FMW Making Of A New Legend VI 12.12.99 DirecTV PPV

Korakuen Hall
Attendance 2,150

Second half of a double header at the Hall ends FMW’s 1999!

Willie Takayama vs. Naohiko Yamazaki

Willie is Hido doing a silly karate gimmick while his neck heals. He’s taking it seriously though which isn’t playing to his strengths. Yamazaki gives him a German Suplex so I guess his neck is doing better. I hope. Anyway Hido throws some kicks that Yamazaki oversells before he can’t stand up at ten at 4:42. Crowd clapped politely. I didn’t because I needed my hands to type “this sucked.”

Kaori Nakayama vs. Emi Motokawa

We’re JIP to Emi sailing off the top to the outside and OH FUCK absolutely snapping her arm in two upon impact, with it flopping around horribly afterwards. Ref immediately ends the match as she’s lifted via ring mats to the back. Emi gets the mic to presumably tell us all to stay positive, bless her.

Hisakatsu Oya & Yoshinori Sasaki vs. American Dragon & Lance Cade

Oh sweet, we got Oya vs. Danielson? A few years later and this would have been must-see but I’ll take this version. Young Dragon attempts to go hold-for-hold on the mat with Oya because you don’t know what you don’t know I guess. Oya casually ankle locks him around the ring like a parent dragging their lazy toddler around the park until Cade and his “HBK at Survivor Series 2002” hair tag in. What the hell is that thing. Sasaki and Cade show off their wrist work, with Sasaki looking enthusiastic to be taking on someone that’s not Yamazaki. Oya lets him apply a double wristlock before chinlocking him down to the mat with a maniacal grin on his face. Oya and Bryan exchange pleasantries on the mat again with Oya polite enough to let Dragon land the future Cattle Mutilation while pretending to be in pain. Cade (who resembles Glenn Close) sticks to strikes and chinlocks until Sasaki starts landing the big blows to both Yanks. Cade comes back with big boots to set up Dragon flying outside with a frigging springboard swanton.

Dragon lands a Dragon Suplex with Sasaki humorously breaking up with a gentle kick to the leg. Cade delivers a big chokeslam to Oya which gets the crowd panicking. Sasaki tags in to body block Cade but he absorbs it and dares him to try and knock him down which the crowd really dig. Sasaki lands a rough chokeslam due to Cade’s size, with Oya knocking down Dragon to set up the match-winning lariat/backdrop driver…WAIT NO Cade kicks out. Well clearly these two weren’t getting their tapes via the back of WON courtesy of an unjailed paedophile otherwise they would know that’s their finish. Oya murders both of them with Backdrop Drivers while Sasaki makes sure Dragon is kept outside for the win while making both men look strong in the process at 11:50.

One of the few FMW mid card matches in 1999 to have a CageMatch rating. Gee I wonder why. In fairness it was a very solid and promising bout between future greats and current legends, but it’s not like you’d watch this and think “oh obviously he’s headlining Wrestlemania decades later.” Still a hundred times better than whatever else is in the midcard right now, even if watching Danielson vs. Oya is like watching Dicaprio and Thewlis fuck in Total Eclipse.

Ricky Fuji vs. Flying Kid Ichihara

Case in point. Fuji insults Kid’s valet so he lands a Quebrada immediately to send Fuji through the ringside chairs. Kid’s style is so weird, who starts a match with a dive into the crowd? It’s the only impressive move in his arsenal and he blows his load immediately every time. A series of La Magistrals can’t stop Fuji. Kid runs to the chinlocks like they’re the medkits in Half-Life. Commentators start laughing their arse off at something while Kid lands more moonsaults to no reaction because there’s no build or significance to any of them. Kid can do moves but he can’t make anyone care about them. Fuji can, as his Kamikaze nearly ends the match and the crowd pop for it even though it never wins anything. Production keeps cutting to Selena at ringside presumably to hide some botches. Or maybe because she’s the only reason to care about Kid. He misses another moonsault leading to Fuji landing a Sweet Chin Music (with set-up dance and everything) before a STF ends it at 7:09.

I appreciate a mid guy like Fuji way more when he’s against a one-move act like Kid. Fuji may as well have wrestled Ray Jay Johnson Jr.

Oh because Kid loses every week, Selena decides to leave with Fuji. She doesn’t seem thrilled.

Kintaro Kanemura & Koji Nakagawa & Jado & Gedo (Team No Respect) vs. Balls Mahoney & Axl Rotten & Yoshihiro Tajiri & Super Crazy (ECW)

Kanemura makes dumb jokes that the crowd appreciate. He’s getting really over by being himself. Axl Rotten is representing ECW but the day after this he’d wrestle his last match for them. So technically correct (the best kind of correct).

TNR bum rush the Extremists during the announcements which ends badly as Kanemura takes a Balls DDT onto a chair before everyone brawls outside and bites foreheads. Tajiri and Crazy land stereo Asai Moonsaults into the crowd in a lovely visual. While Tajiri is hamming it up for the cameras, Kanemura launches him into the fans. Everyone goes everywhere at once like that film with the talking rocks and sausage fingers. Back in the ring, Gedo challenges Tajiri to a strike battle which doesn’t last long as the Handspring and Octopus Stretch-into-a-Tarantula end him. Crazy annoys Jado with fake outs, leading to Koji smashing him from behind.

This resets the match into having tags again. There’s little heat compared to the Battlarts interpromotional feud because the fans really like the ECW wrestlers and want to see the spots. Crazy gets his leg worked over while Kanemura flips off the opponents. Balls keeps trying to interfere so Koji and Jado sit in a casual double-team stretch, looking casual. It’s been a while since TNR got to be disrespectful in a team manner and also genuine heels. Kanemura cuts off Crazy’s attempt at tagging out with a cheeky eye poke. Balls gets the fans to chant for “ECW” which Kanemura mocks by yelling it while he legdrops Crazy. Crazy finally tags in Balls who knocks Kanemura down with a mighty superkick before slamming him through a table off the apron. Like last time, Balls is smart enough to not attempt the Nutcracker Suite through one of those sturdy bastards. Kanemura kicks out so Crazy tags back in to land The Trifecta! Three moonsaults! They mean less the more you do them! He immediately tags in Tajiri cos he’s got nothing after that. Tajiri mists Kanemura to the fan’s delight. Balls saves and tries to get a pin from a falling punch off the second rope. Huh. Everyone brawls outside to set up Kanemura taking chair shots from Axl & Balls. The Hardcore Chair-Swingin’ Freaks attempt a ridiculous move where they charge with their chairs by their sides to squish Kanemura who dodges the Bushwhacker tactics so he can pin Axl with a big back senton at 13:19.

Inoffensive brawl that served as an advert for ECW which we’ll be seeing more of in the upcoming months. Crowd were very into the spots but not the match so it was decent but nothing more.

Speaking of which, Axl says they’re coming back with barbed wire, thumbtacks and fire. Well those might be coming back but he ain’t.

H & Mr. Gannosuke vs. Masato Tanaka & Tetsuhiro Kuroda

Oh this should be good. H & Gannosuke are the tag champs but this match is Non Title which is kind of bullshit considering H & Gannosuke got a tag title match in their first match together. Then again, the story right now is “Tanaka is pissed at H & Gannosuke being friends after months of torment” so it makes sense to rile up the WEW World Champion some more.

Tanaka and Gannosuke tangle on the mat with great intensity. This is the section of the match where there’s much feeling out and even though H and Kuroda also go at it, Tanaka and Gannosuke are tremendous with their yelling and movement to make it exciting despite being superfluous. Kuroda continues to get the spot where he slams a leg around a ring post but stops at the third one to ask a fan a question. It’s fine for the start of the match, as is the follow up Running Crowd Lariat (1) on H & Gannosuke.

Back inside, H runs directly into a Kuroda Lariat (2) leading to some taunts from the spam machine. Tanaka is not here to taunt though as he goes from Brock Locks to Figure Fours on both opponents while looking miserable. Kuroda continues to taunt which causes the fans to laugh at him which is not what we want from a serious main event. Tanaka sends Gannosuke flying with a fast Dragon Screw leg whip but Gannosuke has enough so he mule kicks Tanaka directly in front of the ref (hey idiot, that’s a DQ now) but everyone ignores it to let H and his whore jeans tag in and land a cozy Tope Con Hilo to Tanaka. Fisherman’s Buster gets two on Tanaka so H continues firing moves at him until Gannosuke has recovered enough.

Kuroda tags in so Gannosuke delivers a German Suplex, which Kuroda no sells into another German Suplex which Kuroda no sells to attempt a Lariat, but Gannosuke knows it’s coming so he cuts him off to allow H & Gannosuke to double dropkick him. Well that was rewarding for people watching these matches. H tries a springboard but lands directly into a Lariat (3) for two. H then attempts to German Suplex Tanaka but Tanaka Can’t Feel Pain and instead drops H with a clunky Splash Mountain for two. Kuroda German Suplexes and Lariats (4) H for two as the big moves are coming in now.

H gets bonked on the top rope by Kuroda, but he’s only stunned and is able to tag out to a missile dropkick firing Gannosuke. Praying Powerbomb can’t end Tanaka, with his follow-up clothesline getting converted into a sneaky Gannosuke Clutch for two. I love the Clutch counters. H comes back with a spinning wheel kick off the top to Kuroda. Tanaka takes a German Suplex which he ignores but his follow-up No Sell Charge is converted into a Dragon Suplex for a very close two as Tanaka looks a little slow to get up. Double H Bomb is broken up by Kuroda to set up H going up top…which is intercepted by Tanaka who delivers the move he only gives to H: The Reverse Superplex. It looks deadly but H somehow kicks out to the anguished pains of the fans. Tanaka stunner/DDTs both lads before yelling to charge his elbow. Tanaka uses it to deflect a H kick and to deliver a Rolling Elbow but it still won’t put away the champs.

Kuroda and Tanaka land moves off the top with Gannosuke doing a fantastic charge from the outside to break it up. We’re at the It Can End At Any Point part of the match. Kuroda/Tanaka’s trademark elevated stunner looks lovely but Gannosuke breaks it up yet again. Enraged, Tanaka slams a chair into his face and lands the Diamond Dust! However, he isn’t legal so Kuroda fires another Lariat (5) which…H kicks out of. Crowd are yelling now. Kuroda attempts a Sunset Flip powerbomb but H Frankensteiners out of it leading to Kuroda directly into a Shotei and a Tiger Driver but even THAT scarily high-placed move can’t put him away.

H heads up top for a Firebird Splash but you’re not Hayabusa so Tanaka breaks it up. Gannosuke smartly holds Tanaka in place until H is ready to land the H Edge but his alleged finishing move can’t end Kuroda. So instead, H drops him with his brand new move the H Thunder (Emerald Flowsion) at 24:32.

Match was the same slow-building-to-a-crazy climax Greek Music style tag match we’ve been having for a while but I’m not complaining. I’ve been missing them now they’re not as regular as they were, even if H is a bad replacement for Hayabusa. The match wasn’t on the same level as the match yesterday but at the same time it meant more and is going to lead to more so I like it for different reasons. Speaking of which…

As everyone goes to shake hands, Tanaka bashes H for forgiving Gannosuke so easily after all the bullshit (fireworks up the arse and whatnot) and that H & Gannosuke were idiots and FMW is turning into a promotion for “pussies”. Tanaka then pulls out a ECW shirt and leaves with Balls Mahoney and Axl Rotten. An upset Kuroda shakes H & Gannosuke’s hands because he wasn’t asked to appear in ECW he’s loyal to FMW.

Tanaka would win the ECW World title a few weeks later to become one of the few wrestlers in history to be the world champion of two promotions at once (if the new WEW belt counts as a World Title. I love Tanaka so I’m saying it does). He joins the likes of Vader, Kenny Omega, Kojima, Muta, Angle and Fujinami. So yeah maybe he was right, proof is in the pussy pudding.

Anyway I’m pretty sure the ECW Japan stable was set up so FMW could sell ECW shirts and have them fly off the shelves like the nWo ones did for NJPW because FMW really really needs the money right now.

Overall: Great main event, plots being advanced, the ECW guys guest-starring as well as baby Bryan and Cade. Not an essential show but an interesting one which seems to be as good as FMW can be during this porn-obsessed period.

Next week: It’s the end of another amazing year so let’s watch something else because you need variety in your life.

I’ve been Maffew