FMW Making Of A New Legend V 12.11.99 DirecTV PPV

Korakuen Hall
Attendance 2,150

It’s the show after the biggest event of the year! But it bombed horribly and the company is now in massive debt! Oh.

OK quick recap of the big Yokohama Show:

• Chocoball Mukai, Flying Kid Ichihara and Ricky Fuji became the new WEW Six Man Street Fight champions in a nothing match for nothing titles.
• Emi Motokawa and Kaori Nakayama defeated Jazz & Malia Hosaka & Miss Mongol because the ECW relationship is back on.
• Willie Williams beat Hido to continue Hido’s silly karate gimmick while he recovers from a bad neck.
• The Funk Brothers beat some young uns in Terry’s last FMW appearance.
• Kintaro Kanemura defended his new WEW Hardcore Title against Balls Mahoney in a thrilling brawl.
• Hisakatsu Oya and Tetsuhiro Kuroda beat Tommy Dreamer and Raven in a match I bet neither man remembers happening.
• Tanaka ended his feud with Fuyuki to win the WEW World Heavyweight Title and to remove the big man from FMW.
• H beat “Hayabusa” with coked up ref Shawn Michaels doing his best to ruin things.
• The show did not do well financially at all, FMW is officially in a bad place. Also the show itself was poor, with only the Tanaka and Kanemura matches worth seeking out.

H starts the show with his newer, shorter haircut because the amount of bleach he was applying was killing it slowly. He says hi then leaves. Well OK then.

As part of HBK refereeing the FMW show last month, he requested two of his students fly over and get some experience. I’m surprised HBK was sober enough to remember he had students so please welcome…

American Dragon & Lance Cade vs. Yoshinori Sasaki & Naohiko Yamazaki

Both Texas lads head out to the dulcet tones of Kid Rock’s Bawitdaba because of course.

Dragon shows what he already knows with a headscissors on Yamazaki which he’s forced to counter and do something about. Yamazaki & Sasaki both control’s Cade’s wrist for a bit. Dragon comes in to ignore a spinal tap kick to the back before him and Yamazaki go chop-crazy. Dragon looks really up for this despite his inexperience. Dragon keeps attacking until Sasaki comes in and slams him with an elevated Brock Lock. Dragon backflips over a charging Yamazaki and out of nowhere lands a very graceful springboard moonsault to the outside!

Cade follows with a tope onto Sasaki as the crowd voices their approval. Cade lands a Stinger Splash and a big boot as he continues to pretend to be massive. Snap suplex sets up a diving elbow from Dragon but he’s so light the impact sounds like rainfall. An unimpressed Sasaki shoulder tackles Dragon down landing his trademark chokeslam. Cade breaks up the pin meaning Yamazaki’s follow ups can’t end the match either. Dragon lands a superplex on Sasaki which lets Cade drop him with a Powerbomb (barely) and letting Dragon finish with the Dragon Suplex at 10:15!

Very good considering the newness of the pair with Dragon showing a glimpse of what he’d become.

Hido says a few words and reveals he’s had his first shave in years. Glad to hear it.

Kaori Nakayama vs. Emi Motokawa

Zero reaction for either wrestler. Kaori sneak attacks during the entrances with Emi retaliating with very loud yelling and dropkicks. Kaori does a legdrop, they battle over a slam and trade La Magitrals. German suplex is countered into a missile dropkick but Kaori ignores it to end the match at 2:31 with a Northern Lights Pin. Well they worked quick even if the crowd didn’t care.

Kaori asks Arai something after the match, presumably “why does FMW have a women’s division right now?”

WEW 6 Man Tag Team Titles

Ricky Fuji & Flying Kid Ichihara & Chocoball Mukai (c) vs. Koji Nakagawa & Jado & Gedo

The champions first defence. Weird that Chocoball has won a title almost instantly because he’s got that porn popularity. It’s only the six man title though which isn’t worth as much as the AEW equivalent.

Gedo and Fuji go through stuff and have enough chemistry for a hot minute. Everyone else busts out a Hart Attack from the second rope onto Chocoball as I notice how low quality the ringside cameras are. They’re shaking like a shitting dog. Jado delivers a massive German Suplex on Chocoball, where he flies so much he lands on his ankles. Superbomb to the superpornstar followed by a big lariat and…that’s it for the titles? At 9:38? Oh a lot got cut out of that. Literally a minute of the start and then the ending.

Post-match Gedo laughs in Fuji’s face a like a proper dick before everyone leaves during the announcement that they won.

Yoshihiro Tajiri vs. Super Crazy

Oh! This is only their 53rd match against one another so I’m expecting some sloppiness and inexperience.

Tajiri is all character as usual, missing some kicks before Crazy wins a test of strength. He attempts to shove his weight onto Tajiri who turns into a snapping Frankensteiner to the crowd’s delight. And they keep going, with an armdrag sending Tajiri into a spinning screaming headscissors before we get the indie stand off and E-C-DUB chants cos this crowd wasn’t going to chant B-J-DUB. Tajiri is respectful but sneaks a headkick while faking a handshake. Tajiri grins before sailing effortlessly over the ropes with a beautiful tope. Crazy returns to the ring with a double jump moonsault and a stalling tilt-a-whirl. Crazy lands an American Dragon style moonsault to the outside for more crowd love. Tajiri recovers quickly to try a sunset flip but then turn it into the Tarantula. Ah I remember when that was the set-up. Tajiri flips everyone off and they applaud it. Vicious Tree Of Woe can’t slow down Crazy who puts his eye back into place to Mexican Surfboard Tajiri around the canvas. Crazy thinks he’s got the advantage so Tajiri busts out the Handspring to remind him of reality. Crazy disagrees and lands the crazy Trifecta three moonsault sequence which always seemed like a lot of effort for little reward. Spinning Powerbomb can’t put Taj away but crowd don’t care. Crazy tries again but it gets sent into a Tornado DDT instead. Tajiri matrixes out of a Frankensteiner to win via Dragon Suplex at 7:20.

Like AC/DC songs, I don’t recall these two producing anything bad over the decades so why should they start now? Fan-fucking-tastic as always and didn’t feel truncated even though it was “just” the greatest hits.

WEW Hardcore Title

Kintaro Kanemura (c) vs. Axl Rotten

Kanemura’s second defence of the title he was awarded by Fuyuki. I love that ECW is sending Axl, a guy so valuable to them he’s about to lose a Loser Leaves The Company match and then never be seen again. Kanemura asks him in English if he wants a blowjob. I don’t think that came out the way he wanted (phrasing).

Axl reminds everyone he’s from E-C-W (for literally two more days) so Kanemura does a camp jump to the fan’s laughter. He then sells groin strain from being so athletic because this was a man who understood the assignment. Kanemura throws a chair into Axl’s hands so he can dropkick him but Axl shrugs it off to lariat Kanemura into busting out the Jannetty/Goldust/Rikishi sell early. Kanemura uses a fork so Axl can start bleeding, which makes Kanemura feeling left out so he starts bleeding too. They head into the crowd with Kanemura flying off a doorway to clothesline Axl who doesn’t fall over. He instead powerbombs Kanemura through a table which the nearby fans approve of.

Axl and Kanemura start lobbing chairs into the ring so the canvas is filled with them, allowing Axl to superplex Kanemura onto a ton of them for two. Axl misses an elbow off the second rope so Kanemura does a version of Fuyuki’s Yelling Lariat (with the crowd chanting along with the “ah ah ah!”). This is enough for Kanemura to set up a ladder and deliver a crazy-high back senton through a table (only just clipping Axl on the way down) to retain at 13:48.

I never rated Axl so it looked like Kanemura was going to have to do everything but Axl eventually came around and took his lumps so I’ll give him that. This was still all Kanemura being loved for his dumb antics and dumber bumps and I’ll appreciate him for that.

Masato Tanaka vs. Balls Mahoney

Tanaka’s best feud in ECW was obviously Mike Awesome but second place was easily Balls. Speaking of balls: the idea of having these two similar matches back to back.

Axl accompanies Balls to the ring so he can bounce two pay cheques. Pace starts moderate with Tanaka happy to take Balls’ lariats and powerslams. It’s more Western that usual which is fine for variety. Tanaka suplerplexes Balls before Tanaka sails over the top rope and into Balls’ waiting hands to get dunked into the ring post. We brawl into the bleachers so Tanaka can dump a bin over Balls’ head and smash it with a chair. Axl interferes so Balls can chair shot Tanaka in the back. Tanaka Cannot Be Hurt so he sets up a table even with Balls stabbing him in the head so he can take a scoop slam off the bleachers through a table cos Balls was absolutely not going to do the Nutcracker Suite through a Japanese Table. Back in the ring, we get the chair duel re-enactment! Just like the first time, Balls takes one and no-sells, then Tanaka takes a HUGE one and also no-sells.

Crowd cheer wildly. Chairs get thrown into the ring (we just saw that in the previous match dammit) which sends Balls into the canvas with a DDT. Rolling Elbow into a chair doesn’t put Balls away and he sells it like crap anyway. Tanaka jumps into a Balls’ sidekick which looked lovely but it can’t hurt him. Balls misses a legdrop which allows Tanaka to land a flying chair drop onto Balls for the win at 13:34.

A solid match that was far from either man’s best. Lack of crowd love hurt it as well as being placed immediately after a similar style match with identical spots.

Post-match the former ECW tag champions and Axl (who I think was supposed to win the belts with Balls but didn’t and I can’t recall why) hug.

WEW Tag Team Titles

H & Mr. Gannosuke (c) vs. Tetsuhiro Kuroda & Hisakatsu Oya

Gannosuke & H embraced after their big match last month, which resulted in them teaming up on 1st December to defeat Tetsuhiro Kuroda & Hisakatsu Oya for the belts.

However, WEW World Champion Masato Tanaka would complain at how Gannosuke was not only forgiven for his actions earlier this year but also rewarded a tag title shot in their first outing as a team? Hey that’s a perfectly reasonable reason for a heel turn! He shoved a M-320 up your arse mate!

At least winning the tag titles is a step in the right direction because it’s getting away from firecrackers and dodgy porn. Kuroda and H start off with mat wrestling, the seriousness of which is greatly diminished by H’s Liv Morgan style cut jeans. H wins the exchange with a Northern Lights so Kuroda casually Lariats (1) him.

H can’t get anywhere with Oya’s mat wrestling so he tags in Gannosuke so he can suffer instead. Kuroda joins in too as everyone has a go at doing armbars and leg locks for a bit. Oya keeps messing with whatever Gannosuke has planned for him and the crowd eagerly lap it up. Kuroda works on H’s legs even though he doesn’t dive much anymore cos you can never be too careful. Gannosuke tries to stop him so he takes a Lariat (2).

Oya sticks with the leg work on H with lovely holds. Gannosuke again tries to stop him but he’s some friend as he can’t do a damn thing as this match is definitely going long. H finally escapes the city of Leglockia to tag in Gannosuke who batters both lads. Kuroda tries for a lariat but it’s blocked, with Gannosuke’s attempt grabbed and converted into a Russian Leg Sweep. That was nice. Falcon Arrow doesn’t put Kuroda away but it allows him to tag in Oya who missile dropkicks H right in the bastard face. H gets mad and lands a Hayabusa style Frankensteiner before a Fisherman’s Buster gets two. Arabian moonsault and Butterfly suplex can’t end Oya but reminds us of H’s new move set.

Kuroda Lariats (3) a pesky H away so Oya can land his extremely casual top rope knee drop. Oya sticks Gannosuke in the Abominable Stretch which causes the crowd to chant Gannosuke’s name to give him strength. That’s impressive. Gannosuke backdrops out of it which results in him getting shoved in an armbar because Oya too good. Gannosuke can’t do anything without Oya putting him in a hold which is very nice. Kuroda tags in for a Lariat (4) which can’t end Gannosuke so we’ll probably see more. Gannosuke can barely stand but he still counters another lariat attempt into a Gannosuke Clutch! Which is rolled out of and Lariat’d (5).

Oya throws enziguris at a dead Gannosuke but he clotheslines Oya in response and tags in a fresh H…who gets a lariat from Oya. German Suplex merely stuns H but a Sunset Flip Powerbomb off the top rope nearly ends it with Gannosuke breaking it up. Oya enziguris him out the ring which leaves H to shotei Kuroda…into a Lariat (6) on H. A running Lariat (7)/German Suplex combo nearly pins H but Gannosuke frantically saves the day as the crowd are making loud worried noises. Oya drops H with a backdrop but Gannosuke is using all his energy to keep breaking up all these pins. H masters the strength to shotei Oya and land a 450 Firebird Splash…for two? Gannosuke and H land a double H Edge and THAT doesn’t end it either as Kuroda breaks it up?? H lands a flying spinning kick to Kuroda, which leads into Oya missing an enziguri and taking a man-sized lariat from Gannosuke which ALSO doesn’t end it. Gannosuke then dumps Oya with the Fire Thunder Driver while H holds Kuroda down to finally retain at 23:34.

Phew! This started off typically slow and with the usual leg and arm work that doesn’t go anywhere but atypically, the crowd were into it from the start rather than waiting for the cool spots to start occurring. The fans were getting worried over Abominable Stretches for God’s sake. Even then it wasn’t great action until it started really picking the fuck up in the last few minutes with everyone throwing bombs at one another until they ran out. So yeah, I enjoyed this the longer it went on with the climax resembling a Sam Peckinpah ending.

After the match, Kuroda announces he’s challenging them both tomorrow but with Tanaka as his tag partner, aka the guy he was able to win the tag titles earlier in the year with. Oooo. OK I like that and it makes complete sense! I don’t ask for much.

Overall: If you like Kanemura leg dropping the floor so he can barely senton Axl Rotten then you’ll like this show.

Next week: The second half of a double header at the Hall, featuring Tanaka getting mad! Because he’s reading the results.

I’ve been Maffew