Joshi Spotlight: Miho Wakizawa

JOSHI SPOTLIGHT- MIHO WAKIZAWA:
Billed Height & Weight: 5’5″ 141 lbs.
Career: 1996-2001 (AJW), 2011-2014 (Stardom)

-Miho Wakizawa, aka “Wacky”, was kind of a highlight of my Joshi Spotlight watchthroughs over the past couple years… then kind of a lowlight, as she was one of the wrestlers most given to huge effort, but eventually her talent level peaked and every Wacky match became basically the same exact thing. She had a hugely expressive face (mostly a gigantic mouth, which helps a lot to read expressions) and a long, gangly body, giving her a unique look, and she went all-out in sooooo many of her matches. This goes a long way towards making a weak wrestler be fun to watch, or can make a mediocre one into a good one… to a point. Then problem is, circa 2001 Wacky hadn’t really improved much and with an elevated position on the card, she was prone to doing 10-20 minute bouts with her weak moveset, without the creativity to really “push” it to make things more interesting or unique. This left every Wacky match being very “tries for the Fisherman’s Buster a lot; hits the third try; Super Frankensteiner hits… later she tries it again and fails”. It’s a good showcase of the effects of novelty- what was a highlight now becomes more of a chore, as once you see the same thing a dozen times you go “Oh, that wasn’t that great after all”.

Wacky’s ultra-expressive face.

That said, she does have a second career of sorts- she lasts 4-5 years in All Japan Women’s Pro-Wrestling (Zenjo), then retires for ten solid years before all of a sudden turning up in World Wonder Ring Stardom (usually just “Stardom”). It’s pretty weird, and one of the only times I’ve ever seen that happen.

She frequently teams with Kayo Noumi, who debuted earlier but frequently quit so was lower than her. So overall, Wacky was a very energetic, bold wrestler. It’s not hard to see why the bookers elevated her a bit over her parter Kayo Noumi (Kayo was more attractive and a better seller, but had flaked out behind the scenes numerous times- quitting a lot and running away- and wasn’t as credible). With her GIANT smile and outgoing nature, she naturally attracted a bunch of fans, and played well against a roster of big mean senpais who would beat her up. Her moveset would expand a fair bit, allowing her to hit some fairly big moves and wrestle a slightly more compelling match against a veteran.

Wacky’s expressiveness also lends itself to terrified expressions.

CAREER TRAJECTORY:
-Miho Wakizawa debuts for Zenjo in 1996, in part of a very star-studded class by the standards of a post-1990 women’s promotion: her training class included Momoe Nakanishi, Nanae Takahashi and… okay it included those two and Wacky. I refuse to count Miyuki “The Eternal Rookie” Fujii, lol. But yeah, Momoe was a future WWWA Champion/Ace and an all-timer rookie and Nanae eventually became a… well, prominent person who is still around, so that’s pretty good for Zenjo, who usually had utter ass to deal with in most classes. Wacky was fairly tall (5’5″- nearly as tall as Manami Toyota & Mima Shimoda) and not really athletic but that could be trained in.

In March 1997, Wacky & Kayo Noumi win the AJW Tag Team Titles from Momoe & Nanae. They hold them for an unknown period of time before vacating them. In Nov. 1998, they win the AJW Tag Team Titles (2) again from JD’ wrestlers Sumie Sakai & Yuko Kosugi. These are naturally the “lower-end” tag belts in the promotion, which has two. They hold them for 223 days before losing to Kana Mizaki & Tsubasa Kuragaki of JWP. She & Kayo win the AJW Tag Team Titles (3) back in May 2000, beating the same JWP team. However, they vacate them some time the next year for some reason (perhaps aging out of them). She gets her first singles belt with the rookie-oriented AJW Junior Title in Sept. 2000, defeating Nanae Takahashi, who is about to be elevated (this was a standard way to elevate someone, oddly- jobbing their “Baby Belt”). She holds this for 251 days before losing to Rumi Kazama of LLPW (a much more elevated wrestler- she gives up the belt immediately). These are her only Zenjo runs.

MihoKayo’s “Native American” getups.

The 1970s novelty hit that MihoKayo use for their theme song.

In 2000-2001, Wacky very, very clearly gets elevated. Her team with Noumi starts getting decked out in Native American gear and coming out to a 1970s novelty hit with vaguely-Native sound. Her matches get a lot more time, and she starts getting solo bouts against a variety of wrestlers. They start a mini-feud with Black Joker (a heel stable comprised of Eagle Sawai, Rumi Kazama & Takako Inoue), mostly around how little respect BJ has for them, and how the kids try to beat some into the trio- it never quite works and seems mostly dropped after a point. She does VERY well in the Japan Grand Prix 2001, winning a lot of matches over the summer- she beats Kumiko, Fujii, Noumi, and even MANAMI TOYOTA (flukes were a common site in these, but that one’s a pretty big deal). This sets up a mini-“please respect me!” feud against Toyota as well. During the year I see a TON of jobs to Kumiko Maekawa, others to Kaoru Ito, plus Toyota. It felt like she was being groomed for a bigger role- she was clearly way ahead of Noumi, but in the slot right behind Nanae Takahashi as “the next one to win the Tag Titles with an elder partner”. However, by that fall, she announces her impending retirement!

From what I’ve heard, it was mostly wear & tear/injuries plus breaking down from the effort. Given how much of it she was putting into her matches, I can see that. She seems healthy enough during her final run, most of which consists of her doing hard-fought matches and then bawling her eyes out dramatically at match’s end, thanking opponents and the fans alike. She seems to give thanks to every arena she visits, and at one point begs “rival” (ie. person who was constantly kicking her ass) Manami Toyota to team up with her- the two confess they did like one another and teamed up in an AJW Garage show. She even gets an ultra-rare solo match against AKIRA HOKUTO, who easily defeats her but gives props after it’s over. In the end, Wacky hits all of her stuff against partner Kayo Noumi, fails to pin her, and does the job to her own Fisherman’s Buster, transfering it to Noumi.

WACKY IN STARDOM:
-However, in a surprising move, December 2011 sees Wacky RETURN TO WRESTLING almost ten years to the day after she retired, and works for Stardom! Very little of their stuff from this era is on YouTube, but she comes off here as a very “Generic McWrestler”. On the larger side given how much smaller wrestlers were getting, and with a more standardized moveset- still keeping the Fisherman’s Buster but doing bridging Germans, wheelbarrow Germans, etc. Here, she wins the vacant Goddesses of Stardom Titles (Stardom’s primary tag belts) alongside Nanae Takahashi in July 2013, holding them for 195 days before losing to Kimura Monster-Gun (Alpha Female & Kyoko Kimura). In Dec. 2013, while still tag champion, she wins their trios belts, the Artist of Stardom Titles, alongside Hiroyo Matsumoto & Mayu Iwatani from Kimura Monster-Gun (Alpha Female, Female Predator Amazon & Kyoko Kimura). They hold them for 224 days before losing to Hatsuhinode Kamen, Kaori Yoneyama & Tsubasa Kuragaki.

Looking at her run there, it seems like she’s paired up with Nanae almost all the time (a veteran squad to beat up the rookies?), with a “Win some, then lose some” deal, winning most of her singles matches but jobbing to Act Yukosawa & Hiroyo Matsumoto but beating rookies. Tag matches seem pretty 50/50. She does “okay” in their 5Star Grand Prix and Tag League (these are so heavily inspired by Zenjo’s they occur at the same times of year those did!). 2013 sees her wrestling a LOT of “Three Way” matches, winning half of them against Mayu & Hiroyo. She loses just over 50% of her bouts that year. The same is true of 2014, her last year of active competition- she loses the Wonder of Stardom Tournament Final to Mayu, which is arguably her peak as a singles wrestler. She honestly just looks like “Card Filler” just from looking at Cagematch (though that’s really my only criteria). Her final match ever is on Dec. 23rd, with Io Shirai, Masaaki Mochizuki & Mayu Iwatani beating her, Genki Horiguchi HAGeeMee & Manami Toyota. Though “novelty matches” are common with retirees, she only seems to have done one, a Stardom battle royal in 2021.

MOVELIST:
Missile Dropkick, Falling/Hooking Clothesline (often called a “neckbreaker drop” there), Bridging German Suplex, Fisherman’s Brainbuster (finisher- done multiple times), Super Frankensteiner (usually failing the second time)

The Matches:

MIHO WAKIZAWA vs. YACHIYO KAWAMOTO:
* Good heavens, who are THESE two? I’ve never heard of them. Expecting rookies who retired early (common to AJW at this time) I was surprised to find Miho had an 18-year career, moving on to Stardom, mostly in tag success. Yachiyo lasted… two? I think? One match in ’94 and a bunch in ’96? Miho’s in yellow (and is quite tall) & Yachiyo’s in black.

Miho completely dominates with the usual dropkicks, snapmares & armlocks, then Yachiyo comes back with dropkicks until time expires (2:33 of 15:00) shown. Those poor people.

EAGLE SAWAI (w/ Black Joker) vs. MIHO WAKIZAWA (w/ Kayo Noumi):
(AJW, Jan. 21st 2001)
* Zenjo’s other rising star gets fed to Eagle, probably to make Wacky look good in defeat. Wacky is SUPER serious to start, frowning a lot at a nonplussed Eagle. She even defiantly gets in the big veteran’s face, pulling hair, but Eagle just bullies her into the corner through sheer body mass in a good bit. Eagle’s in red with tons of tassels and Wacky’s in yellow.

Wacky charges at the bell, and actaully ties Eagle up in the ropes, puts her own hat on Eagle’s head, and facewashes her! But Eagle quickly knocks her to the floor with a body attack and bullies her out there, smushing her face into the camera lens several times, bashing her into the wall, then elbowing her in the head at the commentary table right in front of the crew, lol. Black Joker triple-team her in the ring and THIS is the one they’re using early cheating in, haha. Eagle bullies her more until Wacky comes back with more clotheslines, but flies off straight into Eagle’s feet (OW). She sells that on the floor, Eagle following by bashing her into a table and jamming a microphone into her forehead, but she tries a running body attack off the RAMP and ends up smashing into Takako instead! Miho follows with a stomp off the apron and puts the boots to Eagle, then hits a flying plancha. Kayo Noumi then runs in for a Rocket Launcher Senton (ass-first into Eagle’s forehead, lol). Stereo Flying Headbutts for two! We’re clipped to Eagle’s standing Rock Bottom, but she misses a Vader Bomb and Noumi pounces AGAIN, slide-dropkicking Eagle in the head and creating a big corner brawl. Rumi stops a super rana, Eagle hitting a release Superbomb (ie. Wacky just flings herself backwards and Eagle just sits there and kinda pushes her arms out), Kayo SUPERMANNING in to stop the pin. Eagle waits Miho out and hits a dropkick off the second rope for two, but gets caught up top by Kayo and NOW the Super Rana hits! And Eagle gives her the “has to grab the ropes” kickout, too! Miho looks AGONIZED to not have won, just absolutely despondent when she realizes what happened, and fires herself up, throwing a straight punch to stun Eagle, but charges right into a lariat for two, kickout out so weakly you know she’s dead. And sure enough, Eagle murdalizes the FUCK out of her with the ThunderFire Powerbomb at (7:35 shown). Wacky is defiant on the mic after the match, and Noumi lays out a challenge. Eagle laughs them off and provokes Kayo into charging her, resulting in a pullapart and Eagle’s amusement.

Okay I was expecting “Wacky looks defiant in defeat”, not “Wacky & Noumi cheat for the entire match in defeat”, haha. Noumi was the best worker in the match! Like she was EVERYWHERE, flinging her entire body into everything, cheering Wacky on, and more! Though that’s not to diss the other two- Eagle knew to milk every spot and make stuff look better. While she’s always been Aja Kong Lite, she knows that as a big girl and one who isn’t very fast, she has to make things COUNT, and doing things like building anticipation for a missile kick from the 2nd rope puts over the spot tremendously, as does stuff like trying a running body attack off the ramp because she dwarfs her opponents so. And the finish was terrific- Miho scores the super rana she’d tried before (the move getting more over because it had tried and failed earlier), Eagle puts it over by doing the “only has the energy to grab the rope” thing, and then a heartbroken Wacky has to fire herself up to score a last-ditch assault… and Eagle just breaks her heart through sheer body weight and veteran instincts, then kills her with a powerbomb. Wacky’s selling was GREAT in that end stretch, too- great stumbles and flails, knew how to look pained but still fighting, and I loved how she mastered “fling up one leg and then the other independently so it looks more ragdoll-y”.

Rating: **1/2 (very solid Big vs. Little match, also with an entertaining burst of “The babyfaces cheat the entire match but it’s still not enough”)

BLACK JOKER (Eagle Sawai & Takako Inoue) vs. MIHO WAKIZAWA & KAYO NOUMI:
(AJW, Feb. 28th 2001)
* The LLPW heel stable now takes another shot at Zenjo’s up & comers! This is probably another “look good in defeat” option for MihoKayo or whatever their team name is. They come out to Native American music with facepaint, lassos AND headdresses (what’s “Cultural Appropriation” in Japanese?) to show their seriousness. Wait, this is clearly a 1970s song with “disco clicks” and shit, lol. Noumi’s in blue and Wacky’s in yellow, both with TONS of brown leather fringe. Eagle’s in red & Takako’s in her new blue bodysuit thing.

The kids pounce before the bell, fighting off a counterattack to double-dropkick Eagle down and pose on her in a camel clutch, then smearing their “Indian paint-oh!”) on her face. Oh, they gonna DIE. Eagle catches a crossbody and body attacks Wacky down to escape. Takako & Kayo slap each other and Takako gets her DDT & super chokeslam, Eagle adds a 2nd-rope missile kick, and Takako’s powerbomb gets two. They try the Assited Powerbomb, but Wacky USES THE LASSO to pull Eagle back. Okay, CLEVER. The kids now use HEELISH CHEATING, strangling Eagle against the post with that lasso and finally wrapping it around her, but Takako beats up Noumi pretty easily. Wacky cuts a big promo while standing on Eagle, causing Rumi Kazama to hit ringside, but even she gets thrown around and back in Takako takes the stereo flying headbutts for two. Takako dodges a rocket launcher and throws both of them around while Eagle is untied, but misses a spinkick and takes the double-wrist armsault from Noumi. Takako improvises from whatever Noumi was messing up, then they trade pin attempts until Eagle barges in. She tries an avalanche sandwich but eats the corner, and Wacky GOES FOR THE STUNGUN. Rumi immediately pounces on her, but a struggles sees Takako zap Eagle by mistake and now Noumi grabs it, Wacky planchas Rumi, and Takako gets zapped in the leg.

Takako eats repeated missile dropkicks as this is ALL MihoKayo, four of ’em setting up the rocket launcher for two. Wacky hits her Fisherman’s Buster (lol Takako lifted her leg early) and Noumi her double-wrist- Eagle saves and throws out body attacks and dramatically shoves the ref out of the way. Vicious uranage/chokeslam hits Noumi, Takako bolts her in the ass, and then accidentally nails the REF with it. Hahah dad-bod ref has the best sell in the match, selling it like a sniper took out his arm. Takako’s like “outta juice” and gives it up, eating another double-wrist while Eagle misses a missile kick and gets GERMAN’d by Wacky, but Rumi takes the kids down and Takako nails a dead-eyed Noumi with urakens. The ref finally is awakened via stomps and CALLS THE MATCH OFF at (12:57), enraging the heels. Well that’s a surprise given all the usual stuff you can get away with, haha. Not Takako’s fault Wacky dodged it! They abuse the referee post-match like good heels while Wacky cuts a promo, Rumi cuts one back, gets a mic thrown at her face and the kids get beaten up, left laying as Black Joker stomps off in triumph. Wacky screams out after them but Kayo still hasn’t recovered from the booty-jolt.

Actually a very generous bout from Black Joker, giving MihoKayo 8-9 minutes straight of offense, getting embarrassed and tied up, then only taking the lead via Rumi’s cheating and Takako’s stungun, and even then the match is called off. Because it was kept comparatively short, it never dragged and the kids did a good job keeping it active. Interestingly the heels barely used anything in their kid, essentially giving up 75% of the match and then getting DQ’d during their turn- I was expecting them to stomp MihoKayo after a point.

Rating: *** (good match! Active and interesting with no down points)

AJW TITLE TOURNAMENT:
FINAL MATCH:
MIHO WAKIZAWA vs. KAYO NOUMI:
(AJW, July 27th, 2001)
* Another MihoKayo match, this one part of a one-night touranment. Kayo’s in a blue/pink outfit this time, while Wacky’s in a tight yellow thing, really emphasizing her beanpole look.

Kayo attacks before the bell but splats overshooting it and takes the Fisherman’s Buster for two. Commentary talks about how they’ve improved from their Black Joker mini-feud, “Wakizawa has mastered rough fighting. She has a different attitude than before”, but they keep messing up stuff and getting sloppy, but Kayo gets a flying splash…. and Wacky’s arm was splayed WAY out on that landing, and quickly she’s outside on the floor rolling around in very clear agony, tears in her eyes like she’s seen a Bret Hart match and moving her wrist around. After a LONG break, she gets back in, with her right arm hobbled. Kayo splats on a flying splash and takes a plancha & some missile dropkicks, Wacky’s arm a bit better, then Wacky fails another Buster. Rollup, perfect plex & flying splash get twos, then her Super Frankensteiner does. She goes up and takes Kayo’s Super Double-Wrist Armsault for two, Kayo counters a German and gets her own, then Wacky gets one, then she gets a Sunset Flip Powerbomb counter in the corner and her Fisherman’s Buster gets only two! She follows up, but Kayo counters her whip with a double-wrist armsault for two, then a sunset flip, Wacky rolls through, then Kayo get a sloppy crucifix hold off another whip and gets three at (10:33). Kayo Noumi is the new AJW Champion!

An interesting look at how much these two have advanced- in that they’re incredibly sloppy at various parts, but their effort level and their confidence has increased to the point where they can go out there and have a lot of high-impact moves and huge bombs off the top and it’s not a complete disaster. Wacky losing seems odd from a Western perspective but I’ve been told (and have now observed) that this is the way Zenjo “levels up” their wrestlers- jobbing out to the lower-level performer indicates to the fans that this is the time the young wrestlers “level up” and move up to the next level. Good job from Wacky toughing it out in there- that looked like it HURT but within moments she’s hitting planchas and Super Frankensteiners (which involves putting both hands on the mat to control direction/momentum) and not reacting. I think adrenaline was a factor in there because she was feeling it by the end.

Rating: **1/2 (good in spite of itself- like it’s sloppy and lots of moves don’t hit right, but both are so innately scrambly it kinda “fits”, and their effort level never wavered, even with the long injury bit)

AKIRA HOKUTO (GAEA/Freelance) vs. MIHO WAKIZAWA (AJW):
(GAEA Japan, Deep Endless, Dec. 15th 2001)
* Yes, Wacky’s retirement run continues and she gets to fight THE DANGEROUS QUEEN. This is an impossible task but may just be a gift to someone people liked, I dunno. This features a teary-eyed Wakizawa appearing before Hokuto and repeatedly bowing as she asks for a rare Hokuto singles match, and Akira granting it to her. This is actually Wakizawa’s second-last match before retirement (which lasts TEN YEARS and then she ends up in Stardom- no really!). Hokuto comes out in a BOSS rose-covered robe.

They shake hands before the bell… and of course Hokuto immediately spikes her with a near-vertical backdrop suplex. haha- PSYCHE! Wacky kicks out defiantly so Hokuto absolutely smashes her with a spinkick that had some STINK on it. Hokuto’s like “that’s iiiiiiiiiittttttt” to the yelling fans, but Wacky sneaks in a Fisherman’s Buster for two. Miho is just screaming her head off after every little thing, putting her whole career into this as she flails around with a backslide, and a botched leaping attack is countered by Hokuto with an armbar. GREAT reaction for Wacky paintbrushing her with a slap, Hokuto being like “…” before knocking her flat on her face with her own, haha. Wacky drags her off the top with a persistent frenzy of attacks, then counters Hokuto’s own reversal attempt by German-ing her off the second rope, missiling kicking her, slide-kicking her to the floor and ending with a big plancha. Hokuto appears quite disabled from that and struggles into the ring, where Wacky hits a regular fisherman’s suplex for two. Wonder if she’s babying that move because of Hokuto’s state. Flying splash gets two, as does a regular Buster (guess not). Two more each get two as Hokuto has to keep doing the “throw all your weight behind it” kickouts to escape Miho’s deep covers. Wacky argues the count, screams that it’s over and NYYYYYYYYOPE, Hokuto surprises her with the reverse-grip backdrop suplex! Big reaction for that kickout. Akira climbs but Wakizawa brings her down with her signature- Super Frankensteinerrrrrr but Hokuto completely no-sells and spikes her with a HUGE German- two! Dangerous Queen Bomb- two! Akira’s like “REALLY?” to the ref and claps to set up the Northern Lights… Wacky slugs her, but Hokuto splats her with a slap. Then another flattens her again. She waits her out and Wacky roars to life and is knocked flat again, then again, Wakizawa crying with defiance, and Akira beats her down again and the Northern Lights Bomb is the end at (7:56). Ahhaah now THAT’s how you build drama! Such is Hokuto’s sentimentality that she carries a giant yellow bouquet to the fallen and bawling Wakizawa, gives her a single handshake, then fucks off with her stick over her shoulder.

Wondeful showcase of how good Hokuto still is even with a shattered body- getting the most out of the last moments just with basic claps. Wakizawa gave her as good a fight as she could, spamming desperation finishers and hitting her biggest move… but the end was all Hokuto, who kept slapping her around to establish dominance and test her defiance, and finally just kills her.

Rating: *** (naturally one of the best-ever Wakizawa matches is against a crippled Hokuto, nearly retiring herself. Great drama and use of minimal offense to create a match)

WACKY FINAL SMILE:
RETIREMENT MATCH:
MIHO WAKIZAWA vs. KAYO NOUMI:
(AJW, Dec. 16th 2001)
* Fittingly, Wacky’s last match is against her tag partner. Commentary points out she’s been wrestling 5 years and 5 months, and is only 22 years old.

They do the DRAMATIC LOCKUP~~ to start, Wacky quickly dumping Noumi and hitting a big plancha and roars to the fans. Commentary openly derides how skinny she is for a wrestler, but points out her matches “draw the audience more and more” (“you can’t imitate that. It’s definitely somethign she was born with”). Wacky throws her around a bunch, but Kayo gets a screaming comeback and traps her in a camel clutch after several attempts. Wacky comes back and repeatedly bites Kayo’s feet, and hits some falling clotheslines for two, but gets dumped- she can’t get her Fisherman’s Buster. Kayo gets the world’s ugliest sunset flip for two- lol Wacky totally didn’t know what was coming and didn’t duck. Kayo tries a flying splash (after a SUNSET FLIP?) and splats, and so Wacky gets missile kicks, a splash and a fisherman’s suplex for two. Kayo rolls her up out of the Buster attempt, but takes the Super Frankensteiner for two. Fisherman’s Buster hits, but she hesitates and gets rolled up from the ground- she stomps away in revenge, but eats shit trying another Super Frankensteiner (Kayo hangs on to the ropes) and they end up slugging it out into an ugly flash-pin exchange. Wacky puts Kayo up again, but gets German’d off the second rope this time, then plancha’d on the floor. Missile Kick & flying splash get two-counts as the fans start to get impressed.

Kayo fails the Double-Wrist Armsault, but follows Wacky up top for the Super version, getting two, then the regular one for the same. Kayo tries another Super Armsault but Wacky sunset flip bombs her, hitting at such a high angle that Kayo’s HEAD bounces off the mat for two. German gets two, and she hits another Super Frankensteiner, Kayo rolling through for two, but Wacky spins her into the Fisherman’s Buster at last, getting two. Two more Fisherman’s Busters, but Kayo’s foot hits the ropes. Miho is flagging, and gets German’d while she’s building herself up for another try, then hits a Double-Wrist Armsault for two, then invents ROLLING Armsaults, hitting four in a row, Miho still kicking out. But that’s it for her, as Kayo now adopts the Fisherman’s Buster herself, scoring it for three (15:30). Miho Wakizawa’s career ends. She’s actually so messed up she doesn’t even start bawling immediately like all her other recent matches- it takes a while for her to get up and finally do her retirement interview, saying “I’m sad, but my heart is full” and thanking the fans for their support with tears in her eyes. She gets the 10 bell count and retires in a sea of yellow streamers, but is happier and less of a mess here than in every other Wacky Final match. We skip a post-match angle, apparently: during the ceremony, Rumi & Takako made it look like they were going to have Eagle beat Miho up, but “doublecrossed” Eagle with a double DDT and had Wakizawa pin her with a diving body press.

Wakizawa’s retirement actually outlasted Zenjo as a company- it’s TEN YEARS before she returns, turning up in World Wonder Ring Stardom in 2011, wrestling there for three years until retiring for good. She even won their tag belts once! And whatever the “Artist of Stardom” belt is! The match was a very “Miho Wakizawa/Kayo Noumi” kind of match- Super-Energetic, Wild & Fighty, But Not Technically Sound. All their offense is a gangly mess of limbs, as usual with Wacky in particular, but kind of fun for that. In the end, Wacky didn’t really develop a moveset of sorts and was often left spamming the same 2-3 moves all the time, but she was fun. And yet another wrestler retires in the Joshi Spotlight series (it’s unlikely I’ll ever move on to Stardom, lol).

Rating: **1/2 (energetic, fun, fighty, and sloppy- the Wacky Special)

MIHO WAKIZAWA vs. DARK ANGEL:
(Stardom, 5* Grand Prix, Sept. 2nd, 2012)
* It’s Stardom! I knew I’d finally end up reviewing a Stardom match, lol. So Wacky is now an “elder”, I guess, wearing yellow & black as she takes on Dark Angel, who is Canadian wrestler Sarah Stock, decked out in Mexico colors as she’s in her AAA identity. She seems really fit and toned. I think I recognize this building from Zenjo/GAEA watches, and this is probably the equivalent of a taped house show. Wacky gets yellow ribbons, Angel getting none, and runs her down and swats away with her jacket before the bell.

Stardom, like ARSION, is Rossy’s idealized form of wrestling: a scattered handful of women in the crowd, then a horde of bored-looking middle-aged men sitting in silence with their arms crossed until something cool happens, ensuring we rarely get distracting things like “crowd reactions”.

Wacky dropkicks Angel to the floor and climbs, but gets caught up top. She takes a weak ass-bump as Angel yanks her off the top, and stalls her comeback because Angel holds her hands up and does a taunt. Wacky just growls at her and attempst the IRON CLAW~~ of all things, Angel easily smacking her hand away, but Wacky then blows a raspberry in her face and dropkicks her knees out. She does the “taunt them in a camel clutch” spot, sticking a Rossy Ogawa mask over her face. She pulls on her in the ropes until Angel whips her to the corner, builds her SmackDown! Meter again, then does a clunky wheelbarrow move into a stunner. Slingshot dropkick and we’re clipped to a neckbreaker, held in place to stretch the neck. Wacky eventually spins her into a neckbreaker of her own, then another for two. Wacky bends her leg in one of the most simple-looking submissions I’ve ever seen, then slowly headlocks her for a “lucha submission” and segues that into a pin, then goes up and scores a missile dropkick (again a raspberry is the counter to Angel’s counter attempt). Dark Angel does the “Awkward Stardom Roar of Defiance” but charges into a rolling cradle, Wacky’s being subpar even compared to 2000s Manami, and only getting 3 rotations. Wacky misses a senton and lies their dead, allowing Angel to hit a spinning splash for two, then Angel flips her around a bit for two.

The worst thing to see in wrestling- vertical bumps to the floor followed by “everyone runs over to cover the wrestlers’ bodies and check for signs of life”.

Angel goes up, insisting the fans clap for her, and then SWEET FUCKING CHRIST- Wacky charges up for her Super Frankensteiner but ends up so overbalanced (jumping on Angel’s chest at collarbone height and pushing her back) that they immediately fall backwards off the top rope TO THE FLOOR, Wakizawa barely tagging the ring apron on the way down so she rolls to her butt instead of her head, while Angel goes feet-first. The crowd is aghast and both girls wisely sell it as the ref checks for any deceased wrestlers. So do the ring girls and someone who seems to be an agent/trainer. Finally, Angel does another “Awkward Stardom Roar of Defiance” on the floor and… rolls into the ring, where she lies there super-weirdly because her leg is fucked. Wacky also weakly rolls in and Angel limps over to her, then pulls her into a behind-the-back torture rack, which Wacky counters to a sunset flip for two. Angel clunkily rolls over her then rolls BACK for another rollup (lol does she only know how to do it from the one side?). Angel tries another wheelbarrow thing, but Wacky just Germans her from that position, then a Bridging German gets two, and a Fisherman’s Buster earns the “Fuck YOU!” bridge. One more Fisherman’s Buster scores the pin at (7:32 of 9:44 shown).

Well that was a disaster. A bunch of okay “house show match” stuff and comedy spots to start, some clunky stuff and that weird “Stardom Yell” that I always see whenever I’ve watched the promotion’s stuff (they LOVE that “stand there and scream in a way that nobody really does, ever, to show defiance and that you’re fighting through the pain” thing), and then a terrifying fuckup leads both of them to hit the floor in a way that was relatively safe considering what it looked like, but nearly killed them both. Since Angel rolled onto her legs and rolled back, her knee seemed messed up and Wacky was even clunkier after the fact, leading to some obvious “let’s wrestle on the mat because fuck standing up” spots, flash-pins and stuff. Then the “finisher doesn’t work, so I try again and it does” ending. This was obviously a smaller show, but they wrestled like they were just trying to end it, especially after the botch.

Rating: *3/4 (just clunky and kinda bad)