The Fan-Cam Files: WWF @ The Nassau Coliseum – 01.05.1996

We’re back with more Fan-Cam excitement. I’m not going to lie, this wasn’t my first choice for the next show to cover, but in 10 reviews, I’ve covered shows from 1994 four times, and the show I intended to cover was from… you guessed it, 1994. So the coin toss was between 1992 and 1996, and here we are, just two weeks away from the Royal Rumble.

This card taught me a lesson that if I’m unfamiliar with a show, I should watch through it once so I know what to expect, because this is one of the most poorly recorded shows I’ve ever come across, with a match missing, a match missing the entire second half and finish, and some that just randomly cut from the midway part of a match to the finish. This was a show I stumbled across by chance and never saw it listed from my usual sources of available fan-cams, and decided to dive in blindly. I made that mistake covering a WrestleMania X Revenge Tour card expecting Earthquake vs Yokozuna, and this was even more of a let-down because of a lack of preparation.

Makin’ a Difference Fatu vs. Mr. Bob Backlund:
I have a strong feeling I’m going to need alcoholic consumption to get through this one, if it follows the script of your typical Backlund house show match of the era. Fatu’s theme music feels like what was left on the cutting room floor for one of those 30-minute D.A.R.E. videos. Other than the 1996 Royal Rumble, I don’t think Backlund wrestled on TV or PPV for the rest of the year. Fatu is just one of the countless lower-mid level guys with a makeover and no chance of upward mobility.

Fatu encourages the crowd to clap their hands and Backlund powders. More stalling, then a handshake offer. They lockup after nearly 3-minutes and Backlund with a snap arm drag, then Fatu with his own. Backlund sells it but gives away that he’s faking. He’s playing chicken-sh*t heel when Fatu turns to face him, like Mario looking at Boo or something. LOUD BORING CHANT. We get a little bit of the most basic stuff out of the playbook of prelim wrestling. Backlund powders AGAIN. Backlund makes the mistake of targeting the head of a Samoan. Fatu no-sells and unloads with forearms and a headbutt. Charge to the corner and Fatu smacks the post. Chicken-Wing is countered and Fatu rolls Backlund up for three at 8:07. Post-match, Backlund attacks and applies the Chicken-Wing after all, leaving Fatu laying. This wasn’t all-time levels of atrocious like other Backlund fan-cam matches (against Man Mountain Rock or Aldo Montoya, to name a few), but it was still a very lazy match, even for a prelim/opener. ½*

Barry Horowitz & Marty Jannetty vs. The Bodydonnas (w/ Sunny):
Jannetty and Horowitz? If only Jannetty would convert, then they could have been the J-… never mind, I don’t need to be canceled for the sake of a stupid joke that 10 people might read. Jannetty is near the bottom of the babyface depth chart, with guys like Horowitz (or Aldo Montoya) being at the absolute bottom (Horowitz winning matches was already a thing of the past at this point). Skip and Sunny just did a short TV angle where they had Rad Radford (Louie Spicolli) audition as a Bodydonna, but ultimately failed (and eventually got fired for serious personal problems).

Sunny and Skip come out first before introducing the newest member of the Bodydonnas, ZIP. Then one smart-a$$ fan clearly shouts “Yeah! Tom Prichard!” Dammit, just enjoy the show! Having Prichard cut off his gorgeous hair for the sake of being Chris Candido’s doppelganger must have been a big laugh for some people. Marty and Zip start, keeping it simple with some arm drags and a good old fashioned international. Skip tags in and immediately starts showboating, allowing Horowitz to tag in and work him over. Skip cuts him off but immediately runs into a forearm and a rolling school-boy gets a two-count. Horowitz counters a suplex with a Northern Lights bridge for two. Marty gets to run wild a bit before Zip cuts him off with a bulldog. Standard heel work, tricking Horowitz into the ring for an illegal switch and double team. Marty and Skip have an overcomplicated looking sequence that ends with a powerbomb countered with a sunset flip. ROCKER DROPPER OUT OF NOWHERE but Zip cuts off the tag. The camera holder seems more interested in centering the view of the camera on Sunny. The Rocket Launcher misses, allowing Horowitz the hot tag. Heck breaks loose quickly, with Barry and Marty in control. Sunny pulls the ropes down on Marty, and Zip catches Horowitz with a gut-wrench powerbomb for the three-count at 11:18. Standard prelim tag team work with a few decent spots, but I feel we would have gotten more out of split singles matches instead of these four crammed into a tag match. **½

Jerry “The King” Lawler and Isaac Yankem DDS come out to taunt the crowd about their upcoming CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH. Oh man, we were robbed of a Lawler/Yankem reign as Tag Team Champions!

Henry O. Godwinn vs. Rad Radford:
(checks the date of the show) Wait, Louie Spicolli was still around at this point? A quick research shows that he worked his las date just two days later (information, as usual for my WWF data, courtesy of TheHistoryofWWE.com). I briefly mentioned him in the previous match, but Radford’s only TV angle was the Bodydonna in Training bit with Skip and Sunny, and was released after being hospitalized from a Soma overdose. Despite being only 24 at the time, Spicolli was a well-known enhancement talent, regularly used when the WWF taped in California dating back to the Summer of ‘88 when he was only 17. Unfortunately, his personal demons would linger, and he passed away in early 1998, days after his 27th birthday. Henry O. Godwinn (HOG) turned babyface towards the end of the Summer, and was quickly paired with aristocrat Hunter Hearst Helmsley for the obvious reasons. I genuinely can’t remember a time when babyface Godwinn didn’t use Don’t Go Messing with a Country Boy.

In an observation only I would care to note, Henry isn’t wearing the shirt under his coveralls, and Radford is working without a shirt or singlet, which goes against how I imagine these two would look under normal circumstances. Basic start to the match, with an international and the exchanging of simple holds. Radford with a takeover out of the corner, followed by a rolling snap mare for two. The camera operator peaks up at the big screens above the ring, and someone is ringside filming the show. WWE VAULT WITH MORE CONTENT! HOG with a sunset flip, yanking the tights to complete the move, and giving us a glimpse of Radford’s buttocks. Did HENRY GODWINN need that much help for leverage on a guy so much smaller than he is? This match is a lot of nothing. They stumble around a sloppy leap frog in the corner, with Godwinn getting things back on track… and suddenly we cut ahead to the finish, with Henry hitting the Slop Drop for three at 5:48 shown. Post-match, Radford has the slop dumped on his head. Unfair to give a rating since I don’t know how it all plays out, but from the looks of things, it was in the territory of 1 star.

Bob “Spark Plugg” Holly vs. Goldust:
Poor Holly has zero momentum at this point. He’s basically the mid 90’s version of a Scott Casey or Jose Luis Rivera. He’s here to put over the next big pet project. Goldust made his in-ring debut at the infamous In Your House from Winnipeg, having an atrocious match with Marty Jannetty. He would follow that with a dull as dishwater match with Bam Bam Bigelow at Survivor Series. Now he’s penciled in for an Intercontinental Championship Match against Razor Ramon at the Rumble, and has been making questionable advances towards the Bad Guy that would definitely not fly as heel heat in the modern era.

Goldust still has the Version 1.0 of his entrance music, with the same 20-25 seconds on a constant loop and no bridge. Either the camera operator or his buddy isn’t impressed with Goldust, repeatedly going “EW” and hate watching everything. Goldust with some taunting, but a little more toned down from what we would see in coming weeks. Holly gets the better of an exchange and gets slapped before Goldust powders. Back inside, Holly returns the favor, smacking Goldust on the rear and knocking him out of the ring. He chases Goldust back in the ring and smacks him again. Goldust counters a whip, sending Holly to the corner, and laying him out with a clothesline. More theatrics between moves. Goldust with a diving clothesline and his signature bulldog for two. Holly fights out of a chin-lock and hits a cross body for two. Goldust with a sleeper, but Holly counters. He nails Goldust with an inverted atomic drop and clotheslines, followed by the Jim Brunzell Tribute Spot for a two-count. Whip and power slam for two. Goldust avoids a flying body press and the Curtain Call finishes at 8:43. This was fine, mostly thanks to a hot sequence near the end from Holly. Goldust was doing more than usual out there, which isn’t saying too much since it was still relying heavily on theatrics and shtick. **

Unfortunately, we’re missing the match between Savio Vega and Hunter Hearst Helmsley, only getting the closing moments where Helmsley is disqualified for lashing Vega with a belt. As much as you might laugh at the disappointment at not seeing the match, Vega was a reliable hand (at least as a babyface) and they’ve had matches on other shows that I found enjoyable.

Diesel & Razor Ramon vs. Sycho Sid (w/ Ted Dibiase) & “Double J” Jeff Jarrett:
Wow, this feels like a Main Event from the Spring of 1995, and would make more sense if that was when this show took place, but by this point, almost all of these people have moved on to other rivalries. As we’ve mentioned earlier, Razor was in a dedicated program with Goldust, though lingering issues with Sid and The Kid at least makes a little sense, but Jarrett just came back for an insta-feud with Ahmed Johnson, and Diesel is in limbo as we anticipate him going full-blown heel after losing his cool at Survivor Series and start playing the shades of grey routine. Looks like Double J is subbing for The 1-2-3 Kid, which would have made more sense.

Diesel and Double J start… but Diesel wants Sid! NO! PLEASE GOD, NO. Sid tags in and messes around before asking for a test-of-strength. We don’t get it, but Sid keeps loosening up like he’s warming up in the on deck circle. Still no action. Jarrett tags in again and FINALLY Diesel unloads on him with elbows and knees. Sid with a distraction, allowing Double J to get control of the action for about 10-seconds. Razor in with some right hands, but Sid again makes a difference from the apron, allowing Jarrett to hit a swinging neck breaker for two. I look forward to Razor selling for 10 minutes… but then the match cuts off, and we don’t see a finish. Wow, I really need to watch shows all the way through before dedicating my free time to them. The 5 minutes we got was lazy and I doubt it was getting much better. The good news is the rest of the show is intact. For those wondering, Razor pinned Sid with a roll-up.

WWF Tag Team Championship Match:
The Smoking Gunns (c) vs. Jerry “The King” Lawler & Isaac Yankem D.D.S.:
At least I have this oddity to cheer me up from the disappointment of incomplete matches. This is as random as you’re getting, because as far as TV goes, Lawler and Yankem were not a dedicated tag team, and never interacted with the Smoking Gunns. The Gunns have held the titles since the Raw after In Your House 3 (home of one of the lamest bait-and-switches AND Dusty finishes of the mid 90’s) and have done very little as Champions. They’ve defended the belts against Razor and The 1-2-3 Kid a couple of times, but that was more to advance Razor and Kid’s split than anything to do with them.

The Gunns wear Burger King crowns to the ring to draw the ire of Lawler. It’s cheap, but it works. Good for them. With cameras at ringside, maybe we’ll see a title change! Bart and Yankem start, and it’s several minutes of standing around before we get any action. Yankem with clubbing blows, but he misses a charge and Bart hits a twisting body press for two. Lawler in, and he’s immediately heckled with chants of “Burger King.” The challengers tease taking a walk, but reconsider, with Lawler chastising the crowd on the house mic. We get more shtick from Lawler, followed by heel miscommunication. Lawler pops Billy with the invisible foreign object to finally swing the tide. Billy takes a beating for a while, with Lawler and Yankem getting near-falls. Bart keeps taking the bait, allowing for more double-team work. Billy counters a running bulldog, sending Lawler across the ring. Bart with the hot tag, running wild with left hands. He corners Yankem, and then suddenly Lawler sneaks in to hit the incapacitated Billy with a piledriver, and covers for three at 14:50! WE HAVE NEW CHAMPIONS!

BUT WAIT! A second referee comes out to explain how incompetent that ruling is, since it was clear that neither Lawer or the man he covered were legal, and it’s not like he took his eyes off of the action or got knocked silly. The Fink gets on the mic to inform us that Gorilla Monsoon is in the building and blah blah blah restarts the match. I’ve seen stuff like this done a ton, and this is the worst execution of it I’ve ever seen. Anyway, we start with BILLY AND LAWLER as the legal men, because why not. We do the hot tag sequence again, Yankem gets knocked out with a double dropkick, and Lawler is finished with the combo back suplex and neck breaker at 18:30. What a weird match. It was going fine with Lawler’s shtick carrying the bulk of the heat segment, but the false finish and restart were done so poorly, from the finish itself to how it was announced to the live crowd. Maybe Lawler and Yankem having a cup of coffee with the belts wouldn’t have been a bad idea, since the division was on life support in 1996 to begin with. **

Ahmed Johnson vs. The British Bulldog:
This show is loaded considering how small the roster was at the time, but I guess I need to remind myself that business was getting so bad, that B Tours were being reduced, so we’ve got to fit everyone we can, even if they aren’t paired up on television. As mentioned earlier, Ahmed was feuding with Jeff Jarrett based off an insta-feud segment at the more recent In Your House. Bulldog on the other hand is not married to anyone, having failed to capture the WWF Championship from his brother-in-law.

Before the match, Bulldog grabs the house mic and says if Ahmed is really the strongest man in the WWF, he will accept the challenge for an arm wrestling contest. Ahmed responds, saying he couldn’t understand Bulldog’s gibberish… man, the irony there is delicious. I’d give the entire segment 5-stars just for that. Bulldog accuses Ahmed for being chicken as he takes a walk, only to return with a table. The Fink is kind enough to slide a couple of chairs into the ring, and wouldn’t you know it, the table breaks as it’s tossed into the ring. If you’re unfamiliar with the formula, Bulldog pulls away from locking up, then gets mad at Ahmed for doing it to him. They go back-and-forth, Ahmed is about to win, and Bulldog slams Ahmed’s face into the table when he’s on the verge of losing. Bulldog dumps the table on top of Ahmed and THE BELL RINGS TO START THE MATCH. As the ref removes the table, Ahmed hits Bulldog with the spine-buster. Pearl River Plunge connects and Bulldog kicks out at two! Why? ‘Cause Double J didn’t make it to the ring in time, attacking Ahmed roughly 2-seconds later for the lame Disqualification at 0:50. Ahmed fights Jarrett off, and this turns out to be a waste of time. Do you love arm-wrestling contests? Then this was YOUR “match”, I suppose. No rating, but I didn’t enjoy it.

Bret “Hitman” Hart & The Undertaker (w/ Paul Bearer) vs. Owen Hart & Yokozuna:
The final match of the night, and probably the true Main Event, since Bret is the reigning WWF Champion and he’s teaming with his scheduled opponent for the Royal Rumble. CAN THEY CO-EXIST?! Owen and Yoko reigned for most of the Spring and Summer of ‘95 as Tag Team Champions, but the team is losing steam in a hurry, and neither man is anywhere close to the credibility they had the last time we were running houses with Bret vs Owen and Taker vs Yokozuna. Oh, and Undertaker is still wearing the Phantom of the Dark Side mask.

Taker surprisingly starts for his team while Yoko and Owen play chicken on the floor. Is Earl Hebner going to bother counting them out, since the bell rang and they’re BOTH on the floor? He’s literally the worst referee. Tell me you’re taking the night off without telling me. Bret comes in and Owen is more than happy to get in the ring now. Bret grabs a side headlock and comes off the ropes with a shoulder block. He catches Owen in a leap frog with an inverted atomic drop and bounces off the ropes with a clothesline. Owen cuts him off and pounds away in the corner, but Bret fights out and hits a Russian leg sweep. Taker in and Owen runs for his life, tagging in a reluctant Yoko. Taker gives chase, and watching Yoko “run” is a sad thing to see. He tries to get the jump on Taker in the ring, but Taker no-sells and counters a back body-drop with the DDT. Taker with the rope-walk clothesline, and Yoko immediately cuts him off with a Samoan drop. Taker no-sells that and knocks Yoko down with a flurry of strikes. Bret attempts the Sharpshooter, but Owen saves. Don’t worry, I don’t think he was getting Yoko up in that hold in 1996.

Bret and Owen trade blows, Yoko with a shot from the apron, and Owen with the enzuigiri, finally swinging momentum in their favor… and Yoko tags in to rest with a nerve hold. Jeez… Isn’t Yoko’s job to stand on the apron and do some big man stuff for 60 seconds before going back to his corner and sucking the air away from the first five rows? Bret with a comeback, but Owen goes to the eyes to cut him off and follows with a neck breaker for a near-fall. The flying nothing meets a boot, allowing Bret to get to his corner and give Taker the hot tag. He runs wild on Yoko with the usual strikes and comes off the ropes with a diving lariat. Owen wants nothing to do with Taker, but he’s brought in from the apron with the Chokeslam, and the Tombstone finishes at 10:55. We got a few minutes of Bret and Owen having a good time, and there were a few decent spots peppered in to make up for the ridiculous amount of stalling at the start. Still not a match that stands out as anything close to extraordinary, but I’ll take 7 minutes of good action wherever I can get it. **¾

Strength of Card: Most of the WWF’s heavy-hitters were in attendance for this show, but the card itself is a weird mix of tag matches because the heel side is incredibly weak on legitimate main eventers. Owen and Yokozuna were trending downward from being TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, Sid was ice cold and stuck in a mid-card tag act with the 1-2-3 Kid, and that’s… pretty much it. It would have been nice to see the WWF Championship and Intercontinental Titles defended, but with balance issues, I see why we got this card. Grade: B+

Highs: I didn’t find any of the matches particularly good, just a handful of mid-level quality, but you could tell people like Jerry Lawler, Owen Hart, and trailing behind them, Bret, were having fun out there. I have a sneaky suspicion that the best match on the card was left on the cutting room floor (and yes, I am saying Savio vs Hunter is that match. Believe me, they had it in them).

Lows: Can I put the poor battery management on the list? No? OK… Well, we’ve got no-effort babyface Razor Ramon out there, no effort Mr. Backlund out there, and that finish for the Smoking Gunns vs Lawler and Yankem was HORRENDOUS. I’ve never seen a Dusty Finish executed so poorly and restarted via kayfabe President proclamation, but here we are, talking about it now. Bulldog vs Ahmed was a complete waste of time.

The Rest: Goldust vs Holly wasn’t bad, Marty and Barry vs. The Bodydonnas wasn’t bad, the Main Event wasn’t bad, but nothing felt like it was hitting that next gear. Just a bunch of OK matches from guys who had the ability to put in much more effort.

Final Thoughts: The WWF around this time has a reputation that outside the handful of usual suspects, you weren’t going to find much to enjoy, and yeah, that theory plays out perfectly here. So many guys are coasting throughout the night. It’s not like the WWF was running a ridiculous house show schedule at this point, only holding something like 7 or 8 shows in the month of January before the Royal Rumble PPV on the 18th. The company was desperately in need of a roster shake-up, let alone ditching the stupid gimmicks, and it was going to get worse before it gets better. Final Grade: C-