Live Feed Mania – WWF Smackdown 02/08/00

WWF @ Austin, TX – February 8, 2000 (12,337; sell out)

We’ll go back in time because there’s a few of these I missed that aren’t from Richard Land. His evil, larger brother Richard World. Anyway it’s a hot, hot time for WWF and hopefully that will translate to this feed!

Sunday Night Heat

D’Lo Brown (w/ the Godfather) vs. Headbanger Mosh (w/ Headbanger Thrasher)

We get thirty minutes of test graphics and then we’re JIP to the two guys stuck in teams going nowhere. Brown is still dressing like The Godfather, and The Headbangers were somehow still on TV. Their last televised match as a team would be March which is nuts to me. Thrasher cheats behind the ref’s back while Godfather and his army of Hos loudly complain. Brown’s outfit is overly colourful like a pantomime character, no wonder he didn’t mind Lo Down’s attire. Brown makes a comeback with a neckbreaker. Crowd are shocked when the D’Lo Leg Drop doesn’t get the pin. Thrasher decides to do the ol’ twin magic despite them not being THAT similar looking but jumps off the top rope directly into a Sky High for the pin at 3:47. Nothing match, sweet finish.

Cole and Kelly talk to the camera but this feed isn’t set up to record the commentary feed so they’re even more useless than usual.

WWF Light Heavyweight Title

Gillberg vs. Essa Rios (w/ Lita)

Watching Gillberg’s entrance and seeing the crowd join in with the piped-in chants is one of life’s little pleasures. Especially when the actual version was off TV until June so it’s even more biting than usual.

Gillberg wants to put his title on the line because he’s held it for fifteen months and is sick of people calling him a closet champion. Is that a term? Everyone knows Goldberg is a locker champion. And who should challenge him but the official repackaging and renaming of Papi Chulo to Essa Rios with the TV debut of Lita! Still using his old theme though.

Gillberg lands the spear instantly but Essa backflips over him to land a spinning leg kick before The Giant Fucking Essa Rios Moonsault ends Gillberg’s reign of terror to a nice reaction. Even nicer is Lita landing a follow-up moonsault as Essa makes the pin. Nice way to push Rios and more importantly Lita, as well as establishing that it’s a new era for the title that had been forgotten about (until they forgot about it shortly afterwards).

Gillberg had actually defended the title multiple times before this, but mostly at indie shows. On WWF TV he’d retained against Christian, TAKA and Matt Hardy. This would be Gillberg’s last WWF/WWE match until the 2007 Gimmick Battle Royal on Raw.

Mark Henry vs. The Big Boss Man (w/ Mae Young)

Sexual Chocolate gets a giant pop, this crowd rules. As a kid I assumed Sexual Chocolate was a food Mark ate because he was fat. If I had called a black guy “chocolate” as a kid, I’d have got my fucking head kicked in. Boss Man gets shoved outside several times so he decides to go for his night stick. Ref tells him to put it down or get DQ’d so he complies, only for Mae to grab it and chase Boss Man around the outside. Crowd goes nuts for that. Boss Man launches Henry into the ring steps so he can take over for a bit. He runs right into a belly-to-belly and panics loudly. Big Boss Ham absolutely eats all the shit on Henry’s crazy exit-the-ring move.

Mae decides to throw Boss Man’s stick in the ring to help, but it’s intercepted easily and used on Mark for the roll-up at 4:47. Maybe the best match of Boss Man’s 1998 – 2002 run. Quick, silly and with a loud crowd.

Tony Chimel shills the new merch as the crowd boos him haha. YEAH FUCK YOU.

Viscera vs. Funaki

Funaki (“from Japan”) is supposed to be face. I think? He jumps right into a sidewalk slam to get this sucker started off quick before jumping directly into a fall forward slam. Crowd appreciate the big moves because they make a big noise. Viscera misses a Patera Charge so Funaki can go up top to miss another move, before going back up top yet again to have a Frankensteiner turned into a Powerbomb before getting pinned after a running splash at 2:18. Very effective squash for Viscera to get him ready for that hot Mark Henry feud people still talk about.

Joey Abs (w/ Pete Gas & Rodney) vs. Tazz

Joey Abs is not happy with having to wrestle Tazz. I think his feelings were echoed by many in the locker room as Tazz was still treating himself uber-serious at this point. Abs is mandhandled with ease as Tazz lariats him before delivering a Northern Lights Tazzplex. A brief brawl outside allows Rodney to clothesline the big man down. Abs stomps away and lands a Vader Bomb for two. Posse are entertaining yelling at ringside. Taz comes back with a T-Bone Tazzplex before sending Abs into Pete Gas on the apron, setting Abs up for the Tazzmission at 3:06.

Abs is so pissed off with Rodney that he throws him into the ring so he can face Tazz himself. After a successful leapfrog, Rodney celebrates which results in him being launched over the top rope onto the rest of the Posse. Just another big, dumb inoffensive squash in a string of them tonight.

Not recorded was a dark match featuring Brian Kendrick & Lance Cade vs. American Dragon (Bryan Danielson) & Shooter Schultz. It would end up on Daniel Bryan’s Blu-Ray Just Say “Yes! Yes! Yes!” Luckily for us we instead have a commercial for I Dare You: The Ultimate Challenge.

Smackdown!

Dramatic recap of The Radicalz turning on Cactus Jack, despite the guy being responsible for bringing them into the company in kayfabe. HHH joins in the assault and vows even worse for Cactus later that night, which causes The Rock to help in along with Rikishi & Too Cool to give us that amazing ten man main event that many have given the full five stars to. Oh and to top THAT, Kane returns with Paul Bearer and the bad ass black-with-red trim look to clean house because life was good.

WWF European Title

Val Venis (c) vs. Kurt Angle

Venis has been European Champion since defeating British Bulldog (and D’Lo) in a three-way at Armageddon. This is his seventh defence of an incredibly forgettable reign that I have to imagine happened because they needed the belt off of Bulldog ASAP.

Angle apologises for giving Mae Young an Olympic Slam on Raw, he honestly thought it was Mark Henry. Kurt knows he is still a role model to the elderly so will win the European Title for them. Even though he’s in Texas where most people don’t know where Europe is, because of how bad the school system is. Don’t worry, Kurt will educate them once he’s won the title! Kurt was still ironing out the creases to his act but was still fun.

You know it’s a big match when Val has his special black towel. Kurt Pearl Harbours Val as he stripteases. Val blocks an axe handle slam off the apron with a punch to the gut so he can bounce Kurt around. Kurt uses his intelligence to cut off Val as he enters the ring like in the video games. Lawler is unhappy with the Texans booing kurt so he asks if Cole remembers the Alamo because Mae Young told him it was horrible. “Angle Sucks” chants distract Kurt long enough for Val to come back with a knee drop. Val’s Seaman Suplex gets such a close two count that the crowd think the match is over (get used to seeing plenty of those from Kurt). Val tries the Money Shot but Kurt crotches him and delivers the Angle Slam (called a “Fireman’s Carry” by Cole) to win his very first WWF Title at 3:13. Kurt naturally celebrates on the ramp like he won another gold medal. Basic but decent match to get Kurt pushed as soon as humanly possible because he getting very good very quick. Also Venis’ best match in months after having to deal with Jeans Bulldog and a no-selling Rock.

Backstage, DX & Radicalz mock Kurt for celebrating. Steph says that they need to do something about those guys who embarrassed them on Raw, with the entire show dedicated to their revenge. X-Pac is given Kane, to which he complains about until HHH makes it a handicap match. Everyone is happy.

We get an interview that I think is exclusive to the live crowd of Perry Saturn not caring about the reception he’s going to get tonight because the only thing that matters is the McMahon-Helmsley Organization.

Perry Saturn vs. Grandmaster Sexay

The second part of The Radicalz theme is way more interesting than the generic start. One minute in:

Perry clobbers Sexay until Brian comes back with a missile dropkick to the back of the head, giving him enough time to take his jacket off. Sexay lands his Sunset Flip to the outside which was fairly nuts to have as a regular mid-match move. Saturn lands a T-Bone Suplex as there’s noticeable cheers for Saturn, despite his pre-match promo. Wow, they really love him in Texas. Other crowd members chant “SATURN SUCKS” to balance things out. Saturn armbars Bri to set up the Rings before going back to doing cool ass stuff like top rope elbows. A focused Saturn looks like the star WCW fans imagined he was going to be in WWF. Sexay crotches him to make a dance-filled comeback, with Saturn’s kick out drawing boos because these are some great fans. Ref gets bumped but Sexay busts out the Hip Hop Legdrop anyway, with the ref very slowly counting a near-fall. Fans are furious now. Saturn rolls a complaining Sexay over with the Rings Of Saturn for the submission at 7:40 as the ref misses Sexay’s foot on the rope.

Saturn looked every bit the hired gun/mercenary type role that he looked ready to fill. Shame things rarely work out how you think.

Also wow, seven minutes on WWF TV? That’s like Ben Hur compared to the usual length of mid-card matches on TV during this time, I guess The Radz got to keep their match lengths when they left WCW.

We get a collection of sound-bites of people talking about the XFL. “It’s not a league for people for pansies or sissies!” yells Vince. Yeah or for people who want their ACLs to work.

Best bit of the 30 for 30 doc was finding out that despite all of the shit-talking Vince did about NFL during this time, he didn’t even watch football.

Edge & Christian vs. The Dudley Boyz

On Raw, The Outlaws retained their tag titles against E & C thanks to Bubba’s interference. Also did you know Edge is marrying Val Venis’ sister? Don’t worry about it, they’re not together any more.

The Dudley Boyz defeated The Godfather & D’Lo, and while BB The EMT was checking on Godfather’s leg post-match, The Duds attempted to put her through a table. Luckily for her, E & C saved the day so Edge could cheat on her.

Hot start with no tagging but The Duds get the advantage after Bubba mouths off to Christian and he looks, the fool. Headbutt To The Crotch doesn’t have the WASSSUP yet because they’re still technically heels. Even with Bubba being an arsehole and yelling a lot, that wouldn’t last long. Bubba tries for a chair but the ref stops him from using it, which allows Bubba to keep the advantage on Christian. Huh. Well the crowd is eating it all up anyway so who cares. Tornado DDT allows Christian to tag out to a hot Edge. Bubba tries to Samoan Drop Edge but he blows his knee out, allowing Edge to dropkick D-Von into a Christian Sunset Flip at 5:11.

Bubba cries in pain at ringside until BB and her crew show up to check on him until Bubba reveals IT WAS A SET UP ALL ALONG so D-Von drags her into the ring to take the Powerbomb through the table. E & C show up way too late to do anything so D-Von protects Bubba’s euphoria with VICIOUS chair shots.

I knew Bubba’s knee injury was fake because he didn’t land on Batista or Orton in the same match.

Post-post match BB is stretchered out. Who is the BB for BB? CC? Anyway that’d be her last appearance for WWF before showing up twice for WCW and once for NWA: TNA.

Dean Malenko vs. Scotty 2 Hotty

We start off hot as Scotty fakes a crossbody (continuity from his mate’s match earlier), Malenko ducks so Hotty tries for a top rope moonsault, Malenko dodges, runs into a drop toe hold to get sent outside. Hotty was perfect for Malenko, he hadn’t had the chance to wrestle someone his build and size in millennia. Malenko blocks a roll up with a Waterwheel Slam, which leads to Eddy show up for massive heat despite being from Texas. Eddy’s presence removes a lot of the focus on Deano’s impressive working of Hotty’s leg so I’ll skip to Hotty landing the W-O-R-M. Eddy sends him off the top rope so Deano can lock in the Texas Cloverleaf at 4:42. Malenko’s work was tremendous as he was motivated, but it’s a shame they’d already decided his fate.

Eddy kicks Hotty down until Sexay makes the save. Eddy being injured I think ended up helping him because it meant he could ham it up at ringside and get more heat then he maybe would have got competing with the other ring generals.

We get a live feed taping of Saturn & Benoit filming their bit where they watch their mates kick Too Cool down. Benoit seems especially happy at witnessing violence.

Tazz is in a scrapyard to tell us The Mood Is About To Change. Yeah, grumpy to miserable.

WWF Tag Team Champions New Age Outlaws (Billy Gunn & Road Dogg) vs. The Rock & Cactus Jack

The evil bad New Age Outlaws do their opening spiel to massive cheers.

Cactus Jack tells us there’s 17 days until the biggest match of his life…Hell in a Cell awww dammit we missed the announcement. And it may not be Hell in a Cell tonight but these two will have Hell…to pay! The Rock’s deafening pop does a run in to start the match which is non-title.

A fan in the front row holds up a WE WANT TUGBOAT sign.

Give it two months.

Cactus starts off and you’d think they’d beat him up for a bit but Cactus is on offence for a whole minute before tagging in Rock, who is contractually obligated to beat up Billy Gunn whenever feasible. Gunn bounces for him until he lands a bulldog and tags in Road Dogg who gets his wacky punches in while he gets double teamed. So Rock is playing the role of Cactus? That’s nice of him. Oh wait, Rock makes his own comeback and Dogg takes the rock bottom but Billy pulls the ref out. Cactus tries to help but somehow Billy twats Rock with the tag title and…Rock kicks out. Crowd is the middle of a just-microwaved Ginster’s pastY because they are molten. Rock makes the hot tag to Cactus who immediately bites Dogg and then it all breaks down with Dogg taking a lead pipe to the head but Cactus pulls him up at 2 so he can deliver the pull-up piledriver to beat the champs at 6:56.

A crazy hot tag match on the way to Cactus’ retirement. I’m OK with them pinning the champs because Cactus needed revenge on them after losing the tag titles with Al Snow, back when WWF would remember things that happened months ago. Crowd really started at a 10 and only came down to like a 8 during certain moments.

On the live feed, Chimel has to tell people that there’s still plenty more action so don’t leave yet. Ha! This show has delivered so much that fans were like “you know what, I’m full.”

Gangrel & Luna vs. Albert & WWF Women’s Champion Jackie

What’s the only thing hotter than that match? Why, the pits of Hell that Gangrel and Luna emerge from!

On Raw, Jacky beat Luna in a Women’s Title defence so the vampires with too much salt in their blood attacked Jacky after the match.

Albert tries to put his hands on Luna so Gangrel attacks, which leads to Jacky tagging in for a small package for two. Luna follows up with a quick DDT to stunned silence.

Afterwards Albert delivers a Baldo Bomb and Jacky slams Luna and then we quickly cut away.

Cos it’s a Filler! Filler night! There ain’t no second chance against Albert and his hairy eyes, girl…

Phone Free presents: The Radicalz turning on Cactus Jack. Yeah they’re free…free from Kevin Sullivan and Mike Graham.

Rikishi vs. Chris Benoit

It’s the battle of the lads HHH made credible this year. Maybe TAKA will run in to make it a three way.

Rikishi is not in the mood after watching his mates get destroyed earlier so he launches Chris into the ring steps. Benoit’s killer instinct is brought up by Lawler as he chops the bejesus out of Rikishi and wears him down, ignoring any of Rikishi’s offence. Kishi butts him but the Kishi Driver is wriggled out of so Benoit locks in the Crossface but he’s able to get the ropes. WHAT? Well that move would be treated a lot more serious in a hurry. Benoit somehow by god delivers a northern lights suplex for two.

They exchange sleepers (to big cheers!) until Benoit back suplexes Rikishi but misses the diving headbutt. Benoit then walks into a superkick and belly-to-belly but as Rikishi sets up the Banzai Drop, The Radicalz run in for the DQ at 4:07. Too Cool show up to even the odds with Perry taking a belly-to-belly to start the dance party. See at least that’s a reasonable reason for a DQ because the other members had been such a bunch of dicks all night that their mates can’t take it anymore. The dance party is so damn over too. The match at NWO 2000 would end up being a better display of The Radicalz ability so yes to all of this.

During the live feed break: More dancing!

Backstage, Blackman is warming up with his sticks until Al Snow charges in with a boombox playing Lloyd Price’s Personality. Al yells Blackman needs to get one. Funaki walks in and says “ooo it’s Head Cheese!” which annoys Blackman because he hates the idea and name. OK look, my personal peeve is that Head Cheese were genuinely getting over with the dynamic until Wrestlemania 2000 soured them to the higher ups (and fans).

Al Snow & Steve Blackman vs. Matt & Jeff Hardy

The Hardys are presented by WWF Meat Snacks. The catchphrase is legitimately WHO SAYS WE DON’T HAVE GREAT TASTE?

Comes in four lovely flavours: beef, beef, beef and big red ret-uhhhh beef.

Al snow has his funky blue gear which doesn’t stop the crowd from chanting for Head Cheese. Jeff tries for a Whisper in the Wind and hits Al but also misses him too. Ah. Crowd is so hot that they don’t care and chant for HEAD CHEESE so loud I have to type it in caps lock. Al takes all the Hardyz trademark moves until Blackman makes the save with Blackman and Al bouncing Jeff brutally with a chestbreaker. Steve gives a front suplex to matt on the ring steps as Lawler admonishes his lack of emotion. Blackman gets distracted by the chants which causes him to miss a diving headbutt. Hey why’s he doing that move still? That’s a faux pas, get your own god damn top rope move. No, we don’t care if you were doing it first. Jeff makes a comeback and lands a beautiful tope con hello that would have been way nicer if Al had caught him. The Dudleys show up to chair shot Jeff to set up the Demolition Decapitation But With A Leg Drop to finish at 5:04. Honest to God, Head Cheese were more over than The Hardyz here. It’s interesting to think of how things changed because of one bad match. Nice action here despite Al’s best attempts to fuck it up.

We get a brutal WWF Dot Com advert that has nothing to do with wrestling, it’s a guy in an empty room picking his nose. These felt at least two years out of date at this point.

No DQ Handicap Match

WWF IC Champion Chris Jericho vs. Crash & Hardcore Holly

Also Jericho has one arm tied behind his back, I assume because he said he could do that in a promo on Raw. Jericho even does his Christ pose with one arm too.

Also make sure to tune in to Operation Sandman: Warriors In Hell! Starring Hardcore Holly!

In the heat of an American desert, Captain Jean Farrell arrives at a secret military installation, run by the enigmatic Doctor Harlan Jessup. Jessup is conducting ‘Operation Sandman’, an experiment involving a group of soldiers who have volunteered to be injected with ‘the Juice’, a drug which enables them to function without sleep. The team of soldiers, led by gruff and abusive ‘Gunny’ Riggins continually takes part in Virtual Reality scenarios whereby they face terrorists, kidnappers, guerrillas and a plethora of other situations that demand split-second timing, and undying obedience in the face of danger. They have continued for nearly three weeks without sleep, and their response times and reactions are better than ever. But there is a problem. As the test continues, the soldiers begin to see ‘freaks’, hallucinations that intrude on their consciousness and disturb their concentration. Jessup is on the point of getting government funding for the project and cannot afford hiccups, so Army Psychologist Farrell is called in to give the project a clean bill of health. But when she arrives, she discovers one of the soldiers is dead – he has apparently committed suicide using a hand grenade. But, she discovers, the shredded body contains no shrapnel, and there was no sound of an explosion. So, she wonders, how can a soldier be killed by a grenade that never existed?

I’m not saying it’s low rent but Holly is on the poster.

Here’s a review from IMDB

Operation Sandman is not your typical made for television garbage. It’s a very cool movie with a very different look. There are some shots of the actors in the desert that are similar to those of Three Kings. There’s a good blend of action and suspense with shades of Flatliners, Nightscare, and Universal Soldier. That, along with a good cast, make this UPN original a cut above the rest. The cast includes Ron Perlman (Blade II), Richard Tyson (Three O’Clock High), and…Hardcore Bob Holly. Yeah, you heard me. Holly, who is given little screen time, actually impressed me (I’ll take him over The Rock any day). But the real saving graces are Perlman and Tyson. Tyson has one of the best lines in the film: “When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.” That’s just bad ass. There’s a shot of him with wild, crazy eyes and a burning American flag in the background that’s absolutely insane looking. And Perlman is at his best in this role. He’s a B-movie actor with A-list talent who lends credibility to some bizarre flicks. Overall, the movie is effectively creepy, the direction is great, and it was way better than I expected.

Anyway the match goes five seconds until The Acolytes show up to attack The Hollys. Jericho then casually pins Crash at 1:10. Oh, it’s the Smackdown debut of The APA as a concept. Well it was a great way to get that idea across as WWF is currently shitting great ideas.

During the live feed, Chimel shills more shirts and gets more boos.

Oh and Chyna is going to be on 3rd Rock From The Sun and The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Jesus, WWF is invading everywhere. Except Walmart.

WWF World Champion Triple H (w/ Stephanie McMahon) & X-Pac (w/ Tori) vs. Kane

Kane’s entrance is so impressive it knocks the feed loose.

When we come back, Kane is getting pounded by both men so vigorously you’d think he was on fire. Oh sorry. Kane blocks the Bronco Buster with a chokeslam as X-Pac is doing a wonderful job as the annoying bastard. Kane dominates both and connects with the top-rope clothesline and then chokeslams a diving X-Pac. HHH gets a chokeslam too but he doesn’t like that so he delivers a chair to Kane for the DQ at 5:27. Kane no sells it as the crowd explodes, complete with HHH overreacting by going “woah woah why are you not down??”

Tori runs in to attack Kane but he prepares the chokeslam with refs running in to take their shots instead from big Kane. Crowd now rabid anticipating the chokeslam but…Kane can’t do it. Awwww. Crowd boos as Tori is relieved…until Kane decides to Tombstone her instead.

And that’s your Smackdown as the crowd are losing their minds.

Post-show Stuff

Chimel thanks the fans for showing up. And then they leave. Because the show is over.

Overall: What a bloody marvelous double header of Sunday Night/Smackdown/Double title change/Double Debut. Hell yeah, what an amazingly hot time for the company, and a great time to be a 13 year old wrestling fan. If you loved intergender action then WWF 2000 was the place to be!

I’ve been Maffew.