MID-Tier Match Reviews: John Cena vs. Mark Henry – WWE Money In The Bank 2013

On paper a singles match between John Cena and Mark Henry might look like a complete wash. After all neither man was ever known for setting the world on fire in terms of quality matches, especially in 2013 when WWE was firmly in its own self-contained universe and any notion of other styles was immediately swept under the rug. But sometimes all it takes is one spark, one surprise, to change everything. And that’s exactly what happened with Mark Henry.

These days Mark Henry is known for a handful of specific things: his Hall of Pain gimmick, his ludicrous strength (which, all things considered, wasn’t used to its fullest when he was in his prime), and his epic, 5-Star retirement speech. You know, the one with the salmon jacket that had everyone getting all teary-eyed, only for him to swerve everyone with one of the best-executed swerves in modern times? That one.

In the years that followed that speech has taken on a life of its own. Henry’s fellow legends have praised it for how captivating and believable it was. Henry alleges that he got a phone call from Hulk Hogan who said that was the only time someone in the business actually got him. Even Henry’s salmon-colored jacket has become a talking point among nostalgic fans. But at the end of the day this was still a promo to setup a match. And if the promo was so outstanding, surely the match it led to was just as good, right? Right?

The Match

This took place on July 14, 2013. It was rated ***1/4 out of five by the Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer.

The crowd is extremely loud as the bell rings. Cena rushes Henry but runs into a brick wall as Henry lands a kneelift. Henry follows with a big head-butt and chokes Cena in a corner. He hammer throws Cena into the opposite corner and the crowd appears to be at least split 50/50 supporting both guys. Henry lands a corner body block for one, lands another head-butt, and then drops Cena stomach-first from a gourdbuster onto the ringsteps.

Back in the ring Henry gets a two-count so he lands a running body splash onto Cena against the ropes. Cena tries fighting back and even lands a decent dropkick but Henry drops him with a clothesline. Henry does a short giant swing, presumably to stop the crowd from cheering him so much since he’s supposed to be the heel here. Cena falls to ringside but finds no safety as Henry sowings him head-first into a barricade.

Henry sends Cena into another corner and charges but this time Cena sidesteps. He goes for a scoop slam but Henry’s too big and crushes Cena with his weight for another near-fall. Cena fights out of a chinlock and eventually, with plenty of effort and exertion, gets Henry off his feet. Cena “lands” a back suplex (in reality he gets Henry like three inches off the mat) and lands the Five-Knuckle Shuffle. He tries the AA but still lacks the strength. Henry covers but only gets two. Henry tries a running powerslam but Cena counters into a tornado DDT. Cena follows with an AA and connects this time…but only gets two. Cena sells this so well, like “what do I do now? I can’t do that same move again!”. Somewhat panicked, Cena goes to the top rope for, of all things, a crossbody. Big mistake. Henry smashes Cena with a World’s Strongest Slam…also for two.

Frustrated, Henry grabs two chairs in full view of the ref. this distracts said ref long enough for Henry to remove one of the turnbuckle pads. Henry goes to smash Cena into that exposed corner but Cena counters and sends Henry into it instead. Cena applies an STF but Henry gets a ropebreak. Cena goes to capitalize but Henry shoves him back and into the referee. Of course there’s a ref bump. Henry uses this to land a low blow, which explains why Cena has never fathered any children. One, two, Cena kicks out. Henry tries another Slam. Cena escapes and locks in another STF. Henry tries crawling to the ropes. Cena pulls him back. Henry taps. Cena wins, LOL.

Winner and STILL WWE Champion after 14:45: John Cena

Review

The general consensus around this match for the past decade-plus and that largely remains the same now. This was a 1980s Hogan-versus-monster-of-the-week match with a 2010s wrapping. Henry was completely acceptable as the immovable object for Cena to try and overcome. And while Cena could never be Hogan no matter how hard he tried (for better or for worse), he did a serviceable job playing FIP against a monster threat. Henry was the star of the match even though he didn’t win. Then again no one expected that he would: this entire program was meant as a placeholder for Cena as other, bigger feuds were put in place for him. It just so happened that Mark Henry decided to put on the promo of a lifetime which sold him as an instant threat. With one promo Henry went from being something of an afterthought with a passable yet underwhelming career to a legitimate badass that you wanted to see crush Cena like a pebble.

But even though about half the crowd wanted to see Henry overpower Cena it just wasn’t meant to be. In the end it was the same old story we’ve all seen before, albeit with a sudden and bland turnaround. The match was 75% Henry manhandling Cena and looking like the beater of worlds, only for him to be felled by the simplest of foils when he dodged a corner charge and hit the unpadded turnbuckle. Oh no, if it isn’t the consequences of my own actions. It was a logical turnaround but a tacky one as well: the only way for Cena to overcome this obstacle was for Henry to be hoisted by his own petard. It might not be the most exciting of ways for an underdog babyface to find his opening, but I guess it proves the old saying true: if you see your enemies making a mistake, don’t interrupt them. So Cena just let Henry power through and get comfortable enough to get a full head of steam, only for it to blow up in his face.

I just wish that Cena actually got more offense in before he actually got the win. The abruptness and short length of time of his comeback juxtaposed next to his lengthy period selling and on defense made Henry suddenly go from monster threat to simple piece of heavy weight. The way Cena just locked in his weak looking STF without actually hurting Henry enough beforehand made Henry’s earlier domination come off as hollow. Comparing this match with Cena’s 2007 match with Umaga (which is one of the best matches Cena has ever had) this one just seems like filler and not on the same level as Cena’s greatest performances since it went in a similar direction as Cena/Umaga yet didn’t hit the same high notes.

Final Rating: ***1/4

This is a good match but unfortunately it isn’t all that exceptional. Henry had one last chance at singles glory and unfortunately he was booked to dominate and then fall down like a stack of cards, which didn’t do all that much for him. Even though the match is fairly short and benefits from a loud, split crowd, the action is also fairly underwhelming, especially considering that Cena could deliver in the ring when the time called for him to do so. It’s unfortunate, really, that for such a great hype promo to sell this match the end result could’ve been better.

But hey, at least Henry managed one last moment in the spotlight and has a special moment to his name, which is more than what can be said about many other lumbering big men to go through WWE’s doors.

Thanks for reading.