Hulk Hogan vs. Dusty Rhodes (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! This week, I clear out another of those “Dusty Rhodes in Japan” matches, as he faces HULK HOGAN way back in 1980! Come see two of the legendary bleach-blond guys duke it out in a foreign country! Next up is Maffew-inspired, as I find an NWA Dallas match between Tony Norris (the future Ahmed Johnson) and Big John Hawk (the future Bradshaw)! A weapon in each corner and a swerve after the bell!

After a long time, I finally check another “Yokozuna in 1991 Mexico” match as Kokina teams up with Samoano I (Solafa Fatu) & El Canek against Mil Mascaras, Dos Caras & Villano III in a Trios Match! Then my look at PWI 500s past leads to 2001’s Pepper Parks… who turns out to be THE BLADE. So he actually made something of himself, and in 2001 HWA takes on WCW’s Jamie Knoble, still the Cruiserweight Champion. Then I pull two random names off the list of guys who interested me, as Wolfgang Danger takes on JR Kratos in a 2018 podunk indie!

DUSTY RHODES vs. HULK HOGAN:
(New Japan Pro Wrestling, Sept. 12th 1980)
* DUSTY vs. HOGAN!! Back when Dusty was in his prime and Hogan was rising up the ranks in various countries- his size, presence and charisma earning him a ton of money and putting dollar signs in the eyes of every promoter who saw him. Both are in black trunks, with Dusty only somewhat plump compared to his late ’80s self, with a much younger Hogan not having lost all the hair on the top of his head yet.

Dusty pops the fans by doing one of his little silly arm-flutters, and when Hogan’s second push into the corner has him missing a punch, he pops the bionic elbow on him, sending Hogan into a shit fit after a great flopping sell-job. Dusty keeps teasing agreeing to Hogan’s test of strength then pulling his hand away to amuse the fans again- when they finally lock up, Dusty responds to Hogan’s kicks with his own, and ANOTHER elbow sends Hogan into the corner again. He puts on a headlock (“ask him referee or I’m gonna rip it off!”), Dusty fighting out by going to the leg and twisting. Hogan works him over after a dirty break and a slam/kneedrop gets two.

Dusty excites the fans with some boxing jabs, then whips Hogan into a back-elbow/elbowdrop for two, but Hogan proves to be a master of counter-wrestling but punching him through he uprights. He denies it to the ref and hits some punches & a jumping knee, dropping Dusty off of each strike, but Dusty counters a whip and slams him & fires off elbows until Hogan fires back and hits the Legdrop, Dusty rolling to the floor. Hogan whips him into the post and hits the ring for some posing & flexing, but a bloodied Dusty pulls him out and beats on him on the floor, hits another Bionic Elbow.. and charges into a boot. Hogan lights him up and even hangs him in the tree of woe and starts punching him in the face, but Dusty flops down and lands more jabs- Flip Flop & Fly! But the ref keeps getting shoved off so you know the end is coming- Hogan whips him down while they slug it out, and that’s the Japan Fuck Finish Disqualification at (9:13). Dusty scores another back elbow and looks like a huge badass as Hogan rolls out and flees.

A fun brawl! Kept very simple, but Hogan being a complete dick and Dusty firing back on him with brawling was a great meshing of stuff and it was way more energetic than a lot of “Dusty in Japan” stuff I’ve seen. Hogan would hit some brawling moves and fight dirty, then flex to show everyone how prideful he was- a big no-no anywhere, but especially in Japan, and Dusty’s great at that kind of “serious-faced brawling” in response to heel antics- always acting like he needs to teach someone a lesson. The crowd was pretty into his jab combos and other brawling here, the blood made it look more interesting, and the traditional New Japan Fuck Finish was the only drawback.

Rating: **1/2 (a fun little match between two guys who knew how to keep it simple and do easy storytelling for the fans)

FOUR CORNERS OF DOOM MATCH:
“THE REGULATOR” TONY NORRIS (w/ Sam Houston) vs. BIG JOHN HAWK (w/ Gen. Skandar Akbar):
(NWA Dallas, April 11th 1995)
* Maffew gave me the idea for this one! Apparently it was an “Observer Newsletter Classic” back in the day? Given it’s 1995 Ahmed vs. JBL I have issues believing it, BUT WE’LL SEE! Tony’s in white tights (not the worst look for him) while Hawk’s in black trunks I think. The video transfer is TERRIBLE and some of it’s shot like a fancam but close-up. I believe the match is “a weapon in every corner”.

We start off Joined In Progress with Tony using a cowbell on Hawk’s head in one corner, then hits him with a baseball bat in the other. Norris headbutts Hawk down as the commentator mixes up their names, and Hawk starts bleeding. A clothesline gets two, then the cowbell does. A big leaping clothesline has Hawk curled over in some pretty good selling, but he still kicks out. Norris, looking pretty exhausted, ducks his head early and gets flung back in a desperation move, Hawk stumbling into the corner to buy himself some time. He throws some boots until he’s ready to go, but puts HIS down early and gets clubbed and Norris pulls out ROLLING GERMANS (!!!), just hauling him up every time for another one- much slower than the traditional version but it looks more real and impactful, actually. Not that I would want a blown-up Ahmed doing that to me. Norris pulls out the Tiger Driver, but is too beaten down to capitalize, missing an elbow. Hawk throws a boot but stumbles into the corner to sell, Norris squashing him with a clothesline and a schoolboy gets the pin at (4:40). Well that was anticlimactic. Not even a heat segment off missing the elbow? Hawk just walks to the corner and eats a transition move and that’s it?

And now Houston, an “insurance policy” to protect Norris from Akbar’s interference, unties a pipe from the corner and tosses it PAST Norris, right into John Hawk’s hands! SWERVE! Hawk beats down Norris with the pipe, Akbar adds a few shots, and Norris bleeds, but after recovering a bit on the floor, he drops Hawk with a clothesline and collapses as the heels quit the scene. Post-match, Houston tells the people he doesn’t owe them an explanation for his actions… then of course explains his actions (these two in his corner can give him a title shot).

Looked like the back half of an exhausting match, as both guys were slowed and selling. The weapon shots were pretty soft and barely played into the finish, making it look weird, and the finish was odd, but I guess meant to set up future stuff Norris was definitely bringing the MOVEZ, however, especially for a guy his size in 1995- Misawa’s finisher and a Chris Benoit/Candy Okutsu spot.

Rating: ** (really all we got was barely a match and who knows what it took to get them this tired and beaten down already? The post-match was fun)

EL CANEK, KOKINA & SAMOANO I vs. MIL MASCARAS, DOS CARAS & VILLANO III:
(UWA, 1991)
* WILD. Not only is it another match with Yokozuna as a mere 300+ lb. guy teaming up with his cousin Fatu (Rikishi), but their partner is lucha legend Canek and they’re taking on a murderer’s row of other legends- Mil Mascaras, his brother Dos Caras (“two faces”) and Villano III, probably the best of the Villano clan (but don’t quote me). Both Samoans are in black “Samoan gear”, Canek’s in yellow with aquamarine undies, Mascaras is in black and gold, Caras is in aquamarine & Villano III’s in purple and pink.

PRIMERA CAIDA: The technicos attack to start, easily bouncing around their giant Samoan opposition while Villano III splats trying to DDT Canek on the floor. In-ring, VIII flips Canek and hits a clothesline & DDT. Fatu (called “Solafa Fatu” by commentary, in fact) & Caras slam each other, but Mil runs in to clothesline Fatu down and a double-team puts Kokina on his prodigious ass. Canek bumps off Villano III again and might be hurt because they just tangle up in the corner while Mascaras hits a flying crossbody to pin Fatu, then Canek gets his mask ripped off and hides on the floor while Villano refuses to give the mask back. I guess the technicos win (5:58)?

SEGUNDA CAIDA: Everyone dicks around for ages and Canek finally gets his mask back on, but Villano keeps tearing at it- the Samoans beat on Mascaras but surprise surprise, he effortlessly dodges Kokina and beats them both down. Canek whiffs a spinkick that Villano sells anyways, then hits a shoudlerbreaker & legdrop, but pulls him up at “2”, then Kokina easily squashes Caras with a legdrop for three. Canek finishes Villano with a press-slam into a shitty backbreaker for three (2:30).

TERCERA CAIDA: Fatu clotheslines Villano and beats on him, then a hilarious bit sees VIII go for a DDT, but Fatu’s unaware of the spot so he has to be dragged all the way down, barely tapping his head on the mat. VIII sorta hangs on to save the spot, then Fatu does a flat-face version of the DDT bump and rolls out. Kokina actually loses a test of strength to DOS CARAS and gets his fingers stomped, but uses his agility to dodge a dropkick. A big fat elbow misses and he gets dropkicked down, but comes back with a rainmaker and… Canek refuses to come in and fight. This match is weird. A headbutt sees Caras roll out, and Mascaras wins a criss-cross with a leaping headbutt to Canek for two. Both miss leaping attacks and end up on the floor so the other 4 go at it- the technicos beat on Fatu and Kokina comes charging in and of course SQUASHES his partner when they move, but he immediately trips VIII and mounts him in missionary-sex position with Villano’s legs in the air- oh man don’t pin him like THAT. Fatu schoolboys Dos Caras at the same time for the win at (3:46).

Oh good heavens, don’t pin a guy like THAT.

hahaha I never know what to expect with lucha- 20-minute TV segments which can be some of the laziest, softest stuff possible with dudes getting pinned by 2-3 moves per fall, like some crazy opposite of modern AEW- an Inverse Kyile Fletcher Match. This was all SO soft and dudes just flat-backed to get pinned off the weakest stuff (Kokina pinned Villano just by tripping and mounting him with no impact), but Kokina was good to bump around (ironically doing the best of all six guys). I was hoping to get a view of Caras, of whom I’ve seen very little, but he was the worst for “come in and immediately fall over to lose”. Villano seemed mostly okay. The others didn’t get up to much, but there were some miscommunication errors.

Rating: *1/2 (just a very feather-light match with weak falls)

THIS WEEK’S PWI #500: THE BLADE (aka Pepper Parks, Braxton Sutter, Jesse Guilmette, Jesse Guyver):
#500 appearance: 2001 (#500 in 2001, #463 in 2006, #256 in 2008, #248 in 2009, #294 in 2010, #303 in 2011, #299 in 2012, #275 in 2013, #249 in 2014, #232 in 2015, #159 in 2016, #139 in 2017, #218 in 2018, #229 in 2019, #313 in 2020, #454 in 2022)

-haha okay so this “Pepper Parks” dude turned out to be THE BLADE, infamous AEW jobber (where Jim Ross hilariously hadn’t been vetted on the new hires so was like “WHO?” along with the entire fanbase when they debuted by tearing through the ring, Excalibur acting like everyone should just know them and be impressed, never once explaining their significance). As Parks, he debuted all the way back in 2000 as another Les Thatcher trainee, which explains why he was so aggressively mediocre in when he made AEW TV nearly twenty years later. Truth be told, though, he looks AMAZING for 45 (*looks down at stomach in shame*) and is probably the most successful #500 guy outside of Duke Droese and his 2-3 year WWF run.

JAMIE KNOBLE vs. PEPPER PARKS (w/ Brock Guffman):
(Heartland Wrestling Association, Oct. 13th 2001)
* THE BLADE vs. JAMIE NOBLE, BOY!!! What a Dream Match! This is a non-title match in HWA (where OVW also tapes its stuff), and Knoble is the current HWA Cruiserweight Champion. This match is non-title. Parks is in long black tights and has his hair in pigtails, openly evoking fellow Canadian Chris Jericho from a few years prior. No beard yet. oh wait he’s acting deliberately flamboyant & gay, so he’s evoking LENNY LANE. Uh yeah, that’s not gonna work out. Knoble’s in blue tights. The theme songs are “Another One Bites the Dust” and “Back in Black”, which is very “early 2000s indies”.

They trade decent arm stuff to start, Knoble beating Parks down in the corner but getting headscissored and taking some stomps, too. Knoble intercepts a charge with a clothesline and repeatedly fails a backdrop suplex, Parks riding him to the mat and hitting La Majistral for two. Knoble counters a sleeper to that backdrop for a double-down. Knoble spins him into a jaw-jacker but Parks superkicks him for two. Back elbow, dropkick & an inverted DDT-to-legdrop get two, but Knoble counters another headscissors with a Superduperplex for two. Mike Sanders comes out to distract Knoble, but he counters a rollup with another for two, then Parks schoolboys him… for three at (4:13). Wait, why do the distraction if he’s gonna kick out and then just get pinned by another flash-pin anyways? Seemed like a very nice short little match- Parks is obviously completely trained if he’s having matches this good one year into the business, as everything was tight and slick, with no hesitation. Les Thatcher must be GOOD. I mean the match wasn’t phenomenal but was fast and tight.

Rating: ** (a very solid little TV match)

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: WOLFGANG DANGER (aka Wolf Danger):
#500 appearance: None (#498 in 2014 & 2016)

-A scrawny, harmless-looking weenie, Wolfgang Danger appears to have had a short career in the 2010s, wrestling in California (Supreme Pro Wrestling & Pro Championship Wrestling), and the Dakotas (Fully Loaded Wrestling). He’s billed at 6′ 230 lbs., so naturally looks about 5’7″ 160.

THIS WEEK’S PWI 500 GUY: JR KRATOS (aka Kratos):
#500 appearance: None (#399 in 2014, #333 in 2015, #436 in 2016, #453 in 2017, #435 in 2018, #124 in 2021, #468 in 2022, #414 in 2023)

-A squat, burly powerhouse roide-monkey dude, JR Kratos is actually named after the “God of War” character. He was once homeless, but fixed himself and got a minor career as an indie journeyman. I checked around a handful of stuff, most of which he looked either super-green or like a total load in the ring, cardio-wise. So what I picked was from a bit later in his run. His career peak is probably a run in NJPW Strong in the pre-COVID era, doing a bunch of shows with them. He’s currently going by Kratos, teaming up with Odinson on more indies. At 43, he’s probably already peaked but ya never know with these things- all promotions need the occasional midcard brute, after all.

WOLFGANG DANGER vs. J.R. KRATOS:
(SPW 2018 Anniversary Show)
* Hooray! I found two guys on my list of random names who fought each other! Two birds with one stone! This is from some brightly-lit gym with a stationary camera.

They do DRAMATIC LOCKUPS to start, Danger getting flung back but slapping Kratos for the “you fucked up!” chant, standing there like he’s got a stick up his ass like a good self-righteous heel, getting slapped down and chopped in the corner. He does more titty-slaps and a biel, but Danger fires back with a “kick” and does some ridiculous “forward roll” where he actually manages to do a full BACK BUMP off of it (the first thing they teach you in training and he DOES A BUMP instead of a roll!) and eats a pump kick that misses by a foot. Ooh stationary cams are the enemy of pro wrestling. Also either I’m having a stroke or the lights are fucking up and going out frequently. Kratos hits a biel & suplex but hits the corner and takes an overhead belly-to-belly (… Danger is TINY. Why is he doing THAT to a dude this big?), and another puts Kratos on the floor so Wolfgang can SLOWLY work him over out there, taking 30 seconds between moves.

Kratos can barely make it in and gets dumped again to kill MORE time, then Danger clearly leaps onto his shoulders, but falls off to shove him into the post a THIRD time, but Kratos stops himself and hits a jumping knee. Kratos brings him in the hard way, then hits two running moves in the corner and a thigh-slap kick for two. Kratos tries to finish but eats a spinebuster (from WOLFGANG?), then goes behind on a slam for one of those “inverted facelock then spins around for an elbow” moves, followed by a Falcon Arrow and overwrought splash for two (“SP-DUB!” he shouts). The crowd demands that was three (it was NOT, darn it!) and Kratos takes forever holding Danger up, then Danger floats over and hits the world’s worst sack-of-shit-slam (WHY?), literally dropping Kratos across his own face because he’s not strong enough to get him over. He appears to have messed up his leg cuz physics was like “NOPE” on that one- he climbs to the top but eats a Gutwrench Superplex, then gets up to take a Spear, then misses a clothesline and another Spear finishes him at (14:36).

hahah boy they did NOT want to work hard in there. They’d do a solid move then just milk it for half a minute before another one. Wolfgang’s whole act is schtick, which is fine, as he came off like a weenie, but then would randomly do “hard chops” and a belly to belly on a much larger opponent, then a SPINEBUSTER of all things. In fact, both seemed to be wrestling as if they were the opposite dude, with Kratos hitting high kicks and jumps and Wolfgang doing power spots as if he were the larger man. Which is even funnier when you can tell that JR’s greater size was fucking him up (that Scott Hall slam where Kratos pretty much lands on him). Wolfgang also appears to be super-durable, getting up after nearly every move and Kratos has to throw everything at him for the pin. It was overall 8 minutes of match spread into 15 minutes, with very poor psychology- Indie 101. Kratos seemed fine, just going along for the ride. Perfectly ordinary 4-5/10 power dude.

Rating: 1/2* (a very weak match with no psychology as to the wrestler’s sizes)