for two. Raymond dumps the ref for stopping him from using a second chain, but then a babyface in ref gear comes out to yell at him, causing Knight ot hit a Full Nelson for the submission at (10:47).

Basically the most Generic McIndie Match ever- the slow-paced, “all schtick” kind of one that’s light on bumping and extends the thing to 11 minutes with very little effort, cuz why kill yourself for 20 people? It’s as inoffensive as it is lazy, but hard to rate.

Rating: 1/2* (I mean it’s barely worth rating yet kinda fine for the audience?)