Low-Ki vs. The Mean Street Posse & Baby JBL in Global (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I’m not sure how good a Christmas Eve column will do, BUT I have a great “lost match” featuring LOW-KI in a WWF tryout, as he gets squashed by RODNEY AND PETE GAS of all people! And best of all, it’s linked to my PWI 500 set, as his partner is #500 in 1999, Vincent Goodnight! Then Goodnight teamed up with JR Ryder for a WWF Metal match against the new team of T&A. Then I find ANOTHER silly name from the PWI 500s, as 1970s wrestler TAMBA THE FLYING ELEPHANT, a luchadore of significant gravity, teams up with Super Halcon against Dos Caras & Tieneblas!

And then I have a FULL SHOW of the Global Wrestling Federation, as I was briefly fascinated by the weird misfit crew of that Texas indie- a combination of future stars and “stars” (Ahmed Johnson & JBL/Bradshaw), never-was losers, and random short-lived rookies who never went anywhere. “Maniac” Mark Davis (a territory nobody doing a “crazy guy” gimmick) vs. Guido “Sweet Daddy” Falcone (a big Italian stereotype)! John Hawk (a baby Justin Bradshaw) vs. “The American Heartthrob” Chaz! “Dapper” Danny Davis vs. Action Jackson! And finally, the territory’s babyface hero “Courageous” Marc Valiant against the future Ahmed Johnson, Moadib the Nubian Terror!

THIS WEEK’S PWI #500: VINCENT GOODNIGHT:
#500 appearance: 1999 (#500 in 1999, #368 in 2000, #376 in 2001)

-Vincent Goodnight is now known as “Vinny Lee Glamrock” and is a fairly tall indie kid with a weird face and long blond hair, at least sorta looking like the kind of rockstar he’s supposed to be. He’s like a Temu Edge. 6’3″ and reasonably close to that, and with leather pants and a reasonably good physique (though he has scrawny legs and no ass). He was in an absolutely TURRRRRRRRRRRIBLE match against Slayer in some indie show I was flipping through (Pagoda Pro Wreslting in Pennsylvania: https://youtu.be/CoyzOgJ4Zcc?si=YBF-deyHQPCimL9a&t=1706). This match is a legit DUD and mostly thanks to Slayer being terrible and botchy, but it’s the classic “unrecappable indie garbage” with like… lots of chinlocks, clumsy pin-reversals, fights to the floor, guys tangling up in the ropes, etc. Just too long and sloppy. He did a couple of WWF squashes in 2001, which is what I’m grabbing from. Goodnight largely disappears from CageMatch circa 2001, meaning he only wrestled for about four years before ending up a “just an occasional match” kind of guy (he has the occasional match even nowadays). Most of his stuff is from ECWA (circa Delaware).

oh man this was an eye-opener. I knew Low-Ki was on the small size, but not that he was a MANLET- imagine having a roided up Pete Gas absolutely dwarfing you.

THE MEAN STREET POSSE (Rodney & Pete Gas) vs. LOW KI & VINCENT GOODNIGHT:
(WWF Dark Match, Aug. 7th 2000)
* hahahahahah yes Goodnight is teaming with LOW KI and they get to be squashed by the goddamned MEAN STREET POSSE. Now THAT’S a test of Low Ki’s famous attitude! The Posse are now in trashy t-shirts with cut-off sleeves and baggy jeans in a funny imitation of tough guys, and are MASSIVELY bigger than Low Ki. Like, I remember these dudes as total jobber-looking goobers and both look about 40 lbs. heavier than Ki is, though Gas has clearly entered “don’t fire me plz” roid mode. They jump the jobbers as soon as they enter the ring.

The jobbers reverse Irish whips so the Posse bail to the floor, Goodnight faking them out so Low Ki can hit a corkscrew dive to the floor. Goodnight ends up going into Ki on the apron, sending him into the arms of Pete Gas, who hits the world’s strongest slam on the floor. The Posse hit a double-backbreaker and then Gas catches Ki AGAIN, hitting a sidewalk slam. Rodney with the slingshot legdrop & Perfect necksnap, then slugs Goodnight so they have cover for a double-team. Gas works Ki over in the corner, but takes a sunset flip, using his raw power and size advantages (hee) to clothesline him into a spinning bump. Ki finally manages a thrust kick and tags out, Goodnight “running wild” with punches and slams (Rodney totally doesn’t post on the lift so his is like a “grunting shoot body slam”). Everyone hits the ring and Ki does the *slap* kick routine on Rodney (the hard cam is NOT his friend with regards to repeating kicks). The jobbers are do-si-do’d into each other and Ki spins on the bump while Goodnight just awkwardly stumbles around and Gas catches him with a double-arm hug into a sit-out powerbomb thingie (why would PETE GAS need a FINISHER?) while Rodney hits the Buff Blockbuster (flying somersault neckbreaker) on Ki, and that’s the pin at (4:44).

Not the best- the Mean Street Posse were good if you needed someone The Fans Would Never Cheer, Ever, which made them GREAT for getting others over as it was a delight seeing these sweatervest-wearing toadies exterminated no matter who was doing it, but they were just generic brawlers when they had to LEAD. You could see someone had gotten into Ki’s ear about the proper way to show off- not Get Your Shit In, but Sell Everything As Devastating, which the agents are gonna look at a lot harder than how well you can flip. So he was good at that, flip-selling and bumping around like the Posse was just too much for him (hee). Typical blank-faced Ki Comeback, though- no energy to it. REACT TO THE FANS DARN IT!

Rating: 1/2* (perfectly fine squash, though not that interesting save for the participants- 2/5 on the Squash Scale)

Ryder’s “Bring me back! I’m trying SO hard!” selling.

T & A (Test & Albert, w/ Trish Stratus) vs. JR RYDER & VINCENT GOODNIGHT:
(WWF Metal, Oct. 7th 2000)
* Ryder’s a skinny indie boy with a weird chest tattoo and red tights. Goodnight’s in white tights and has WWF-approvable hair.

Ryder starts with Albert, showing a lot of fire as he chops away, but this just pisses the guy off- Ryder ends up in the corner eating boots, tries a go-behind off a corner whip and a sunset flip, but gets hauled up and hit with a huge hanging butterfly suplex, arching his back in agony on impact. T&A throw him up into the air for a face-bump, then Test whips him over for a tag. Hilariously, the ref is like “nuh-uh” to their piss-poor tag, making Kevin Kelly laugh on commentary (“yeah, let’s make sure there’s FORMALITY in this”) since this is a foregone conclusion anyways. Goodnight charges right into a tilt-a-whirl falling slam from Test. Test runs into an elbow and misses his big boot, so Goodnight scores some punches- Ryder comes flying in and gets caught, so Goodnight dropkicks them over for two, but Test just flings Ryder off and Ryder takes another big bump off the full-nelson slam. Goodnight’s hauled in by Albert and eats a big Vader attack, then a Trish-assisted slingshot whips him into the middle rope. Goodnight gets a foot up in the corner and “hits” a hurricanrana, but Ryder gets a flurry of offense and necks Test on the top rope, but gets dragged off by Trish while Test hits a running Goodnight with a big sit-out powerbomb! Ryder’s blasted as he tries to interfere and the jobbers are stacked up for an assisted avalanche from Albert, and Test rips Ryder’s head off with a Big Boot at (4:39).

Man, WHAT A SQUASH. As indie dorks, these two make great jobbers, flinging around on stuff, getting just enough offense to make it look like their speed can give them the advantage, but they just keep getting overpowered and murdered. Ryder in particular was a bump machine, arching his back in pain and getting crushed. If T&A had more matches like this and fewer 2-3 minute “generic RAW brawls” they might have been a little more successful.

Rating: *1/2 (fun extended squash! The big guys got “caught” repeatedly but looked dominant and never in danger. 4/5 on the Squash Scale)

Woof. What’s Spanish for “diabeetus”?

THIS WEEK’S PWI #500: TAMBA THE FLYING ELEPHANT:
#500 appearance: N/A (#445 in 1991)

-Tamba, called the Flying Elephant (presumably due to his status as an obesitron), wrestled from 1975-1995 and died in 2001. His CageMatch profile is probably in no way filled out correctly, as I doubt he wrestled only a few times a year. He is SUPER short but is extremely hefty.

DOS CARAS & TIENEBLAS vs. SUPER HALCON & TAMBA “THE FLYING ELEPHANT”:
(World Wrestling Association, LA Olympic Auditorium, 1987)
* I FOUND TAMBA THE FLYING ELEPHANT! This one was eluding me until I typed in “Tamba lucha”- all the “Flying Elephant” searches was turning up AI crap. Turns out he’s a corpulent guy in green pants. But don’t let that fool you! Braza del Oro was even fatter and he could flip like a motherfucker! He’s I don’t know Super Halcon (“Super Hawk”) but he has a Junior successor and all that, so is probably notable. He has a yellow mask with “hawk eyes” above where his actual eyes are, as the face part is black. Tieneblas (“Darkness”) is probably the basis for the Scorpion in “Saturday Night Slam Masters” with his black faceplate. He’s teaming up with Dos Caras (Mil Mascaras’s brother and also a legend), a muscular dude in a red mask and powder-blue tights. Most of these dudes have been wreslting almost 20 years by this point.

FALL PRIMO: Tamba boots Tieneblas as soon as he hits the ring apron, marking him as a rudo. He puts Tieneblas on the floor with headbutts and works him over out there until Dos Caras breaks it up. The announcer finally introduces everyone and the match starts properly 4 minutes in, Tamba repeatedly chickening out of fighting Tieneblas fairly- we soon see why as he rolls around from his offense, hitting the floor. Halcon gets rolled around by Caras, finally bailing after like 18 bumps in a row, always ending up in an armdrag. Tamba accidentally “hits” his partner (oof- his stuff looks terrible) and then SPLASHES him by accident, causing Tieneblas to pin him, then Caras easily slams Tamba and pins him (4:50).

FALL SEGUNDA: Tamba now works with Caras, “showing that shove that made him famous” (ie. fat guy shoulderblocks) and gets back body dropped in a pretty good bump for a person of gravity. Tieneblas bounces Halcon around, the rudo taking a phantom bump. Tieneblas works a stretch but gets kicked in the ass by Tamba, who is now legal- Tamba uses headbutts, then Halcon adds some SUPER wimpy ones, and the rudos use double-teams and such on Tieneblas, who isn’t really bothering to sell or react to strikes. A slam and a senton from Tamba pins him (3:27). That wins the fall because he’s the captain (lucha has unique rules). Tieneblas’s “Don’t go away- we’ll be right back” ad break reveals he is HELLA-old, even in this poor tape transfer. Actually, he’s around 48 but just looks wrinkled. Well this explains how stiff he is.

FALL TERCERA: Tieneblas is all ready to fight Tamba, but a single kick has him helpless as Tamba tears at his mask. He finally comes back (with his hair exposed) for a dropkick, but gets dumped by Halcon. Halcon back body drops Caras (who hasn’t done much all match), puts his head down and gets kicked for a cartoon fall, then gets sunset flipped. Tamba breaks it up but is sunset flipped by Tieneblas, then the rudos get run into each other from the corners. The rudos get their legs forced apart in some double-team splits, but Caras puts Halcon on the floor and Tamba/Tieneblas do the finish. Tamba can’t decide on where to end up in an Irish whip, but punts Tieneblas in the balls while the ref isn’t looking and puts him in the Boston Crab for the submission at (3:01), winning the match for the bad guys!

Absolutely dreadful, haha. Nearly everyone here looked old, out of shape and hesitant, almost like rookies in terms of not knowing where to be. Caras was barely in it and seemed to be the only capable one- Tieneblas was too old and stuff to do things properly or even sell, Tamba was chunky and awkward, and Halcon seems to have bad instincts and timing. Some fun spots, but most of it looked really phony and no-impact.

Rating: * (barely adequate in some ways. At least it was short)

GLOBAL WRESTLING FEDERATION:
(Feb. 20th 1994)
* Hell yes! I needed something else to fill out this column and found some GLOBAL! There’s a ton of these on YouTube, and it’s an interesting look at a fading indie. This is mostly a successor to World Class, taking place in the run-down Dallas Sportatorium, and features a few future WWF names, mostly 1-2-3 Kid/X-Pac (The Lightning Kid), Ahmed Johnson (Moadib “The Nubian Terror”) and Bradshaw (Big John Hawk). And most importantly, Alex “The Pug” Porteau.

We start the show with a recap of last week’s main event, featuring Black Bart (a washed-up, chubby veteran) taking on Scott Putski (a massively roided useless rookie son of Ivan)- Putski winning when the ref kicks the heel’s hands off the ropes, allowing a sunset flip to follow through. But John Hawk arrives to beat down Putski, sending Marc Valiant (another roidy magoo wrestler) to fight on Scott’s behalf. The best part is Hawk is wearing COW PRINT undies. Like, the white & black pattern is clearly that of a DAIRY COW. Not exactly the badass Texas Longhorn in here.

Your hosts are Doyle King and “Iceman” King Parsons, who is swapped out for other heels as the show goes on.

“MANIAC” MIKE DAVIS vs. GUIDO “SWEET DADDY” FALCONE (w/ Jackie Goldman):
* Amazing! We’re already at Nobody vs. Nobody! Mike Davis is a combination of “career jobber” and “sometimes they took a chance on him” as he was once one of the Rock & Roll RPMs, a Temu version of the Express. But mostly I see him jobbing in NWA, WWF & USWA- Global & CWA are the only places to push him. Falcone is some flabby jobbery-looking dude with an AMAZING mullet wearing a top that’s like a tights version of a black t-shirt and a white tie. Looks like he’s on the Sicilian Studs tag team and a Global Tag Champion. Note: This promotion already has a guy named “The California Stud”. Jackie Goldman gets on the mic before the match proclaiming the “Mongoloid” (an old medical term for a person with Down’s Syndrome) Mike Davis doesn’t belong in the wrestling business because he’s so craaaaaaaaazzzzzy. I like Goldman- he looks like a total sleazeball lounge lizard. I can smell his horrible 1980s cologne all the way in the future. Davis comes out doing a “simpleton” gimmick, wearing boxing gloves and making goofy faces- this is obviously the “kid appeal” character. He’s got a decent physique, pink boxing shorts, and fuzzy boots, but mostly looks like a jobber too.

Falcone immediately pounces on Davis and beats on him, but gets backdropped and flies over the top off a boxing punch. Falcone takes a beating on the floor and then makes the mistake of trying to work the brain of a crazy person, Davis no-selling turnbuckle shots and punching him down. Falcone works him over with clubbing forearms (using only the right to the point where it looks like his left just doesn’t work), then tries a headbutt of Bret’s rope and eats shit. But Goldman gets on the ring apron and slides Falcone an INVISIBLE OBJECT, said to be “brass knuckles” (the close cam revealing that Falcone is clearly bare-fisted), and he KOs Davis with a shot the jaw, pinning him at (2:29). The Angel of Death comes down, wiping out Goldman off-camera, and chases off the heel.

Rating: * (the match didn’t really have time to suck- neither guy looks to be anything special but doing only 2.5 minutes for a feature match is like acknowledging that the match is pointless)

An interview with Brandon Baxter and his client, TEMU KAMALA! Actually it’s “Witch Doctor Baboose”, a black guy in Kamala-like white facepaint who mutters a bunch of stuff. Baxter, a scrawny white guy in a very 1980s “white boy ponytail” calls the interviewer a honky and proclaims his client and to “forget about those Uncle Toms like Jesse Jackson and Nelson Mandela”.

BIG JOHN HAWK (w/ Black Bart) vs. “THE AMERICAN HEARTTHROB” CHAZ:
* Yes, it’s JBL in his rookie years as he takes on a skinny guy from the Light-Heavyweight Division, with much emphasis placed on the 65-lb. weight difference. But some guy named Buxton comes in- a ridiculous fat guy wearing a yellow tracksuit, and his MOMMY is with him, as this old lady joins her son in begging the heel Hawk to step out of the ring and let her son fight. Oh, it’s a RICH MAMA gimmick- haha, these are great for wussy heels. When Hawk refuses, Buxton starts shoving him and earns an ass-whupping, then Hawk declares he’ll slap Mama Buxton “out of your high-heeled shoes!” if they come by again. Hawk’s promo insists that Chaz’s daddy did a “chromosome check” and Chaz is actually a little girl, and he hates to fight women (CONTINUITY ERROR! He just threatened to do exactly that!). Chaz, who has ZERO body tone an U.S. flag tights, cuts a nervous nelly inset promo, saying “John Hawk, you wanna talk about me and how I need a chromosome check? You’re the one who wears PANTIES!”. haha GOTTEM.

Suffice it to say, I was not expecting rookie John Hawk to be trying fancy Japanese jiu-jitsu holds against a guy 60 lbs. lighter than him.

Hawk, who absolutely towers over Chaz, effortlessly takes him down with a fireman’s carry and throws on a jujigatame (… what?), Chaz reversing but getting shoulderblocked down. Hawk SAILS around the ring into an armdrag from Chaz (man is he sending this tape to Vince? Cuz it might work). Parsons claims a hairpull- when his sunglasses are questioned by Doyle, he says it’s a “black thing”. “Well I won’t argue with that because I am NOT a racist” “You’re from Texas, ain’t you?” and that argument just keeps GOING as Hawk lands a side suplex but gets monkey-flipped out of the corner. Hawk pulls the hair, and we’re back from break with Hawk putting the boots to him and hitting a LEG LARIAT of all things, then chokes him with wrist tape, but goes FLYING into the corner and takes a feather-light “stinger splash” from the skinny rookie. To save himself from this furious assault, he uses his cow-rope to clobber Chaz and gets Disqualified at (4:54). Hawk & Bart beat on the kid, causing Putski & Valiant come out to make the save, beating them back.

Wow that was ENERGETIC- Chaz mostly sat back and let Hawk call all the shots, and that big mother was WORKING. Just flinging himself all over the ring, hitting the ropes with these great big leaps, doing MAT WRESTLING of all things, bouncing around to sell, etc. Super hard work for this lameoid TV match, and this is EXACTLY the kind of thing that probably earned him a WWF job. Match was mostly nothing except his bumps but those were fun.

Rating: *1/4 (a miracle match from Baby JBL, flinging himself all over the place and treating his tiny opponent like he has a chance)

Chris Adams advertises the GWF Wrestling School- “You’ll learn about physical appearance and conditioning, wrestling techniques and ringwork, skill and speed training, posture and charisma, television interviews and much, much more”.

“DAPPER” DANNY DAVIS vs. ACTION JACKSON:
* NOT THAT DANNY DAVIS! This is the one who ended up in Ohio Valley Wrestling. He’s a jobber-looking short guy in a pink & black singlet & leather jacket, like a Temu Bret Hart. Jackson is a tall, heavyset black dude in ridiculous rainbow tights. He & Parsons were The Blackbirds in USWA, and he’s been at it FOREVER, wrestling since 1985 and still doing it today!

Davis jumps Jackson before the bell as I realize this promotion has two Davises in wrestling and two Kings on commentary, and hits a flip & back body drop on the MUCH larger Jackson as the crowd chants “Whoomp! There is is!” to get Jackson back into it. Davis hits a legdrop & 2nd-rope legdrop, but Jackson launches him off on the kickout and slaps his own ass to rally, knocks him down with a pair of punches, then USES THE ASS as a leaping ass attack drops Davis for the three at (1:39). Ah, so Davis IS a jobber! As soon as it’s over, in comes King Parsons for the beatdown, followed quickly by Baxter & Baboose, who throws some harmless-looking stomps. And then CHRIS ADAMS runs in, hitting the stiffs with Superkicks and ties Baboose in the ropes while John Hawk (on commentary) tries to claim that’s Abdullah the Butcher in a mask, but Rod Price (some roided blond guy) comes in with chair… but Adams moves and Baboose takes it to the face.

Rating: 1/2* (inoffensive squash-ish match, in that Davis controlled everything, but Action Jackson fired back with ease and won in seconds)

Amazingly we get a DON CHERRY commercial. I was not expecting to hear someone saying the Ontario “oh-oot” for “out” on a Texas program. You guys had Don Cherry videos in the States?

SPORTATORIUM LEGENDS:
KERRY VON ERICH vs. THE PUNISHER:
(from the past, probably 1989)
* lol WUT? They’re airing old matches- a red undies Kerry vs. a black singlet & masked rookie Mark Calaway. I was like “surely they’re not pretending this is current” as this is the Texas Tornado vs. The Undertaker, and sure enough Kerry had been DEAD for more than a year by this point. And only one’a these two guys specialized in coming back from the grave!

Immediately Baby Taker fucks up a leapfrog spot (first time I think I’ve seen someone do that, in fact), but he recovers and dropkicks Kerry, then hits a slam. He taunts Kerry a bunch, but runs into a series of slams & armdrags. Punisher blames mask-pulling and uppercuts Kerry to the floor. Kerry just fires back on the floor and comes back with a Discus Punch and I feel like Punisher’s failed two opportunities to shitcan over the ropes. He comes back with a hairpull and abdominal stretch, but Kerry hiptosses out and hits the Iron Claw, Punisher howling & growling for a full minute. He just hits a knee to come back, gets cross-bodied, and the worst sunset flip ever gets two for Kerry. Punisher gets an inside cradle, but he puts his head down and Kerry nails him with a backslide for the pin at (7:21 shown). The crowd goes BANANA at that, as Kerry was somewhat over in Dallas.

As usual for Von Erich matches, it was a bit limited and kind of a mess- Kerry was never one for match-crafting, and a rookie Undertaker wasn’t gonna get that out of him- you could see some physical gifts, but he was clumsy, too roided to be agile, and unsure of what to do next. Repeatedly, you could tell the offense didn’t really matter- eventually they’d hit their feet and just default back to a starting position with no overall story.

Rating: *1/2 (what we got seemed like a series of wrestling sequences, not a complete match)

“COURAGEOUS” MARC VALIANT vs. MOADIB “THE NUBIAN TERROR” (w/ Gen. Skandar Akbar):
* One of the promotion’s top babyfaces, Marc Valiant, goes up against the future Ahmed Johnson as a crazy guy in green “Abdullah” pants. Valiant is a big, tall-ish juice-jockey that appears to be a homegrown Global talent who was only at it for a couple years in the promotion, and largely vanished from wrestling once Global died. Must not have wanted to move. Wow, a giant mullet in 1994? Talk about a dated look!

Valiant gets into a shoving match with the Nubian Terror, losing so badly he’s taken to the floor. The new heel commentator keeps talking shit about Valiant being “just a bodybuilder” and how laying in a tanning bed won’t make you a Champion, or else Arnold Schwarzenegger would be the top guy, to which the babyface counters mentioning “The Dingo Warrior- the Ultimate Warrior”. Really? The DINGO Warrior is his point of reference? Valiant rolling bumps off an elbow when he tries a go-behind, and Moadib launches him into the corner when he goes for a headlock, putting over the power difference. Moadib keeps staring at Valiant, not showing any aggression or charisma, just putting his hands on his hips and wandering around, even LOOKING AWAY at points. Man Valiant’s lucky Monsoon’s not commentating here. Valiant falls trying a shoulderblock, then gets shoulderblocked himself and sells it like a gunshot, rolling to the floor. Both guys do impressive leapfrogs, then Moadib gets back bodydropped and is FINALLY selling, and Valiant hits a plancha! Moadib milks the count before coming back in, and his big boot puts VALIANT on the floor as we’re Out of TV Time at (4:31 shown). Oh what? BOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I know this is taped, darn you! You can’t fool me!

Thankfully I DID find the next show on the same channel, which airs the remainder! We see Valiant nailing a superplex! But while the heel is like “this bodybuilding reject may have a chance!”, Marc just sits there building his SmackDown! Meter while Moadib does a ZOMBIE SIT-UP, and when Valiant jaws with Akbar, Moadib leaps up for a scissor kick to the head! But he immediately one-arms Valiant to the floor, and since Global has shit-ass NWA rules that’s a Disqualification at (6:19 shown). OH LICK MY SACK, BOOOOOOOO! Post-match, Valiant smacks around Akbar a bit, but Black Bart comes in and holds him for Akbar to hit a HUGE fireball right ino his face (like that is SNUG). The announcer desperately cries out “We need a towel and some ice!” as Valiant writhes around, and JEEP SWENSON comes out to collide with Moadib, at which point Hawk & Bart drag Moadib away.

The match is hard to assess- they spend a TON of time on the “Moadib is Immovable”, which is honestly well done, as Valiant takes a ton of rolling bumps and looks befuddled. Moadib doesn’t really have “Monster Charisma” though, which is ironic because he looks like a goddamn beast who should be able to pluck his opponent’s limbs off and simply leave the flopping torso outside the ring to get counted out. But after all that build, we hit the end of regulation time just as the match picks up, and then we’re JIP to a high spot and the match soon ends on a DQ. Who knows- this coulda been **** for all we knew! Well probably not but still! The “top rope DQ” rule remains the lamest rule of all time and is way worse than the WWF escape cage rules :P. Whoever came up with that rule should be punched in the penis.

Rating: * (a mess of editing wrecks what potential there might have been. The post-match is great, though)

So that’s Global! It seems like a lively little promotion, mostly held back by a god-awful roster- too many guys are green (Moadib, Valiant) or obvious “never-was” losers (Baxton, The Sicilian Studs, Action Jackson, Mike Davis, Chaz) and the only guy who looks like a future star is Bradshaw.