FMW Haunted House 08.20.99 DirecTV

Korakuen Hall
Attendance 2,100

Previously In FMW…

Tonight is a Halloween special because it’s August.

Ricky Fuji vs. Shoichi Arai

Ricky is finally getting his match with the corrupt company owner Arai. Well, maybe. Arai is wearing a mask and a wig and a big robe so Fuji isn’t convinced it’s Arai so he makes him speak. Arai speaks and…yeah it is him. Fuji is fine with that and punches him, leading to Special Guest Ref Fuyuki stepping in. Fuji pushes him over because he’s wearing Crow facepaint so he’s all about vengeance. Audio of a baby crying plays over the speakers to distract Fuji (that’s one way to do it) allowing Arai to make the switcheroo with another masked guy who is suddenly very agile. A guy dressed as Ghostface from Scream distracts Fuyuki, allowing Arai to re-enter the match and bash Fuji with a big stick for the win at 3:45.

This was a bad joke but the crowd got it and it was at least kept brief. It wasn’t high art but I get a dumb kick out of Japanese companies role-playing American rubbish. And when FMW tries to be rubbish they succeed every time.

Post-match, Giant Steele (of Land Of The Giants fame) chokeslams Fuji. Try and contain your excitement.

Jado vs. Flying Kid Ichihara

Kid’s valet continues to tease his opponents, this time going as far as hugging Jado, allowing Kid to get a sneaky small package to nearly win the match immediately. Crowd were hoping that would be it but no such luck. Jado lands an Atomic Drop and scores the win with the Texas Cloverleaf which is somehow listed on CageMatch as 10:42 but I didn’t notice any cuts. Maybe they rang the bell before the entrances?

Jado wins so I think as a result of a pre-match stipulation, Kid’s valet strips. Ah, no wonder the crowd weren’t reacting for Kid’s pin attempts. Kid interrupts before this gets too risqué to massive boos. I couldn’t unhear Hey Man Nice Shot and Heyman’s voice yelling during this.

Darkside Hayabusa & Tetsuhiro Kuroda & Hisakatsu Oya vs. Koji Nakagawa & Yukihiro Kanemura & Hido (Team No Respect)

It’s the second and last appearance of the Darkside gimmick that Hayabusa hated because the horns got in the way. He had a bloody horrible match at the Welcome To Darkside PPV in ’98 so I think he wanted to have at least one passable match to remove the bad smell. Also he’s dyed his hair orange and is getting to show off his new tattoo (the one on his chest of a wing).

Oya is also in his second appearance of wearing a kimono whilst accompanied by a singer. I couldn’t find the song online but it’s pretty nice.

Kuroda starts by smashing a giant bamboo stick over Kanemura. Kanemura then attempts to catch it while kneeling like a trained Samurai but he misses completely. Crowd really liked that, only a big lug like him could have made that work (and agree to take bamboo shot to the head).

We clip ahead to Koji attempting to escape an Oya chinlock by grabbing his hair but HE’S BALD NOW. Crowd love that. Oya should have shaved years ago. Oya dominates Hido on the mat because he’s very good at that. It’s a relief he’s not removed his wrestling ability because he’s shiny now. Darkside finally tags in to smash a big bamboo stick over Hido because there’s no heat. TNR guys brawl on the outside to reveal there’s a big coffin at ringside that is filled with snacks for some reason. Kanemura gets dumped in it so he can emerge from it, eating the contents. The three front row fans who could see that spot really liked it.

Kuroda locks in a Figure Four leg lock on Hido while Darkside walks around with a human hand in his mouth. This is an odd match so far that doesn’t have any tension or heat or anything. Kanemura hot tags in to run wild on the good guys cos he’s full of snacks. Koji attempts to stick half a lamp onto Kuroda to distract him enough for a small package. It’s a big ropey. Kuroda takes an exploder suplex into a pile of sticks to finally give the crowd something to enjoy. Darkside lands an Asai Moonsault onto Hido before meeting his knees. Kuroda saves with lariats. We dilly dally a bit until Hido splats Darkside with a piledriver as this is going nowhere. Darkside spits mist in Hido’s face to finally end this with a Firebird Splash at 19:46.

There was a startling lack of chemistry between these guys considering how often they’d wrestled one another. The gimmicks and Darkside gimmick hindered rather than helped the action, with Hayabusa looking disappointed afterwards. Crowd barely reacted too so this is a weird curiosity at best.

Boy that Darkside gimmick sure was a success huh?

WEW Independent Title

Mr. Gannosuke vs. Masato Tanaka

Oh it’s the first appearance of the WEW Independent Title in months because Fuyuki split the Double Titles and gave Gannosuke one part of it. Speaking of which, Fuyuki makes himself the ref for this match too and reminds us that Tanaka is fired if he loses. No pressure mate.

Gannosuke slaps Tanaka but Fuyuki of course prevents Tanaka from getting an advantage in the ropes. The pair of them mat wrestle very quickly and smoothly to the fan’s delight. Tanaka chinlocks Gannosuke, with Fuyuki calling it a choke and breaking it up. Gannosuke blatantly eye rakes Tanaka and gets away with it but Tanaka can’t be hurt so he dropkicks Gannosuke.

We clip ahead to Gannosuke applying a Fujiwara Armbar, with Tanaka frantically trying to escape and reaching the ropes. Tanaka’s selling is wonderful, managing to somehow take bumps while on the mat. Kanemura throws a chair into the ring, Tanaka tries to elbow Gannosuke but he merely holds the chair up. The crowd’s yell really made that moment. Gannosuke sinks in a deep armbar that has Tanaka howling before slamming his body onto it to continue demonstrating all the armbars Gannosuke knows. Tanaka manages to roll it into a pin but Fuyuki is slow to realise. Tanaka manages a quick release powerbomb but that puts him in prime armbar position so Gannosuke continues stretching. Fuyuki politely asks Gannosuke to break after he reaches the ropes but isn’t too fussy. Tanaka knocks a chair from Gannosuke by knocking him on the side because he learned from earlier, allowing him to land a running elbow and Tornado DDT. Tanaka struggles to get to the top rope due to his bad arm (yes!) but he just about gets up top before immediately landing a Frog Splash. To Gannosuke’s knees. Tanaka kicks out of a quick count to the crowd’s chagrin as their displeasure is increasing.

Gannosuke keeps the pressure on by dropping Tanaka repeatedly with powerbombs but You Can’t Hurt Tanaka who lariats Gannosuke with his bad arm. Fire Thunder Powerbomb to Gannosuke only gets two cos Tanaka is too busy selling his unbreakable arse off. DVD sets up the Diamond Dust but Tanaka’s arm hurts too much so he can’t roll over, so Gannosuke stands up…only for Tanaka to charge him with a running elbow! For two. Crowd are getting more annoyed at Fuyuki’s ability to count. Gannosuke counters a powerbomb attempt into a sit-out backdrop and Tanaka’s poor damn head eats all the shit there.

Fuyuki fast counts but Tanaka kicks out but his eyes are glazed over. He still manages to kick out of a Northern Lights as the crowd sound worried. Dragon Suplex appears to actually hurt Tanaka leading him to get stuck in the Nirvana Clutch as the crowd are getting louder and louder. He still makes the ropes. Gannosuke’s Fire Thunder Driver drops him yet again onto his skull but Tanaka kicks out again. Tanaka has enough and no-sells a German Suplex to drop Gannosuke with a Backdrop Suplex…but Gannosuke no-sells that to charge him with a lariat…which Tanaka no-sells to land another Running Elbow…which Gannosuke no-sells with both men meeting in the middle with a lariat each but neither falling. Tanaka is the stronger one and blasts Gannosuke with a lariat strong enough to knock him down, but not out. Tanaka sets up the Diamond Dust again, but Gannosuke wriggles out and accidentally lariats Fuyuki! Crowd explode at that. Gannosuke ducks Tanaka so Fuyuki takes an elbow too.

Gannosuke lands the Clutch for a close two as the replacement ref runs out, leading to Tanaka land his own Clutch for another close two. Crowd are wild now. Gannosuke grabs Tanaka’s elbow with the intention of locking in another Clutch, but Tanaka spins him around and into an elbow which the crowd goes crazy for. Gannosuke kicks out and crowd are furious. Diamond Dust connects afterwards and that’s enough at 20:51 to make Tanaka the new WEW Independent champion.

Cruelly, this was the last recorded singles match between the two.

Tanaka challenges Fuyuki to a match at the 10th Anniversary Show but he tells him to “piss off” and leaves.

Overall: Yeah you can ignore the rest of the card unless you want to see how fascinatingly bad Puro can be when it tries, but definitely check out that main event to see how good Tanaka is at selling/not dying.

In Other News…

Onita drew 5,725 for his first explosion match in two years to defeat a team that involved Tenryu. They managed that without Halloween decorations?

Next Week: Hayabusa’s last match at Korakuen Hall!