WWF SmackDown Rewind – 04.29.99 – “The Pilot Episode”

Two shows cover a large amount of modern WWE history. There’s Monday Night Raw, which was born in 1993 and has spent most of its existence as WWE’s flagship program. I cover new episodes Monday nights and Scott Keith has covered a good chunk of its history in his rants.

Then there’s SmackDown. While Niz does an amazing job reviewing the new episodes, there isn’t a lot of representation of the old episodes on Blog of Doom. Scott has only covered a handful of episodes over the show’s 27 years of episodes (at least that have appeared during the great reloading of rants). After reviewing an old episode of Nitro, I wanted to dive into something else. SmackDown? Yeah, let’s do that. There’s also a bit of history in this for me as the first thing I wrote on Blog of Doom was a SmackDown special. Now we’re back, baby.

The first episode of SmackDown aired months before it became a regular series as a pilot on UPN. Besides giving WCW’s Thunder a Thursday night opponent, it gave the company two additional hours on top of Raw to feature their talent. This is also right around the end of the Vince Russo era, as he’d leave WWE when SmackDown became a regular show and he felt overworked. He’d go to WCW and wreak havoc and, to this day, keeps finding his way to new companies. God help us all.

We start with a video package looking at Stone Cold retaining the title against The Rock and Rock saying he has a problem with Shane McMahon. Shane and the Corporation attack Rock, Rock challenges Shane, Undertaker kidnaps Stephanie (“WHERE TO, Stephanie?”), Undertaker attempts to marry Stephanie, and Stone Cold saves her. You know, all kinds of normal things.

Fireworks explore and we’re in a city and arena never named on the show. Signs, signs, everywhere are signs. Michael Cole and Jim Cornette are our announce team and we have the Raw entrance setup.

Tony Chimel introduces Vince & Stephanie McMahon, both looking relieved after Stephanie escaped Undertaker’s clutches. Numerous signs in the crowd call to “show your puppies.” Vince tells us he is proud to be here but isn’t proud of some of his business choices as the fans chant “asshole.” “Hopefully I can change,” says Vince. Probably not. He says he has done things in the name of business at the expense of his family, but tonight he is regaining control of his company and rebuilding his family. He thanks Ken Shamrock for helping Stephanie as well as Big Show and most especially Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Stephanie thanks Shamrock, Show and Austin for helping her on Raw. She has never felt as powerless and violated as she did Monday. Undertaker kept touching her (the fans cheer), whispering in her ears that she was his, and there was nothing she could do about it. She thanks Stone Cold again and promises to never forget what he did. “Undertaker, I hope you burn in hell.”

“No Chance in Hell” brings out The Corporation (Shane McMahon), Big Boss Man, Triple H, Mean Street Posse and Chyna). After an “asshole” chant, Shane addresses Raw. He says he would have been there if something bad was happening to his sister. Shane wonders how Vince grew a soul overnight and is disgusted at him for thanking Stone Cold. He doesn’t give a rat’s ass about Stephanie, Stone Cold or Vince. Shane threatens to slap the wrinkles off Vince’s face and tells him to leave and take his daughter with him. Vince tells Shane that one day he may be a man, but tonight he’s acting like a boy. Vince and Stephanie leave and Shane tells us he has two thorns in his side right now, The Rock and Stone Cold. In this very ring, we’ll have Austin & Rock in action against Triple H and a partner, ignoring Chyna’s volunteering to be his partner. Undertaker appears on the Titantron and says tonight he’ll play judge, jury and executioner. Shane accepts this as Undertaking volunteering to team with Triple H. “Can you feel the power of Shane McMahon?” I feel something.

Cole and Cornette greet us from ringside. We have the New Age Outlaws battling Kane and X-Pac for the World Tag Team Titles, Big Boss Man against Mankind, and Bradshaw vs Ken Shamrock in a street fight.

Jeff Jarrett and Debra are walking and Blue Blazer is walking somewhere else, promising to give the WWF a superhero.

Val Venis vs The Blue Blazer (with Jeff Jarrett and Debra)

Cole notes that Venis as an “alleged former adult film star.” Venis greets the ladies of the audience and says his mutual fund is up more than it is down. Girls love a good mutual fund line. Cole notes that Owen Hart was scheduled to face Val here. Jeff says he doesn’t know where Owen is and that pisses him off, but he’ll be the replacement. Blue Blazer runs in from behind and takes down Venis as the bell rings. Cornette thinks it is Owen Hart. Blazer hits Venis with a top rope dropkick. Venis misses a dive in the corner as the fans chant “we want puppies.” Debra distracts Venis on the apron by opening her jacket. Jarrett kicks Venis right in the Valbowski and Blazer gets the pin. Nicole Bass marches out and Venis gives us what he’ll call indigestion. She chases him to the back. The Godfather comes out and takes down Blazer and Jarrett as commentary tells us Debra could head home with the Godfather. Jarrett and Blazer overpower Godfather.

Blue Blazer pins Val Venis. Well, it’s every three minute Attitude Era match with about ten things happening in a segment. We covered about five stories at once. Good to see the Blazer. This will be the sole time we see Owen on SmackDown.

The Rock is pacing and talking to himself backstage. He promises to make candy asses famous tonight.

Kevin Kelly catches up with Blue Blazer. Blazer is here because the WWF needs him. Kevin calls him Owen and Blazer tells us he’s looking for Owen as well. Blazer says there is too much cleavage, he can’t even say Val’s last name, and everything is deplorable. He tells all his little Blue Blazers to take their vitamins, say their prayers and drink their milk.

The Big Show vs Test

Big Show is in pretty good shape here. Test was taken out of the Corporation this past Monday. Big Boss Man comes out as Test beats on Show. Show hits a DROPKICK on Test and then the chokeslam. Big Show spins his nightstick at Show but backs out when Show charges at him. As Show leaves, Boss Man attacks Test with the nightstick and Show runs back in for the save.

Big Shows pins Test. It was quick and Big Show did some cool things.

The Rock is out for our next segment, getting a very good pop and “Rocky” chants. He says Shane and Triple H have checked their asses into the SmackDown Hotel and calls them roody poo candy asses. He promises to put his fist in their mouths and foot in their asses. This brings him to Austin. He says they’ll fight the fight but they aren’t friends. If Austin gets in his way, the Brahma bull will put his horns in Austin’s ass.

WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin has joined us to offer his own opinions, giving Rock the finger on his way to salute the fans. There’s not much like the fans popping for Austin. He tells Rock he’ll always be a punk kid spitting out nursery rhymes and he’ll knock the horns off Rock’s head and put him on the barbecue grill. “No Chance” brings us Shane again, scowling. His plan is getting bigger as they speak as the lights go out and Undertaker joins him. Shane asks if they’re beginning to understand as the Corporation and the Ministry walk out behind them. “Austin, Rock, let me be the first to introduce you to the Corporate Ministry.” They’ll be understoppable, yells Cornette.

Kevin Kelly has found WWF World Tag Team Champions Kane and X-Pac. He takes us back to Raw with Kane chokeslamming X-Pac over a wall and again in the ring. X-Pac promises unpredictability and Kane gives us nothing.

Droz (with Prince Albert) vs D’Lo Brown (with Ivory)

D’Lo chops Droz in the corner, Droz spins out of the opposite corner with an elbow as commentary discusses the Corporate Ministry. D’Lo powerbombs Droz off the top rope and then lands the Sky High. D’Lo goes for the Lo Down but Albert pushes him across the ring. Droz is tossed into Albert, D’Lo goes up top again. Albert comes in to attack and presses D’Lo across the ring for the disqualification. Albert gets out his piercing tools but here’s Mark Henry in a nice green suit for the save. The fans are happy to see ol’ Sexual Chocolate, cheering for his reunion with D’Lo.

D’Lo Brown defeats Droz by disqualification. The match wasn’t bad and its fun watching D’Lo stuff back. I don’t have many in-ring memories of Droz, but he worked well here.

Kevin is with the New Age Outlaws, asking if they have any feelings about battling their DX partner X-Pac. Road Dogg offers some whimsical rhymes but Billy Gunn says there are no friends when it comes to the titles.

WWF World Tag Team Titles: WWF World Tag Team Champions Kane & X-Pac vs The New Age Outlaws (Road Dogg and Billy Gunn)

Road Dogg goes through his crowd chants, Gunn declines because he is focused. Dogg and X-Pac start out, Road Dogg giving us apprehension. They trade back and forth hits, give each other crotch chops and Gunn tags himself in, pushing X-Pac to his corner. Kane tags his way in and tosses Gunn to a corner, punching away. Kane drops a leg on Gunn for a two count. X-Pac tags in and trades blows with Gunn, who punches down X-Pac and tags in Road Dogg. Dogg and Gunn argue about double teaming X-Pac. Kane gets a hot tag and boots down Billy. Dogg and Gunn double dropkick Kane down and Dogg gives us the knee drop. Kane pops back up and catches Dogg in a chokeslam, X-Pac comes near and also gets grabbed. Kane double clotheslines the Outlaws. Dogg crotch shots Kane and Gunn hits a Fame Asser, X-Pac making the save. Gunn goes to press slam X-Pac and Kane shoves Gunn into him, causing X-Pac to fall on Billy for the pin.

X-Pac pins Billy Gunn, X-Pac and Kane retain the WWF World Tag Team Titles. I liked this one. There was some solid storytelling here across both teams and it was a good five minute or so tag match.

Stone Cold is strapping on the knee brace.

Billy and Road Dogg argue backstage. Will they ever be okay?

Dok Hendrix is in the ring and welcomes The Blood (Gangrel, Edge and Christian). Their theme still gets me every time it spins up on my workout playlist. Hendrix is wearing a yellow outfit that is, well, very Michael Hayes. Gangrel gets to talk and, well, it isn’t great. They live their lifestyles for who they are and what they believe in. Hayes questions those who don’t understand the Brood’s lifestyles. Christian has no comment but Edge is happy to talk, saying they WILL understand in a matter of time. “We are who we are, the unholy trio, and we will become what we will become.” Dok questions what they might be smoking and probably wants some, but says this is probably just a gimmick for attention. Gangrel says that Dok – “isn’t that right, Michael?” – is the one confused. The lights go down and we come back to Dok and his yellow suit as the newest bloodbath victim.

Billy Gunn is yelling for X-Pac backstage. “Come on out, you chicken!” Those are some big words, Mr. Ass.

Ken Shamrock tells Kevin Kelly that he was raised on the street and he’s going to break Bradshaw’s arms, legs and spirit tonight and then beat the crap out of him some more.

Street Fight: Bradshaw vs Ken Shamrock

Bradshaw has a baseball bat tonight as Shamrock runs from behind and starts the brawl. Shamrock is tossed into the steel stairs and clotheslined around the ring. Bradshaw hits the fallaway slam on Shamrock for a two count. Shamrock chop blocks Bradshaw and rolls him into a leg breaker. Bradshaw reaches the ropes which means nothing in this match. Shamrocks whips Bradshaw into the bell table and goes for the bat. Bradshaw ducks a home run swing and grabs it, smacking it over Shamrock’s back. Shamrock chop blocks Bradshaw again and gets the bat, smacking Bradshaw in the stomach and then head. Shamrock tries to choke Bradshaw who pulls referee Tim White down before passing out. Shamrock refuses to break the hold; the ref squad and agents finally get him off. Shamrock attacks Sgt. Slaughter with the bat.

Ken Shamrock defeats Bradshaw. This was a good brawl. I don’t remember Slaughter being smacked around at all during this period but here we are.

Kevin Kelly is busy tonight, now in the boiler room with Mankind. Mankind introduces himself to the UPN audience. He promises to shave a sock down Boss Man’s throat because the fans seem to enjoy it. Have a nice day! Billy Gunn walks by, yelling for X-Pac.

Shane has gathered the Corporate Ministry for a dressing room discussion.

Big Boss Man vs Mankind

Boss Man attacks as Mankind enters the ring. Mankind ducks a clothesline and gives a double arm DDT as Michael Cole tells the potential new audience about Mankind’s lore. Mankind loads up Socko and Boss Man runs outside. Test comes from behind and rolls Boss Man back in. Boss Man tumbles over the top and Big Show joins us, grabbing Boss Man by the throat and pressing him back into the ring. The Mandible Claw is hooked, and Boss Man is out. Perhaps they are unified, notes Cole. Hmm, maybe they’ll even form a Union.

Mankind defeats Big Boss Man. Quick and simple.

Billy Gunn finds X-Pac and attacks him in a dressing room.

After commercials, Kane arrives and tosses Gunn out.

The Rock is walking – and spitting. Stone Cold’s doing the same. They team next, here on SmackDown! What a quick segment between commercials.

Triple H (with Chyna and Mean Street Posse) and Undertaker (with Paul Bearer and Shane McMahon) vs The Rock and WWF Champion Stone Cold Steve Austin

Triple H is coming out to “No Chance” in this time period. There is no way this ends cleanly, right? Triple H and Taker double team Rock before the glass breaks and Austin joins the party. Austin brawls with HHH on the ramp while Taker is working over Rock in the ring. Austin goes in after Taker and I guess they’re the legal men. Austin hits the Lou Thesz Press and drops the elbows for a two, broken by HHH. Austin tries for the Stunner but HHH counters into the knee. Rock and Taker tag in, Taker getting a two count off a DDT. Lots of 3:16 signs in the crowd. The fans chant for “Rocky” and Rock goes for a Rock Bottom, stopped by Austin as all four men are in and brawling.

The rest of the Corporate Ministry appear, and we have a disqualification. Test, Ken Shamrock, and Big Show join the battle, and limbs are flying everywhere. We battle down to the original four again as Triple H and Rock fight into the crowd and Austin walks into a chokeslam. Vince McMahon comes out and slugs his son and grabs a chair from Undertaker, who smacks it over his head. It’s the ultimate sacrifice, yells Cornette. Austin pops up and Stunners Taker just to tend things on a good note. Shane runs in and punches the unconscious Vince and looks up to see Austin and the middle fingers, giving him a Stunner as well.

Steve Austin & The Rock defeat Triple H & Undertaker by disqualification. We knew there would be a mess of an ending, so I’m not disappointed. Especially for the pilot, you have to give the viewers chaos. It was fine as far as an actual match.

Austin pours beer on Vince and leaves a beer in front of him as the credits roll.

As an episode of SmackDown in the 1999 vacuum, it works. As the pilot to catch people who don’t know 1999 WWF, I’m not sure it totally works. Sure, it represents the era well, but I’m not sure Val Venis, Nicole Bass, and Prince Albert would have been my choices to try to draw in a crowd. Much like a lot of Attitude Era stuff, there is never a dull moment and it all goes by quickly. You’re not getting twenty minute classics.

Next time, we revisit the first official episode of the show’s run. We’ll time skip a few months ahead to August 1999.