What the World Was Watching: WWF Monday Night RAW – 03.18.96

Vince McMahon narrates highlights of Diesel turning on Shawn Michaels last night in Madison Square Garden.

McMahon and Jerry Lawler are in the booth, taped from San Antonio, Texas.

Opening Contest: The British Bulldog (w/Jim Cornette) (1-2) defeats Jake Roberts (3-0) via count out at 4:54:

McMahon and Lawler rip the recent Mike Tyson-Frank Bruno fight that only went three rounds, saying that fans will get more value ordering WrestleMania XII. Lawler also hypes a “special match” that he is having on Superstars and urges fans to watch it. The match is another poor one from Roberts where the Bulldog throws a lot of punches. Cornette gets involved several times, using a cheap shot and then pulling Roberts out of the ring to break up a pinfall after Roberts floats over a Bulldog running powerslam attempt and hits the DDT. This is meant to put over how the WrestleMania match needs to be a six-man tag because no one can fight Camp Cornette on their own. In response to Cornette’s interference, Roberts takes Revelation out of the bag and chases Cornette around the ring, losing his first match since his return via count out. Rating: ½*

Jim Ross narrates another video package of WWF Champion Bret Hart and Shawn Michaels training for WrestleMania XII. Michaels talks about Jose Lothario telling him to listen and learn when he entered the wrestling business that has served him well. Bret discusses how his son is a fan of Michaels but rips Michaels for dancing too much and not having to wrestle as much as he has over the last five months.

Non-Title Match: Goldust (Intercontinental Champion w/Marlena) (4-2) pins Fatu (0-2) after the Curtain Call at 2:36 shown:

Goldust wears a kilt during the match to get under Roddy Piper’s skin. Piper calls into the show, giving his generic spiel about how he does not take dives and is coming to WrestleMania to fight. Much of the action is cut by a commercial break. Fatu does his the Samoan bulldog to put Goldust in position for a top rope splash but Goldust moves out of the way. Goldust cannot get Fatu up very high for the Curtain Call, showing how the bulldog was arguably a better finish for him, but it is still good enough to win, continuing Goldust’s destruction of lower tier babyfaces.

McMahon does an in-ring interview with Camp Cornette to get their response to Jake Roberts’ challenge for a six-man tag team match at WrestleMania. Cornette gladly accepts. Owen rips each man on Yokozuna’s team, arguing he was the best piece of their tag team, Ahmed has no brains, and that he is going to squeeze the life out of Roberts. The Bulldog argues that he is stronger than Ahmed. Cornette breaks from Mr. Fuji, implying that he pushed him down the steps and calling him senile. He also says he had to be Yokozuna’s English spokesperson because Yokozuna made a fool out of himself every time that he opened his mouth. On the video board, Yokozuna, Ahmed and Roberts appear. They are supposed to note that if they win at WrestleMania that Yokozuna gets five minutes with Cornette but it is not clearly articulated. Yokozuna does the Banzai Drop to a dummy who is supposed to represent Cornette. Since the babyfaces were not clear on the pre-recorded video, Cornette has to put over the stipulation and freak out about it.

Highlights of the Bret Hart and Undertaker vs. Diesel and Shawn Michaels tag team match at Madison Square Garden yesterday air. An emphasis is placed on the Undertaker and Diesel fighting and then Diesel hitting everyone with a chair afterward. As referees help Michaels to the locker room he says that he is going to kick Diesel’s ass.

Call 1-900-737-4WWF to find out why Bret Hart did not come to the aid of Shawn Michaels yesterday at Madison Square Garden! Also, get an injury update! It will cost $1.49 per minute.

Diesel (4-1) pins Barry Horowitz (0-3) after a right hand at 2:05:

Diesel checks underneath the ring for the Undertaker before the match. Paul Bearer wheels a casket to ringside, providing a distraction that gives Horowitz a window to land a few strikes. A big boot stops that, though. In a weird finish, Horowitz kicks out of the big boot so Diesel hits him with a right hand on the canvas and re-covers Horowitz for the pin.

After the match, Diesel grabs a wrench from the timekeeper and carefully approaches the casket because he thinks the Undertaker is inside. When he opens the lid, though, it reveals a lifelike mannequin of himself. Well, that is the idea but it was actually a shrewd bit of camera work as they filmed Diesel in a casket and spliced it in post-production. A spooked Diesel quickly closes the casket and walks to the locker room, wondering if the Undertaker is going to attack him.

Tatanka, the 1-2-3 Kid, and Ted DiBiase confer in the locker room, angry when the cameraman approaches.

Mark Henry gorilla press slamming Jerry Lawler in a segment before last week’s Monday Night RAW is the Karate Fighters Slam of the Week.

Non-Title Match: Bret Hart (WWF Champion) (4-1-1) defeats Tatanka (w/Ted DiBiase) (2-3) with a schoolboy roll up at 6:57 shown:

A couple of minutes into the match the 1-2-3 Kid walks to ringside. The match is a standard back-and-forth encounter as Tatanka controls the middle until Bret blocks a flying chop with a fist to the gut and goes into the moves of doom. When Bret goes for the Sharpshooter, DiBiase distracts the referee and the Kid gets on the apron. Heel miscommunication results from that, though, and Bret rolls up Tatanka to win the final match of the evening. Rating: **

A new Billionaire Ted sketch has Ted grilled by the “Federal Turner Commission” that is assessing the Time Warner merger with Turner Broadcasting. Ted gets irritated and goes into a rant like Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, arguing that billionaires like him determine economic operations and deep down people need him to own everything. When pressed several times if he is trying to put the WWF out of business, Ted screams that he definitely is. A voiceover notes that fans should write to the Federal Trade Commission to oppose the Turner Broadcasting-Time Warner merger. This would be the final Billionaire Ted sketch as Kay Koplovitz, the head of USA Network, thought that the sketches were becoming malicious and demanded more supervision of WWF programming.

Tune in next week to see Shawn Michaels battle Leif Cassidy! Also, Ahmed Johnson wrestles Owen Hart!

The Last Word: There was some good angle development for WrestleMania on this show. However, the matches on this show were weak because their outcomes were not in doubt. That is demonstrated next week when Shawn Michaels is facing Leif Cassidy, a new character who is a goofball.

Monday Night War Rating: 2.9 vs. 3.6 for Nitro (Main Event: Hulk Hogan & Randy Savage vs. Kevin Sullivan & Ric Flair in a Texas Tornado tag team match)

Up Next: WWF Superstars for March 23!

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