Joshi Spotlight: Neo Ladies (October 1999)

NEO LADIES (Oct. 22d 1999):
* So it’s time to finish up Neo Ladies for the year! This features a pair of “Neo Japan Cup” matches between their lesser wrestlers, a Takako Inoue vs. Yoshiko Tamura midcard match, then Chaparrita ASARI challenges for the WWWA Super Lightweight Title against Zenjo’s Momoe Nakanishi, and Yumiko Hotta tries to regain her WWWA World Title against Kyoko Inoue to get even for the cheating in the match where Kyoko won it! This is from Hakata Starlanes with a listed crowd of over 1,200… which is one of the most bullshit statements ever. This looks like a depressingly tiny, dark hall, and you can see a SEA of empty chairs- there is maybe 600 people here, tops. Man, an interpromotional match for Zenjo’s top belt can’t draw more than that?

NEO JAPAN CUP ’99:
TANNY MOUSE vs. YUKA NAKAMURA:
* …. who? Okay, Yuka debuted the year before in Neo so I shouldn’t actually know her yet. She wrestles until 2006! Not bad! She looks like a nervous kid in a red outfit with a skirt on it, and is a Kyoko/Neo trainee from 1998, and is up against Tanny, who has filled out a lot and is in a less comedic outfit (black with yellow tassels).

Yuka uses Jobber-Fu with a bunch of short dropkicks (you can hear the GAEA students seethe from miles away at how soft these are), but Tanny unleashes the TANNY BUTT (running headbutt), thankfully actually making it look legit now. Nakamura fights out of some stretching but misses a cross-body and ends up wiped out by the goofy running Tanny Butts, but dodges the second-rope one. Tanny manages to catch a lariat with a jujigatame attempt, causing Yuka to sell the arm a bunch, but the kid manages to hit some missile dropkicks before landing on Tanny’s knees trying a flying splash. But she quickly comes back with rollups until Tanny finally manages to weather them and do a headbutt into a rolling armbar submission at (6:02 of 8:49 shown).

Pretty much your everyday “midcarder beating a rookie” match, giving the kid a bunch, but mostly dropkicks and rollups (the typical jobber offense), Yuka trying to sell until she’s caught. Tanny was never really any good, but can at least pull this off. Yuka seemed fine for a first-year- very hesitant and delayed with stuff, which can’t have been easy to work with, and her moves didn’t have much force, but she at least wasn’t botching.

Rating: * (pretty typical of a Zenjo first-year, which is at least a good sign for their training)

NEO JAPAN CUP ’99:
MISAE GENKI vs. SAYA ENDO:
* Been a while since I’ve seen Endo! I wonder if she still sucks! She’s in black, going up against the increasingly-pushed Genki, who’s in tokusatsu monster-fighting gear and a cape & shit, so you know she’s getting pushed.

We’re clipped to Endo getting a figure-four, then tossing chairs at Genki, who brawls back but her chokeslam on the floor is countered to a shitty German onto some of the chairs. Genki sells that for a while and Endo finally hits a cross-armed fisherman’s suplex for two. ah, we’ve entered the “Crossing the arms makes it hurt more” era of wrestling, now? Guillotine legdrop gets two, so she tries a somersault version and badly misses, getting chokeslammed, then again but off the second rope for two. Endo keeps countering her attempts to finish, then hits some “dragon suplexes” that enrage me with their execution (WHAT IS THAT GRIP?), a holding one getting two. Endo bonks her with a chair, but herself gets bonked when she climbs the ropes, but counters the G-Driver on a chair to a “facecrusher”. Then they do a REF BUMP so when Genki hits her G-Driver, there’s no count. So Genki powers up and hits a second one… but Endo starts biting her arm and turns it around after the landing- Genki just hits some chokeslams, but gets rolled up for a close two, then hits another G-Driver… just as Time Expires at (7:27 of 30:00 shown). THIRTY MINUTES?!?!?!

Oh man Saya Endo’s execution is like… a negative universe Bret Hart’s. Just LOOSE and sloppy grips and everything. It offends me. Monsoon would be all over this shit and burying her on commentary. However, once I got to the finish I checked Cagematch and found out this was clipped from thirty minutes, which explains most of that, lol. I mean obviously they weren’t in any kind of shape to be going 30 minutes. The match construction came off a bit odd, largely because the ref bump into two finishers still wasn’t the end, then we got a close rollup and a “too late” finisher. It’s sad because Zenjo had some of the best time-limit draws I’ve ever seen, with the wrestlers selling the ending with sheer mania, desperately attempting to pin the other.

Rating: * (to be fair this is 7 minutes of THIRTY, but it was pretty sloppily-wrestled, particularly by Endo, and the finish wasn’t great)

TAKAKO INOUE (AJW) vs. YOSHIKO TAMURA (Neo):
* It’s an interpromotional match between Zenjo’s reliable upper-midcarder and one of Neo’s “rising stars” (well, as much as they have them), so this might actually be interesting. Takako’s in pink and waves around her shockstick, while Tamura (in white & black frilly gear like idols wear) looks decidedly unimpressed and disses the pre-match handshake, so it’s on.

Takako jumps her for the disrespect, and they have a match so by-the-numbers they each do the “throw them into a sea of empty chairs” crowd-brawl spot, then Takako no-sells a chair toss by backdrop suplexing Yoshiko on the floor. Clipped to Yoshiko hitting an ace crusher to come back, but Takako no-sells and hits a DDT, but Yoshiko no-sells and hits another crusher (called a “Diamond Cutter” on commentary this time), then Takako hits another DDT as that’s finally sold as the pace is still very slow and casual. Yoshiko tries sleepers to wear Takako down. A facelock goes nowhere and now Takako goes SUPER-STRIKER to come back, hitting a plethora of running boots. A Boston crab DECIDEDLY doesn’t excite the crowd, but Yoshiko hits some missile dropkicks. Takako uses a spinkick for two, but the Destiny Hammer (flying knee) misses and she’s rolled up, then Yoshiko ducks a backfist for her Northern Lights Suplex for two. A weird, ultra-shitty double-wrist backdrop suplex hold gets two, but now Takako surprises her with more SUPER-STRIKING, as she hits a sneak backfist into the Destiny Hammer, into a straight “MMA punch” for two. Destiny Hammer #2 finishes at (8:58 of 13:43 shown) for the Takako win. Yeah, that wasn’t very interesting at all.

Man, this was SLACK. this was “meh- it’s a midcard match. Try a bit but don’t kill yourselves out there” personified because they just did twin “throw them into some chairs and toss one softly”, then traded weak stuff, then did half-hearted submissions and just kept the pace so slow the whole thing, so that even when it was time to trade finisher attempts the crowd was like “yeah, whatever” and responding to the effort in kind. This leads to an anemic fall where Takako’s very unconvincing striking leads to the win. Sadly, Takako’s injuries may be the most disappointing of all the “debuted in the ’80s” people- she used to be great for awesomely-fun midcard stuff and she had a lot of good offense- now most everything is badly-done striking.

Rating: ** (just a very dull “house show”-style match with a slack pace and little effort)

WWWA SUPER LIGHTWEIGHT TITLE:
MOMOE NAKANISHI (AJW) vs. CHAPARRITA ASARI (Freelance):
* So ASARI was injured for a long while, then came back and suddenly her 3WA Super Lightweight Title was un-retired and was a thing again, but she lost it in the summer for the purposes of a rematch. Hey, it no longer looks like a piece of 1950s furniture! Funny to see two non-Neo wrestlers fighting for the belt on a Neo show, but this ASARI was in the inaugural Neo roster. Both are wearing white, light blue & aqua colors, making them look like a tag team.

Momoe gets a surprise German to start, then runs around like nuts for missile dropkicks to immediately let the fans know this match has EFFORT in it. She throws ASARI in the damn Liontamer for a bit until settling down, then ASARI uses speed to hit a Manami Roll slam and cartwheel handspring mule kick, then settles for basic stretching. But Momoe just goes apeshit again, going from a lightning-fast rollup into slapping, screaming, grinding, and some disrespectful stretching with actual CHARACTER behind it. As last time, the quickening pace sees ASARI counter a whip and take the lead with some slower stretching, but Momoe hits a run-up moonsault on her. She misses a flying splash and eats a Northern Lights suplex, does a big evasive flip, but ASARI hits an impressive rana- NICE flip bump by Momoe. Momoe tries the moonsault again, but ASARI out-flips her and ranas her out of the corner- I like how every time they play HER game, she starts winning. They fight up top and ASARI takes a rough landing on the apron & Momoe planchas her, but ASARI soon dumps her and hits the same move. Momoe backflip-rolls off a missile kick, but dropkicks ASARI out of mid-air, hits a moonsault to the floor, and waits her out in the ring. Back in, ASARI keeps countering her and gets a German, but Momoe shows her up with an even BETTER one, then they trade pins until ASARI catches her up top with a Super Frankensteiner for a close two. She tries another thing, but Momoe bolts her into a Dragon Suplex for two, then counters a pin to another one, but ASARI is able to flash up and hit a Michinoku Driver for three at (13:55), regaining her title!

Very good match! It actually reminds me of 1992-94 Zenjo with the match construction- the “hot start, then stretching, then counter-stretching, then rapid pace-increases as they try bigger moves, then the the finish” cadence was all there. It was even 13+ minutes, like all those bouts used to be! While ASARI’s dives and moves look great (she’s definitely improved a lot since she got hurt), it was Momoe who was most outstanding. She had tons of speed to start, her stretching had loads of character (constant slaps, grinding, taunts, etc.- the kind of stuff to make that more than just “filler”), then when it was ASARI’s turn Momoe’s the one doing rapid-fire backflip-rolls whenever she’s hit by a big strike, making everything look good. I was even wowed by ASARI’s rana and was thinking it reflected well on her until I was like “oh yeah, the person TAKING the move is the important one” and sure enough, double-checking saw Momoe “get caught”, then rapidly flip forwards until she beat ASARI to the landing. The match kept things hot till the ending by doing a lot of last-minute kickouts, Momoe repeatedly going to the Dragon Suplex (always a reliable “nearfall” weapon) until ASARI suddenly springs out another thing. Honestly the only thing holding it back is a lack of selling- ASARI did pretty well with “selling” exhaustion, being flustered, etc., but Momoe tends to just spring up and act like she’s fine after every move, like she has a permanent case of the zoomies- good as her bumping is, that’s a drawback.

Rating: ***1/2 (one of ASARI’s better singles matches in ages thanks to Momoe’s crazy bumping and manic pace)

WWWA WORLD TITLE:
KYOKO INOUE (Neo) vs. YUMIKO HOTTA (AJW):
* So Kyoko Inoue, booker/top star of Neo, defeated Hotta to win back the Red Belt months ago in a HORRIBLE match with a ring that’d been destroyed by the rain, marred further by a disastrous botched spot where Takako “shocked” Hotta but missed, Hotta selling it anyways. Since Kyoko wasn’t responsible for the cheating, she was KINDA blame-free, but it was still a weak victory. And so we have the rematch! Kyoko’s in pink & yellow, Hotta’s in black & silver. Hotta looks casual while Kyoko looks… depressed, lol. And HUGE- this was apparently during her run in FMW wrestling men, and she gained weight to make it fit better.

They do the dramatic lockup to no result, then some no-sold shoulderblock stuff until Kyoko responds to kicks by clobbering Hotta & hitting a DDT. Hotta counters to mat-control and a failed jujigatame attempt, and once they stand up again it’s Kyoko’s turn. So far it’s fine- ain’t nothing happening but they’re establishing parity and such and you expect title matches to go long. Kyoko can’t get the Dancing Deathlock yet but… okay now a DDT turns into more chinlockery and it’s getting too long. After like six minutes of bullshit, Kyoko hits her Mongolian chops and Hotta rolling kicks her to move to the next stage. They eat try stuff but counter bigger moves until Hotta counters a lariat to an armbar and beats her up outside the ring, hitting a DDT and some more lazy-ass shit, like casually rolling each other around. Guys this isn’t ACTUALLY a house show! Hotta keeps doing sloppy rolling kicks (just doing a lazy roll onto her butt while her leg is kinda stretched out), but Kyoko finally does something cool in the ring with her short lariat when Hotta tries to pick her up, then Hotta lazily leans against the ropes to eat the running lariats. Then… dumps her. AGAIN?

So Hotta slides into some chairs a few times, but in the ring she SMOKES Kyoko in the head when she climbs up. Neither can get anything going until Kyoko tries her Run-Up Elbow, but they horribly butcher a “jujigatame off the top” spot (Hotta doesn’t have a grip and just careens down and Kyoko has to leap after her). Hotta tries to save it with a juji attempt but it’s dead, Jim. Kyoko fires back with a lariat & Niagara Driver, but Hotta kicks out at one. You know they’ve been slack-assing it when 15 minutes have elapsed and Kyoko’s facepaint still looks like she just put it on. Hotta gets up fine and hits a Ligerbomb, so KYOKO kicks out at one, and both are doing the “we’re dying and barely fighting up” thing, Kyoko clobbering Hotta for a double-down. Kyoko with the Lariat, but Hotta meets the next with a rolling kick and immediately hits a Pyramid Driver for two. Then it’s a HORRIFYINGLY vertical Ligerbomb for two (her shoulder is nowhere near the mat). Kyoko snaps off a German & Niagara Drives her for two. Lariat/Powerbomb gets two. She goes for the Victoria Driver (flat-back inverted DVD) but Hotta just springs out of it, ducks a lariat, and piefaces her for the three at (18:07)- ah, the infamous SHOTEI palm strike. The crowd does the “random yelling” response as Hotta wins back the WWWA World Title.

Just… dreadful. Like the first 4-5 minutes were the okay way to start an 18-minute epic, but then they just added four minutes to that, started fucking around outside the ring aimlessly, then finally start the “trying for serious” stuff in the ring, but were now kinda clunky and not hitting things right. Hotta had a lot of loose, sloppy rolling kicks, butchered that flying juji move, and more, while Kyoko just did random lariat comebacks instead of even using her old “I’m dying I’m dying but I need to DIG DOWN DEEP to throw out a big counter!” sell and instead just kinda bolted out with moves outta nowhere. They both do big “Kick out at ONE!” spots to annoy me, especially since the person still acts all messed up by the move and it doesn’t really lead to much. And because the rest of the match was so slow, the final “everyone hits powerbombs to try and get that one last pin” thing doesn’t really get over as well. Never mind that neither ever wins with their powerbomb finishers anymore. I mean, their last Title match had an excuse for sucking- the ring was unfixable and they were left with few options- but this was their chance to make up for it and not have a botched finish, too, and instead they just kinda went out and did a basic-ass house show match for 15 minutes, then did 3 minutes of big powerbombs. And like… to complete the story, why not bring Takako out and have someone (like Manami Toyota, who was enraged at the cheating last time) stop her?

Rating: *1/2 (lazy, slow, sloppy and weak until they started hitting big stuff, and then THAT stuff was loose, sloppy and even botchy, and then the finish is a pieface out of nowhere)

So uh… that was a Neo Ladies show! Lots of unready mediocre wrestlers having mediocre matches, then a lazy interpromotional bout, then a REALLY hard-worked match between people wanting to show off their stuff, and then one of the weakest Red Belt matches ever. I gotta wonder if they just saw the 1/3 full house and decided to go into “House Show Mode” for the whole thing, with only Momoe lighting a fire under her ass.