JCW Lunacy Episode #69 Review – 02.05.26 – Ch-Ch-Chosen One Revealed!

Last week on JCW Lunacy, Vince Russo made the difficult announcement that Matt Cardona would no longer be appearing for JCW and a new Champion would be crowned next week, as well as the decision to relieve Vampiro of his duties when he refused to fire Madman Pondo for the attempted murder of Mosh Pit Mike. CoKane survived a triple threat ladder match against Kerry Morton and Caleb Konley to get first dibs at the next Champion, PCO debuted and might be working for Big Vito, Jonathan Coachman debuted as well with a talking head segment (playing a heel, of course), Facade defeated Ninja Mack under questionable circumstances for the American Championship, and Al Crowley continues to abuse her powers yet can’t snatch the Women’s Title from Haley J.

Taped on January 19th, 2026 from Albuquerque, New Mexico. Joe Dombrowski and Veda Scott back for a second week in a row! YAY! I’m going to hate my life when we go back to the regularly scheduled color analyst.

Big Vito is bragging up a storm to Vince Russo about last week’s activities, including meeting some ladies and taking them home for some wine. Russo doesn’t seem interested and wants to know about this relationship with PCO. Vito says PCO is an old friend that happened to be in town and needed some money, so Vito had a job for him. “More like a hit.” Russo tells Vito no more hits. Vito accuses Russo of forgetting how to have fun and be Vinnie Ru, tells him to enjoy a Cream Soda. Enter Kerry Morton, who Vito frisks for the hell of it before allowing him through. Morton knocks on the locker despite having access to the room, and both men almost break character over it. Morton thinks Russo is behind Matt cross getting involved in his matches lately. Russo responds that Kerry is like his dad and all pro wrestlers; he suffers from paranoia. He offers to make things right for Morton, booking him in a match for the American Championship, which doesn’t seem to satisfy Morton’s ego. Morton says if he figures out Russo is behind this, “they’ll talk.” Russo suggests taking off the tin-foil hat first.

JCW American Championship Match:
“The Neon Ninja” Facade (c) vs. Kerry Morton:
We recap last week’s title change where Facade put his feet on the ropes to secure the three-count in the deciding match of his best of 3 series against the former Champion, Ninja Mack. Morton’s entrance isn’t nearly as long as it can be. He yanks Facade off the ropes, getting the match started before the bell. Facade with his “Ninja” skills to turn things around, but aggressively pursuing Morton sees him get hung up across the top rope. Morton with a slingshot suplex, setting up for the exposed knee strike, but Facade avoids the charge and stacks Morton up for a near-fall. Facade with the hot comeback, hitting Morton with a springboard and rope-walk side kick, but here’s Ninja Mack, getting the match thrown out at 4:05. He hits Facade with a suplex and standing corkscrew moonsault. Meanwhile, Morton spies Matt Cross in the crowd and chases after him. Eh, I don’t think Morton wanted the American Title anyway.

Vito still has the wallets wrapped in Italian wrist-bands that belong to the Brothers of Funstruction, and knows they’re hiding something, and he’s going to get it out of them.

James Storm with last words ahead of tonight’s Championship Match against Mr. Anderson. They have history in other companies and now they have history here. Tonight, he’s going to channel his emotions and keep them low so he can focus on taking Anderson to the canvas and beat his face in. The last thing Anderson will hear is 5 words; Sorry about your damn luck.

Vince Russo is on the phone as Big Al Crowley storms in. Russo cuts her off to finish his conversation, so Crowley has no interest in telling him what she had on her mind and walks off.

PCO vs. Mosh Pit Mike:
I guess this is better than Mike versus Madman Pondo or Mickie Knuckles. PCO is introduced as a representative of the Luciano Family Enterprise. INTERESTING. Mike is introduced as “Mike Dairyaire”, and he’s dressed in a Dollar Tree Quebecer outfit. He makes sure to tell us that he’s NOT a Mountie. He hooks PCO with a half-nelson and smashes his head into the buckle (isn’t that a JACQUES ROUGEAU spot?) that PCO no-sells. He lays Mike out with a clothesline and hits the corner cannonball. PCO with an inverted DDT and moonsault to wrap this one up at 2:20. Mosh Pit Mike continues to exist. Yay.

Ruffo is freaking out that Vito “knows”. Yabo says there’s nothing they can do about it if that’s true, and that they need to get their heads straight for tonight’s title defense.

Haley J is happy to have her mom to watch her back when she’s suddenly attacked from the back by J-Rod, who says this was a receipt for taking her spot in OVW.

Mr. Anderson says the bar is closed figuratively AND literally. This is their 4th meeting in JCW, and not only is there a rivalry, but a pattern, a pattern of neither man being pinned or made to submit, and blames that on Storm… wait a minute, didn’t Storm pin Anderson for a shot at Cardona’s title? Anyway, Anderson continues to be a conspiracy theorist about Storm no-do-jobbies, and the only people that don’t see it are the Faygo drinking, make-up wearing lunatics that hate pro wrestling. SHOTS. FIRED. BRO.

Big Vito is on the phone, telling someone to put $500 on the Knicks. TO DO WHAT, VITO?! Jasmine St. Claire is fuming at Vito taking her Monsters out of action this week. He doesn’t like her attitude.

Haley J comes out, mic in hand and not pleased. She wants J-Rod to bring her ass to the ring. The Ultimate Athlete accepts and THEY HAS FIGHT! The fight spills into the crowd and back to ringside, where Haley is sent face-first into the post. J-Rod continues to dish it out until Amazing Maria comes in for the save, but poor Mama Hollyhood gets Groundskeeper Willie’ed for her efforts. Hey, the women’s division isn’t just three people now! It’s four! Five, depending on Mickie Knuckles’ motivation on a given week.

Vince Russo is once again talking to the unseen Ch-Ch-Ch-CHOSEN ONE.

Big Vito enters the ladies room to find that Mickie Knuckles has taken out Jasmine and gives her the pay off for the hit. RUSSO SAID NO MORE HITS, BRO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! We ruin the fun with Mickie saying she’ll be back “for the tip” later. Yeesh…

Hype video for JCW Strangle-Mania, coming to Las Vegas on April 17th, 2026. Names attached to the advertisement that aren’t our regular casts of Juggalo characters includes Rob Van Dam, Kenta, Nic Nemeth, The Good Brothers, Charlie Haas, Matt Riddle, Nyla Rose, EC3, The Rock ‘n’ Roll Express, and George South, as well as Vampiro’s RETIREMENT Match. Sure, Jan.

CoKane vs. Caleb Konley (w/ Jeeves & The Ring Rat):
The Devil’s Favorite Dealer is putting his shot at the JCW Championship on the line because REASONS. Didn’t Konley win a match a few weeks ago that was a wink-wink contender’s match? CoKane is actually carrying around a briefcase, so even JCW is doing this nonsense with the contract prop. What the heck are these guys doing with this catch style wrestling?! CoKane shows off some flashy flip-a-dip moves to take control. Konley cuts him off, dropping him across the top rope and coming off the ropes with a double-stomp for two. Konley with a sliding clothesline for two. CoKane escapes a chin-lock, but takes too long climbing the ropes. CoKane fights out of a super-plex attempt and hits the flying lariat. Big comeback from CoKane. He gets ready to empty the baby, but that chucklefuck Jeeves smacks him with the briefcase for the Disqualification at 6:59.

I’m sure Caleb will be happy with that one. Jeeves tries to explain himself but Konley hits the spinning back-hand and a burning hammer. The Rat tries to talk sense into him, but Konley pops her with the backhand and hits another Burning Hammer on Jeeves. Russo comes out with applause, AND OH MY GOD, CALEB KONLEY IS THE CH-CH-CH-CHOSEN ONE! Jeeves is placed on a stretcher, but Konley’s all I’M NOT FINISHED WITH YOU, flips him over, and hits a FIFTH burning hammer. Well, we didn’t need the back-hand to the Ring Rat, but they finally paid off this strained relationship storyline.

JCW Tag Team Championship Match:
The Brothers of Funstruction (c) vs. The Outbreak (w/ Barnabas the Bizarre):
It was four weeks ago where, thanks to the shenanigans of Big Vito, the Brothers of Funstruction won their 4th JCW Tag Titles from the Outbreak, but since they’re honorable champions, they have no problem giving them a rematch.

Yabo blows up a balloon and surprises Jacksyn with a rolling school-boy for a two-count. “First time I’ve seen a Zombie do a standing side switch.” Crucifix bomb from Jacksyn for a near-fall. Yabo smacks Jacksyn with his giant tie, but it has little effect. Ruffo and Yabo take turns dropping elbows, but Ruffo gets too careless and caught with a clothesline from Abel on the apron. Ruffo fights out of a hangman neck breaker and Yabo runs wild with the hot tag. Abel fights out Eat Defeat but is caught with a roundhouse enzuigiri for two. There’s action on the floor, and Jacksyn isn’t happy getting noogied by Ruffo. They fight into the crowd, and it’s some low-effort walk ‘n’ brawl stuff. The bell finally rings at 5:48 as the match is OFFICIALLY thrown out. We come back from an ad break (including a plug from William Patrick Corgan for NWA Powerrr), and they’re fighting outside the venue!

JCW World Championship Match:
“Cowboy” James Storm vs. Mr. Anderson:
Well, it’s time to crown the NEW JCW Lunacy Champion. Those bastards in Connecticut poached them of Matt Cardona, but whatever, he wouldn’t be able to hang in this environment for too long, bro. Anderson attempts a cheap shot during introductions, but Storm sees it coming and knocks Anderson out of the ring. They take the fight around ringside, with Storm in control. Back inside, Storm’s knee buckles, giving Anderson the opening to clip the leg for further damage. He dominates with the usual of clubbing forearms and some fish-hooking. Anderson with a slam that Veda calls “massive” (cause Storm’s FAT). Storm gets the boot up on the flying nothing, but HAHA, Anderson sees that coming, catches the boot, and wrenches on the leg.

Storm creates separation, frustrating Anderson. We get the clothesline double-down, teasing a count-out finish before both men are able to get to their feet at 9. Storm with the big rally, hitting an inverted atomic drop, discus clothesline and back stabber for two. Anderson flips out of a Whirly Bird and hits the Finlay Roll for two. Anderson grabs Storms’ beer bottle and pours out his last swallow. JERK. The referee demands the weapon and Anderson obliges, only to snatch the title belt from the corner, KO Storm with it, and cover for three and the title at 9:38. Post-match, Anderson continues assaulting the leg and even takes out the referee! WHAT A JERK! Will this be the last ride for Cowboy James Storm?

Final Thoughts: Why do I have the bad feeling we’ll be writing Big Vito off sooner than later? With him defying the orders of Russo, you know it’s gonna come back and bite him. We’ve paid off the tension between Caleb Konley and Jeeves, revealing that Konley is Russo’s Ch-Ch-Ch-Chosen One. We got a break from Alice Crowley as the center of attention for the Women’s Division as J-Rod is introduced with pre-existing beef with Haley J. We haven’t seen Willie Mack or 2 Tuff Tony lately, so should be interesting where they factor into things in the coming weeks… and where the hell was Coach? Did I hit the restroom and miss him somehow?