Tooned In: Young Astronauts (1985) (audio only)

Happy Saturday mor…er, really late Saturday! This one is going to be a little different, but timely considering the news this week.

But first, a rare MeTV Toons wet blanket, because the prints they have of Super Mario Bros. has introduced the modern day equivalent to those colorized, redrawn prints of Looney Tunes and Popeye. If they really wanted to impress me, have AI draw Indiana Joe a face finally. And Wildbrain again? Didn’t they also withhold Rocky and Bullwinkle from the channel? Anyway, in some better Me news, watch it tomorrow afternoon for some Easter specials featuring the Smurfs and Yogi Bear, as well as a few more entries from the Rankin-Bass library. On the non-cartoon end, I do believe they got in another wrestling reference on this past Ghosts, because a painting in the background appeared to have the ‘80s Royal Rumble ring apron.

Random Episode of the Day: remember when Davey planned to commit murder? Well now you do.

Now, ever wonder why Muppet Babies’ spot on the CBS Saturday schedule would seem to grow and grow? It’s because CBS had notoriously bad luck throughout the later ‘80s, with shows being pulled, sometimes even before they aired at all. One such show was The Young Astronauts, which was to premiere around the time the Challenger tragedy happened. Obviously it wasn’t a good idea to keep a show of its theme on the air at that time, and so it was literally never seen again after. This on top of Little Muppet Monsters being canceled early the same season. It’s even unclear as to whether the premiere episode made it to air. It was possible considering it was the weekend before the accident, and there’s some word of mouth to support that, but actual footage doesn’t exist. Aside from animation cels popping up, and the show’s PSA segments being repurposed for Richie Rich reruns, Astronauts was lost media.

Until now…sort of. A couple of years back, Simon Letch’s Sunbow and Marvel YouTube channel found various Marvel animation audio reels on eBay, including various clips of voice auditions for Young Astronauts, as well as the dialogue for an entire episode. The link is posted below, and is what I will be reviewing today. The episode is called “Ghost Ship,” session recorded on October 10, 1985, and it is the fourth episode of the series, although it’s identified as episode “one” (maybe first of the sessions they did that day?)

Note: I’m going to attempt to go into this blind, to see what happens when I have no context and only sound to go by.

A guy named Rick is complaining about collecting ore to…BART SIMPSON. Well he has to track purple-loving space mutants somehow. No, this is his sister Wendy, who of course is played by Nancy Cartwright, perhaps the most recognizable VA to me in the session. They’re interrupted by labor pain yells, but this is their younger sibling MIkey, who’s trying to play a prank. This is kind of deduced by Wendy, who notes that you need oxygen to make noises, and they have it in their space suits. Rock and Wendy don’t want any of him after the joke, so Mikey commiserates with his robot sidekick Retro, who has a KITT vibe going right down to mentions of “Michael.” Looking for his ore collecting robot, he gets lost in an abandoned ship as we cut to a new scene of random murmurs as the kids’ mother (also the commander of this space crew) wonders where they are, and then there’s talk about asteroids. They break to allow Nancy to redo a line a couple times.

We jump between the adults, Mikey, and Rick and Wendy, and without context it seems really, well, random and like we’re jumping shows. Retro has discovered an unheard transmission source, but Mikey declares his distrust and wonders aloud “who programmed that droid.” Better not, Mike, in space, George Lucas’ lawyers CAN hear you infringe. A few more scene switches, and now the adults hear the transmission too. Mikey can’t find his robot friend and suddenly breaks out in defecation-type grunts and a Peanuts kid yell. He’s reunited with his siblings, and even though Rick wants them to leave, Mikey doesn’t know why because they dragged him around this TITLE DROP in the first place. Walls appear and doors shut themselves as we pause for more retakes.

Back to the adults again, who are talking about “kissing ram scoops” or something. Over with the kids, crew member Flynn has encountered them and warns them of fatal deviations…just before he too breaks out in terror screams and vomit noises, then a random voice saying “1998, last century.” I know, that’s how the year feels to me too. The adults notice that the ship is “becoming alive,” so that’s who messed up the Mario cartoons! They also realize that the kids are there. More turd passing voices makes me assume they’re being grabbed by something, Rick included. We stop because people laugh at Nancy’s screams. Then for the next few minutes, we get dueling Mikey shouting what Retro’s hiding from him, versus a female robotic voice demanding “WHO ARE YOU?” like a space-age Wonderland caterpillar. More groans as the voice (hopefully) coincidentally expands its vocabulary by asking “WHY DID YOU COME?” Retro finally returns and puts the whole thing out of its misery by telling Mikey to give his name. In the meantime, his mother says everyone has to escape the ghost ship now, Mikey or no Mikey. Talk about punishment for his pranks! The voice turns out to be the ship itself, named Star Seeker, which has been lost in space and needs Mikey to prepare him for, insert vague prophecy here. He’s released in the nick of time as Star Seeker apparently goes up in flames. Before so, she reminds him that he will be “the first” as Earthlings become one with the rest of the universe.

So this seemed all over the place not having animation to go by. Part “funny” kids, part a bit more sophisticated space travel, and it looked like it meant to have a story arc throughout the season. There was potential, and this audio track is an interesting look at what could have been.