MID-Tier Match Reviews: The Final Deletion

Ladies and gentlemen, behold, the Sharknado of professional wrestling.

Before there was John Cena versus Bray Wyatt in the Firefly Funhouse, before there was the Swamp Fight between the Wyatt Family and Braun Strowman, before the Boneyard match, there was The Final Deletion the poster child for 21st century “cinematic matches”. And man was it weird. It was far from the first cinematic match; that honor goes to Antonio Inoki versus Masa Saito in their 1987 Genryu-jima Island Death Match and I’ve been trying to find footage of that match to see how well it holds up but so far the only places hosting that match are dubious-looking adult sites. So while I continue searching I figured I’d look at this somewhat famous “match” that didn’t just save Matt Hardy’s career but it turned into one of the most famous unexpected success stories from the past decade.

The Story

In the spring of 2016, after years of increasing damage and wear-and-tear on his mind and body, Matt Hardy finally became…broken. In both body and mind. After being stretchered out of the arena in April he returned a month later with a new look and completely different personality. He changed his accent and spoke with a faux-sophisticated vocabulary, calling his brother Jeff “Brother Nero” and vowed to “delete” his brother when they faced off, whatever that meant. Matt managed to defeat Jeff in his first match under this new gimmick at Slammiversary that June but this wasn’t enough. He wanted to end his brother once and for all and become the one true Hardy worthy of carrying that name in professional wrestling. In other words, Matt wanted to end things in a grudge match. But not just any grudge match: he wanted to “delete” Jeff the only way he knew how: in the wackiest, most absurd backyard wrestling-inspired way he could.

This was not going to be anything remotely resembling traditional pro-wrestling. It was going to be the most on-brand Hardys-style match: full of weapons, setup-heavy high-spots, and outside-the-box thinking. Given how open-ended these parameters were, and given the wacky premise the Broken Matt Hardy character brought, just how weird would things get in this… “contest”?

The Match

This match aired on the July 5, 2016 edition of IMPACT Wrestling.

We start with some drone shots of Matt’s property. He’s celebrating his son Maxel’s first birthday as his father-in-law gifts his grandson Señor Benjamin, in Matt’s words, “an extraordinary xylophone”. His wife Reba asks Matt what gift he has for his son and Matt says his gift for KING Maxel is the Hardy name and brand. He then instructs Señor Benjamin to “prepare the battlefield for…massacre” and then tells his wife to light the candle on his son’s birthday cake. ~FORESHADOWING~.

Meanwhile we get some drone shots of Jeff at his property, which is next door, doing what is supposed to be landscaping but really is just him drawing giant squiggly lines and abstract shapes with his hedge trimmer. As he sits down on his couch to play guitar his doorbell rings and we see a drone calling his name (“Brother Nero”). Jeff turns away and sees another drone already inside but Jeff obliterates that one with a guitar shot. Channeling his inner Jarrett, I see. The first drone makes it in and plays Jeff a prerecorded message about this being their final battle. Jeff shows off his acting chops with some bad dialogue and chases down that drone from the back of his house while Matt, at the front of his house, rides away on a lawnmower and destroys Jeff’s “grass art” in the process. All the while Matt is putting on these different accents and facial expressions straight out of Tommy Wiseau’s The Room.

We get a montage of Señor Benjamin setting up the ring and preparing the implements that will be available for this…massacre: chairs, kendo sticks, fireworks, and gasoline. Night falls and the referee drives up, completely befuddled over what’s going on. Matt plays a violin off-key and instructs the referee that his only job is to count the pinfall or record the submission…in yet another weird accent. Then he plays another string on this violin – which had apparently been given to him personally by world-famous luthier Antonio Stradivari, who died in 1737 – which apparently has the power to summon Jeff Hardy because, lo and behold, the moment Matt stops playing Jeff appears on his dirtbike.

Jeff enters the ring accompanied by an epic musical score straight out of The Lord of the Rings. A gong – not a bell – rings to signal the start of the “match”. They tease locking up but quickly switch to throwing hands until Matt lands a corner clothesline. Jeff blocks a bulldog and sends Matt across the ring. Jeff cuts Matt off on a corner and lands a superplex and nearly sets his own face on fire from the torches lighting up each corner. A running head-butt gets Jeff a two-count so he goes to “ringside” and pulls out a trellis. Jeff uses this as a makeshift table, sets it up in a corner, and throws Matt into it. Oh no, the threat of splinters. Another two-count. Matt counters into a Twist of Fate out of nowhere. Jeff kicks out at two and for some reason screams like he had just had an anvil dropped on his foot. Matt follows this with a barrage of kendo stick shots which are accompanied by just as many camera cuts. What, did Kevin Dunn train TNA’s production team?

Matt pulls out the ricketiest dollar store ladder that you’ll ever see and chokes Jeff with one end. Jeff holds on so Matt bites his fingers. Jeff fights out of a Side Effect and hits his own Twist of Fate. A Swanton Bomb gets two so Jeff decides to go higher by climbing a tree. What’s the opposite of acrophobia? Acrophilia? I’m starting to think Jeff has that. Matt gets off the ladder setup beneath Jeff and Jeff messes up his fall trajectory so he barely grazes the ladder and must’ve crushed his tailbone. Still, Jeff crawls over for a cover but only gets two.

Matt whacks Jeff’s back with a chair and then pulls out a Roman candle to launch fireworks at his own brother. Jeff uses a garbage can lid as a makeshift shield and screams “WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?!” at his brother. Good question. Too bad there’s no good answer out there. As smoke surrounds the ring Matt pulls out a rake with the intention of finishing Jeff off. Little does he know that Jeff has his own Roman candle and fires it at Matt. Matt: “OH SHIT!”; Jeff: “Damn right, ‘Oh Shit!’”. Matt bolts towards the water until he finds an unlikely shelter. “IT’S A DILAPIDATED BOAT!” Matt screams randomly. And apparently that boat would later be dubbed “The Noble Skaarsgard”, because why not.

Jeff catches up to Matt but Matt puts him in a sleeper hold. Both men fall into a nearby pond but only Matt comes up. Matt thinks Brother Nero “has been flushed”…but then we hear manic cackling. It’s Willow The Wisp, Jeff’s alter-ego. Willow attacks Matt from behind and starts choking him with his umbrella. But here comes Señor Benjamin with a taser. He tases Willow but Willow attacks him and chokes him off-screen. Matt recovers from the sleeper and turns around to find Willow unmoving on the grass. He covers and gets a three-count! Matt wins and – wait, no, he removes the mask and it’s Señor Benjamin. Jeff has pulled a switcheroo!

Matt goes looking for his brother and then Jeff attacks him from out of nowhere. They brawl onto the dirt pile that Señor Benjamin was digging earlier. Jeff puts Matt into a chokehold and Matt goes limp. But in true Jeff Hardy fashion he can’t just go for a cover. He has to dive off something. So he ascends a giant wooden version of his symbol (which I guess is meant to represent his gravestone or something) and then we get a flashback of sorts to earlier when Matt was talking to Reba about the candle for Maxel’s birthday. Reba appears and hands Matt the lit candle, which he then places in the pit and it lights a fire. But if you look closely you can see that a column of fire hits Matt before it engulfs Jeff’s symbol. Matt rolls aside as Jeff is literally knocked from his perch. Matt throws Jeff into the pit and covers him one, two, three! The final shot sees Matt T-posing as Jeff’s symbol burns into the night.

Winner after 9:26 of official action: Matt Hardy

You can watch the full match here.

Review

Few matches from the past two decades are as polarizing as this one. Some people adore it and have praised Matt for his creativity, outside-the-box thinking, and his willingness to do something that doesn’t take itself all that seriously. Others, however, LOATHE this match for its stupid premise, cringeworthy execution, and self-parodying undertones. I don’t think either side is completely right; the match had its fair share of successes and failures depending on the audience. At the end of the day that’s an important point to note whenever one revisits this match and other so-called “cinematic matches”: they are more hit-or-miss with their audience than any other match or wrestler.

Let’s start with the positives: it was novel concept with far more storytelling and production over action. Matt’s execution of this ludicrous concept and his dedication to the gimmick, ludicrous as it was, is commendable. His commitment to the bit led to some truly memorable moments: his constant accent changes, the random one-liners, and the sheer level of unpredictability he brought to the match all help make this into something unique.

Then there’s the overall tone of this match: it’s meant to be laughed at by an audience that may or may not be sober, and it succeeds in getting that reaction. Though the story has this serious undertone the execution of the final encounter has this overarching slapstick nature that makes this into more of an action-comedy style of match or an overt self-parody. This tonal contrast is seen through a few interesting production choices: the “epic music” playing during the match instead of commentary, the torches providing minor lighting around the ring, the use of fireworks and the taser gimmicks towards the end, and the backyard scrap style action towards the end.

As for the negatives, well, some of the positives could just as well be interpreted as drawbacks. All the spectacle and production could be interpreted as making major limitations in genuine action. The uniqueness and goofy nature will not resonate with some audiences and in some cases might turn away audiences altogether. You could call this a case of wrestling snobbery if you want but some fans simply do not like when wrestlers attempt to be creative for creativity’s sake or do not like it when something once presented as serious, credible and legitimate descends into corniness and absurdity.

Then there’s one of the participants in Jeff who simply did not bring the same level of gusto to his performance as Matt. Maybe that was intentional and Jeff was meant to be the straight man to Matt’s exaggerated comedy guy but there were still moments where his words and actions underwhelmed. His dialogue was wooden, his actions in the ring were sloppy and lacking in direction, and he seemed to be completely reliant on Matt to lead the match. He just wasn’t as exciting as Matt from start to finish, save for his dive from the tree (there’s a backyard wrestling term if there ever was one) and the surprise appearance from Willow. As a result it seemed like Matt was carrying more than his fair share of the load to make this into something special.

With all of this said, could this concept be considered a success? Well that depends on your metrics. Was it something new and different? Absolutely. Did it get people talking about the Hardys and IMPACT at large? Definitely. Did it draw? Apparently so. Was it believable? Not particularly. Was it meant to be good and showcase the best of professional wrestling? Not in the slightest; if anything it was meant to be intentionally absurd just to generate attention. In this regard it was like the Goldust character of matches: bizarre, controversial, and attention-grabbing while sacrificing credibility, legitimacy, and self-respect. Given this strong balance between positives and negatives, there’s no way to really give this match anything more than a neutral score.

Final Rating: **1/2

This is a perfect example of the middle-of-the-road match; not amazing, not awful, but still polarizing enough to satisfy some audiences and turn away others. It’s a great case of “beauty is in the eyes of the beholder” with each viewer judging its merits individually. Personally I think the match has enough positives to warrant watching at least once, especially since the concept had legs and there were a few moments where you can’t help but snicker at Matt’s creativity. At the same time it’s far from great and some moments are so sloppy that you can hardly call them “pro wrestling” in any sense and more of just acted-out slapstick or phony stuntwork.

Really the best way to look at this is less from a quality perspective and more from a historical perspective. There have been attempts at cinematic matches both before this one and after it, but this one was the funniest most replayable. It was a big budget version of those backyard stunts found in many of the first twenty or so Botchamania entries. And despite being somewhat facepalm-worthy in many respects this one was still somewhat funny at points. The same cannot be said for most others of its kind and especially its successors, most of which were both intentionally bad and lacking in underlying humor.

Though this match is definitely memorable – for better or for worse – it’s a bit unfortunate that it took something as ludicrous and out there as this for Matt Hardy to finally escape his brother’s shadow.

Thanks for reading.