Minus-Star Match Reviews: The Undertaker vs. Kane – WWE WrestleMania XX

Few matches better encapsulate the Vince McMahon adage of “selling the sizzle and not the steak” than this one.

The Undertaker and Kane are two of WWE’s most entrenched legends. Both are highly-decorated multi-time champions. Both are Hall of Famers. Both are treated with absolute reverence by large swaths of WWE’s audience. And both of their characters had some of the heaviest degrees of smoke-and-mirrors added to their presentation. From an aesthetic perspective it didn’t get more awe-inspiring than seeing these two cross paths…but seeing them actually wrestle was, sadly, groan-inducing, as we will see here.

The Story

Four months earlier at Survivor Series, 2003 Kane interfered in Undertaker’s Buried Alive match with Vince McMahon. Kane justified his actions by claiming his brother had changed for the worse – referring to his American Badass gimmick – and now his brother was dead and gone forever. This lasted about a month or so because shortly after Kane entered the 2004 Royal Rumble match wackiness ensued. The lights ran out and a gong went off in the arena. This distracted Kane long enough for him to be eliminated from the Rumble and setup a match with someone Kane insisted was dead.

For weeks Kane emphatically denied that ‘Taker was alive only to be met with some sort of spooky occurrence. Nonsensical video cuts would play on the TitanTron. Mist would fill the ring area during these segments. Kane’s four corners pyro wouldn’t go off when it was supposed to. At one point ‘Taker’s burning symbol appeared in the arena. At another a casket suddenly appeared in the ring as a Gregorian chant could be heard. Kane open said casket and found an urn. Still, Kane didn’t believe. And then…the ring supposedly began levitating with Kane still in it. As wacky as all of this was Kane sold everything by himself. It takes a talented and dedicated performer to basically do the work of two people singlehandedly yet through his facials, body language, and verbal tone Kane did just that.

So after all of that we would get the return of the original Undertaker at WrestleMania XX.

The Match Entrances

Kane comes out first to his usual pyro but there’s a cool shot of the NYC skyline on fire as he makes his way down to the ring. As his entrance ends Kane’s still shaking his head insisting that his brother’s dead.

Then the lights go out. And we hear that classic histrionic voice.

OOOHHH YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSS!

It’s Paul Bearer! Bearer comes out carrying the urn and is followed by several torch-bearing druids (one of whom turns out to be 2000s Jon Moxley). Then the lights go out completely and…

…GONG!

Jim Johnston’s Rest In Peace plays as the Undertaker slowly walks onto the top of the entrance ramp. And the pop he gets is unbelievable. The commentators are stunned silent. ‘Taker makes his way through the druids, their torches lifting up as he passes. As he makes his way up the stairs ~20,000 chant “UN-DER-TA-KER” in unison. As he slowly removes his coat and hat the fans are still cheering wildly. The supernatural monster of the 1990s is back.

And so concludes the great part of this segment because it’s all downhill from here.

The Match

This took place on March 14, 2004. Dave Meltzer didn’t give it a formal rating but Scott Keith hated it and gave it ¼*.

That “UN-DER-TA-KER” continues well after the bell rings. Kane continues to sell his fear and disbelief, insisting that whatever’s standing in front of him isn’t real. So he reaches out and ‘Taker jabs him, proving himself to be very, very real indeed. ‘Taker pummels Kane with punches and when the ref tries to make him stop Taker shoots him a glance that sends him scurrying out of the ring. Kane bails to avoid a chokeslam so ‘Taker goes after him, only to eat a punch to the jaw. ‘Taker reverses an Irish whip into the side of the ring which allows him to land his classic apron leg drop. In the ring ‘Taker lands some corner clotheslines and teases a Last Ride powerbomb but Kane powers out. Yet ‘Taker’s too far away from the ropes so he lands awkwardly inside the ring instead of falling out.

Kane takes advantage with a big boot and some mounted punches, which ‘Taker then reverses. Kane answers with a sidewalk slam and a flying clothesline for two. a monster punch exchange follows. Kane misses a corner clothesline and eats a big boot/leg drop combo. ‘Taker attempts Old School but Kane catches him in a goozle. But then ‘Taker goozles Kane. Kane powers out of Taker’s and connects with his chokeslam. But rather than cover he gloats, only for ‘Taker to do the zombie sit-up. I imagine Jerry Lawler’s sudden exclamations are there to cover the sound of Kane shitting his pants at this sight. Kane frantically lands punches and goes for a toe kick to block a body drop but ‘Taker no-sells the kick. ‘Taker makes his comeback with a flying clothesline and a chokeslam. Then the fans chant “Tombstone” and Undertaker obliges them. Throat slash gesture. Tombstone Piledriver connects. One, two, three! Easy win for The Undertaker who, coincidentally, is now 12-0 at WrestleMania.

Winner after 6:56: The Undertaker.

You can watch the full match here.

Review

As I noted at the start this was all about the entrance and not the match. Even the comments on WWE’s official video focus almost exclusively on the entrance, the commentary, how much time has gone since then, and other details big and small that precede the ringing of the bell to signal the start of the match. And for good reason: this was a glorified squash match that made Kane look like a whimpering coward who had even less monster aura than before. In terms of action this was significantly worse than their WrestleMania XIV outing which was still built on the titanic clash of two equally opposing forces. Here it was lopsided with Kane bailing seconds into the match and struggling to make any sort of dent. And unfortunately the chemistry from six years earlier wasn’t present here. The action was disjointed, a few moves looked either botched or awkward, and the flow was largely nonexistent. It was basically Undertaker beating on Kane, Kane getting a short moment of control, Undertaker doing his zombie sit-up, and then an equally short and sudden comeback into a finish. Yes the crowd was enthusiastic enough to chant “Tombstone” (I don’t think I’ve ever heard that chant before or since) but by and large the match didn’t fit the grandeur and spectacle of the entrance.

And yet the actual match still sucked. Granted, I doubt WWE planned on this being anything more than a bring-down match between Eddie/Angle and HHH/Benoit/Michaels. But even squash matches have certain standards in them and this one failed to reach that threshold. That’s right; this was poor even for squash match standards. Whichever agent put this match together must’ve been having a bad day because the action here came across as extremely underwhelming.

Final Rating: *

Though the entrance is worthy of the Five-Star treatment, the main thing we’re all here for, the match, is one of the biggest disappointments in The Undertaker’s long and storied career. Even if it was always intended to be a squash there just wasn’t enough chemistry between him and Kane on this night to make this into an acceptable one-sided thrashing. Kane’s credibility and monster reputation were severely weakened here, furthering the gulf between two brothers who, six Manias earlier, were on the same level of nigh-unbeatable power.

Though the story was built on Kane being afraid of his supernatural brother returning to form, it could’ve been executed in a way that didn’t make Kane, a once beloved and adored monster in his own right, look so weak and timid.

It’s unfortunate but this is but another reason why WrestleMania XX remains such a mixed bag of an event. While no one was expecting anything groundbreaking in terms of in-ring performance from two monsters weighing more than 300 pounds, their shortcomings could’ve easily been concealed through better direction and creative. Alas this was a huge miss for both men, but at least the production team did an incredible job with Undertaker’s entrance that more than makes up for this match not living up to that which preceded it.

Thanks for reading.