FMW Goodbye Hayabusa 07.31.99 DirecTV PPV

Korakuen Hall
Attendance 2,150

Previously In FMW…

We’re edging closer to the end of Hayabusa’s gimmick with a another stop at The Hall!

Recap of the previous show’s events is set to Chemical Brothers’ Hey Boy Hey Girl. I’ve not heard that in ages, thanks guys.

Ricky Fuji starts off by talking to Arai because he has issues with Fuyuki. So does everyone else mate, get in line. Fuji specifically doesn’t like that Arai is letting Fuyuki get away with all these things and challenges the owner to a match next month. So it’ll be non-worker vs. Arai.

Yoshinori Sasaki vs. Naohiko Yamazaki

These guys are wrestling each other again? They’re both ready to stop doing these Young Lion matches and move on with their lives but half the roster is in the main event this month so it’s this again. Sasaki’s choke slam is getting really gnarly and it ends the match at 9:53 to a generous pop.

Flying Kid Ichihara vs. Hido

Hido is wearing a sparkling jacket and starts the match by hitting on Kid’s valet. There’s some verbal comedy here goes over my head but she declines his advances. Hido still decides to wrestle in his fancy shirt and waistcoat.

Kid sends him outside quickly with Hido using this opportunity to stalk the valet until Kid lands an Asai Moonsault while he’s perving. Hido takes a second rope moonsault but ignores it to put Kid in a piledriver position and stare at whatshername with a big dopey grin on his face. After the piledriver, Hido walks up to her and leaves himself wide open for Kid’s mid offence. Hido misses a shoulder tackle and gets fed up enough to kick Kid low for the DQ at 3:07.

Hido is upset and continues to work Kid’s groin while appearing to tell whatshername that “it” doesn’t work now so she should leave with him. Jado shows up because he wants a piece of her too but Kid makes the save and the crowd applauds. I missed a lot of what the crowd was enjoying here and nobody was interested in any of the moves so I think we’ll move on.

Hisakatsu Oya vs. Hiroshi Osumi

At the previous show, Fuyuki was disgusted with Oya’s few remaining hairs on his head and demanded he re-grow it. Fuyuki had a point, it was like a lazy crow’s nest.

So Oya heads out with a new look including a robe and umbrella, escorted to the ring by Tomomi Tanimoto who sings his theme. He’s also sporting a wig which makes him look way better.

His opponent is Hiroshi Osumi whose gimmick is that he wrestles with boxing gloves on. Oh. It’s his debut and he’s sticking around until the end of the company. I don’t remember enjoying him.

Before the match starts, Oya grabs the mic and asks if Fuyuki likes his new look? Fuyuki heads out to presumably approve, but Oya removes the wig to reveal he’s BALD now (with the kanji for “bald” scribed on his head). Fuyuki is so shocked he can’t even speak and walks backwards out of the ringside area to really sell this dumb moment.

So Osumi wrestles like he’s boxing, which means he can’t do a hell of a lot. Oya thankfully starts suplexing him around quickly enough, before Osumi lands punches with Oya selling like a boxer and having to make the ten count. Oh then the bell rings as this is under boxing rules? Well I missed that.

Osumi somehow manages a backdrop suplex, with causes Oya to land his own shortly afterwards. Osumi gets crowd support for kicking out of it before Oya wins at 3:46 with a bulldog choke.

I guess if Osumi is going to be the required loser around here now they’re pushing the new guys then I can live with him. Plus this match wasn’t about him, it was about Oya and the crowd erupted for the bald reveal so it worked? I guess? They’re really filling these segments with stuff.

Alright let’s see if I can explain how we got to this next position in as fewer words as possible:

The new title belts for the Six Man Tag Team Titles that Fuyuki had announced all the way back in November 1998 are finally ready, which means yet another bloody tournament. However it was decided to hold them Round Robin style and kept to the non-televised shows to help house show attendance, with the team with the most wins getting the best position for the final matches which will be decided tonight and blah blah blah Hayabusa, Tanaka & Kuroda have to win three matches in a row if they want to win the new belts. OK?

WEW Six Man Tag Team Title Tournament Semi Final Match

Hayabusa & Masato Tanaka & Tetsuhiro Kuroda vs. Super Leather & Armageddon

The good guys charge the ring and start a brawl, leaving Hayabusa alone with Rosey. He’s too big for Hayabusa to dive onto, so he catches him and slams him into the ringpost. Jamal absorbs Kuroda’s lariats and dumps him with a chokeslam. Tanaka chops Leather who comes back with a Manhattan Drop. Rosey takes a DDT on the outside before Hayabusa dives onto Leather to set up a giant Butterfly Suplex and a Firebird Splash to eliminate these stiff lugs at 4:03.

Just a part of a longer storyline as immediately afterwards:

WEW Six Man Tag Team Title Tournament Semi Final Match

Hayabusa & Masato Tanaka & Tetsuhiro Kuroda vs. Mr. Gannosuke & Yukihiro Kanemura & Jado (Team No Respect)

Kanemura sneak attacks Tanaka while the lights are off during the entrance, but Tanaka dragon screws Jado because You Can’t Hurt The Tanaka. Kuroda locks Jado in a Figure Four and isn’t put off by Jado’s spit. Tanaka prevents TNR from interfering by Dragon Screwing Kanemura half way across the ring. He was great at taking that bump. Tanaka tries to dive outside onto Jado but jumps directly into a chair. Tanaka’s elbow is wrapped up (when is it not?) so Jado sticks the pointy end of the timekeeper’s hammer into it. Yikes.

Meanwhile, Kuroda lands the Running Crowd Lariat to Gannosuke while Tanaka is crying in pain. Tanaka takes a chair and a ringpost and anything else lying around into his poor limb, all the while the rest of Team FMW are getting battered around on the outside. Tanaka is doing a wonderful job of howling while everyone is stomping the hell out of it. It’s so unnerving hear him experience displeasure. Gannosuke armbars him and his struggling and floundering are enough to get the crowd crying for him. Kanemura throws a frigging table off the top rope onto his limb for good measure, finally annoying Hayabusa enough into running in to dropkick Kanemura. TNR stand over a fallen Tanaka and pretend to hump one another because NO RESPECT.

Tanaka is able to kick a charging Kanemura and tries the Rolling Elbow…which Kanemura converts into a Fujiwara Armbar to make the crowd howl in anger. Gannosuke works him over with flying arm bulldogs. Tanaka somehow tags in Hayabusa who wastes no time landing Frankensteiners and a huge Asai Moonsault which nearly lands OVER Gannosuke. Back in the ring, Hayabusa runs into the Gannosuke Clutch and nearly loses for a big “ooooo!” Hayabusa resets things with a giant German suplex to Gannosuke before tagging in Kuroda who does the same. Kuroda lariats Kanemura across the ring to set up a missile dropkick from Tanaka into Kanemura’s face. Tanaka sets up the Tornado DDT which is wonderfully countered into a Sky High by Kanemura and that got me good. Hayabusa intervenes to save Tanaka who blasts Kanemura with a Rolling Elbow…for two. Crowd are getting loud.

Hayabusa’s top rope move is halted by a lobbed chair by Gannosuke, so he tries it again with Gannosuke crotching him this time. Take the hint. Three Man 3D nearly ends Hayabusa so the TNR lads follow up with a three man Superbomb instead. Hayabusa hasn’t jumped off the top rope enough however so he kicks out. Jado applies a Texas Cloverleaf as this match is slowing down somewhat but I mean that’s the idea, for this to go long and all. Jado walks into a Shotei for the out-of-nowhere win at 20:55.

Which leads to:

WEW Six Man Tag Team Title Tournament Final Match

Hayabusa & Masato Tanaka & Tetsuhiro Kuroda vs. Kodo Fuyuki & Koji Nakagawa & Gedo (Team No Respect)

Just like before, Fuyuki’s team attacks during the entrances with Hayabusa taking a powerbomb on the floor. This leaves Kuroda alone to throw lariats around in the ring to stay alive. Koji’s still a ratboy though so even a tired Kuroda can batter him around. At least until Gedo keeps interfering to throw him off. Tanaka is exhausted and his elbow is falling off, but he still fights through it to land a Diamond Dust on Gedo. His pain prevents him from being able to pin though. Gedo goes for the elbow because he’s not dumb, with Fuyuki tagging in to stomp and yell. Kuroda is isolated on the outside leading to Tanaka to sell even more, barely able to lariat Fuyuki and walk to the ropes to tag in Hayabusa.

The Ace slams Fuyuki and lands The Firebird Splash with Koji barely able to break it up. Hayabusa manages a shotei on Fuyuki before following up with a Falcon Arrow which only gets two and doesn’t impress the crowd as much as it should have. Firebird Splash a second time still can’t put Fuyuki away as the crowd have quietened. Oh they start again once Hayabusa takes a powerbomb pin as the crowd want Hayabusa to not lose. They just don’t always cheer when he’s winning. Yelling Lariat sets up the Stretch Plumb to another lack of heat. I mean the Plumb never ends matches so y’know. Fuyuki brings it back by mockingly holding Hayabusa’s arm to his team to tag while TNR hold them back so they can’t. Ha! Yelling Lariat can’t end Hayabusa as the crowd “oooaaAAHhhh” to that kick out.

A third Yelling Lariat can’t end Hayabusa so Koji & Jado hold him up for a fourth, all the while holding up the title belts they’re about to win at 10:20.

Well that was an amazingly dick finish, I don’t recall seeing a wrestler grab the belt they’re about to win into the match and not even use them as a weapon, just throw them into the ring to let their foe know they’re winning them. Anyway this was easily the best thing on the show and told an obvious story for people who’ve watched any western wrestling in the past thirty years, but with the added benefits of a hot crowd and some of Tanaka’s best selling work.

And we have new WEW title belt designs to signify the different kind of company FMW is now. Which I can understand but these belts look so cheap and naff as well as light and thin.

They look edible.

Also Kaoruko Arai is back after being away. I know you’ve all been asking after her.

Kodo Fuyuki ends the show by announcing the lineups for the next three shows for the Hayabusa gimmick before he is forced to take off the mask forever and ever.

Overall: A one (three) match show that’s worth a watch for the heat and selling alone. Apart from that, the highlight was a bald.

In Other News…

NJPW announced they’re doing Muto vs. Onita (Great Muta vs. Great Nita) which will see Onita headlining a NJPW show for the first time. Muta apparently strongly disliked the idea of wrestling Onita because Nita is so much of a rip-off but money talks. Match was gash but we got some cool merch out of it.

Next Week: It’s a spooky special! In August.

I’ve been Maffew