Joshi Spotlight: GAEA Japan in Winter 2000

GAEA IN WINTER 2000:
* And now we end the year 2000! It’s GAEA Japan with one last set of seven matches. With the Tag Title Shot Tournament concluding, leading to a big Korakuen Hall finish! Sakura Hirota in cosplay again! A very surprising finish! And the return of some EVIL VARIANTS!

NOV. 26th 2000:
* This is from some small house-show looking thing.

AAAW TAG TEAM TOURNAMENT CHALLENGER FINAL:
THE SECOND GENERATION ARMY (Akira Hokuto & Mayumi Ozaki, w/ Police) vs. THE THIRD GENERATION ARMY (Chigusa Nagayo & Meiko Satomura):
* So the tournament final is now! Chigusa & Meiko won a come-from-behind victory against Devil Masami & KAORU days earlier, but now are stuck against another top-tier squad (though both have been WAY lazier than you’d think for years, and fairly de-emphasized).

The heels attack right after the intros, leading to a big Hokuto/Meiko slugfest that sees Akira slap her repeatedly but Meiko firing back and hitting her DVD for a close two- Ozaki has to save. Police stops a Chigusa charge, but Ozaki flips herself right into Chigusa’s Razor’s Edge for two. Ozaki counters another bomb to a rana and the heels throw strikes only to end up in stereo sleepers. Police starts laying the boots to Chigusa, but in a hilarious bit she just stalks him, then slaps him in the face while he snivels, leading to not only a great “wussy” sell as he writhes in pain, but sets him up for Meiko’s charging elbow smash and he does a flat-face bump! They fight & scrap and repeatedly counter each other (Oz avoids Chigusa powerbombing Meiko onto her, then Hokuto starts jabbing Chigusa with her bokken sword). Bokken/Powerbomb gets two on Meiko, but she & Ozaki counter each other’s moves until Ozaki’s crucifix is turned into a DVD for two. Hokuto runs into the Pele Kick, but Oz’s uraken sets up the Dangerous Queen Bomb for a close one. Akira can’t believe it, and Chigusa stops her from further offense and puts her in Stranglehold Gamma (her husband’s finisher, lol). Oz just clobbers Chigusa repeatedly and there’s a big fight in a scorpion deathlock, then Chigusa & Akira wheel kick each other’s knees for a double-down. The heels use their signature weapons, but Chigusa DVDs Hokuto, then Ozaki… but Oz just gets up and flails at her until Chigusa turns into Hokuto’s Northern Lights Bomb outta nowhere! That’s that at (7:47), the Third Generation winning a pretty quick one.

A very flaily, “no story” kind of match with everyone just kinda running around interfering and nobody maintaining offense for more than 30 seconds at a time- no big dramatic selling or desperation save for some near-falls, then Meiko’s out of the ring for the last half and Chigusa just gets caught. This does seem to be rebuilding Hokuto as a threat after a couple years of “injury-prone/lazy midcarder”. The best bit was Police’s flat-facing, lol.

Rating: **1/4 (inoffensive flailiness- some effort but not much of a story)

THE SECOND GENERATION ARMY (Devil Masami & KAORU) vs. THE THIRD GENERATION ARMY (Lioness Asuka & Sonoko Kato):
* So the Lioness/Kato team is still a thing, and they’re taking on the tertiary heel squad.

We’re JIP with Lioness hitting the Blue Thunder Bomb on Devil, but she turns into a sleeperhold. KAORU immediately lands her Board-assisted moonsault, then Van Daminators it into Lioness, then grinds away with it until she gets Ligerbombed out of the corner. The heels get battered around and Lioness pulls off that “sweep-kick the table” thing again, then Ligerbombs KAORU again for two. Towerhacker Bomb (inverted fireman’s to ligerbomb)- Devil saves. Kato adds her guillotine legdrop for two, but KAORU escapes Kowloon’s Gate (the sit-out Deadeye) and hits her Brainbuster. Kato “fuck YOU!” bridges out of that and scores a wheel kick for two with Lioness’s help, the hits Kowloon’s Gate after her fourth try when Devil misses a shot with a metal bokken- Devil has to break that up. Devil finally just bashes both babyfaces around with the bokken so KAORU can hit three of her Michinoku Drivers (Excalibur) in a row for the pin at (5:39 of 8:19 shown). A pretty scrappy match- not exactly SLOPPY but sloppy-adjacent and mostly a mess of stuff and KAORU showcasing herself.

Rating: ** (what we got was inoffensive and fine)

DEC. 17th 2000:

CHIGUSA NAGAYO vs. KAORU:
* KAORU/Chigusa seems like a mismatch given how often Chigusa has won.

KAORU pounces immediately, countering a DVD to an inverted DDT for two, then a sloppy slingshot DDT and Brainbuster, then flying stomps a table onto Chigusa and smashes it with a baseball bat while it’s on her (which… hurts less than if the table wasn’t in the way, but okay). KAORU whacks her across the back with it and Chigusa unwisely KICKS IT to block a shot, selling while KAORU laughs. But Chigusa soon backdrops her and kicks the crap out of her, shaming her by teasing the bat and choosing not to use it. KAORU dumps her to the floor out of a backdrop superplex and moonsaults her off the second rope, but Chigusa lures her into diving into a table. Okay that was pretty dumb for KAORU- she could obviously see Chigusa out of the way already, haha. Chigusa then DVDs her on the FLOOR and barrels into her off the apron… then spends half a minute setting up some big table spot and ends up taking the wussiest possible bump off the apron through it. DISAPPOINTING. KAORU gets the Brainbuster for two, but Chigusa aggressively no-sells several board shots and beats the crap out of her, hitting the Running Razor’s Edge for two. Chigusa fires off more kicks, but someone tosses KAORU a gigantic 2×4 to lay her out, then they fight up top and Chigusa goes backwards through a table- Flying Stomp hits, but Chigusa blocks her bat shot and snaps it over her knee for a pop and a Running Ligerbomb gets two. Chigusa swipes Excalibur, KAORU getting incensed and kicking out at one, but Chigusa pops up when SHE does it, only to stumble. Hilariously, KAORU buggers another Excalibur, revealing that the driver is basically just a sit-out bodyslam because it looks like a regular-ass slam. It gets two as commentary says “Chotto” (“She didn’t quite get ALL of it, Brain…”). Chigusa fires back and hits another Razor’s Edge for 1, KAORU wallops her with the board, then SHATTERS it over her head, and hits Excalibur again… for THREE at (9:57 of 10:43 shown). Okay I straight up didn’t expect that given my “lol obvs. Chig gonna win” comment above, lol.

A very sloppy, aggressive-style match, with a lot of the weird things GAEA started doing a couple years back and then stopped, then is slowly bringing back in… the “defiant kick-out at ONE”, the “no-sell finisher but stumble after all”, and “finisher spam to end the match”. So they sprint for a 10-minute finish. Chigusa doing a “clean” job like this is pretty surprising, especially as KAORU is the 5th-tier heel on the 3rd Generation Army. I mean, Chigusa beat DYNAMITE KANSAI in her big GAEA debut, but friggin’ KAORU gets the “W”? It’s very weird. Especially as KAORU spent most of the year doing straight jobs to Sugar Sato when most of the heels only lost flukes and miracle losses.

Rating: **1/4 (MEH. Did some okay stuff. Probably better than the earlier stuff- might be overrating it, haha. The weapon stuff was kinda fun but the table stuff was lame)

SONOKO KATO & SAIKA TAKEUCHI vs. TOSHIE UEMATSU & THE BLOODY:
* Tell me you had four spares and didn’t know what else to do with them without telling me you had four spares and didn’t know what else to do with them. Seriously it’s the floundering, injured Kato, rookie Takeuchi, floundering midcard Uematsu and the borrowed JD’ wrestler.

We’re JIP with the Bloody avoiding Kowloon’s Gate, then in a fun bit rookie Saika comes in and saves Kato from a flying Toshie, then hits a run-up ENZUIGIRI to Bloody. But she bumps into Toshie and her HP immediately falls to zero like she’s non-super Mario and touched a Koopa, and Kato tosses Toshie onto Bloody and hits her guillotine legdrop for two. Saika’s thrown into her to stop another Gate, but Kato hits a rolling kick for a fantastic bump by Bloody, getting a close two. Saika runs in but immediately eats a missile kick into a flying senton and Kato desperately has to save. Kato has to save her and she hits the Bluff Blockbuster for two, then the jumping knee into the Tiger Suplex for two. It’s telling that now Saika’s moves get the “partner breaks it up” near-falls. Toshie snaps off the Double-Wrist Armsault for a weak kickout, but Saika does a good “dizzy sell” and they keep narrowly avoiding finishers. Toshie blasts her down for two, and UH OH- Saika got beaned. Her mouth is full of blood like “GAEA Girls” all over again. Toshie Goo Punches her down, then hits a powerslam, and slides off just as Kato’s interfering Guillotine Legdrop flies down. Saika’s done from that, so Bloody dumps Kato and Toshie finishes with the Armsault at (5:45 of 13:53 shown). Another “Saika is getting better, but can’t beat her seniors” match.

Man, the Bloody was SO GOOD in this. Like she’s leaving Toshie & Kato in the dust with great bumps, flying around, landing a great senton, etc. Naturally since she’s a guest, Toshie gets to work tons of spots with Saika, probably setting up an eventual Saika win down the line. We probably missed a lot of Kato stuff, but she was fine.

Rating: *3/4 (another filler bout, missing 70% of it)

HAND-MADE TITLE:
SAKURA HIROTA vs. DYNAMITE KANSAI:
* Oh jesus. RIP Sakura. She comes down in a giant Mystery Box, forcing Kansai to tear it open… and revealing MINI-KANSAI!! Kansai can’t even bother to act offended, busting a gut right away.

Spectacular.

We’re clipped to Sakura getting dizzy and trying multiple cartwheels to nothing, then falling 5 feet short of a headbutt off the middle rope. Kansai misses the flying stomp, but fakes her out with a mini-stomp and lands a falling headbutt. Flying stomp gets two, but she climbs and gets caught in SPLASH MOUNTAIN!! Sakura impresses as she walks Kansai to mid-ring, shaking all the while (check Kansai “posting” using her feet wrapped around Sakura’s legs to make the left easier)… but Kansai is SO HEAVY that Sakura gives up “due to the pain”, flopping down in agony, haha. Well that’s a new one (2:55 of 7:48 shown).

AAAW TAG TITLE MATCH:
THE THIRD GENERATION ARMY (Chikayo Nagashima & Sugar Sato) vs. THE SECOND GENERATION ARMY (Akira Hokuto & Mayumi Ozaki):
* New gear for Ozaki here, as she’s wearing a two-piece outfit with extra decals as she takes on her former students. Chikayo keeps getting a lot of focus this year, but Sakura seems to be hurt a lot- she’s clearly 20 lbs. or so heavier here than the last time I saw her, getting halfway to Eagle Sawai territory.

We’re JIP as Oz taunts Sugar, then gets a sloppy powerbomb to stop Chikayo’s rana and ties her in her own “upside-down in the ropes” hold to no reaction. A fight in the stands attempts to wake the fans up, Chikayo hitting a flying stomp off the gateway onto Hokuto, then the same to Ozaki after rolling Hokuto down the stairs. They humiliate Ozaki with double-team kicks and taunts- she comes back with slop, but they hit a Powerbomb/Flying Stomp for two (with 14 minutes left?). Powerbomb/Rocket Launcher gets two. Powerbomb/Flying Hair Slam into a Fisherman’s Buster ALSO gets two as Hokuto crawls to ringside at last. They do a weird double-submission where Sugar posts Ozaki so Chikayo can hang backwards over her via a headscissors, but Hokuto finally arrives with a missile kick to break that up. Hokuto alternates between near-death and hitting spinkicks on the brats, but gets dragged off the top in a double-team. Man this match has ZERO flow- what even was that? Oz sets up Hokuto offense, and she counters Chikayo’s flipping with a dramatic Stranglehold Gamma, and a rocking surfboard/uraken combo wears her down more. They work her arm a bunch as she starts putting some effort into her selling, and the Dangerous Queen Bomb gets two. Chikayo actually flips out of a SUPERPLEX and makes the hot tag, Sugar battering the heels around with body attacks and weird cat-strikes. Some slow-mo stuff and tossing them around sets up a powerbomb on each heel, but the fans are only barely kinda into it because of the pace.

More ugliness as Sugar is now a power-wrestler, whipping both off the ropes, but they uncoordinatedly throw kicks, Hokuto gets dragon-screwed off the top, and Sugar & Mayumi fight, throwing random reversals- Sugar keeps throwing kicks but Ozaki hits an uraken out of a powerbomb for two. Sugar keeps throwing kicks but gets knocked into a DQ Bomb for two. Things are so random that Chikayo walks up to Ozaki and urakens her, then casually walks over to Hokuto… but doesn’t touch her and just walks back to Ozaki so Hokuto can German suplex her. Chikayo urakens Ozaki again, but Oz just ignores it and starts slapping her around and buckle bombs her. They trade loose strikes (kicks & urakens), but Chikayo Germans her out of a Tequila Sunrise for two. Hokuto stuns Chikayo with a double-team strike, but she manages a Fisherman’s Buster to Oz for two. Another gets two and the fans are finally loud for the nearfalls, but Oz turns a third into a jujigatame, eats a double-team strike in a mimic of Hokuto’s spot, then urakens everyone, but gets rolled up for two after Sugar. Oz & Hokuto hit stereo Tequila Sunrise/Dragon Suplexes for two, then a Doomsday Device DDT for two on Chikayo. Bad Ligerbomb gets two. Chikayo gets a big nearfall out of an uraken counter, then a Tequila Sunrise of her own. A Fisherman’s Buster gets two, and she preps a big uraken, but they both slam their arms into each other’s, then Hokuto flies in with a missile kick, allowing Ozaki to hit a new move- a Cradle Inverted DDT (Witchcraft, which apparently everyone on YouTube has seen), for the pin at the Tag Titles at (20:25 of 24:37 shown). The heels now control the AAAW Tag Belts.

Man, this was just ugly slop for most of it. WTF even was this? Lazybones wrestling to start, making the fans quiet down too much, then a LONG crowd brawl to fill time, putting Hokuto out of it so Ozaki could eat a ton of finishers in a row, then Hokuto comes back in to dominate Chikayo for minutes, etc… it just has zero flow and not much of a “story” beyond random stuff- almost like they had no plan. Soooooooo many counters were just “the junior charges in with a kick, then Ozaki spins around but gets a backfist”, to the point where it became the default transition of offense. The pace was an issue, too- they went long and everyone has a lot of wear and tear but Chikayo, so everything is probably half the speed it should have been, with much less effort put into it. Hurt people also can’t bump well, so we get a lot of weak selling, making the stop & start worse. I feel like they had the endgame planned out, since it was all Chikayo/Oz Beamspam, whipping out countless sloppy urakens and finishers with nothing much in the middle. This worked a bit to get the fans into things since it was clearly going to be the finish soon, but things just felt weak. Like, where was Sugar? Her & Hokuto just disappear until it’s time for Hokuto to help the finish.

Rating: ** (just a too-long, too-sloppy, too-unplanned match. A few okay spots and Chikayo tried hard, but everyone else was just too slow and too hurt)

The heels celebrate their title win with monies and a HUGE bottle of champagne… but the lights flicker! And scary music starts playing! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NOT ZERO! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!! But sure enough, here comes Chigusa in her scary heel persona (with red eyes this time)… but also LIONESS ASUKA has a scary version! They meet up while staring down the heels, then walk down the stands (lol, dig the lady tapping Zero and immediately doing the giddy “I TOUCHED A WRESTLER!” jump)

So that’s it for one more year of GAEA Japan! The heels win the tag belts but now CRUSH 2000 has unleashed heel versions- the only thing that can beat them! Well except all the heels did jobs like three months ago, but whatever.