Scott Norton vs. Ernest “The Cat” Miller (and Other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I have a total smorgasbord of weird squashes! First off is the “shoot interview backtalk” drama of Ernest “The Cat” Miller vs. Scott Norton! In which Norton barely sells a thing for a six-minute squash against a somewhat naive Miller and leads to internet drama years later. Next up is a LONG match between the Nasty Boys and Jim Powers/Jim Bruznell in 1992 WWF! This is one of those “hypercompetitive Prime Time matches” where jobbers got theme music and entrances! Then wonder aloud whether the Big Two would EVER actually give a jobber a “W” as Sean Waltman heads to the WWF the next year wearing his “Lightning Kid” gear but going under a series of different names in one-sided matches against Doink the Clown, Mr. Hughes and Razor Ramon on WWF RAW!

The Aussie jobber Ozzie Rulz last week made me want to check out his WCW stuff, and so his team with Kory Williams faces first the new duo of Tank Abott & Rick Steiner in a squash, then takes on Allan Funk & “Above Average” Mike Sanders on WCW Worldwide shows! And finally, our PWI 500 guy of the week is THE CODFATHER- Canadian wrestler Billy Flynn doing a “Newfoundland fisherman” gimmick
SCOTT NORTON vs. ERNEST “THE CAT” MILLER (w/ Sonny Onoo):
(WCW Monday Nitro, Jan. 2nd 1999)
* A somewhat infamous one thanks to some online shoots about it. Miller declares it a “rib”- unbeknownst to him, Norton being given instructions on not to sell for him at all. Granted, he’s a comedy jobber while Norton was expected to be kept credible in perpetuity because New Japan used him as a top foreigner, so that’s obvious. Miller was also an obnoxious prick character (something he was good enough at that it got him into WWE despite no wrestling ability at all!) and Norton was a tough guy so this being one-sided is really how it should go anyways. The angle here is that Miller is being a twerp and calling out the locker room demanding a match like he can “whup anybody”, and the nWo watches in the back and lies to Scott Norton in the john or whatever that “Hey! NORTON! NORTON! The Cat just called you out!” to amuse themselves, drawing grumpy, roided-up Norton to snarl as he heads out to beat some ass while the nWo do their classic “frat boy belly laugh” like children. Miller, to be fair, says he can beat ANYBODY and while first seemingly blowing off Norton, admits he’s tough but he’s gonna get a whuppin’, too. Norton, in blue jeans and an nWo wifebeater shirt, is doing the “squint with one eye while hanging his mouth open” thing, which is a classic biker “I’m craaaaaazzzzy tough!” intimidation tactic.

Bikers LOVE doing this shit- the “squinting one eye” look to sell “confusion” at “Really? Are you messing with ME? You’re messing with ME?” A bar bouncer like Norton no doubt picked it up somewhere along those lines.

Norton stares Miller down and demands a shot be thrown, so Miller does a front kick to the chest that Norton completely ignores and clotheslines him. Miller bounces around from a headbutt, overhand chop and avalanche. A chop sends Cat off his feet, but he recovers from a short-arm clothesline (that’s obviously not stiff) and scores a dropkick to the knee- and Norton sells! I was told this would have no selling! Norton is like “aww!” as Miller lays into the knee with overhand clubs and more kicks (probably figuring this is the only stuff he’ll sell) and a superkick has him selling, too! Norton’s downed and Miller follows with a thigh-kick, but does too elaborate a run and gets caught mid-air and slammed down, and that’s all we’re gonna get of Mr. Norton acting like things hurt, I suspect. More slow clubbing puts Miller down but Norton demands offense and shrugs off an eyepoke like it’s nothing, but he DOES, in fact, sell another thing- a Flair Uppercut! Somehow the ref wasn’t paying attention to that AT ALL, but Norton… recovers in only two seconds and Miller gets chopped down again. Miller fires out a huge high kick to the chin, bur Norton fires back and shrugs it off. The broken blood-vessels on Miller’s chest are noticeable and he looks like he’s dying and being a good heel except… also brave and persistent because instead of begging off he’s just letting Norton have it.

Miller gets a surprise jaw-jacker and persistently throws overhands to the back and foot-choking in the corner as if to DEMAND to be given some offense. Norton just gets another clothesline and keeps mauling him, his bad cardio saving Miller more pain as much as anything. Also it’s letting Ernest get in way more offense. Norton is staggered a bit and Miller SHOOTS THE HALF, even tripping the weight-bearing leg to work into a shoot-pin, but they’re in the ropes and just scrambling around now, Norton pinning him down and throwing punches. Some more methodical punches keep him down, but Miller throws Sonny Onoo into his path and uses the stalling to hit another superkick. Norton’s onto one knee, so the Cat hits a frong spinkick to the chest… and Norton doesn’t react. Another- no dice. A third has Norton doing the “GROWWWWWLLL!!! ARRRRGGGGHHHH!” no-sell and even takes the full Feliner (double-spin spinning kick to the jaw) and uses the momentum to hit a running clothesline into the Powerbomb to finish him at (6:11). Norton wins a decidedly one-sided beatdown.

What a slaughter. Norton was in full “shitpiece no-seller” mode, just ignoring offense whenever it suited him, but amusingly there was also way more selling than I anticipated given this match’s reputation. Granted, most of it was Norton reacting to a move, selling pain, then bending over for 2 seconds and then firing back with his own thing. This is actually a REALLY bad way to no-sell, though- selling is ironically one of the greatest skills any true Monster Heel can have. You can’t just no-sell EVERY MOVE because you make your opponent look like shit and thus don’t look great for beating a complete loser. It also makes the match look boring and pointless, especially as they go long. The trick is to “sell the THIRD clothesline”- shrug off 1-2 moves to establish the parameters (“I am too tough to hurt/this is a one-sided match-up”), the first being easily no-sold, and the second being given more effort to suggest that no, this heel is REALLY tough… but then this allows the guy to fight from underneath, power-up, and hit a THIRD big move that actually manages to rock the monster. With the preceding two moves being done in anticipation of this one, you’ve created this big anticipatory moment, blown off a mid-match angle, given the fans something to cheer for and created a big moment. This makes the babyface look AWESOME and gives the match its most compelling aspect, as it makes victory constantly seem possible, but hard to achieve.

lol and I type all that shit out and THEN check Miller’s shoot interview on the series and he mentions effectively that exact thing.

What Norton is doing with all this “shrugging it off” is awful as he’s basically doing an “oh, that hurt him I… oh wait, nope.” and it means ALL the offense is thus completely pointless, thus is the match. Ironically he’s doing what later skinny wrestlers the Young Bucks and others do, but in their case it’s to add more MOVEZ and motion to the match and not look tough.

Rating: ** (actually not as bad as you might think- Norton’s selling was bad, but Miller’s persistence in coming at him come off as arguably braver than they might have expected and he was showing off tactical skill and attempts to pick up any advantage)

Notably, none of this ever led to anything- Norton remains “just a guy” until leaving WCW in late 1999. He gets no big push out of this (meaning it existed only to hurt other wrestlers), and he does just a handful of jobs- he loses repeatedly to Rick Steiner that year. There’s a random Saturday Night match where the Cat actually beats Norton somehow (in 1:23, which suggests shenanigans), then does it again weeks later on Nitro. A Horace/Norton team job to THE PUBLIC ENEMY of all people and Booker T beats Norton & Norton teams to end the guy’s WCW run. The man’s TV wins this year are over El Dandy & Silver King-tier guys- like if you’re gonna give a guy a monster push, why not build to a PPV job to Goldberg or SOMETHING?

Of course, as Mark Twain has said, there are three kinds of lies: Lies, Damned Lies, and Shoot Interviews. Miller claims that Norton was disrespectful and so for the rematch he demanded, he wanted Norton to take three kicks- shrug off one, be taken a bit aback by the second, and dropped by the third. Then he’d still get to win (he won in 1:32- I can’t find the match online). Miller says during the match Norton shrugged off the first, but ALSO the second, interrupting it! And so “I threw the straightest, cleanest kick ever” and knocked Norton’s teeth out, flat-backing him with a huge shoot kick. And then Norton got up and pinned him with a move. Then all the boys came up to him and compliment how good he made Scott look taking a flat-back bump and such (like a reddit story where “and then everyone clapped”). Norton naturally completely disputes this, says they ran the angle all the time (near as I can tell their four matches are mostly months apart), says that Miller was much-disliked and a braggart and that he showed him ZERO respect in their conversations. Norton has the “oh get OVER it…” tired mentality while Miller has hurt fee-fees about a TV squash 25 years later, so I dunno. After seeing Norton no-sell midcard matches all the time it’s amusing to think of Miller TKOing him but I somehow doubt that teeth were really sent flying.

THE NASTY BOYS (Brian Knobs & Jerry Sags, w/ Jimmy Hart) vs. JIM POWERS & JUMPIN’ JIM BRUNZELL:
(WWF Prime Time Wrestling, July 27th 1992)
* Why a random Nasty Boys squash? I’ve been wanting to find a match for ages that fascinated me as a kid- I was SURE it had Powers in it, but it’s been so long… I recall a LONG TV squash in which the Nasties gave up a TON of offense to the jobbers, to the point of teasing a bunch of nearfalls, and convincing Young Jab that MAYBE… JUST MAYBE… we’d get a legendary “Jobber defeats a Named Guy” match. The kind of thing that was NEVER seen but constantly had to be in your mind if you had to watch shows full of interminable squashes on the weekly WWF shows. In my head this was a really long bout buy who knows how long it ACTUALLY was? With the Jims here, we have the likliest candidates: two formerly “name” guys, one of which “was really put together” (Powers) but never quite got over that hump. The babyface team actually gets THEME music, coming out second tearing out of the dressing room- Brunzell in his little jungle undies and Powers in red with his nifty jacket. Monsoon declares he likes the chances of “these youngsters” (Brunzell is 43 years old).

A softer, doughier Powers is wallopped by Sags to start, but dodges a double-team and knocks their noggins together! You can tell he’s pumped because he does his double-fist pump “Yeah!” pose! He dodges a Sags punch and armbars him, bringing in Brunzell. Sags just pokes his eyes and leaves, but Knobs flops in like a boob and gets drop-toeholded into an armbar and they trade off on him repeatedly (Knobs always looks so surprised to be taking offense- like he’s perpetually confused by what’s going on). Knobs finally hits a knee, but Brunzell leapfrogs him and dropkicks him over Powers but their schoolboy pin is in the ropes and Knobs escapes. Sags eats a back elbow from Brunzell, who stops Knobs’ cheating and beats his ass, but ends up kneed in the ass by Sags and he hits the floor. Sags works a big side suplex & bearhug, but puts his head down and gets axehandled, allowing dual tags- Powers comes in all fired up on Knobs and hits the dreaded GUT-PUNCH INTO A KNEELIFT combo. Great bump by Knobs, but then the camera zooms in right up close for Powers to hit “punches” to Sags in the the corner (basically lightly bopping him with the heel of his palm) and when Knobs comes in from behind, Powers not only crossbodies him, but dodges Jerry’s elbow so KNOBS takes it! The jobbers are KICKING ASS here and it’s hilarious. The crowd finally seems to be reacting, too! They’re not noisy but I see tons of clapping movement on the hard cam. Powers knocks noggins and dropkicks Knobs for two- Sags pulls him off, so Brunzell comes in for stereo facecrushers, but he bails and Powers is distracted by Jimmy Hart, getting double-teamed and hit with a Double DDT for the finish (5:52), the Nasty Boys barely stealing one after getting their asses kicked all match long.

A LONG, competitive TV match, with the emphasis seeming to be on “talk about some angles of the day” (though only Bret/Bulldog is given much focus), and oddly the entire thing was dominated by the Jobbing Jims, who kept countering all the Nasty offense, dodging attempts at cheating, and more. The fans were totally dead at first (probably a long TV taping, plus it’s POWERS/BRUNZELL) but actually cheered a bit at the end, which is impressive for a 6-minute Nasty Boys match against job guys. I do wonder if this was the match I was thinking of- I remember lots of nearfalls like this and tons of chances before they pulled the rug out. Canada didn’t get Prime Time, but this coulda been on the syndicated shows, too. The match wasn’t bad- Powers & Brunzell were always very bland characters and it didn’t help the match, but the endless countering of cheating was fun and the Nasties are good when bumping & selling. Tragically, WWF was never really the place for “jobbers finally get a surprise win”.

Rating: **1/4 (half-decent slightly above average TV match! Maybe a top-tier Powers one, haha)

Total heartbreaker of a match, though- the “hey wait, JUST MAYBE–” aspect of jobbers getting offense on heel stars is an underrated aspect of the game, especially since jobber usually just got eaten alive on television and barely ever got to look good. Sadly, WWF especially was just not the company to pull off that kind of thing, as their jobbers typically got even LESS offense. It was always a hopeless dream.

Fantastic mix of “jobber geek” and “actual named talent” here, with Waltman repeatedly trying out new names to see if THAT’s what he’s missing, having the wrong name on his ass, etc.

DOINK THE CLOWN vs. THE KAMIKAZE KID:
(WWF Raw, May 3rd 1993)
* ANYWAYS, here’s some random squash from a RAW the next year! “The Kamikaze Kid” was Sean Waltman, indie darling “The Lightning Kid” who’d been impressing people doing spotfest matches for a couple years, and he showed up on WWF TV. He looks like a scrawny, helpless geek here- fantastic jobber look with no chin, a stringy mullet and a super-detailed Indie Tights look but with “L. KID” written on his ass, not even matching his current name. He just looks every part like some dweeb who rushed over to do a job.

Doink immediately charges the jobber and mauls him alive, hitting a great belly-to-belly suplex and a vicious STF that has the Kid wailing in agony as he’s ground down. Doink slams his face into the mat, and the Kid can only fire back some weak elbows from his knees before Doink gouges his eyes, snarls, and hooks him with the Stump Puller for a screaming submission at (2:07). Some good Doink offense and NOTHING for this kid. Doink just looks like the most vicious guy in there, sometimes.

Rating: 1/2* (good for what it was; the Kid bumped VERY well and probably impressed. 3/5 on the Squash Scale)

MR. HUGHES (w/ Harvey Wippleman) vs. THE CANNONBALL KID:
(WWF Raw, May 17th 1993)
* Hughes debuts his manager here, and now the Kid has a NEW name, and is snarked on by Savage & Heenan over it. Still with “L. KID” on his ass.

Hughes easily slugs the Kid right out of a charge and toys with him, hitting a powerslam for two and then picking him up by the ears before slamming him down like a piece of shit. Hughes boots him in the head, ignores some limp offense, whips him HARD into the corner. A big boot and the Boss Man Slam finishes at (2:19). Absolute demolition here- the Kid got NOTHING and looked like a weak, helpless child against the monstrous 300+ lb. guy.

Rating: 1/2* (good for what it was; the Kid bumped VERY well and probably impressed. 3/5 on the Squash Scale)

RAZOR RAMON vs. THE KID:
(WWF Raw, May 17th 1993)
* So it’s established- this hard-luck kid never gets any offense and gets completely mauled when he’s up against heels. Good bumper and has zero chance. And now he’s up against a MUCH bigger star than Doink or Hughes in Razor Ramon- a top-tier upper-midcard heel. Now he’s just “The Kid”, having given up on his changing names. What a hopeless loser!

Razor laughs off the Kid, flicking a toothpick in his face (“He’s doin’ better than he ever has”- Savage), then effortlessly tosses him back off a lockup. Some high-powered chops raise the volume and Razor takes it easy with his abdominal stretch, treating the whole thing like a joke. And the Kid gets a brief flash by ducking under a clothesline for a crossbody but nope- standard Razor spot- the “sack of shit” slam. Razor toys with him some more and whips him into the corner, but charges in and *pop* hits the post (slaps it with the top of his hand to emphasize the noise) and stands there dazed so Kid can position himself quickly- Moonsault Press! For THREE at (2:11) as the entire crowd bursts up like “WHAT THE FUCK!?” having completely been hoodwinked by the entire angle and the previous squashes establishing that his dweeb had no chance in the world, much less against a top heel. Razor immediately recovers and is completely aghast and humiliated, screaming in defiance and stomping around the ring while the Kid has a very “real” reaction for a young upstart, completely shocked and freaking out as he runs all over ringside high-fiving people and being like “YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! I WON!” and running to the back before Finkel can even announce him as the winner.

Rating: * (not as much to it but a classic case of “Any Given Sunday” that wrestling very rarely EVERY gives us)

This was HUGE and one of the all-time shocking moments- a JOBBER pinning a big star on TV. It was perfectly handled, too- establish this indie guy as a total loser by having Doink squash and submit him one week, then change his name for the next show where a Monster Heel can beat him up next time. Neither guy sells a single move and the Kid looks helpless and kinda immature and weak- the name-changing suggesting he’s kind of floundering and doesn’t really know what to do or have any confidence. Then Razor- a far bigger star than either Doink or Hughes and an established name- comes in and does his very standard “Razor squash” so things like “Razor slaps him around and takes him lightly” and “Razor does things just to troll him” don’t come off as weird because that’s what he ALWAYS does. He even gives him a little counter with the crossbody but effortlessly turns it into more Razor stuff. And then he just makes that one big mistake- popping himself into the post to stun him just long enough for a crazy move (a moonsault was not regular WWF offense) and the Kid gets a miracle win! They spent months building up the Kid after this- establishing that while small, he’s got martial arts training (to justify getting more offense), and showing his insane high-flying skills as a counter to the size of everyone else. He was given squashes over Reno Riggins (a good jobber) and a long bout winning over Blake Beverly (a large JTTS), feuded with Razor for weeks, establishing in some good character bits that he refused a rematch because he was well aware that Razor was going to be out to hurt him, but that he accepted the $10,000 rematch “because my family could really use the money”… then just grabbing the money and running out on the match, haha. Stuff a top babyface couldn’t get away with, but a 20-year old rookie who got lucky? It’s perfect. Most impressive was how they turned it a month later into Razor turning babyface, now admiring the snotty kid and laughing as he does the distraction finish on Ted DiBiase.

The next two are here cuz I saw that Ozzie Rulz guy and saw he was active in late-stage WCW and early TNA, so wanted to see what he was up to. Turns out, just jobbin’!

TANK ABBOTT & RICK STEINER vs. KORY WILLIAMS & ASHLEY HUDSON:
(WCW Worldwide, 05/20/2000)
* Bizarrely, WCW’s final days were still doing weird stuff like “these two feud opponents are now randomly a tag team”. Williams & Hudson were late hires who did some jobs and eventually disappeared from the business despite a TNA run as well. Hudson shows his Aussie heritage with a small boomerang, while Williams has the worst gear- an all-blue singlet with a US flag design in the shape of speedos on it.

Hudson starts with Abbott, who effortlessly scoops him up with a double-leg and slams him down, throwing some overhands. He adds body-shots, a clothesline and a slam as he tries to integrate some actual wrestling in, then it’s over to Rick & Kory- Rick just easily double-legs Williams and hits a Steinerline. A big belly-to-belly has Williams doing some good theatrical jobber selling, then Rick dumps him for a CHAIRSHOT, then holds him for Tank’s! hahaha I love it when big monsters who are winning easily just decide to cheat. Kory’s thrown back in the ring and abused some more (having to censor “ahhhh SHIT!” when he hits the corner upside-down), then Rick does the world’s laziest submission by kinda leaning on Kory and holds his arm up, getting the win at (3:10). Still wanting more violence, Rick calls in Tank for the Knockout Punch, then hauls in Hudson and Tank flattens him with one, too.

Rating: * (just a basic squash- ZERO offense for the dweebs, which was fine and it’s not like either of these two were gonna sell any of them)

ANGRY ALLAN FUNK & “ABOVE AVERAGE” MIKE SANDERS vs. NEW SOUTH (Kory Williams & Ashley Hudson):
(WCW Worldwide, June 17th 2000)
* So the Williams/Hudson duo has a “team name” now and are set against a pair of rand-os in their own squad. Funk is the future Kwee-Wee, looking ridiculous as he’s SHORT but super-roided but not quite “comedy wrestler” yet (the goofy hair would be a good addition for him) while Sanders just looks like a Generic McWrestler. However, they get on the mic and ANGRY Allan Funk declares that he & Sanders are “the New Double A Team”- “The Re-Enforcers”. Weirdly, Sanders keeps mouthing the words the entire time as if he memorized the entire script or is leading Funk along. New South get theme music and new gear- “Cory” Williams is in a yellow & blue singlet and Hudson’s is green. Funk has a pink sarong and BADLY thinning hair, and Sanders has white shorts.

The heels pounce immediately, but New South duck them and hit clotheslines, then double-hiptoss Sanders into a double-elbow. But Hudson runs into a Sanders boot in the corner and takes some Funk offense as Funk is all “Craaaaaaaaaazy!” and throwing tons of roid-rage shots and coming off unhinged. Funny double-team has Funk get in Mike’s way doing a thing so Sanders just kinda shuffles in place until hitting a sauntering kneedrop, but after he tries a cobra clutch, Sanders gets countered with a big flying forearm and goes down. Tags to both Williams & Funk set off a big surge- New South works the heels over, but they get do-si-doed into double dropkicks. Hudson shitcans to the floor off a clothesline while Sanders hits a hammerlock jawjacker to Williams, and Funk finishes him with the Piledriver at (2:53). Quick win for the heels, who are part of the WCW undercard being elevated in its final 12 months. Match wasn’t bad- a bit hesitant in parts but Funk was all action (called out by Tenay on commentary as a positive). Not much character for the heels yet, but that can get developed over time.

Rating: *1/4 (perfectly ordinary TV mini-match, just short)

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: BILLY FLYNN (aka The Codfather):
Appearances: #451 in 2002, #418 in 2003

-Yes, somehow THIS GUY ended up on the PWI 500. Twice! But as others have said, you could just send in $35 (probably $20 back in the day) and get in. He’s a generic looking guy who can’t work, and wrestled in Toronto around where Jason Sensation (who briefly made WWF TV) was. Looks like he was at it for 1-2 years in 2001-03 and was done. Regular-looking skinny guy. All his Cagematch bouts are listed as “Billy Flynn” and I can only find two “Codfather” matches, in which he wrestles as a fisherman.

BUDDY LANE vs. THE CODFATHER:
(Real Action Wrestling, Sept. 25th 2001)
* This is some sparsely-attended show with a SEA of empty seats on all sides, and features Flynn as “The Codfather”, billed from Dildo, Newfoundland (real place!), earning a laugh from the crowd. He’s wearing a bright yellow raincoat & hat like a fisherman stereotype. Lane looks equal parts “way past his prime” and “legit jobber guy”, and sure enough, he was an AWA & WWF jobber in the 1980s, did some indie stuff, and was a regular in this Real Action Wrestling for the year it was around. He’s squat and stocky and looks out of shape but like… he ONCE was in shape. Red trunks for him, and a flannel shirt and shorts/tights for the Codfather. Who, of course, comes out to trendy Nu Metal instead of a silly theme. Lane comes out to “Bad To The Bone”.

Lane turns his back and gets attacked before the bell, Codfather working him over with the rod & reel even after the bell sounds. And literally the instant Codfather starts throwing offense it’s immediately clear he has no idea how to work, as he’s clearly trying to avoid hurting Lane or even stiffing him slightly. He chokes away in the ropes. And chokes him. And chokes him. The fans chant “Master baiter!” (ho ho) and Lane gets Bret Harted into the corner. It’s hilarious because the Irish whips are the only things that look good because Lane can actually work so just rifles himself across the ring. Codfather locks on a pithold to waste time and throws embarrassing overhands before Buddy just amateur wrestles him to the ground to probably give instructions as the kid looks totally lost. He runs outta shit to do so many times he has to repeatedly do shoulder-rams and chops in the corner between working the arm. “Man, it’s so boring the lights turned off” a fan jokes. “Beat dat Newfoundlanderrrr!” cries a guy in a thick Eastern Canayjun accent, and Lane FINALLY makes a comeback, Codfather now thrashing around and doing his level best to oversell every shot. Buddy starts throwing kneelifts, which they clearly trained for a bunch since they do it over and over again, and Buddy wins with a Stunner at (6:52).

This came off like a trainer working with his student, which… maybe don’t CHARGE for this, lol- Codfather was beyond incompetent, throwing repeated feather-light offense for six minutes straight and then Buddy comes back with some pre-planned strikes and quickly puts him away while the kid can still do a flaily bounce-around sell. Codfather didn’t act like he was playing a character or anything- just kept spamming the same moves until it was time for the comeback.

Rating: DUD (more of an exhibition that proper wrestling)