Mike Reviews WWE: Andre the Giant

Happy Friday Everyone!

I saw this DVD in CEX for a scant £3.50 and decided to give it a looksee. It’s a compilation of matches covering Andre the Giant’s career from 1976 up to 1985, as well as some interview bits also. I’m guessing that this is an old Coliseum Video that Silver Vision took and re-sold many moons later (a trip to the Scott Keith archive seems to suggest that’s correct). This DVD appears to have come out in 2005 based on the fact that the back of the box has an advert for WrestleMania 21 on it.

Most of the stuff I’ve seen of Andre is from his Heel run in the 1980’s when he was physically past his best; so I’m hopeful that I get to see the better side of his in-ring career when it comes to some of the matches included here.

Lord Alfred Hayes is hosting

We open up with Judo Al narrating footage of Andre The Giant putting a clobber on Blackjack Lanza and Stan Stasiak, two of the more notorious bruisers of their era

We then cut to Lord Alfred in the studio, with Hayes regailing us of a story of having to pick Andre up from the airport back in the 1960’s

Moondog Rex Vs Andre The Giant

This is apparently from the 1st of August 1981 in Philly at the Spectrum. Rex wrestled both in the WWF and notably in the NWA and also USWA, with the idea being that he was a rabid wild man who carried a bone to the ring. Gary Michael Cappetta is the ring announcer here, back when he used to still do WWF shows. Lord Alfred narrates over the footage, talking about how big Andre is and what Andre is like as a person, including his kindness towards small children and his hatred for rude adults (plenty of wrestlers found out about that one). Andre easily dismantles Rex and pins him with a Splash.

WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: SQUASH

Thoughts: A very effective squash match that made Andre look like a beast. He was moving really well here too compared to how he’d be later in the decade

50,000 Dollar 18 Man Battle Royal
Tito Santana vs. Mil Mascaras vs. Big John Studd vs. Pat Patterson vs. Paul Orndorff vs. Jimmy Snuka vs. Hulk Hogan vs. Sgt. Slaughter vs. The Iron Sheik vs. Andre The Giant vs. Salvatore Bellomo vs. Adrian Adonis vs. Victor Rivera vs. Dick Murdoch vs. Les Thornton vs. Alexis Smirnoff vs. Tiger Chung Lee vs. The Hangman

No date on the box but from looking at Cage Match this could have been from an event in Oakland, California on the 30th April 1984 based on the list of participants on the back of the box. Interestingly they refer to Hogan as “Hollywood Hogan” on the box, perhaps because they didn’t want to send any money Marvel’s way at the time? Gorilla Monsoon and Lord Alfred are doing the commentary for this one, with it clearly being dubbed in. There’s an impressive list of talent in this one. The action is your standard Battle Royale, with folks leaning on the ropes and trading punches. It’s an impressive visual to see all these huge people going at it in the same ring though. Slaughter gets eliminated in some form due to Iron Sheik in order to continue their feud.

The crowd is super into everything, which helps with keeping things interesting even though the majority of it is people just punching a kicking. Studd and Hogan fight outside the ring at one stage, with neither of them being eliminated. Andre gets the scalp of Mascaras at one stage, whilst Hogan gets to fling out Iron Sheik, with the crowd loving that latter elimination very much. Hogan does seem to eliminate Studd, but that allows Studd to drag him out over the top to no doubt set some matches up between them down the line. Patterson is a very effective fired up babyface, but Adonis jumps him from behind to knock him over the top and leave us with Andre against Smirnoff, Murdoch and Adonis. Andre manages to prevail despite being outnumbered though and ends up winning after throwing out Adonis last.

WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: **3/4

Thoughts: This was good fun, with some of the biggest stars in the history of wrestling going at it whilst the crowd was hot for pretty much all of it

Two Vs One Handicap Match
Black Gordman and Great Goliath Vs Andre The Giant

The back of the box suggests that this took place on the 1st December 1976, but I couldn’t find a corresponding page on Cage Match for it. Apparently fans aren’t allowed in the first row here because Andre keeps throwing his opponents outside of the ring, thus placing them in the splash zone. The referee is wearing a shirt with red stripes here, making him look like he’s about to run out for Stoke City at the old Victoria Ground. Neither Gordman or Goliath can really do anything with Andre here, even when they work together, as Andre is just too big. The crowd enjoys watching Andre throw his smaller opponents around, whilst the commentary team (uncredited sadly so I can’t mention them by name) does everything they can to put Andre over. Eventually Gordman uses an international object in order to weaken Andre a bit, but this only makes Andre mad and he locks both his opponents in a double body scissors for a “he’s so big and impressive” spot. Andre ends up throwing Goliath onto Gordman and pinning them both for three.

WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: SQUASH

Thoughts: This was a strong showcase for Andre, with his two smaller opponents doing an excellent job of being bumping buffoons in order to make him look good. There’s no way you could have watched this and not thought that Andre was a big impressive dude that you should buy a ticket to see if he was coming into your town

Three Vs One Handicap Match
Jack Evans, Johnny Rodz and Joe Butcher Nova Vs Andre The Giant

Sadly I couldn’t find a page for this on Cage Match. The Jack Evans here isn’t the same one who would wrestle for ROH and later AEW in case anyone is potentially confused. Vince McMahon is on commentary for this one. All three of Andre’s opponents are allowed into the ring with him for this one, rather than doing tags in the previous match. The enhancement guys try piling on top of Andre like they’re playing Wrestle Fest in the arcade, but Andre is of course able to survive that and shrug it off in short order. Andre stacks all three of his opponents and sits on top of the pile for a win and a big pop from the crowd

WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: SQUASH

Thoughts: It’s incredible how one man could just wallop three others like that and make it look so natural and effective, but Andre had the aura that allowed him to do stuff like that and the enhancement guys were game to make him look good, so the pieces all came together and it was an effective squash match as a result

Gorilla Monsoon w/ The Grand Wizard Vs Andre The Giant

They haven’t divulged a date for this one on the back of the box sadly. Lord Alfred apologises for the video quality here, but states that this was such an interesting curio that they simply had to include it regardless. This one is apparently taking place in Puerto Rico, and both competitors are wearing boxing gloves, so this is going to be a worked boxing match as opposed to a wrestling match. It’s clear that this isn’t on the level, but the crowd seems to be digging it at least. Eventually they give up any attempt at making this trying to look legit, as they start using non-boxing moves, with Andre even getting a sit-out senton splash at one stage. Monsoon spits something in Andre’s face at one stage, like he’s Maxx Muscle in Super Punch Out! or something, but Andre fires back with a big overhand punch and that’s enough for the knock out.

WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: N/A

Thoughts: I’ve never felt confident rating worked boxing matches (even though I’ll happily rate worked wrestling matches) but this was entertaining and the crowd got a kick out of it. Lord Alfred continuously referring to Grand Wizard as “Hugo” was weird, but I guess it was some kind of inside joke?

We get clips of Vince McMahon interviewing Jimmy Snuka and Andre The Giant, with the gist being that The Wild Samoan’s are mean islanders whilst Snuka is a nice one (real-life would like to interject on that argument of course)

The Wild Samoans (Afa and Sika) Vs Andre The Giant and Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka

The Bloodline Explodes! This is apparently from Madison Square Garden on the 18th of February 1983. Gorilla Monsoon and Vince McMahon are doing the commentary. The general storyline here is that the crowd really wants to see Andre destroy Afa and Skika, so they try and delay it as long as possible in order to generate the maximum crowd reaction for when Andre makes it into the ring. Snuka sells well enough whilst getting worked over in the Samoan corner, with The Wild Samoans sticking to mostly strikes and illegal double teaming. Interestingly, Fijian heads appear to be a bit harder than Samoan ones though, as Snuka is able to no-sell a Samoan head butt at one stage.

Andre eventually gets the hot tag and the crowd goes nuts as the Giant runs wild, with Afa and Sika happy to bump around and sell for him in order to get the hot tag segment over. Andre is moving a bit slower here than in some of the other matches, but The Wild Samoan’s offset that somewhat but feeding into Andre’s path so that they’re in perfect position for him to just hammer away at them. Snuka ends up doing the Superfly Splash off of Andre’s shoulders and that’s the three count as the crowd loses their minds.

WINNERS: ANDRE & SNUKA
RATING: ***

Thoughts: This was good tag team wrestling, with Snuka selling and selling until it was finally time for the Andre hot tag, at which point Andre destroyed the Heels and the babyfaces won, with Snuka getting to deliver the finishing move in order to make up for getting beaten up so much in the match itself. The Wild Samoans knew exactly what their role was here and delivered it to their fullest, riling up the crowd by clobbering Snuka until it was time for the big angry giant to give them a right proper kicking. Good stuff!

The Masked Superstar Vs Andre The Giant

Superstar would eventually go on to become Demolition Ax. This is from the 20th February 1984 at Madison Square Garden. Gorilla Monsoon and Pat Patterson are doing the commentary. This is your standard “Heel wrestles babyface Andre and doesn’t know what to do with him” match, with very little of Superstar’s offence leaving a dent in Andre whilst the crowd has fun watching the rule breaker take a clobbering from the beloved fan favourite. Andre is clearly starting to struggle a bit here, as he does a drop down when Superstar runs the ropes and is very laboured in getting back up, but his star aura covers for it somewhat. Superstar manages to get a bit of offence in when he blocks an Andre body tackle in the corner with a knee to the back/mid-section, leading to Andre selling a Cobra Clutch down on the mat for a bit. Andre sells it well and eventually gets Superstar to let go of the hold by going after his mask. Andre makes the comeback following that and gets the sit-out senton splash for three.

WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: **

Thoughts: This was fine for what it was, which was Andre essentially doing a bit of a comedy match in the early going where the Heel got frustrated at being outfoxed by the Giant, before they did a little bit of heat and built to Andre taking it more seriously from that point onwards. Andre’s physical limitations were starting to become a bit more pronounced, but this was still an okay match and delivered entertainment for the crowd

Andre tries to remove Superstar’s mask again following the bout, but the Superstar flees and keeps his identity secret (although once he started speaking in his Sean Dyche styled gravelly voice the jig would have been up regardless)

Big John Studd and Ken Patera w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan Vs Andre The Giant and Special Delivery Jones

The box says that this happened on the 15th of December 1984 but Cage Match seems to think it happened on the 13th November 1984 and then aired on the 1st December 1984. Vince McMahon and Bruno Sammartino are handling commentary for this one. The crowd heat for this one is fantastic whenever the babyface duo are on top, with the action being mostly punch-kick. Patera sends Jones to the floor, which leads to Studd and Patera working Andre over in the ring for the DQ.

WINNERS BY DQ: ANDRE THE GIANT & SD JONES
RATING: N/A

Thoughts: Too short to rate, but the big thing this is remembered for is the post-match anyway, as the Heels beat down Andre and then cut his hair, leading to the fans getting furious and Vince McMahon to say that they are raping Andre of their dignity. Must…fight…urge…to make…legally actionable…comment

Andre goes on Tuesday Night Titans with Vince McMahon and Lord Alfred to talk about how he’s looking for revenge on Studd before sending us to the next match

Revenge of the Giant
Ken Patera w/ Bobby Heenan Vs Andre The Giant

This one supposedly took place on the 21st January 1985 from Madison Square Garden. Andre is of course looking for payback on Patera here for the previously mentioned haircut. Mean Gene Okerlund and Gorilla Monsoon are doing the commentary. Both Patera and Heenan take their share of pratfalls in this one, with the crowd loudly cheering every time Andre gets to wallop one or both of them. Patera enters a great performance as a Heel who knows he’s bitten off far more than he can chew with this angry giant, whilst Andre shows good intensity whenever he can get his hands on his hated rival. It’s a good way of getting around Andre’s physical limitations at the time, as Patera and Heenan both do the bumping whilst Andre just focuses on holding the middle of the ring and unleashing pain whenever he can, and the crowd loves all of it. Eventually Heenan climbs into the ring and attacks Andre with brass knuckles for the DQ.

WINNER BY DQ: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: **3/4

Thoughts: Solid revenge match booking there, as Andre dished out plenty of punishment on the Heels, who bumped all over the place to disguise the fact that Andre couldn’t really do much physically. The DQ finish was lame, but it left something on the table for rematches as Andre could still strive for a pin/submission victory over his enemy, perhaps with a stipulation of some kind attached, which was almost certainly going to drum up interest when it came to purchasing tickets (although I’m not sure if that was ever the case in regards to Patera due to his legal woes interrupting things)

The angry giant rallies following the match and lays a whupping on both Patera and Heenan whilst the crowd cheers along. A fine piece of business

We head back to Tuesday Night Titans for the big hype job for WrestleMania 1, with Andre throttling Vince at one stage when Vince notes that Bobby Heenan wants Andre to put his career on the line

Luchas de Apuestas
$15,000 Body Slam Challenge
Andre must retire if he loses
Big John Studd w/ Bobby “The Brain” Heenan Vs Andre The Giant

This is from WrestleMania 1. The version on the DVD has special commentary from Michael Cole and Tazz so that they don’t have to give any money to Jesse Ventura for royalties. Cole and Tazz do a decent job in fairness to them, but it would be better to have the original audio. Studd isn’t a high level bumper like Patera, so this match is a lot more of a slog in comparison to the previous bout we just watched. It’s mostly two lads slowly throwing strikes and grabbing one another, like a Klitschko boxing fight. The Giant eventually delivers some leg kicks and the Body Slam follows for the win.

WINNER: ANDRE THE GIANT
RATING: *

Thoughts: Pretty rubbish match to be honest, although I did like the build-up to the finish as the leg kicks put Studd on the defensive and left him open to the slam

Andre throws some of the money into the crowd following that until Heenan grabs the bag and flees with it, possibly because there actually isn’t $15,000 in there. I do like the symbolism though of Andre giving the money to the people, as that wasn’t really the motivation for him, he just wanted revenge

In Conclusion:

Considering the price I paid for it; I think I more than got my money’s worth for this DVD. They either showed footage from matches where Andre could still go or mostly booked him against good workers who could cover for his physical limitations, with only really the Studd match being what I’d call actively bad. It was disappointing that the DVD had no special features or anything, as you’d think they could have added a couple of more matches to it that way, but for a budget 2005 re-release of a budget 1995 release, this DVD wasn’t half bad

Mildly recommended