NWA Total Nonstop Action Review – 06.26.2002

Presented on Pay-Per-View on June 26th, 2002, this episode was taped immediately following their premiere on June 19th from Huntsville, AL. We quickly recap the events of that show, featuring Jeff Jarrett being the obnoxious heel on top of the promotion, Jeff Jarrett interrupting Toby Keith’s performance for easy heat, Jeff Jarrett being unfairly eliminated from the Gauntlet for the Gold by a non-competitor, and Jeff Jarrett having a pull-apart brawl with Scott Hall to end the broadcast. Oh, and Ken Shamrock won the NWA World Heavyweight Title.

Mike Tenay, Ed Ferrara and Don West are seated ringside to call the action, unless otherwise noted. We run down tonight’s card, which includes K-Krush vs. Brian Christopher, a Lingerie Battle Royal to crown Miss TNA, Double J vs. Scott Hall, and we will crown the 1st X-Division Champion in a 4-Man Round Robin, with A.J. Styles, Jerry Lynn, Low-Ki and Psychosis competing for the honors.

Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett:
I’m assuming they juggled the order of how things were taped, considering Jarrett is in different gear than how he ended the last episode. We kill the illusion that this isn’t live as Jackie Fargo and Toby Keith join Hall at ringside looking the same as they did last week. Hall tosses the toothpick at Double J, cracking himself up.

Lockup and Jarrett snaps off an arm drag, followed by some paint brushing. Hall comes back with the roundhouse rights and combo fallaway slam and clothesline over the ropes. Jesus, I’m watching their 1994-95 matches again, just slower. Back inside, Jarrett slides between the legs and connects with a pair of dropkicks. Jarrett cuts off a comeback, hopping on Hall’s back with a sleeper. Hall escapes and grabs a sleeper of his own, but Jeff quickly counters with a back suplex and slowly crawls over with a cover for a two-count. Hall fires off more right hands and follows Jarrett into the corner with a pair of clotheslines. He signals for the Edge, but K-Krush runs out and pulls Jarrett to safety. He takes a shot at Hall IN CLEAR VIEW OF THE REFEREE, but the match continues as Brian Christopher chases Krush away. Jarrett sets up for the Stroke, but Keith climbs in to give Jarrett a low blow. He assists in sending Jarrett face-first to the canvas and Hall covers for three at 7:02. I guess the referee just disappeared for 15-seconds, worrying about Krush and Christopher at the top of the entrance. Well, this was a perfectly OK match until the dumb shit interference and finish.

Recap of last week’s Miss TNA hype segment and the catfight between Francine and Electra.

Cheex (w/ Brown-Eyed Girl) vs. Frank Parker:
OH BOY. I know you stretch for content when you’re running weekly PPV and only have so many names, but there’s no chance in hell this should be presented for a PAY-PER-VIEW AUDIENCE. Wait a minute, we have BREAKING NEWS: Next week it will be Scott Hall and Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett and K-Krush! Parker with a series of clotheslines with no effect. Cheex already looks blown up, by the way. The big man easily puts the brakes on an Irish whip attempt and hits Parker in the corner with the running ass attack. MEANWHILE, Alicia, the former Ryan Shamrock, demands payment from Jeremy Borash. Riveting storyline! Parker again tries an Irish whip, then a sunset flip, with the obvious results, and Cheex ends this mess with a splash at 2:10. Thanks Cheex, we won’t be seeing you in the future.

We replay a good chunk of the segment from last week featuring our NASCAR stars Sterling Marlin and Hermie Sadler, with appearances from K-Krush and Brian Christopher, which leads us into…

Brian Christopher vs. K-Krush:
I’m not trying to dunk on TNA here, because there’s only so much talent available and you’re also booking for a specific audience, but putting two guys who were almost exclusively on WWF Jakked duty in 2001 as guys we’re supposed to be invested in? That will take time to rehab their image for the audience that is willing to pay $9.95 per show (which means snarky jerks like me). Just like our opener, Christopher is joined at ringside with some guests, in this case it’s Sadler and Marlin. Will we get a similar finish? Let’s find out…

Krush attacks while Christopher is wasting time playing to the crowd. Whip to the ropes, Christopher leaps over a back body-drop and connects with a hangman’s neck breaker. He takes Krush out of the corner with a big running bulldog for two. Krush counters a second attempt, straddling Christopher on the turnbuckle. Krush shows off some impressive agility and catches Christopher on the chin with a jumping heel kick. Christopher starts the comeback with some funky moves and an enzuigiri. Whip reversal, Christopher puts on the brakes to avoid a back body-drop and hits a Stunner. LOL. Krush with another cut off, but he pays for his attitude problems, getting straddled on the middle rope by Sadler and Marlin! Krush falls perfectly into position for Christopher to come off the top with the Hip-Hop Drop and Christopher gets the victory at 4:48. Yup. Same finish (as in the babyface seconds interferes, setting up the immediate pinfall). Fine work, just rushed and recycling a finish from 15 minutes ago.

Miss TNA Lingerie Battle Royal:
(Participants: Francine, Tyler, Joni, Shannon, Alexis Laree, Erin, Electra, Taylor Vaughn, and Sasha)
The winner of the match not only is crowned Miss TNA, but earns a TNA contract as well. All participants come to the ring in a pair of pajamas, so I’ll assume elimination will be determined by being disrobed to your undergarments. If you skipped last week, Shannon is formerly Daffney of WCW, Taylor Vaughn is formerly B.B. the EMT of the WWF, and Alexis Laree is Mickie James. If you’re expecting a detailed play-by-play, I’m going to punt on this one; it’s a smut match with several untrained workers, and only serves one purpose. Actually, two purposes, but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there (and trust me, it’s going to get much worse!). We get our catfights, of course. Francine is eliminated in the middle of the field, and Ed Ferrara attempts to get familiar with her, only for her to lash him with his belt. We miss a few eliminations, as it comes down to Taylor and Electra, and boom, Taylor wins the crown of Miss TNA at 4:46. Well, this is a match that exists. Post-match, Francine returns and lashes Taylor.

Goldylocks is standing by with Apolo, the IWA Superstar who had a decent showing in last week’s Gauntlet for the Gold. Bobcat interrupts, with some goober standing in the background, demanding some respect… oh, that’s David Young. Goldylocks no-sells it and suggests she take it up with management.

Apolo vs. David Young (w/ Bobcat):
David Young was an NWA Wildside regular at the time, but he has a less-than-impressive look, not very tall, kinda balding, and a mostly average physique. If you’re telling me to lay out this match, I’m putting Apolo over in 3-4 minutes maximum. “The success of this organization hinges on the stars of the future.”

Lockup and Young grabs a side headlock. Apolo stands his ground on a pair of shoulder blocks and catches Young off the ropes with a slam. Apolo sends Young across the ring with a double-arm suplex and follows him to the floor with a plancha. The match seems to be playing second banana to Bobcat at ringside. Back in the ring, Apolo misses a charge into the corner, allowing Young to string together some offense. For the second match of the night, Jeremy Borash is getting way too much attention from a female member of the roster. Apolo escapes a chin-lock and uses the middle rope for a tornado DDT. The comeback is short-lived, as Young catches him out of the corner with a spine-buster. Young loses his focus with Bobcat sitting on Borash’s lap. Apolo rolls away from a moonsault, pops Young with a Super-Kick and finishes with the TKO at 5:27. Yup, we’re teasing a split between wrestler and valet we were just introduced to 10-minutes ago. Work was OK, but the story was Bobcat’s antics, so who cares?

Joel Gertner is back, once again doing the big intro for the Rainbow Express, Bruce (Alan Funk) and Lenny Lane. We’ll see plenty of Bruce in the coming weeks… They’re scheduled for a match with the Dupps, but they refuse to work with these alternative lifestyle folk. Bill Berrens catches James Storm and Chris Harris entering the room, offering them the spot, but they’ll have to work as is, no time to switch to their wrestling gear. JAMES STORM AND CHRIS HARRIS? Hmm…

James Storm & Chris Harris vs. The Rainbow Express (w/ Joel Gertner):
Last week, Storm was on the losing end of a tag match with Psicosis against Richard and Rod Johnson, while Harris and Bruce had unimpressive runs in the Gauntlet for the Gold. Bruce and Lenny get the jump on their opponents, but things quickly turn around as Bruce is sent out of the ring and Storm comes off the ropes with a bulldog on Lenny. Our commentator team spouts exposition about Harris and Storm’s history, which is nice when they aren’t as well known as others on the roster. The Express take control, using their unique style to their advantage. Don West is kinda gross in his reactions to the gimmick. BREAKING NEWS: We’ll start a Tag Team Championship Tournament kicking off NEXT WEEK. Lenny with “The Tiger Tamer” (Jericho’s Lion Tamer) but Harris saves. Harris with the hot tag, running wild with left hands on both men. Heck breaks loose with all four men in the ring. Lenny drops Harris across the top rope while Storm takes Bruce to the floor. Harris rolls through a slam and takes Lenny over with a back-slide for two. We get a spectacularly botched O’Connor Roll, Lenny gets knocked into Bruce, and Harris rolls Lenny up for three at 4:49. THE UNDERDOGS WIN! THE UNDERDOGS WIN! Another OK-ish match. There was an obvious lack of crisp teamwork from Lenny and Bruce, but the match wasn’t long enough to completely expose them.

Ricky Steamboat, STILL IN HIS REFEREE GEAR, introduces the NEW NWA World Heavyweight Champion, Ken Shamrock. Steamboat puts Shamrock over for joining a select list of few outstanding people to hold the gold, though he fails to mention anyone since WCW lost the rights to using the belt. Shamrock promises to defend the championship with honor and pride. NOT WITH THOSE SIDEBURNS, MATTINGLY. James Mitchell interrupts, saying he’s on a mission from God (“Not your God, but mine”) and that’s why his Disciples of the New Church will ensure he controls the NWA World Heavyweight Championship. According to legend, Shamrock is the World’s Most Dangerous Man, and if it’s true, he’d like to issue a challenge; Shamrock faces one of his Disciples for the Title NEXT WEEK… Slash. Shamrock laughs it off and dares him to take the belt right now, but IT’S A TRAP, as Malice appears from behind and drives Shamrock to the canvas with a Chokeslam. Decent segment, further establishing Malice as someone to take seriously.

We’re told that the Flying Elvis’ are furious over not being involved in tonight’s X-Division Championship Match, but the lineup was already set, so too bad for them.

X-Division Championship Match:
A.J. Styles vs. Psicosis vs. Low-Ki vs. Jerry Lynn:
This is a Double-Elimination “Round Robin” Match, but to be more accurate, it’s a King of the Hill style situation, where the winner stays, and losers rotate out. Once you’ve taken two losses, you’re eliminated, and the last man standing will be crowned the inaugural X Champion (it would soon be established as the “X-Division Championship”, so we’ll just stick with that since I’m going to constantly slip up anyway).

A.J. Styles and Psicosis start, with Low-Ki and Jerry Lynn hanging around at ringside, waiting their turns. Lockup, Styles with a side headlock and shoulder block. He lights up Psicosis with chops but the wheelbarrow bulldog is countered with a face-buster. Whip reversal, Styles lands on his feet on a monkey flip and connects with a Super-Kick for two. Styles meets an elbow in the corner and Psicosis catches him on the chin with a spinning heel kick. Guillotine leg drop gets two. Reversal to the ropes, Styles blocks a hurricanrana and hits the Styles Clash for three at 1:59.

Low-Ki immediately unloads on Styles with kicks, but gets baited into a hurricanrana from a grounded position! The good fortunes don’t last, as Low-Ki escapes a waist-lock and connects with a jumping roundhouse. Styles blocks a monkey-flip, but the Styles Clash is blocked. Low-Ki launches Styles across the turnbuckle and snaps him off with a Dragon Sleeper. Styles avoids a corkscrew moonsault and folds Low-Ki over with a clothesline. Styles rolls through with a German suplex and follows with a face-buster for three at 4:19.

Jerry Lynn runs through Styles with a clothesline and the cradle piledriver gets three at 4:40.

Psicosis comes off the top with a missile dropkick to the back of Lynn’s head. They fight for control with a series of counters until Lynn comes off the ropes with a spinning head-scissors. Psicosis meets a boot in the corner and Lynn with a flying bulldog for two. Psicosis with a hurricanrana to send Lynn over the top rope, and follows with a tope con hilo. Back inside, Psicosis with a flying heel kick for two. Lynn slips out of a slam and hits a reverse DDT for two. Psicosis hangs back to avoid a dropkick and heads to the top, but Lynn meets him mid-flight with a dropkick and the cradle piledriver finishes Psicosis at 7:41.

Low-Ki has Lynn compromised, punting the chest for a two-count. Slam and a twisting elbow drop for another near-fall. Lynn brings up a boot in the corner, but Low-Ki quickly cuts him off with a rolling heel kick. Flying hurricanrana is countered by Lynn with a sunset flip for a two-count. They trade strikes, with Lynn getting the better of the deal. He takes Low-Ki over with a back body-drop and charges through with a pair of clotheslines. Lynn signals for the piledriver, but Low-Ki counters with a hanging cross arm bar! Lynn fights to lift Low-Ki off the canvas and slams him down for 2.999. Lynn counters a fisherman suplex with a DDT and the cradle piledriver finishes Low-Ki at 12:03.

A.J. Styles with a discus lariat for two. He makes the mistake of calling out his finish, and Lynn easily counters. Whip to the ropes and Lynn with the tilt-o-whirl back breaker for two. Styles blocks a sunset flip and comes in from the apron with a corkscrew splash for two. Styles gets too fancy in the corner and gets caught with a tornado DDT for two. Suplex is countered by Styles with a hangman’s neck breaker for two. Another charge into the corner backfires, with Lynn hitting a running Liger-Bomb for two. Styles counters the cradle piledriver and hits the Styles Clash, giving Lynn his first loss of the match at 16:05.

Ricky Steamboat takes over as special referee for the deciding fall, because REASONS. They are slow to their feet and engage in a strike exchange, followed by a series of pinning combinations for numerous near-falls. Both men are back on their feet and quickly crash in the middle with a double clothesline. Styles sends Lynn to the apron with a dropkick, but gets hung up across the top rope in an attempt to follow up. The action spills to the floor, with Lynn sending Styles crashing into the guardrail. Styles blocks being thrown into the side of the ring and comes off the apron with the inverted DDT.

Back inside, Lynn counters another attempt at the DDT and leaves Styles out to dry on the top rope before hitting him with the rope-assisted DDT for a near-fall. Styles escapes a verte-breaker but a hurricanrana counter sees Lynn plant Styles face-first for another two-count! Styles escapes the cradle piledriver set-up and hits an ushigoroshi for two! Lynn blocks a suplex, hitting a brain buster for two. Lynn slows it down with a sleeper, but a jaw breaker from Styles escapes the hold. Lynn won’t give Styles the time to make the trip to the top rope, hammering on him with rights. Lynn climbs up and sends Styles crashing down with a super-plex for two! Lynn positions Styles across the buckle again, but Styles fights Lynn down and hits the Spiral Tap for three and the X-Division Championship at 25:59! Hot damn, this was with the $9.95, and makes up for the schlock that Russo put together for us for the first hour-plus. You could say they probably dug too deep in the bag of big moves and near-falls, but they had the crowd eating out of their hands and almost everything was executed with perfection. I was certainly on the edge of my seat, and that’s for a match that is nearly 25-years-old! Legitimately a must-see match from TNA history.

We wrap things up at the announcer’s table as we plug next week’s card, including a one-night tournament to crown the first Tag Team Champions (it will only be four teams, don’t worry, we’re not digging THAT deep), Scott Hall and Brian Christopher vs. Jeff Jarrett and K-Krush (in a non-tournament match), and Ken Shamrock defends the NWA Heavyweight Championship against Malice.

Final Thoughts: We had an outstanding Main Event that focused on the X-Division Champion being crowned, and then our usual from the creative mind of Vince Russo. The bad wasn’t AS BAD as last week, but there’s still some silly stuff all over the place, like a morbidly obese man struggling to just walk around the ring, introducing characters who are already teasing a split, whatever that nonsense was with Francine and Ed Ferrara, and The Rainbow Express and The Dupps being one-note unfunny characters. As long as they balance X-Division “bangers” with the silly Crash TV nonsense, we should be OK.