Tooned In : A Pup Named Scooby-Doo (wrestling episode)

Welcome to, I dunno, That’s Sports Entertoonment Golden Retriever! (We’re in the symbols instead of numbers era, like the 2010s WrestleManias, as promised…)

Your Random Story of the Day: Thanks to It Was A Thing On TV’s review of Roll Out, I now know that the guy who played Curly in the Harlem Globetrotters’ Hanna-Barbera appearances was arrested for threatening someone with an ax at a restaurant. Serious stuff, but it takes a somewhat humorous edge when you realize the restaurant was owned by Alan Hale Jr., and the person being chased was the Skipper himself.

So the new fall season on MeTV Toons is here. TMNT reruns being there I love of course. Linus the Lionhearted is…fine. Not really cutting edge animation humor like Jay Ward, and it’s mostly interesting because of the novelty of seeing it on TV after decades. Where’s Huddles can be added to the “Flintstones, Except…” trope, as it’s basically The Flintstones, Except With Football. The sidekick’s even voiced by Mel Blanc, while Huddles himself sounds vaguely like Alan Reed (who plays ANOTHER character on the show). I do know from this video that they were going to try to create a Flintstones where Fred and Barney, et al actually live in the 1970s, I wonder if this was a modification of this idea, or gave Hanna-Barbera the thought of trying it?

And speaking of the Timelords from the town of Bedrock, here’s something I somehow did not notice when watching Scooby-Doo: Mystery Incorporated…

Score another for all the “it’s somehow not really the stone age!” theories.

Now, we interrupt the Rock ‘n’ Wrestling reviews of the last couple weeks, and for the better, as the Rock ‘n’ Zombies episode would be me pausing the video at the appropriate spot and just doing a William Regal impersonation for the rest of the article. So instead, we will be going to something that’s even more cartoony and exaggerated than late ‘80s WWF: A Pup Named Scooby-Doo.

(Timeout to jam to the theme song…)

WRESTLE MANIACS

Scoo-BEE, Doo-BEE…and we’re at a Coolsville Wrestling Federation show with the gang, and Shaggy and Scooby are dressed as Commander Cool and Mellow Mutt. Aren’t those also their favorite comic book characters too? The CWF must be the equivalent of a lucha company then. Or they’re as clueless as Jim Herd was when he made Arachnaman. Daphne says they look like two “geekoids,” and oddly enough, there was a masked jobber team in 1992 Global called the Geekoids. If we ever get back to Supercard reviews, you’ll see. Anyway, Freddy’s attention is diverted by a fight by the concession stand. Ah, so Coolsville is actually Memphis? “CWF” is ALMOST the same as “CWA,” after all. We get the ball rolling on our plot when Carol Colossal, also owner of Colossal Toys is on hand, since her toy company bought the CWF. She makes reference to her secretary Barbara working on prison release permit (hence her still wearing a striped outfit) after trying to scare everyone out of her factory. Was this an actual previous episode? If so, this would make Pup the first Scooby series with continuity too! In the ring, there’s Baron Scuzzball, a – you guessed it – typical bald wrestler, going against the Coolsville Comet, when a hole in the ring drops the Comet as a monstrous figure in a cow mask appears. Mantaur is back and he wants revenge!!

The title card has the “We now return to A Pup Named Scooby…” song variant, and is just as catchy. So the bovine brawler, now identified as the ghost of the Hooded Heifer (but he’s not a cow, HE’S A STEER!), has accosted Shaggy and Scooby, who escape when they use their patented Commander Cool Cow Repellant spray, which is actually barbecue sauce. Comet is still on hand, and he tells the story of how the Heifer was banned from the CWF for excessive yet cartoony violence, notable for featuring one of the writers getting their name mentioned in a sight gag, on a street sign for “Raichert Lane” (reversed, it’s his name). All the while, Velma of course pulls out her computer to take down clues. Either that or I THINK RSPW was actually a thing in 1988 too, only we didn’t know it because the internet was barely public, and Velma was writing how she gave Scuzzball vs. Comet *½ because of the cop-out ending and over the top selling. On his way out, the gang notices Comet has a remote control, which he explains he’ll use during vacation to watch more wrestling. That’s how I spent a lot of my vacations growing up too.

With a ghost wrestler at large, we have yet another kooky mystery. Shaggy and Scooby as always try to chicken out, this time having a phone booth appear out of nowhere so they can remove their superhero costumes and thus have no obligation to save the day. It’s only when they’re reminded that no CWF means no Colossal Toys that they jump back in and turn back into Cool and Mellow. And just in time to find the first clue: a cancelled check, signed by…PAUL HEYMAN! No, actually, it’s a “Herbert Blaum.” Before anyone can ruminate on this, a cross-dressing wrestler barges in: Little Bo Peter, who also described himself as the world’s biggest wrestling fan. But he too hates barbecue sauce. And just as importantly, he has a bone to pick with Carol Colossal, because he wanted to become a wrestler himself, but she laughed off his character, and so he’s joining the competing wrestling company: the Swindleson Brothers’ Wrestling Federation. The gang investigates their headquarters, and they ran out of Mellow Mutt Munchies, but Scooby Snacks still work. Way to break character, Scoob! Him and Shaggy do their usual routine of fooling the ghost with disguises, this time being vendors who literally heap CWA merch on the Hooded Heifer. One of which was an official CWA bowling ball, which in turn brings to mind of all things the disastrous appearance of Chyna on The Howard Stern Show where she complained that “Vince McDick” owed her “ass kissing royalty checks” for pool sticks and bowling balls. I never saw a WWF bowling ball of any kind myself, so like most of the show, I was like, “What?”

Eventually, the gang meet the Swindlesons, Morty and Marty, who also hate barbecue sauce. They’re also from New York…was Ted Turner in charge of Hanna-Barbera yet? They introduce their headline star, Neville. Nope, not a deceptively strong, high-flying Bastard; rather, a skinny, balding accountant. Fred can’t believe it, he probably also believed Kevin Nash and Hulk Hogan calling Kidman, Eddie, and Dean “vanilla midgets”. And it’s not like some shyster accountant could ever make it in wrestling. Hooded Heifer returns yet again, and this time Shaggy and Scooby confuse him while acting as matadors, and…wait a minute. Matadors? Basically, IRS? A half man, half cow? A PUP NAMED SCOOBY-DOO HAS MATT GROENING POWERS OF PREDICTING WRESTLECRAP!!!! In the fracas, the ghost drops a letter from Baron Scuzzball, is it a clue too? I don’t know about that, but I do know that he too hates barbecue sauce. His beef with Carol is over not allowing him to cheat…but the letter wasn’t about that. It was an apology to his mother for beating her up…no, don’t get triggered. The Baron’s mother was the famous women’s wrestler, Granny Gator, who’s here to continue scrapping with her son. Hooded Heifer is back to lead to our musical chase scene, which, since it’s A Pup Named Scooby-Doo, also includes dancing in various Peanuts-inspired styles. After all the chasing’s over, Scoob somehow has the Heifer’s glowing (this could become important later…) cowbell, leading to a typical cartoon wrestling match between the two that ends up with the Heifer getting the Andre Special into the ropes. Daphne: “I guess you proved you weren’t a COW-ard!” Insert Shaggy and Scooby laughing…then deadpanning, “We don’t get it” (A typical APNSD and later Scooby series running gag). But enough of that, it’s time to find out who the ghost really was…

Carol, Daphne, and Shaggy go through all the suspects, which involves a cameo by Daphne’s butler Jenkins, who models Little Bo Peter’s outfit to remind us how ridiculous they thought it was. But forget it, RED HERRING IS HERE! He challenges Freddy to a match and if he loses, he’ll admit he did it. Of course he can’t resist, and off-screen gets trounced. Just in time for Velma to reveal that the Heifer was actually…Herbert Blaum. Who had a second disguise as…COOLSVILLE COMET. I knew it because his character was glowing inexplicably, just like the cowbell. That and, according to Velma exposition, his handwriting matched the envelope the Baron’s letter was in. He used the remote control to cause the hole in the ring in the first scene too. Apparently he wanted to buy the CWF before Carol did, and he would have if etc. etc. etc. with the variant being “you lame superheroes” directed at Scooby and Shaggy. For their reward, the kids get front row CWF seats, and Commander Cool and Mellow Mutt I guess are their dancing mascots. Except Scooby can’t resist giving his tagline when Shaggy mentions “A pup named…”

What do I get out of this episode? Scooby-Doo would be a terrible pro wrestler because he can’t keep character. Send for the man, indeed. Didn’t stop the gang from trying it again in the future, though, even with the actual WWE!

Until next time, buy your WCW videos and enjoy the matches of Robocop, the Flying Brain, and the Great Manta…