Mike Reviews ECW It Ain’t Seinfeld

Happy Extreme Friday Everyone!

We have ECW It Ain’t Seinfeld today, named as such because the show was taking place during the Seinfeld finale. I must confess that I haven’t really watched Seinfeld before, but it’s nice to know why the show has the name it does because it would always confuse me whenever I’d see it on the shelf at HMV back in the day.

We’ve got The Dudley Family taking on Tommy Dreamer and his extreme friends in the Main Event here, in what would be a bit of a dress rehearsal for the Main Event of Heat Wave 1998. Elsewhere we’ve got Rob Van Dam Vs Mikey Whipwreck and Justin Credible Vs Jerry Lynn, with the latter likely to be good because it usually is when those two go at it.

You can view the full card by clicking below;

ECW It Ain’t Seinfeld Card

It Ain’t Seinfeld is emanating from the Lost Battalion Hall (and it’s cool Fire Pro Wrestling styled hard camera set-up) in New York City, New York on the 14th of May 1998

Calling the action is Joey Styles

Opening Match
Justin Credible w/ Chastity & Jason Vs “Dynamic” Jerry Lynn

These two had a lot of matches together in 1998 and they were often very good, so I’m hopeful that is the case with this one. These two know exactly what sort of crowd they’re working for with this one, as they work a high tempo opening section, with Lynn knocking Credible into the front row and then following with a dive off the apron out there to pop the crowd. Credible catches Lynn with a reverse DDT OUTTA NOWHERE back inside the ring though, and that’s the cut off. We of course get a chair involved during the heat, with Credible doing the Raven drop-toe-hold spot onto it at one stage, as I think they were going for a similar “disaffected youth” character with Credible in the early days and the two characters would eventually clash when Raven returned to ECW in 1999.

Lynn sells well whilst getting worked over whilst Credible’s offence looks good and he makes sure to rile up the crowd as and when he can. Credible misses another chair attack though, which allows Lynn to give Credible a bulldog onto the chair for a two count. The Raven comparisons continue, with Credible’s lackies attacking Lynn in order to prevent him from gaining any momentum, but Credible still can’t put Lynn away. Credible takes too long trying to finish off Lynn with the That’s Incredible (Tombstone Piledriver) and that allows Lynn to counter it into a Piledriver of his own for the three count after around 10 Minutes as the crowd goes nuts.

WINNER: JERRY LYNN
RATING: ***1/4

Thoughts: This was good fun, as they worked it at a quick clip and the crowd was invested in all of it. This was definitely the sort of match that a newcomer to ECW could watch and enjoy, as it worked in just enough extreme stuff with the chair spots to make it feel different from what WCW and the WWF were doing in “regular” matches, whilst still following the standard match structure so as not to alienate any new viewers. Credible was clearly a Heel and Lynn was clearly a babyface, and they did the shine -> heat-> comeback structure that most wrestling fans would understand and look for, but did it with the usual ECW flavour. 10 Minutes was the perfect run-time too, as it would have been less satisfying had it been shorter but they would have missed the peak if they went longer, so 10 Minutes was the metaphorical third bowl of porridge

Match Two
Sabu w/ Bill Alfonso Vs Danny Doring

Sabu was coming off a feud with The Sandman and was doing the “tag partners who hate one another” thing with Rob Van Dam. Despite ostensibly being a Heel here, the fans are into Sabu just because they want to see him destroy someone, and that someone looks to be poor Doring. Sabu does the usual spots, such as leaping off a chair onto Doring in the corner, and just outright flinging the chair at his young opponent at one stage. Doring is basically just a tackle dummy for Sabu to throw around, although Styles does try and get Doring over by pushing the idea that he’s tough and won’t back down despite getting walloped so badly here. Doring tries a body press to the floor at one stage, but Sabu basically just ignores it and Doring grazes him before thudding onto the floor. Sabu puts Doring through a table at ringside with an elbow drop following that, as the crowd goes radio rental for it all. Arabian Facebuster follows and the Camel Clutch ends it after 4 Minutes.

WINNER: SABU
RATING: SQUASH

Thoughts: This was there just to make Sabu look like a violent nutter that you should be very worried about, and it worked in that regard. It helped that Sabu hit pretty much all of his spots too, so it was a very effective way of getting him over, with Doring doing an okay job as the human sacrifice for the extreme star

Match Three
“No Gimmicks Needed” Chris Candido w/ Francine Vs Jamie Dundee

Candido was part of the Triple Threat with Shane Douglas and Bam Bam Bigelow at the time. Dundee is one half of PG13, and they popped in to ECW now and then. Dundee decides that he’s going to play the Heel in this one, as he comes out and insults the crowd with standard Memphis insults, such as implying that the mother of someone in the crowd had an affair with Dumbo, because he has such big ears. Someone in the balcony actually moons Dundee at one stage, with Dundee seeming to have to stifle a laugh as possibly even he didn’t expect that kind of response. Dundee seemingly delivers one of the words that they can’t even say in ECW when it comes to a part of Francine’s body.

What’s weird though is that, after cutting a pretty visceral Heel promo on everyone in the building, Dundee then does a babyface shine with arm drags and the like, which doesn’t seem to match the pre-match we just witnessed. Candido then cuts Dundee off and works a babyface heat segment, which is a weird way to structure a bout but it does have some nice work in it, including a smooth leg drop from the second rope from Candido at one stage. The crowd likes Candido but they are mostly interested in seeing Francine display her flowery baps for them all, something she of course declines to do.

Dundee ends up making the Heel comeback, getting a Tope Suicida out onto Candido at one stage. Candido fires back with a Superplex back inside the ring though and gets an impressive diving headbutt where he leaps about 3/4 across the ring for the three count, as this oddly structured bout comes to a conclusion after 6 Minutes.

WINNER: CHRIS CANDIDO
RATING: **

Thoughts: This was a very weirdly structured match, with the Heel doing the shine and the babyface working the heat, but the actual wrestling within it was decent at least and the crowd liked Candido, so it had enough going for it that it wasn’t a bust

Match Four
The Full Blooded Italians (Little Guido and Tracy Smothers) w/ Tommy Rich Vs Super Nova and The Blue Meanie

FBI were the main comedy tag team on the Heel side whilst Nova and Meanie were their babyface equivalents, leading to many a comedy match over the course of 1998. This one is quite fun, as Smothers and Guido are solid workers who play bumbling Heels well, whilst Meanie and Nova are popular with the crowd and work to them well. We of course have the dance-off between the two teams, which gives Smothers a chance to show off his slick moves, followed by Meanie doing his wacky dance for a pop. Even referee John Finnegan gets involved with the dancing, as this is genuinely quite entertaining.

Things then get even more ridiculous, as The FBI tries to bully Finnegan for dancing, so he replies with a double clothesline and some hip tosses as the crowd ERUPTS. Wacky as that was, you can’t say that it didn’t get over with the crowd, and I guess that’s the point at the end of the day. Jim Cornette would try and box the referee sometimes in Midnight Express matches and that was always entertaining. Eventually Tommy Rich attacks Nova out on the floor and that’s the cut off, leading to The FBI working the heat segment.

The heat segment doesn’t go on for that long, but Nova sells everything well and The FBI look good on offence, so it’s an effective segment overall and the crowd gets behind Nova to make the hot tag. Meanie eventually gets the tag and runs wild, even delivering some dropkicks in the process. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not the greatest dropkicks you’ll ever see, but they’re decent for a guy Meanie’s size. Heel referee Judge Jones gets involved to try and help The FBI, but Finnegan takes him out with a DDT and Nova gets the Novocaine on Guido for the three count after 8 Minutes.

WINNERS: MEANIE & NOVA
RATING: ***

Thoughts: I’ll probably get some side-eye for that rating; but this was a whole lot of fun, with even the often cynical ECW fans getting into the silliness of it all. A decent mixture of comedy and solid wrestling in this humble scribe’s opinion

Match Five
Lance T. Storm Vs Balls Mahoney

Storm was both tagging with and hating Chris Candido at the time, with Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten being the main team opposing them for their ECW World Tag Team Titles. Storm was using “Thunderstruck” as entrance music here, which didn’t really suit him that much but makes sense considering his name. Joey notes on commentary that Storm and Candido are being forced to defend the belts otherwise they’ll be fired, which is actually a storyline Paul Heyman would recycle during the SmackDown Six Era with Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. Indeed, tag team partners who hate each other but are still able to win is very much a trope that Paul Heyman liked to rely on quite a lot during his booking career. It’s an interesting look at Heyman’s world view I guess, whereby even if we hate one another we can still achieve great things if we put our differences aside for a common goal. Or maybe I’m just looking too deeply into things and Paul just forgot that he used this trope so much due to all the recreational drugs he allegedly was enjoying at the time?

This match is the first instance here on It Ain’t Seinfeld of the crowd not playing along with the script, as they start chanting “boring” as the two do a decent wrestling sequence to start. Balls takes the fight to the floor following that, which leads to the crowd wanting blood, which isn’t something you saw much of in Storm matches as he was usually there to do good wrestling and left the bloody bouts to the resident brawlers of the promotion, which was totally fine as variety is the spice of life. Balls controls things outside the ring for the most part whilst Storm does better when it’s a straight wrestling match back in the ring, which is a clever way to structure the stylistic battle here and both wrestler plays their respective role well. Each competitor has a chance to win it, with the near falls being executed well. Storm actually hits Balls with a decent looking chair shot at one stage (in that it looks like contact is made but it also looks like Storm pulled it somewhat in order to take care of his opponent, which is exactly how you’re supposed to do this stuff). Balls shrugs that off, but Storm is able to dropkick the chair into Balls’ face soon after and that’s enough for three after 8 Minutes.

WINNER: LANCE STORM
RATING: **1/2

Thoughts: The crowd didn’t seem to care for that one much, but I thought it was a totally fine Brawler Vs Wrestler bout, with each competitor knowing what their role was and playing it well. I think the ECW fans were just rejecting Storm’s babyface run and a well-timed Heel turn for him not-too-soon after this nipped those issues in the bud

Joey Styles is in the ring for the Hardcore TV open, but Taz arrives before he can finish, much to Joey’s alarm. Joey crossing himself in fear was pretty funny and timed well by him. Taz is here because he’s sick of Shane Douglas refusing to defend the ECW World Title against him. Thus, Taz has his own belt, the FTW belt, which stands for “Fudge The World” (well, something ruder than fudge, but you get my drift). I know some think the FTW belt was kind of lame, but I think it had potential as a storytelling device and as a holdover for Taz until they finally put the World Title on him. The problem is that Taz didn’t actually get his shot at Shane Douglas until January 1999, and the FTW belt was still something being wrestled for in March 1999. By that point it had gone on for too long and did start to feel a bit over the hill as a concept. If they’d been able to put the World Title on Taz at November to Remember 1998 in some kind of “unification” match with Douglas, after which the FTW belt went away, I think it might have been remembered a bit more fondly. Anyway, Bam Bam Bigelow joins Taz and Joey in the ring to remind us all that he defeated Taz for the TV Title back at Living Dangerously 1998. The New York fans remind New Jersey native Bigelow that they don’t like his hometown, whilst Bigelow says that Taz will not get a match with Shane Douglas until Taz can get through him. This leads to a well-executed pull-apart brawl between the two, where a referee actually gets thrown into the crowd at one stage. This was all leading to Heat Wave 1998, where Taz finally defeated Bigelow on route to eventually fighting Douglas

Match Six
ECW World Television Title
Champ: “Mr. Monday Night” Rob Van Dam w/ Bill Alfonso Vs Mikey Whipwreck

RVD was about a month into his near two year run with the belt here. RVD dominates the early exchanges, with Mikey doing his usual good job of being one of those crash test dummies from the seatbelt safety videos. Whenever Mikey is allowed some offence of his own; it usually looks decent, including his signature Leg Sweep into the metal railings at ringside, although RVD usually regains the initiative soon after. This was actually before the Frogsplash was RVD’s finisher, so he delivers it to Mikey here but instead just mugs for the camera and thw bout continues like it was a flashy transition move.

Deciding to make that as a finishing move was a smart idea, as it’s always looked great and it was much more impressive that the Split-Legged-Moonsault that RVD was using instead at the time. RVD uses some of Sabu’s mannerisms in the match, continuing the storyline of them not getting along despite ostensibly being allies. RVD’s cocky Heel mannerisms are really good here and you can see how combining those with his high impact offence helped get him over. Mikey is finally allowed to get a bit of a flurry with some chair based offence, with RVD taking some nice bumps for it.

However, Alfonso gets involved and that allows RVD to give Mikey a Van Daminator before setting Mikey up on a table. Sabu sprints down to steal RVD’s thunder though, putting Mikey through the table himself, and that leads to a rare non-finish in ECW, as Sabu and Chris Candido work together to put a beating on RVD, seeing as they’ll be teaming against RVD and Lance Storm at the ECW Arena soon. Speaking of Storm; he runs down to help his future tag team partner, and that gives us all four scrapping until the locker room empties to break it up. The match went about 11 Minutes until it was thrown out.

NO CONTEST (RVD RETAINS)
RATING: **3/4

Thoughts: I wasn’t crazy about the non-finish, but the match itself was a good showcase of RVD’s offence and gimmick, with Mikey taking great bumps for it all and RVD getting his cocky character over whilst beating poor Mikey up. It would have been a better match overall had it been more competitive, but it worked for what it was and the post-match brawling set up the Matter of Respect 98 tag team match well. It Ain’t Seinfeld is more of a TV taping than a standalone show, so you have to expect more of a focus on angles to build to future shows, and this was a good angle in order to get people excited in the Sabu/Candido Vs RVD/Storm tag match. The live crowd didn’t really boo the non-finish and instead just enjoyed the chaos that followed the match, so I think you have to say that it was successful in what it aimed to achieve

Match Seven
“The Beast From The East” Bam Bam Bigelow Vs Axl Rotten

Rotten is in the Doring/Dundee/Mikey role here of being a sacrificial lamb for the bigger star, as Bigelow clubs away on Rotten and shrugs off some chair shots before winning it with the Greetings From Asbury Park after 1 Minute.

WINNER: BIGELOW
RATING: SQUASH

Thoughts: Not much of a match, but it was there to give Bigelow a win on his path to a match with Taz, so it served it’s purpose

Main Event
The Dudley Boyz (Buh-Buh Ray, D-Von and Big Dick) w/ Joel Gertner and Sign Guy Dudley Vs Tommy Dreamer, The Sandman and Little Spike Dudley

There’s still just over 45 Minutes left on the show as The Dudleyz make their way to the ring, which means it’s going to be one of THOSE matches I guess. And indeed, The Dudleyz spend an inordinate amount of time insulting the crowd and doing general mic work before the opening bell even rings. The fans fill the ring with garbage during all of this, as even ECW has to censor some of the lines that Buh-Buh is throwing at the crowd due to how obscene it is. This strikes me as something that would be far more enjoyable to experience live in person rather than watching on a tape, because you could at least get involved and have some fun with it that way. A fan actually climbs down from the balcony at one stage and makes it to ringside, but the big security dudes are there to prevent anything from happening, and even if the lad had made it to the ring I don’t he would have achieved anything as Big Dick could have probably used him as a toothpick. Once we get to the end of The Dudleyz and Gertner spiel we then get Sandman’s entrance, as this is becoming like a modern WWE show with all the filler before a match actually starts.

Sandman’s beer gut was getting especially bulbous during this period, but he slimmed down and got off the sauce for his WCW run, and he was never really this overweight again even when he headed back to ECW in 1999. Sandman and Dreamer managed to defeat The Dudleyz back at Wrestlepalooza 1998 thanks to Spike getting involved, so this time they’ve decided to just add Spike to the match officially. We must be getting to the end of Beulah’s run here, as by the time the August 1998 pay per view came around she was gone and wouldn’t show up alongside Dreamer again until the One Night Stand pay per view in 2005. Beulah of course has beer poured on her chest during the entrance, because ECW, and after nearly 20 minutes of promos and entrances, we officially get the start of the match. Goodness me, that was bordering on becoming an ordeal at points.

D-Von and Dreamer actually try and do some wrestling to start, but this is all building to a wild brawl eventually and everyone deep down knows that. That all being said; D-Von and Dreamer’s stuff actually looks okay in a “these two shouldn’t really be doing technical wrestling, but they’re kind of making it work” way. Spike gets a chance to show that he could actually work and wasn’t just a bump machine as well, as he and Buh-Buh do a decent bit together. Si this all means that the pairings have worked out in such a manner that we now get to see Big Dick and Sandman go at it, which isn’t a pairing I’m automatically excited to see, but it’s no where near as bad as you’d expect. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not GOOD, but it’s okay for two career brawlers trying to do a little bit of actual wrestling. Sadly the fans start chanting for New Jack because they’re tyring of this not being a brawl, at which point all six wrestlers smartly head to the floor and the brawl begins.

At least they didn’t start this one as a brawl and then turn it into a normal tag match, and instead started it as a normal match before THEN going into the brawl, which makes a lot more sense as a match structure. The brawl section of the match is totally fine, with the crowd responding to it well, especially when Beulah gets involved for a quadruple Tree of Woe dropkick to the face spot, with Sign Guy being the member of The Dudley entourage to get a chair kicked into his face. This leads to Gertner challenging Beulah to a fight, which goes about as well for him as you’d expect, with Joey of course getting the requisite gag about Gertner’s size in there. Gertner’s cowardly facial expressions where very funny there I’ll give him that. Big Dick ends up hitting Spike with a sit-out Tree Slam following that and that’s the three count after 23 Minutes.

WINNERS: THE DUDLEYZ
RATING: **1/2

Thoughts: From the start of The Dudleyz’s entrance onwards, this match was about 30 Minutes of waiting for them to make it to the fireworks factory, and after a few false alarms they finally headed there, at which point the match became an entertaining wild brawl with a few comedy spots worked in as well

New Jack of course makes an appearance once the match is over to help out the babyfaces, leading to The Dudleyz getting clobbered with a collection of weaponry, including a scarecrow by the looks of things. I’m sure it was an “extreme” scarecrow of some kind, in that it didn’t as much scare crow’s away but just write them cheques that wouldn’t clear

In Conclusion:

It Ain’t Seinfeld was a pretty easy watch. There was a good Credible Vs Lynn match, I found FBI Vs Nova and Meanie quite entertaining, and the show mostly moved along at a pretty breezy pace (although all the pre-match gaga prior to the Main Event got a bit obnoxious after a certain point)

There are much better ECW shows from 1998 that you can watch instead of It Ain’t Seinfeld, but if you do happen to watch it then there should be enough to keep you entertained for 2 hours and 15 Minutes

Mildly recommended show