What the World Was Watching: WWF Monday Night RAW- 03.04.96

Vince McMahon and Jerry Lawler are commentating, concluding the taping in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Opening Contest: Shawn Michaels (4-0) defeats the 1-2-3 Kid (w/Ted DiBiase) (2-2) after Sweet Chin Music at 10:04 shown:

The Kid does not get an entrance and is backdropped over the top rope when Michaels enters the ring, engaging his opponent before the opening bell like he did against Owen Hart at In Your House 6. WWF Champion Bret Hart appears in the split screen, noting that Michaels will not be able to do the same moves to him that he is doing to the Kid like a gorilla press slam. When questioned about the iron man match, Bret says that it will be a measure of who can persevere through punishment. The in-ring action is fast and furious and full of near-falls but each man also takes a while on the outside to get back in when they are knocked out. The Kid also kills time after a commercial break with a chinlock. Michaels’ comeback includes a moonsault and the Kid bails before taking Sweet Chin Music. He slams Michaels when re-entering the ring but misses a flying leg drop and Sweet Chin Music puts him down for the count. Good match as usual between these two even though the Kid never got close to pinning Michaels. Rating: ***

Michaels dances with a young fan in the ring and puts her on his shoulders as fireworks go off.

“Pipers’ Pit,” a Shattered Dreams production that is directed by Marlena, features Intercontinental Champion Goldust on the old Piper’s Pit set and wearing a kilt. The Shattered Dreams name was a turn on Dustin’s father, Dusty, who was billed as “The American Dream.” The champion talks about Piper being huge at one time and fantasizing about him in the 1980s on the set. He talks about exploding like a coconut when he saw Piper hit Jimmy Snuka with one and urges Piper to be his extra in Hollywood. The segment ends with Goldust playing the bagpipes terribly, blowing them as if he is doing that to the interim WWF president.

McMahon announces that the Ultimate Warrior will return at WrestleMania XII.

Justin Bradshaw (w/Zebekiah) (3-0) pins Hakushi (2-3) after the lariat at 4:12:

The RAW band plays Bradshaw’s theme like they did on The Action Zone a few weeks ago. Zebekiah carries a branding iron with him to the ring, adding another touch to Bradshaw’s gimmick. Roddy Piper calls into the show and hypes a future announcement of the Warrior’s opponent at WrestleMania. When it comes to Goldust, Piper says he is going to show up on RAW next week to confront him. This is Hakushi’s last WWF match so Bradshaw dominates, not selling Hakushi’s handspring back elbow smash. There is a botch late as Bradshaw is supposed to catch Hakushi during a pescado but Hakushi overshoots the mark so they both go down. Still, Bradshaw gets up first and slams Hakushi a few times into the apron and powerslam him. Hakushi will be missed, even if he never fit well in the WWF during his run over the past year. After this match he would return to Japan and finish the year wrestling for All Japan Pro Wrestling and Michinoku Pro. In the latter he would have a battle against the Undertaker in 1997. Rating: ½*

To write Hakushi out, Bradshaw ties his feet and Zebekiah brands him. Of course, the branding iron is just a stamp and is not actually hot. It was later explained to fans that Hakushi could not deal with the shame of the branding so he left the WWF.

Mankind is still in a dark lair, further discussing his poor childhood and how he will make sure no one will have a nice day. It is revealed that he wears a mask.

Call 1-900-TITAN91 to buy a WrestleMania XII chair. They cost $79.95 (plus shipping & handling). Buy it and watch the show sitting in it! No really, that was the angle that Dok Hendrix used to encourage fans to buy it.

Footage of a young fan crying at the Meadowlands because WWF Champion Bret Hart gave them his sunglasses airs. It would be used in some future video packages of Bret’s career.

Non-Title Match: Bret Hart (WWF Champion) (3-1-1) defeats Hunter Hearst Helmsley (5-1) via submission to the Sharpshooter at 8:51 shown:

Helmsley is accompanied tonight by a woman named Emerald Hart, another Penthouse model. Lawler cannot resist the urge to argue that Hart is Bret’s sister. During the feeling out stage Shawn Michaels walks to the ring and pulls up a chair in the corner. When Bret is tossed out near him, Michaels does nothing but Bret is not happy that Michaels is not watching the match in the dressing room. Surprisingly, it is Helmsley who brings more fire to the match as Bret spends much of it working armbars. After a second commercial break Bret blocks a fist drop off the second rope with his foot and goes into his moves of doom. Helmsley is unable to get into a rhythm after that and a dive off the second rope misses, with Bret locking in the Sharpshooter. Michaels may want to take note of that same sequence as it cost him a match against Bret at the 1992 Survivor Series. It took a while for this match to find its rhythm but it was another lackluster effort by Bret, who has yet to have a good televised bout this year. Rating: **

Michaels leaves ringside and then claps for Bret near the entrance, a spot that looks unnatural and forced.

The next Billionaire Ted sketch is “Tee Vee Trivia.” A note at the beginning says that actual quotes are provided from “The man who could control 50% of America’ s cable systems, Ted Turner.” The segment is nasty, attacking Ted for comments where he likened himself to Jesus Christ, called Black Americans brown, and said King Henry VIII had the best way of dealing with ex-wives. The Huckster is not present because he is still handcuffed to the ring, spoofing a recent Hulk Hogan match on Monday Nitro. That bit is funny because Hogan talks about how he helped a woman handcuff him, a reference to Hogan showing Elizabeth on camera how to do it during that Nitro show. Ted lusts after Candy, the female contestant, and when he loses, he pulls the plug on the show, telling people to wait until he gets control of Time Warner.

Tune in next week to see the Undertaker & Yokozuna face Owen Hart & the British Bulldog! Also, Roddy Piper confronts Goldust!

The Last Word: Since RAW was running unopposed this would have been a great time to try to hook in fans from WCW but this was not the show to do it. Even though Shawn Michaels and Bret Hart were featured the show was lacking energy, owed in part to its position late in a taping cycle. Bret and Michaels can yap about respect but it does not feel genuine and one can sense some tension between them, something the WWF is not willing to play into because of their position as babyfaces. The show really needed Diesel and the Undertaker as their feud is what is drawing the most interest for WrestleMania. It is interesting to hear that the Ultimate Warrior is returning, even though the Warrior and Jake Roberts back in the WWF is reminiscent of the Hulk Hogan era, a time period that the company has chosen to take pot shots at in the Billionaire Ted segments.

Monday Night War Rating: 3.6 (unopposed)

Up Next: WWF Superstars for March 9!

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