AWA Championship Wrestling Review – 01.08.90

Time for more AWA Team Challenge Series! Last week on AWA Championship Wrestling, Yukon John Nord picked up the victory for Baron’s Blitzers when he slammed Larry’s Legend representation, Sheik Adnan Al-Kassie, who was a last-second substitution for Kokina Maximus, who was hyped all show before the reveal that he was having “transportation” problems. Looks like Kokina spent the last quarter of 1989 working New Japan dates, so these bastards knew well in advance they were pulling their old tricks of false advertisements and bait-and-switch nonsense.

This week’s card was hyped up pretty hard last week, as it’s set to feature THREE Team Challenge Series Matches. Maybe we can get through the entire hour without any of the usual AWA shenanigans. All matches on this episode were taped on December 16th, 1989 from the Mayo Civic Center in Rochester, MN. I guess it shouldn’t be too hard to track dates at this point, considering the limited amount of dates they were running by the end.

We’ve already hit the recycle button for Team Challenge Series content! We’ve got Baron von Rashke vs Wayne “The Train” Bloom in an “Amateur Rules Greco-Roman Wrestling” Match, originally recapped on the December 30th episode of AWA All-Star Wrestling. There are 3 rounds scheduled, each lasting 2-minutes, and between rounds a 30-second rest period. You can win the match by holding your opponent’s shoulders down for a one-count, and points will be awarded for near-falls, takedowns, and escapes, with a decision rendered if we go through all three rounds without a pin-fall. The work of the match isn’t awful, but there’s no way to reasonably keep score, as the announcers and the chyron are constantly inaccurate. Mike Enos runs in for the DQ as the final round is about to expire, and the Destruction Crew with a double-team assault until Paul Diamond and Tommy Jammer make the save. Should be interesting if they count this twice on the scoreboard.

Eric Bischoff is standing by for an interview with The Trooper, asking him if he’s ready for today’s FOOTBALL CLASH. Trooper says it’s been a while but he does have college (USC) and pro experience (nothing available, other than unconfirmed tryouts for the Buccaneers and Falcons), but it’s like riding a bicycle and he’ll be ready. Yes, I’m sure what we’re going to see is exactly like how the game of football is played. I guess we should give him credit for cutting that promo without laughing.

Football Clash: The Trooper vs. “Mean” Mike Enos:
Trooper represents Baron’s Blitzers and Enos for Larry’s Legends. I’m not going to try and say there’s not much thought behind things, but I feel like Larry’s Legends get way more matches, but I’m also not going to go through every match taped and crunch the numbers. I was getting ready to make a smart-ass comment about Al Bundy vs. “Spare Tire Dixon”, but nope, that was on the Married with Children the following February. Lee Marshall doesn’t seem too confident he can clearly run down the rules of the contest; There are markings on the canvas that designate each wrestler’s “goal line” (which happens to be in front of some small Soccer or street hockey nets). Each man will have 45-seconds per possession to get by his defender and cross the goal line. The first man to accomplish this 5 times will be the winner. Penalties can be called, and we have retired footballer “Benchwarmer” Bob Lurtsema as the special referee (Lurtsema played from 1967-77 with the Giants and Vikings before calling it a career with the Seahawks). Did I mention that Trooper and Enos are wearing home and away Minnesota Vikings jerseys? They are wearing #38 and #78, which went unused in 1989. The last player to wear #38 was Fletcher Louallen in 1987, and #78 was worn by both Barry Bennett and William Gay for the 1988 season.

Now that we got all that out of the way, let’s get the match started! Lurtsema tosses the ball up in the air and Enos shoves the Trooper to grab the ball. Lurtsema shoves Enos into his little net for his cheating and gives the ball to Trooper, who runs through Enos for the 1st score. Enos has trouble on his first possession, which turns this into a PRO WRESTLING MATCH for a few seconds. WHAT A CONCEPT! Trooper hits the sloppiest atomic drop and Enos fails to score. Trooper dips his shoulder to send Enos to the canvas and easily scores (2-0 Trooper). Enos’ fakeout fails, fumbles, and Trooper scores again (3-0 Trooper) as Strangis and Marshall have no clue how the rules work, AND MARSHALL JUST TOLD THEM TO US.

Lurtsema calls Enos for a delay of game. Enos gives him a shove and Lurtsema responds by smacking him across the side of the helmet with a forearm. THE F*CK?! Enos stops Trooper with a drop toe hold and follows with a headbutt across the leg. He picks up the ball and casually scores for the first time (3-1 Trooper). Enos punishes the knee and scores again (3-2 Trooper), though he threw the ball over the line, and Marshall noted you can’t do that during the introductions. More leg work from Enos and another score (3-3 tie). Trooper gets thrown out of the ring and Enos takes the lead (4-3 Enos). Trooper fights through a front face-lock and pushes across the line to tie it up (4-4). Enos strips Trooper of the ball, knocking him through the ropes in the process. Lurtsema decides that isn’t fair and lays Enos out with a clothesline, allowing Trooper to scoop up the ball and dive into his net for the win at 11:45. WHAT THE F*CK DID I JUST WATCH. Not only was this ridiculously over-thought, it went way too long, and we needed a biased BABYFACE referee? It’s not like Enos was doing anything over-the-top either, he was playing it mostly by the rules, so it looks like the Trooper is a geek who needs some washed-up never-was to bail him out. Once again, the match itself wasn’t very good, but the lack of understanding the rules from their own play-by-play team makes it even worse. You give us a laundry-list of rules at the start, then re-write some of them throughout the match.

Eric Bischoff is standing by with AWA Heavyweight Champion Larry Zbyszko. He’s not too happy with the results we’ve seen so far, calling Bob Lurtsema a piece of trash and accusing Baron von Rashke of cheating in his Greco-Roman Rules Match. This turns into him making a Pearl Harbor reference when talking about Mr. Saito, then calls Saito, Sgt. Slaughter and Nikita Koloff, the Three Stooges of Wrestling. Just a rambling promo.

We get some generic comments from all the participants of today’s Main Event, and yay, Sarge’s Snipers are finally getting representation after two singles matches featuring guy from Baron’s Blitzers and Larry’s Legends.

Six-Man Tag Team Battle Royal:
(Participants: Paul Diamond and Tommy Jammer of Baron’s Blitzers, “The Illustrious” Jonnie Stewart and The Unknown Solider of Sarge’s Snipers, and Hangman Psycho and Killer of Larry’s Legends)
Lee Marshall is back again to go over the rules, and once again, we’re overcomplicating things for the sake of doing it. Even though it’s a TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL, if there’s a situation where it’s down to both men of the same team as the last men in the match, the match will continue because only one man can win and earn points for his team… in a TAG TEAM Battle Royal. Jesus… The Unknown Soldier is acting like a total goof. I guess Doug Somers didn’t show up for TV, as he was mentioned by Paul Diamond in a promo from last week.

Stewart and the Soldier powder to the apron as soon as the bell rings. The Hangmen go after Jammer, but he self-saves with a DOUBLE NOGGIN KNOCKER. We get a decent mix of everyone in true free-for-all style (other than partners attacking each other, of course). Soldier runs at Jammer and misses a dive, going over and out at 2:26. Jammer has Killer on the ropes, but Stewart comes from behind to knock out Jammer at 2:40. Stewart with all the theatrics cutting a deal to work with Diamond, and they split off. As soon as Stewart has Killer in a compromised position, he goes after Diamond like a true sleazeball. He sends Diamond over the top, but Diamond skins the cat, hits Stewart with a dropkick, and tosses him at 4:03. The Hangmen back Diamond in the corner but he’s able to duck under a clothesline and hits them with a double body press. The numbers game catches up again, but HEEL MISCOMMUNICATION happens and Psycho is out at 5:54, leaving Diamond and Killer. Meanwhile, Stewart is STILL at ringside. Psycho sticks around to help out and the referee is struggling to maintain control. Diamond with the comeback, but Psycho pulls down the ropes and he’s out at 8:09, giving the victory to Killer and the 2 points for the TCS to Larry’s Legends. Stewart attacks Hard Rock Diamond after the bell, but Diamond sends him to the post and over the guardrail with a Super-Kick. This was… surprisingly well booked. A little too much chaos with the heels towards the end, but they did a great job of making Paul Diamond the underdog you can get behind who only lost due to shenanigans. Bischoff gets some post-match words from the Texas Hangmen. They do a lot of maniacal laughing and say “They are the greatest tag team in RASSLIN.”

We close with Eric Bischoff in front of the green screen, saying that the wrestling media has labeled the Team Challenge Series the #1 attraction. Also, POWERSAUCE IS AMAZING.

Final Thoughts: We got more from what we should expect out of the AWA in 1990. Ridiculous stipulations and overbooked finishes mixed in with the Team Challenge Series gimmick. We opened with a recycled match that is ruined (more so) by the inability to properly track the scoring (and a lame finish), followed by the dumb-as-f*ck Football Clash where none of it made any sense, and finished with a reasonably decent mini Battle Royal. If we had more of the last match, it wouldn’t be so bad, but unfortunately, the good of AWA at this point is a rarity.