WWE Evolve Review – 07.09.25

Hola, my peoples! It’s Wednesday night, and…….I’ve done that joke too many weeks in a row. I’m nursing a slight sore throat, folks, and it sucks. I will say that the Target has these amazing new throat drops called “Sootheez” which come in flavors like “birthday cake” and, my God, these things are good. You should all get a sore throat, just so you can eat them. Perfecto said he liked random slices of life from me, and that’s random slice of life number one: TARGET THROAT DROPS. I’m shy.

Enough about throats, sore throats, deep throats, etc. Let’s get to some Evolve action.

THEN. NOW. FOREVER. TOGETHER.

TWO MONTHS AGO, Kali Armstrong pinned Kylie Rae to become the first-ever Evolve champion, snatching the belt hastily from Natalya. Natalya would later save Kali from an attack from Zayda Steel and Nikkita Lyons, and they would eventually beat the heel duo in a tag match. This led to Natalya asking Prime Minister and Former Podcaster Stevie Turner for a title match versus Kali, which then led to a contract signing that went as contract signings usually go.

Natalya and Kali enter the PC. Not sure Natalya needs that denim jacket on a hot Florida afternoon.

To the ring we go!

TIMOTHY THATCHER VS. KEANU CARVER

Timothy is taking it upon himself to stand up for the WWE ID talent here. As Thatcher never seems to win anything on here, I don’t think the result is in doubt. They square off and exchange punches and uppercuts, with Thatcher getting the upper hand. Thatcher goes for the choke and gets Carver down to one knee. Carver launches Thatcher into the corner but gets caught up in several catch-as-catch-can maneuvers, as pointed out by Robert Stone. Thatcher kicks the arm and gets a two count before going back to the hammerlock. Thatcher then goes for the legs and locks on a surfboard, as the graphic reminds us that Thatcher once beat Drew McIntyre for the original Evolve title. Their fortunes then went in slightly different directions, as a green rookie on the lowest WWE brand hits a fallaway slam for two on Thatcher while Drew’s making bank off “Bored at Work” shirts. Keanu goes for the submission, Thatcher fights out, but meets a nasty clothesline for two. World’s Strongest Slam by Keanu for two. Keanu misses the charge into the corner, and here come the uppercuts again by Thatcher. Keanu comes back with punches and uppercuts of his own. Thatcher reverses into the armbar, then lands some body shots. All this, of course, was all setup for the fact that Keanu can hit the POUNCE at any time, no matter how many knots you attempt to tie him into, which he does. Does he go for the pin? Nope. Keanu goes nuts choking Thatcher against the ropes, doesn’t break on the five count, and gets DQ’d for his efforts.

WINNER: TIMOTHY THATCHER (by DQ)

MATCH RATING: B – The ending certainly lowers things a bit, and I’m pretty sure this was the first DQ on Evolve ever (correct me if I’m wrong on that.). The rest was quite good, if a bit methodical, as the story being told was the crafty veteran trying to wear the power guy down.

KEANU: A – Keanu was led very well here by Thatcher and was made to look like a million bucks. His selling was sold throughout, I must say.

THATCHER: A – His job was to carry the big man, and that he did. What an asset he is here.

Keanu refuses to let go of the choke, drawing the rest of the referees out to stop the insanity.

Vanity Project is backstage with Stevie, and FORGET ABOUT THATCHER, says Jackson Drake. Let’s talk about how Lince Dorado stole his win last week. Stevie informs Drake there will be a contract signing for an Evolve title match, occurring next week, tonight. Jordan Oasis briefly enters the frame and tells Drake to sign his name right on the contract tonight. I have no clue why that happened other than Oasis being a hobo.

CHANTEL MONROE VS. MASYN HOLIDAY

Chantel has her trusty compact with her, and Peter Rosenberg’s still traumatized by Keanu Carver not breaking a five-count. This is a man who’s probably interviewed both Diddy and R. Kelly, but this is what bugs him. Layla Diggs comes out with Masyn, as I wonder what the heck happened to Layla’s Best Friend Aria Bennett. Layla and Masyn have a pre-tape in which they said they’ve tried being friends with Chantel, but she’s just not having it. Lock up to start, and they exchange arm twists. Chantel grabs the hair and hits a wristlock. Masyn takes her down for a two count, and we are BACK to the wristlock. Crossbody from Masyn for two and back to the arm we go. We’re about twenty minutes into this show, and we have worked the arm A LOT. Chantel rams Masyn’s head into two corners, but Masyn blocks the third and gets a roll up for two. Natural Selection hits for Chantel for two, and we WORK THE ARM. Masyn gets the comeback, with a couple of dropkicks and a standing splash for two. Chantel fights out of a fireman’s carry, goes for what seems like a Sky High, but meets a Codebreaker by Chantel for the pin.

WINNER: Chantel Monroe

MATCH RATING: C – Your developmental special, made slightly better by both wrestlers at least understanding their role.

Chantel: C+ It’s not at all there with the ring work yet, but she at least understands that she’s a heel, peppering the match with hair pulls, not breaking clean, etc. It’s something, but I have no idea if she’s ever going to turn into anything.

Masyn: C – Pretty much the babyface version of Chantel here, except she’s even greener. Squint and there’s something, but it’s really, really early.

Chantel grabs the mic and says she’s leaving Masyn and Layla in the past. She’s focused on the Evolve title, will be watching tonight’s match, and……here’s Kylie Rae, who reminds us she had the biggest win of her career a few weeks ago versus Wendy Choo. She reminds Chantel she’s also part of the conversation, and here’s…….Tyra Mae Steele? That was a quick demotion. Chantel takes umbrage, but Tyra informs us that she is now in Evolve and wants the winner of Natalya and Kali as well. Barbs are traded between all three. Chantel goes to attack Kylie but eats a German suplex from Tyra. Chantel had some Naomi vibes here, but otherwise, this was rough. I like Tyra, but her presentation from moment to moment lacks consistency. The athletic ability is there in spades, but I’m not sure the entertainment side is there. Being demoted after one NXT match is rough as well. Take those lumps and figure it out. There’s a star in there somewhere.

Chuey Martinez is backstage with Stevie Turner, looking for an update on Timothy Thatcher and, oh, ffs, it’s Ridge Holland. Just cut the dude already. Stevie says there’s no spot for Ridge, but here’s Tate Wilder! He’ll gladly fight for law, order, justice, and idk what else. Lots of wrestlers could use a spot on this show. Ridge F’ing Holland is not one of them.

Wendy Choo sleeps backstage as the same table and chair setup from last week’s contract signing is back out again. Lince Dorado is sporting a business casual look which should be a complete color clash, but works quite alright. Vanity Project all come out and, while both announcers claim they’re all wearing matches shades of red, Brad Baylor must have been left out of the text chain coordinating it all, dressed more like me on a Sunday. Drake claims Stevie must have some sort of beef with him if Lince’s getting a title match after one win, and one in which he needed the LWO’s help to get by. Lince speaks, saying he was here initially to help out the young talent, but things have changed, and now he wants Drake’s Evolve title. Lince was here before Drake ever stepped into the ring, and he’ll be here after the hype is gone. Drake tells Lince to cut the yapping. Drake is the first champ because no one can match his charisma, ability, and star power. Unlike La Yesca, Drake fights back. Well, that’s a burn. Drake briefly fumbles with the pen before signing the contract, tossing the pen at Lince. Lince notes Drake didn’t actually read the contract, which states that Vanity Project are banned from ringside, with any interference resulting in Drake losing his title. Lince drops a hondo and leaves the ring without any fisticuffs occurring. Drake acts pissed. Should have read the contract, bro.

Natalya, apparently replacing Baylor on the “wear red tonight” text chain, does some dance aerobics in preparation for her title match.

Kendal Gray and Carlee Bright are in that same corner of the locker room where the ladies usually hang out, and Carlee has just lost her mojo since getting attacked several weeks ago. She’ll be cleared this weekend for action, though, and Kendal promises they will find the attacker together.

Chuey is backstage with Sean Legacy, who tells Chuey that Thatcher was taken to the hospital following the attack earlier by Keanu Carver. Legacy will not stand for this bullying, and he is coming after Keanu.

NEXT WEEK, we’ll have a triple threat match between Chantel Monroe, Tyra Mae Steele, and Kyle Rae, as well as the Evolve Men’s Championship match between Jackson Drake and Lince Dorado.

It’s main event time!

KALI ARMSTRONG VS. NATALYA (WWE Evolve Women’s Championship match)

Kali wears the belt backwards coming out, a la John Cena, then reversing it back to the front, and we get the big match introductions. Hard lockup to start, with mutual respect shown. Kali trips Natalya down, but Natalya trips her right back and goes for the armbar before attempting a lateral press for two. Some nice mat work from both, with Kali staying right there with Natalya on some reversals. Natalya trips Kali up again, and we get our second surfboard of the night. Punches by Natalya. Kali misses a charge into the corner, but blocks the slingshot bulldog attempt into a clothesline as we cut to break. Kali is hitting some shots in the corner when we come back from break, and they both take turns getting some more shots in. Kali gets an abdominal stretch which, like everything in this match, gets reversed by Natalya into her own. Gorilla Monsoon might not approve of either’s attempt here. Kali finally cinches it in, Natalya powers out, and hits the discus clothesline for two. Both ladies are down, with Kali getting up first. Punches are exchanged. Natalya with the Russian leg sweep for two. Natalya goes for the sharpshooter, but have you even worked the leg yet? I think not. Natalya eventually hits the springboard bulldog and the low dropkick for two and a half. Davey Boy powerslam gets two for Kali, who then works the chin and back. Kali goes for the slam, but Natalya reverses into an ankle lock. Kali rolls Natalya into the ropes, but Natalya reverses and we hit another series of pin attempts before Natalya locks in a crossface. Kali misses with the Kali Connection, and here’s the sharpshooter! Will Kali tap?!?!?! No, as Kali hits the ropes. Kali bounces Nattie’s neck off the ropes……Kali Connection! Natalya’s too close to the ropes. Kali pulls her to the middle…..1….2….3!

WINNER: KALI ARMSTRONG

MATCH RATING: A– Absolutely one of the best matches in this show’s brief history, as the champ matched the veteran ring general on every beat. Yes, it was slow at times, but it all worked beautifully.

KALI: A – She kept up with Natalya every step of the way, and absolutely put herself on the map here as someone who very ready for the next step in her development. Serious kudos here.

NATTIE: A – Nattie gets all the flowers for coming down here and putting Kali over. Things like this only help to pad a HOF career. I wish every professional wrestler possessed a quarter of the grace this woman has.

Nattie and Kali embrace, with Natalya raising Kali’s hand in the end. We don’t deserve her.

HERE’S JIN TALA attacking Kali from behind, and admitting to being the backstage attacker. Tala has apparently read chapter two of the “show anger” handbook. Someone alert Carlee and Kendal that their calendar emptied up this weekend.

OVERALL RATING: B+ A lot happened here. I’m not super keen on the Tyra demotion, and Ridge taking up any sort of space here, but many talents got time to shine here, and we had two legit good matches featuring both veteran and green talent. If you’ve wanted to check the show out, but haven’t, you could do worse than starting here.

See ya Sunday for LFG!