Megabucks Presents: The Four Horsemen’s Most Ruthless Beatdowns (WCW Vault)

Well, Scott has a different idea in mind over on the Vaults, so I figured what the heck, I’ll cover this one really fast, as I (spoiler) really enjoyed the collection.

We begin in the Nitro era in 1995, and considering who we usually see in the company of the faction from that point up, I can understand that that’s as far as we go. Plus the Horsemen end up being victims more often than perps with the nWo around anyway. Luckily, only Ric, Arn, and Brian are on hand today, with Pillman giving a really great promo about how everybody wants to be a Horseman, blending Hulk Hogan’s turn to the dark side with trying out for the group, like the Hulkster would ever sell out the red and yellow to belong to a faction of villains. In another prophetic statement, he also names Mongo as another wannabe Horseman, oh the irony! Even though he wouldn’t need the alleged racy photos starring himself and the American Males that Pillman claims to have. He finishes with a gauntlet of Dungeon of Doom imitations before getting to Paul Orndorff, who takes offense at being called unworthy. He reiterates the dynamic existing in this 4H incarnation, having no problems with Flair or Anderson, but the loudmouth punk kid who called him out? That’s a different story. And when the beatdown happens, it’s the elders getting Brian out of trouble. Orndorff is finished with a spike piledriver on concrete, which I believe explains away his retirement as well. Totally worth it for Brian Pillman’s Loose Cannon-in-Infancy interview alone.

We’re bringing out the big guns early, as next is “MAKE IT GOOD!” Basically Dusty and the Horsemen traded injuries, with the faces getting the latest duke in this when Rhodes injures Tully’s leg. So now it’s time for payback, as Ole and Arn are following Dusty to “Jim Crockett’s office” with JJ and Tully in the car behind giving running commentary. Notes during the drive: I miss Lionel’s Kiddie City. I see a bowling alley! (Gotta fire up an ABC Pro Bowler’s Tour episode Saturday afternoon…) The Crockett office is behind a sports bar. We all know how this ends, of course, with the Andersons giving Dusty a broken hand in return for their comrade’s leg. Did the original broadcast pause the footage before the bat hits too? The black spot over Rhodes’ hand does seem of its time, though. This is what people mean when they called JCP the more grounded, more gritty wrestling product.

Onto 1990, with the Andersons jumping Lex Luger, who’s in a match with Ric Flair. Luger fights the brothers/cousins/nephew-uncle/Edge and Christian/Cope and Cage/Chip and Dale, and I think this marks Barry Windham’s surprise return when he jumps Sting and helps turn the tide for the Horsemen. Sting is still getting over his knee injury in kayfabe and reality, and 13 year old me saw him as a sitting duck in this period who couldn’t fight back because of his misfortunes. And indeed, Flair looks to refresh said injury…but the video stops as he’s teasing the figure four. Anyone remember if we saw an end to this segment? This would be highly regarded if he did in fact complete the move; as it is, it was what it was but had story advancement with the Horsemen rebuilding their ranks. Ole would be a manager, and Sid was on his way, and I am one who thinks that lineup wasn’t that bad. I mean they were booked to be scared of Robocop and El Gigante, amongst other Herd silliness, but it was a pretty decent lineup too.

Back to Crockett, with Ricky Morton getting a surprise pin on the world champion. The Horsemen do not take this well, to say the least, and we get a pair of scenes of them bullying Ricky, starting with the locker room attack where Flair rubs Morton’s face into the concrete, which Tony and David sell as him having a new level of desperation as he “never attacked someone in the locker room.” Next comes Flair kneedropping Morton’s head, breaking his nose. Again, gritty, brutal, advanced stories…

The Horsemen get to leave the Road Warriors laying next. Notable for how rare it happened back then.

Flash forward to 1988 and Clash of the Champions, and again Lex Luger is the victim in the parking lot, against the group just recently enhanced with the addition of Barry Windham for the first time. It’s rather mundane and amounts to the Horsemen stripping Lex of his white suit…until Flair smashes Luger’s head into the car hood, busting him open. This part saved the segment, IMO.

Back to 1985 again with another famous segment, with Flair and the Andersons breaking Dusty’s foot in the cage. Good, historical beatdown, but the aftermath goes REALLY LONG, as the faces have to rescue Rhodes, THEN they have to dismantle the cage, THEN remove the bottom rope, all so they could get Dusty out. I realize that really sells the injury, but the cynic in me can’t help but wonder if somebody wanted to make his injury angle a monumental event.

Dammit, YouTube, stop breaking up things with Mandalorian and WWE Minute Maid ads I can’t avoid.

I’m guessing next segment is late ’86 or really early ’87, because Ole is still there. This time the victim is Brad Armstrong, who isn’t standing for Ric Flair trying to steal his interview time. Hilariously, Flair keeps trying to ignore him when beginning his usual rant against all the NWA faces. Standard stuff.

1987 for sure, because the Horsemen now include Lex Luger and they jump Ronnie Garvin, who had Arn in the figure four (which he applies like Dusty does). It stands out because somehow, Lex is able to put Dusty into the rack. So are we into Starrcade territory, perhaps?

And we end with Ole looking for Ric, and finding a world of trouble, as it’s his turn to be victim of the locker room beatdown, which was pretty vicious, physically and verbally, with loads of swearing you might not expect in a late-’80s, non-Attitude wrestling show.

Like I said, great compilation, and the type of thing I peruse both Vaults for. Non-PPV segments and matches, and other rarities. Check it out.