(Almost) 5-Star Match Reviews: Kenta Kobashi vs. Minoru Suzuki – NOAH – 01.08.05

It’s often said that opposites attract, and twenty years ago you weren’t likely to find two wrestlers that bit this bill more than Kenta Kobashi and Minoru Suzuki. One was a chiseled pro-wrestling machine who wrestled like the classic NWA champions of the 70s and made his way to the top from the very bottom. The other was a pioneer in shootfighting, received training from a man the Japanese literally nicknamed “Kami-Sama” (“God”) and was one of the pioneers that would lay the foundation for what has become known as Mixed Martial Arts. In 2005, though, the only thing these two men had in common was that their bodies were held together by artificial substances: Kobashi’s by metal rods and steel plates, Suzuki’s by rubber bands and black magic. So what would happen when these two men from radically different backgrounds would clash one-on-one?

The Story

This took place during Kobashi’s two-year run as GHC Heavyweight Champion. During that reign Kobashi steamrolled through various challengers, most of whom outclassed him in one way or another. Some were better mat wrestlers, like Tamon Honda and Yuji Nagata. Some were outright underhanded and willing to exploit weaknesses, like Yoshinari Ogawa. Some were bigger and stronger, like Bison Smith. And one of his challengers, Yoshihiro Takayama, was all of this and more. Yet Kobashi still overcame the odds and retained against every threat that came before him. Kobashi’s biggest moment came at Departure 2004 when he successfully defended the title against his longtime rival Jun Akiyama. Kobashi went on to defend three more times against Akira Taue, Akitoshi Saito, and “Gladiator” Mike Awesome. After defending against Gladiator, Suzuki showed up and mocked Kobashi for being dumb enough to let himself get thrown through a table, this angered Kobashi.

Now, it’s important to note that Minoru Suzuki’s reputation in the 2000s was a bit different from what some of you might be familiar with. Suzuki’s reputation received a huge glow-up in the 2010s following his incredible 2012 title match with Hiroshi Tanahashi and some shoot interviews during that decade made him out to be this terrifying conditioning freak who took a sadistic pleasure in torturing trainees when things didn’t go his way. But a decade earlier there was another term being thrown around to describe him: “washed up”. He wasn’t seen in as much of a positive light in wrestling during the following decade or in MMA/shootfighting during the prior decade. So when he came to NOAH to wrestle against someone like Kobashi the response was mixed.

On one hand some people bristled at the idea of this fighter-turned-wrestler going into wrestling way past his physical prime and taking on a wall of muscle like Kobashi would be a complete mismatch and thus wouldn’t live up to the hype. On the other hand this was the exact sort of scenario Suzuki lived for: he loved putting himself in unconventional mismatch situations. From wrestling in an “invisible ring” in the Tokyo Dome, to brawling on a crowded train, to beating up Kanna/Asuka in a mixed tag match, Suzuki wasn’t one to let himself be pigeonholed into only one type of match or flavor.

“Just like how I went to All Japan because I wanted to be one of a kind, I thought it’d be interesting if an outsider like Minoru Suzuki went to NOAH, which carries on the King’s Road tradition—a mismatch would be fun.” – Yoshihiro Takayama, who was a huge influence on Minoru Suzuki’s pro-wrestling career

This left Suzuki excited at the prospect of wrestling Kobashi but Kobashi somewhat in peril. Kobashi was a good grappler, a former judoka, and someone who was VERY good at hitting techniques once he was in control. But when it came to amateur grappling, free-flowing movements, and actually getting into a position of control, Suzuki was way better. So even though he was smaller he was also quicker and more deceptive. But would this be enough for him to overthrow the nigh-indestructible Kobashi?

The Match

This took place on January 8, 2005. It was rated ***3/4 out of five by the Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer.

Takayama’s on commentary. Kobashi approaches cautiously. Amateur exchange to start. Kobashi’s all business but Suzuki’s dodging, sidestepping, and smirking as he riles Kobashi up. Suzuki ducks a chop and slaps Kobashi hard. This repeats a few times. A test of strength immediately backfires as Suzuki wrestles into a triangle choke. Kobashi tries powering out but Suzuki keeps the arm trapped with a headstand. He switches to a cross armbar but Kobashi gets a ropebreak. Suzuki goes for the leg but Kobashi catches him in a headlock. Kobashi keeps it cinched in for an exceptionally long time, to the point that Suzuki actually starts slowing down from it. Of course Kobashi can make a headlock lethal; his arms are like trees. Irish whip with a big kneelift. Suzuki narrowly avoids a Burning Sword but Kobashi chops him to ringside where he applies another deep headlock. Somehow Kobashi gets back into the ring without breaking the headlock and pulls Suzuki in with him. The headlock continues for quite some time still until Kobashi starts hitting chops. There’s no dodging them now. Kobashi just pummels Suzuki, to the point that Suzuki almost has his mouthguard dislodged. Kobashi lifts Suzuki up onto the top turnbuckle. He goes for a chop…and Suzuki catches the arm. Headstand armbar over the top rope.

Suzuki kicks the arm and when Kobashi tries to counter Suzuki hits a crossbody for one. Another cross armbar leads to another ropebreak. Kobashi defiantly goes for chops but hurts himself and opens himself up to more. Suzuki works the arm but this time Kobashi gives him a Terminator gaze, boring holes through him as he holds onto Kobashi’s arm. Of course Suzuki gleefully continues acting as dickishly as possible, even as Kobashi gives him death glares and basically says “hit me again, I dare you”. Suzuki wrestles into an armbar and switches to a different one once Kobashi gets a ropebreak. Suzuki traps three out of four limbs but Kobashi gets another break. Over-the-shoulder armbreakers by Suzuki. Kobashi counters with a sleeper hold into a sleeper suplex. Suzuki bails to the entrance ramp. Kobashi teases a half-nelson suplex. Suzuki counters with a sleeper of his own. Kobashi manages to escape by falling off the ramp and to the floor.

Back in the ring Suzuki lands a corner strike barrage followed by a KENTA-style corner dropkick and a Gotch-style Piledriver. They tease a stoppage finish as the ref checks on Kobashi. Kobashi gets up, eats some kneelifts, and lands a sudden half-nelson out of nowhere. But Suzuki no-sells it and lands a nasty Backdrop. Kobashi no-sells that and tries another half-nelson. Suzuki blocks and counters with an octopus hold. Ropebreak. Suzuki resumes attacking the arm, switching to a sleeper as Kobashi tries stopping him. Suzuki ignores a ropebreak to tighten his sleeper. Kobashi breaks free, eats more knees, and lands a lariat for two. Kobashi lands a jackknife powerbomb. Suzuki floats over into another armbar. Kobashi struggles to get another ropebreak. Suzuki attacks the weakened right arm again. Kobashi answers with a left-arm lariat. Suzuki crawls over to another corner. Kobashi answers with a running lariat and a Backdrop suplex. Suzuki fires up again and lands more slaps. Kobashi drills him with another lariat. Followed by another Backdrop. And another. And then deadlifts his near-lifeless body up for a third. Suzuki throws off a few light smacks with the tiny bit of energy he has left so Kobashi demolishes him with a Burning Lariat to get the pin and the win.

Winner and STILL GHC Heavyweight Championship after 25:22: Kenta Kobashi

Review

Well, that was definitely a mismatch.

If you’ve seen either Kobashi versus Takayama in 2004 (which you absolutely should because it’s one of the greatest matches of all time) or Kobashi versus Ogawa from 2003 (which is nowhere near as good but has a decent curiosity factor to it), then you’ll see that this match was basically an amalgamation of those two contests. Suzuki copied the sneakiness and dickishness of the Ogawa match and combined it with the focused armwork of the Takayama match to try and both shut down Kobashi’s offensive approach (as Takayama did) and piss the champion off (as Ogawa did). And yet there was something…off…here. Despite doing a great job of getting under Kobashi’s skin and being as obnoxious as possible, Suzuki never really stood a chance. Despite some solid efforts Suzuki never sold the idea that he could win. Ground Kobashi’s offense to a halt, yes, but not win. He didn’t really land anything that looked like it hurt Kobashi beyond his armwork and a brief “ref stoppage” tease that lacked believability. As a result it really felt like these guys were going through the motions a lot and just landing random stuff without much sense of structure.

Speaking of which, the match came across as highly disjointed, with there being a major lack in follow-through from start to finish. Kobashi spent the first 5-10 minutes squeezing Suzuki’s head in a headlock, to the point that a Hulk Hogan/Richard Belzer spot might happen at any moment. Then suddenly Suzuki stopped selling his head and began working the arm, which went on for a very long time. He stayed focused but then Kobashi began his comeback which, unsurprisingly, involved chops and lariats. His turnaround was much more sudden than in previous matches involving this strategy so for him to just brush off Suzuki’s focused attacks like that rendered all of that work insignificant. Though Suzuki tried to turn things around at the end he had no way of doing so. As a result the final five minutes turned into Kobashi just pummeling him almost to the point of toying with him, not even bothering to go for a cover until the very end. It was like Kobashi was going for the overkill finish except he was doing it on a guy who, all things considered, didn’t really deserve that level of excess to be hit on him.

Final Rating: ***1/2

This was a solid but nowhere near the elite level of Kobashi’s many other time-tested classics. It was a mismatch from the beginning with Suzuki playing the dickhead yet not going far enough with that gimmick to really get the crowd behind him to the point that Kobashi’s apocalyptic match-ending barrage would be considered appropriate. This was like spamming one’s most powerful attacks on a mid-level boss only because you’ve gotten a bit irritated and you just want to hammer the point home that this guy was never a real threat to begin with. It’s a strange story to tell here, but I guess that’s what happens when there’s such an obvious mismatch between two people with very different backgrounds and insufficient chemistry.

Like I mentioned above, if you’re going to watch any Kobashi match from when he was already world champion then the Takayama match definitely tops the list of his best matches. Speaking of Takayama, since he was the one that convinced Suzuki to seek out mismatches, then the best result of that effort would be Suzuki versus Tanahashi at KOPW 2012 which is without a doubt the best match you’ll ever see that only has one pin attempt in it. Either of those matches give you significantly more value for your time investment so seek those out if you can.

Thanks for reading.