Mike Reviews Shows Considered To Be Stinkers – WWE Armageddon 2003

Happy Stinky Friday Everyone!

We close out our journey into 2003 WWE today with Armageddon 2003, which is a show I actually haven’t ever watched before, but I’m aware of it due to so many people telling me that it’s a rubbish show. Thus, we’ll give it a looksee today and I’ll see if those folks were being unkind or if this show genuinely is as bad as advertised.

You can view the full card for Armageddon by clicking below;

WWE Armageddon 2003 Card

Armageddon is emanating from the TD Waterhouse Centre in Orlando, Florida on the 14th Armageddon 2003

Calling the action are Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler

We of course get the dramatic opening video package with bits from the bible thrown in, just so we really know that Armageddon is upon us

Opening Match
“The World’s Strongest Man” Mark Henry w/ Theodore R. Long Vs “The Five Time WCW Champion” Booker T

I can’t remember what number of failed pushes we were on with Henry at this point, but we’re still 5-7 years away from him actually getting over as the World Champion on SmackDown. Henry’s target following his most recent repacking was Booker T, hence why we’ve got this match at Armageddon. This strikes me as the kind of opener you’d get from the 1980’s back before it was accepted that you wanted the opening bout to be a hot one to fire up the crowd, and instead you just send out two blokes in the mid-card to just kind of have a match. They tell a serviceable story here in this one, with the idea being that Booker is outsized but he has the ability to hang with Henry due to his skill and experience, which means that Long has to get involved to help Henry get the heat on Booker

The heat itself is pretty dull, with Henry mostly just clubbing away and applying loose looking rest holds, but it does the job of getting the crowd to clap for Booker at least. Henry really wasn’t very good at all at this stage, and he only really reached “passable” during the hottest run of his career, but he’d been so bad for so many years that by upgrading to passable by that point he may as well have gone from being Giant Gonzalez to Tatsumi Fujinami. Henry does apply a reasonable looking Bear Hug at one stage at least, which Booker does an excellent job of selling for. Booker even works in a Marty Jannetty bump to a Henry clothesline at one stage, as Booker really has his working boots on for this one it seems.

Booker eventually manages to fire off some big moves on Henry, which essentially fills in for the comeback here as Henry can’t really bump around for Booker like a Heel normally would. Booker gets a near fall from a Scissor Kick, as the ring seems to be mic’d up really loudly this evening. Henry fires back with a leg drop for a two of his own, although Henry is so tired by this stage that he had to essentially hold the rope and lower himself down to do the move like he was Andre the Giant in 1990 or something. Booker gets another Scissors Kick though and that’s enough for three after around 9 Minutes.

WINNER: BOOKER T
RATING: **

Thoughts: Jim Ross makes sure to tastelessly compare Booker T’s resolve to win this fake wrestling match to the American Army who were fighting (and dying) over in Iraq and Afghanistan at the time. Booker did do an excellent job here in fairness, as he was essentially wrestling a human Snorlax for the majority of that one but managed to get the crowd to kind of care, which is a testament to how good a gutsy babyface Booker T was around this timeframe. Henry was mostly useless and they could have got pretty much any of the generic big lugs in the company at the time to work this exact match with Booker and it would have been roughly as good as this one. Henry had a lucrative contract to justify though so WWE were going to keep shoving him on television until they got something out of that investment (it only took them about 14 years)

Raw Co-General Manager Eric Bischoff is mad about Booker winning, and tells Chris Jericho and Christian to take care of Trish Stratus and Lita later on. Christian seems happy to do that, whilst Jericho is less pleased by the notion, as they were teasing a babyface turn for him at the time

Raw Co-General Manager Mick Foley joins us for his customary cheap pop and lets us know that a petition to bring Stone Cold Steve Austin has now reached 1 million signatures. This leads to Stacy Keibler heading down to the ring as a cheerleader for some cartwheels. Foley even tries one for good measure, but Randy Orton and Ric Flair head out to bring the mood down in order to tease the eventual Orton Vs Foley feud. Orton says that Stone Cold isn’t coming back and that all he cares about is winning the IC Title, so Foley says we’ll have the match now, which kind of sucks for Rob Van Dam

Match Two
WWF Intercontinental Title
Guest Referee: Raw Co-GM Mick Foley
Champion: Rob Van Dam Vs “The Legend Killer” Randy Orton w/ Ric Flair

Foley had recently shown up to replace Steve Austin as the babyface authority figure on Raw after Stone Cold was “retired” back at Survivor Series, but he wouldn’t be doing it for long as he had a feud with Orton to be getting on with. Some babyface Foley is by the way; forcing Rob Van Dam out for a match early like this (unless he clued RVD in that he might do it, although it would make sense to mention that on commentary so that Foley looks like less of a jerk). Foley inserted himself as the referee for this one due to Orton always cheating with help from Flair. They actually do some nice chain wrestling to start, showing how RVD had become a well-rounded in-ring performer by the time 2003 rolled around after being more of a MOVEZ guy in the 1990’s. Orton was already pretty smooth mechanically as a worker by this stage, so they end up having an enjoyable match in the early stages as, RVD shines on the challenger with his hybrid offence whilst Orton bumps, feeds and sells well.

Orton eventually manages to cut RVD off by shoving the Champ off the top rope down to the floor, and that gives us our heat segment. Orton mostly sticks to standard Heel tactics like choking RVD on the ropes and using rest holds, which allows Foley to step in and prevent it to show that he’s going to be the trouble shooting referee who won’t be tolerating Heel shenanigans tonight. RVD’s selling during the heat is good, although his facial expressions when he’s getting choked out are a little goofy (almost Jim Duggan-esque at points actually). Some of Orton’s rest hold’s feel like they go on for a bit too long at points (a regular critique of his early work) but everything he does looks good at least and he shows off his strong cocky Heel persona when the opportunity allows. It’s not the world’s most exciting heat segment, but it does the job and the crowd boos Orton when they’re supposed to and cheers for RVD when they’re supposed to, so it works.

RVD eventually makes the comeback, getting both a ten punch in the corner and a monkey flip out of it, giving this one a bit of an old school feel, which isn’t a criticism. I like that the classics can still work when you do them properly. Orton gets his signature second rope DDT, which RVD takes a great bump for, but RVD survives that by getting a limb out of play when the pin is made and that means that the match continues. Each wrestler has a chance to win it. Orton gets a very good near fall following a roll-up after RVD is distracted by having to deal with Flair, which could easily be a flat Heel finish, but they decide to give Orton a stronger win as he dropkicks RVD off the top rope and then follows with an RKO for the three count after about 18 Minutes.

WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: RANDY ORTON
RATING: ***

Thoughts: The heat was a bit dull in places, but aside from that this was a good match. The work was solid and the crowd mostly responded how they were supposed to. It succeeded in elevating Orton as well for him to win his first Main Roster belt in a good match like this, so credit to RVD for being a pro and dropping the belt in the right way. I think it might have improved with about 5 minutes chopped out of it, because it would have been snappier that way and you wouldn’t have needed such a long heat segment, but what we got was good overall

Orton celebrates like winning the belt is a big deal, which helps give the belt some prestige. As the old saying goes; it’s not the belt that makes the wrestler but the wrestler that makes the belt.

Match Three
Eric Bischoff’s Battle of the Sexes Tag Team Match
“The Highlight of the Night” Chris Jericho and Christian Vs Trish Stratus and Lita

This one came about because Jericho and Christian both had a bet going on for one Canadian dollar to decide who could be the first to have sexual relations with Trish or Lita respectively. Stratus and Lita both found out about the bet and got very angry about it, so this match got booked to settle things. However, its starting to look like Jericho might actually have some genuine feelings for Stratus after all, which could be the fly in the ointment in this one here at Armageddon. Christian still had his super generic Heel music at this stage, but I confess that I quite liked it. Speaking of music; SO F### YOUR RULES, SO F### YOUR RULES MAN!!! Sorry, I don’t know what came over me there for a second, but I guess Lita is heading down to the ring or something…

So the story here is that Jericho doesn’t want to actively fight Stratus and instead tries to nullify her in mostly non-violent ways, which allows Stratus to get the better of him because she actively does want to fight, which is a neat storytelling device to get around why a smaller woman could take the fight to a bigger man. Christian is of course a total unapologetic sleazeball and is perfectly willing to fight both of the women without conscience, meaning that Lita has to stick and move in order to take the fight to him, which is another clever bit of storytelling as it allows Lita to get a bit of a shine on Christian without ever being presented as a genuine physical match for him.

Jericho is willing to fight with Lita, even if he doesn’t want to fight Stratus, leading to Jericho giving Lita a cheap shot from the apron before standing on her hair back in the ring like a jerk. This is all very effective when it comes to getting the crowd to react to the action, although you could argue that it’s kind of cheap and low rent, especially when Christian tears Lita’s top off at one point and taunts her with it. However, this allows Lita to clock Christian right in the Uncle Jay’s and make the tag to Stratus, who does a pretty effective hot tag segment, highlighting how she was continuing to grow as a worker from when she first started in 2000. Stratus manages to get a believable near fall with a School Girl roll-up on Christian when the Heels accidentally collide, but Christian then takes Stratus’ head off with a big clothesline, which gives Jericho a chance to help her up and be gentlemanly. However, Christian pounces with a roll-up of his own for three after about 7 Minutes.

WINNERS: JERICHO & CHRISTIAN
RATING: **3/4

Thoughts: This was effective storytelling and it had some decent work in it as well, as they structured it competently so that the women wrestlers were able to hang in there with the male wrestlers without it ever really feeling that contrived. There was a bit of a cheap heat feel to everything throughout, especially with the moments when Christian would just clatter the women for the Pavlovian response from the crowd, but overall this was a well-executed bit of “Sports Entertainment” and the Jericho/Stratus “will they, won’t they?” storyline was one of the better things on Raw during this time period

Post-match; Christian is of course thrilled to have won and treats the whole thing like a genuine big victory, whilst Jericho just looks morose that he wasn’t able to repair things with Stratus, building to an eventual switch to babyface for Jericho and a great match with Christian at WrestleMania XX

Match Four
Grudge Match
“The Animal” Batista w/ Ric Flair Vs “The Heartbreak Kid” Shawn Michaels

Batista cleaned Shawn’s clock back at Survivor Series and the choked Shawn on Raw until HBK started bleeding from the mouth, so Shawn is looking for some payback here. This was kind of the first proper “test” for Batista where they put him on a pay per view event like Armageddon in a singles match with an established star like Shawn and saw whether he could deliver on the big stage. In fact, I think this was Batista’s first singles match on pay per view since he wrestled Kane in 2002, and that was before Evolution was officially a thing.

They tell the story you’d expect here, with Shawn sticking and moving to try and anger Batista, with Flair even taking a punch when he tries to get involved at one stage. It’s very much out of the playbook Shawn would use in the 1990’s when they’d book him against a bigger powerhouse Heel like this, and Shawn was very adept at the formula by the time 2003 rolled around, so this works well enough. Batista mostly yells, throws strikes and does power moves, with Shawn selling it all well. It’s not the sort of performance that Batista would be capable of having in the second half of the 2000’s when in there with a good worker, but it’s a solid effort.

We of course get a rest hold at one stage, with Batista catching a breather by sticking Shawn in a back breaker. Shawn sells it really well at least, whilst Batista shows some good intensity and Flair is a good loud mouthed Heel manager at ringside. Shawn eventually makes the comeback and the crowd is behind him, as you’d expect. The fans have at least seen this as a “proper” Shawn Michaels pay per view match and not just Shawn wrestling a generic mid-card muscle man, which a testament to how good a job WWE was doing with presenting Batista as a credible rising star at the time. Batista takes too long putting Shawn away with the Batista Bomb when he has Shawn on the ropes and that allows Shawn to fire off the Sweet Chin Music OUTTA NOWHERE for the three count in 12 Minutes.

WINNER: SHAWN MICHAELS
RATING: **3/4

Thoughts: Batista was the broomstick here and Shawn carried him to a competent pay per view outing. Batista did improve quite a lot in 2004 due to working with the likes of Shawn, Chris Benoit and Edge on a regular basis, and by the time he got his big World Title push in 2005 he was a lot more assured as a performer than he was here. Here Batista was mostly just a big lug that Shawn kind of just wrestled around, but he didn’t get in Shawn’s way at least and the crowd dug the match overall, so it was a decent outing overall for The Animal, even if it was one that Shawn could have probably had in his sleep after having to work with the likes of Sid and King Kong Bundy in the 1990’s

Batista is furious to have lost, with the idea being that Shawn completely caught him on the button in a flash knockout. Maven heads down to the ring for a match with Matt Hardy, but Batista is still in the ring angry and that leads to poor Maven getting his butt whipped by The Animal when Matt flings Maven into the ring. Thus Maven can’t continue and that leads to Matt picking up the forfeit win, making that two forfeit wins on pay per view for Matt in 2003 after he got one over Zach Gowen at SummerSlam. Matt was a pretty good manic Heel there, making the most of his pay per view time

Batista gets a pep talk from Ric Flair backstage and suggests that he and Batista will be leaving with belts tonight

Match Five
Tag Team Turmoil for the Raw Tag Team Titles
Champions: The Dudley Boyz (Bubba Ray and D-Von) Vs Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak Vs La Resistance (Rene Dupree and Rob Conway) Vs Lance Storm and Val Venis Vs Hurricane and Rosey Vs Scott Steiner and Test

This is basically “winner stays on” where two teams start and when one team loses another is sent out until all the teams have wrestled. The last team standing are the Raw Tag Team Champs.

1st Session
La Resistance (Rob Conway and Rene Dupree) Vs Hurricane and Rosey

Conway is tagging with Dupree now due to Dupree’s evil fellow Frenchian Sylvain Grenier being injured. Hurricane is a super hero and Rosey is his Super Hero In Training (work that gag out for yourself). Hurricane crashes and burns early with a messed up dive that Maffew has probably had sent to him at one stage. This entire section is quite messy actually, even though Conway and Dupree was probably the best in-ring version of La Resistance due to it not involving Grenier, who was absolutely cack. Rosey, who is a member of the Bloodline family tree and was on a recent WWE 2K game, gets the hot tag and runs wild, getting a sloppy spine buster on Conway so that Hurricane can jump off his shoulders with a splash for three in 3 Minutes. Pretty much all of that 1st session was terrible.

2nd Session
Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak Vs Hurricane and Rosey

Cade and Jindrak are cocky youngsters, and they quickly eliminate The Super Dorks when they attack behind and Jindrak rolls up Hurricane after 4 Minutes total match time.

3rd Session
Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak Vs Lance Storm and Val Venis

Storm had been called boring for most of 2003, but they then started saying that he had a massive load of luncheon meat in his tights, which of course led to him tagging with Raw’s resident porn star. The crowd doesn’t remotely care about this bit but it’s the best wrestling we’ve had in the match thus far, especially when Storm mixes it up with Cade in the ring and they do some very nice technical grappling. I don’t know how you could watch Storm do all this fantastic wrestling and think that making him boring was the best creative direction for him. Storm gets briefly worked over and it’s hot tag Venis, who looks good with Cade and Jindrak bumping and feeding for it well in fairness to them. Venis does his usual All Japan tribute act, getting Kobashi’s Half-Nelson Suplex and Akiyama’s Blue Thunder Driver on Jindrak, but Cade holds Venis’ leg down whilst Jindrak pins Venis and that leads to the three count after 8 Minutes total match time.

The crowd didn’t care for any of that but it was a nifty quick 5 minute tag match that would have been just fine on an episode of Raw or something.

4th Session
Garrison Cade and Mark Jindrak Vs The Dudley Boyz

The action here is fine as well, with the cocky youngsters working a quick heat segment on D-Von whilst the crowd chants for tables. Cade and Jindrak have been totally fine here, although you can tell that Cade was definitely the better worker of the two when it came to mechanics. Sadly for Cade he wasn’t ever really able to make anything of his incredible athletic gifts whilst Jindrak ended up becoming a huge star in Mexico at least. Bubba ends up getting the hot tag when Cade misses a top rope elbow drop and things breakdown following that. Jindrak takes a 3-D and that’s Cade and Jindrak eliminated after 12 minutes total match time, although Cade is a poor sport and lays both of The Dudleyz out.

Final Session
Scott Steiner and Test Vs The Dudley Boyz

Steiner and Test spent most of 2003 feuding, but Steiner then turned Heel in the autumn and they became a tag team. Bubba seems to have hurt his shoulder/arm following that Cade attack, so Steiner and Test target the appendage and work Bubba over. Bubba sells well enough and the heels are fine at working heat, so it works as a match, the crowd just doesn’t really care about it. Steiner was basically immobile during this WWE run due to a litany of physical issues, but having a partner he can tag in helps offset that somewhat. One thing I like about Steiner and Test is that are in constant communication with one another in the match, which works both in kayfabe because you would talk to your partner, but it also allows them to essentially call spots to one another without outwardly doing so. D-Von ends up getting the hot tag and he does a good segment in there with the two Heels. D-Von was actually a solid worker in his day, as this shows, as his timing is spot on. Test ends up accidentally catching Steiner with a Big Boot, but he throws a belt into the ring to distract the ref and hits D-Von with a chair, which gets two when Bubba breaks up the count. Bubba catches Test with a desperation Bubba Bomb and D-Von pins Steiner after 20 Minutes total match time to seemingly retain the belts.

However, Eric Bischoff joins us to reveal that Batista and Flair are the last team.

Special Surprise REAL Final Session
Batista and Ric Flair Vs The Dudley Boyz

They’re doing the big “The Dudley Boyz are really injured and here’s ANOTHER team” thing here, so Batista quickly Powerbomb’s D-Von and that’s enough for three. Poor D-Von; always having to take the fall.

Total match time 21 Minutes

WINNERS AND NEW CHAMPIONS: EVOLUTION
RATING: **

Thoughts: Cade and Jindrak were kind of the stars of the match there, as they looked very competent and did some solid wrestling during their time in there. The Dudleyz sold well in order to make it look believable that Evolution would motor through them. The first session was awful, but the rest was okay

SmackDown’s roster is going to Iraq, so we get a jingoistic video talking about it

Death Slot
WWE Women’s World Title
Champion: Molly Holly Vs Ivory

Pour one out for these poor lasses. This one apparently wasn’t even advertised ahead of time and they’re just throwing these two out there with zero hype. That was basically the life of the Women’s and Cruiserweight champions during this period sadly. Holly is the Heel and Ivory is the Face here, and it kind of feels like both are miscast in that regard. They work hard here and the wrestling is decent, but the crowd doesn’t care and the announce team mostly talk about other things. Ivory even busts out a cannonball off the apron to the floor at one stage, with it generating barely a whimper from the crowd. Holly controls things back inside and exposes a metal turnbuckle pad. Ivory manages to counter that and send Holly into it, but Holly counters Ivory’s sloppy roll-up for three after about 4 Minutes.

WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: MOLLY HOLLY
RATING: *1/2

Thoughts: Totally fine as a quick match but the short run-time meant they couldn’t really tell much of a story and the crowd was basically silent for all of it. Had they given these two a storyline reason to fight, enough time to tell a proper story, and actually advertised the match in advance, then I think it could have been quite good. But they did none of those things, so it was what it was

Main Event
Triple Threat Match for the Raw World Title
Champion: Goldberg Vs Triple H Vs Kane

Kane had finally finished off Shane McMahon back at Survivor Series and had also buried his brother, The Undertaker, alive on the same show, so this was probably the strongest he’d ever been pushed. Kane had probably earned a singles pay per view Main Event following his months of penance with Shane, but Triple H needed to get the belt back in time for WrestleMania Season, so he got added into this match as well. In the video package there’s a funny moment where Jim Ross is yelling “Bah Gawd tell me why is Kane attacking Goldberg?” and it’s pretty obvious. I mean, why would a wrestler coming off a big win attack the World Champ of their respective brand for any other reason than to cement their own claim to the World Title? Did Jim Ross think that Goldberg ate the last egg and watercress sandwich in catering and Kane was really made about it or something?

Goldberg is at least over with the crowd here, owing to Kane being so over as a Heel after “killing off” Undertaker and the crowd just hating Triple H on general principle. Triple H and Kane team up on Goldberg to start, but he manages to fight back and Tri gets knocked out of the ring meaning we can get the Kane Vs Goldberg confrontation that would have arguably been a “dream match” during the Attitude Era days. It’s actually a totally fine big man slugfest when they go at it and they probably could have done an okay 8-10 Minute pay per view singles match here if there wasn’t such urgency to get the World Title back onto Triple H. Triple H of course keeps getting involved when Kane and Goldberg are trying to have their match, and the crowd does seem reasonably interested in what is going on.

Tri and Kane go back to working over Goldberg together, as that’s essentially the heat segment in this one, but of course the two Heels eventually start arguing over who gets to win, which always happens in one of these matches when you have two Heels and one Face. Action wise the bout isn’t thrilling but it’s okay for three guys working their way through a Main Event brawl. It’s mostly punching and kicking with the occasional weapon shot and power move, but it does the job. Goldberg tries to Pillmanise Triple H at one stage as revenge for Tri organising that to be done to Goldy in the autumn, but Kane prevents that from happening, causing the crowd to murmur boo-urns.

Goldberg ends up taking a Choke Slam onto the Spanish announce table, but it doesn’t break (someone page Maffew about that as well) so Tri ends up having to leap off the barricade with an elbow drop to make sure that the table actually breaks. Triple H actually draws some laughs from the crowd when he tries begging off to Kane following that, but of course that doesn’t work and we eventually get some Tri Vs Kane in the ring, and it’s probably the best actual wrestling of the match. The fight spills to the floor, where Triple H takes a very safe looking Choke Slam onto the metal entrance ramp (hey, I’m not complaining. I’m actually glad they didn’t do anything too dumb and it still made a nice thud, so thumbs up if you ask me) but Goldberg prevents Kane from winning back inside the ring.

We get the three way slugfest as the bout approaches it’s end, with Goldberg getting to run wild on both Heels with punches and the crowd getting into it. Flair, Orton and Batista all get involved in order to halt Goldberg’s momentum, and that all leads to Goldberg taking a Choke Slam from Kane thanks to Tri clocking Goldy right in the Atlanta Falcons. However, Kane is unable to make the pin because Batista drags him out of the ring for a brawl, leading to Triple H draping and arm and winning the belt after about 19 Minutes. So Evolution has all the belts so that they can recreate The Four Horsemen photo-op from the 1980’s.

WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: TRIPLE H
RATING: **3/4

Thoughts: This was a decent triple threat match that the crowd was mostly invested in. It was light on actual wrestling and was more based around brawling and spots that allowed one wrestler to sell for a bit so that the other two could do something, but I was mostly “sports entertained” by it all and they at least protected Goldberg somewhat in defeat with all the gaga at the end. You’ll note that Triple H ultimately won the feud over Goldberg though, as Goldberg never really got close to getting his belt back and this was basically the end of Goldberg as any real Title contender until he returned in the 2010’s

Is It Really A Stinker?

No I don’t think I can say Armageddon 2003 is a Stinker;

I can understand why people might have hated it back in the day, as it featured Triple H winning the World Title AGAIN and the rest of the card was average, so if you paid full price for it back in 2003 there’s a chance you would have found Armageddon underwhelming and not be best pleased about it.

However, through 2025 eyes when you can watch it as part of a streaming service that you already have a membership for, Armageddon is a mostly inoffensive event to wade through. There’s nothing I would say is especially bad. Orton Vs RVD is good, Batista Vs Shawn and the Main Event are okay, and the Battle of the Sexes bout had some good storytelling that played it’s part in building towards one of the better matches and moments at WrestleMania XX.

So Armageddon 2003 isn’t a Stinker in my opinion, but it’s not a show you need to go out of your way to watch either. It was “just a show” in every sense of the phrase, although if you are a big Evolution fan then you’ve got them sweeping all the belts here at least, which might provide you some satisfaction.

Final Score – Odourless
(Scores done on a scale of Stinker/Stinky/Odourless/Pleasant/Fragrant)