GLEAT Ver. MEGA October 6th 2024

So we’re back with GLEAT. I swore I wasn’t going to try another show, but this card was just so nuts I had to give it a shot. We have TNA’s Rascalz here, we have Kota Ibushi, we have Parker Boudreaux, we have so many weird names on this card you can’t even believe it and I have to review it for you guys. So it’s 1000+ in Osaka for this one, but obviously who knows with GLEAT what the real numbers are or who paid for what. So this is supposed to be a big crossover show where GLEAT talent have ‘MMA’ exhibition matches with real MMA guys, I assume it’s all going to be worked. Anyway if you want to watch this utter madness, here is the link.

Issei Onitsuka, JD Lee, Jessy Queen & Junjie vs. BULK Orchestra (KAZMA SAKAMOTO & Quiet Storm) & BBB (Mirko Mori & Nico Inverardi)

Background: So Issei Onitsuka is a generic looking guy with short hair that’s a member of Yan’s Family, which I think is a pro wrestling cooking stable. JD Lee is Korean, has short bleached hair and is pretty small. Jessy Queen has a bird costume on and is apparently representing AAA here as a Mexican talent. Junjie is from Shanghai and while I swear they used to have a spear and wear facepaint, they just have tights and longish hair here. The other side are BULK Orchestra which is a stable of meaty fellows, KAZMA is Japanese and was in WWE as Lord Tensai’s goon back in the day, he has a flag and a mask and a half-shaved head. Quiet Storm is an American with long blondish hair and a beefy physique with red shorts. BBB are an Italian tag-team and it stands for Brixia Bone Breakers, Nico has shortish black hair and tattoos, Mirko has a shaved head, a beard, and tattoos.

The Match: Jessy and Storm start and I think Jessy is an Exotico. Queen does some flirting with Quiet who uh…doesn’t appreciate that. So they chop each other instead and fight over a German suplex, which is like flirting. Storm goes for a kiss and they tag out to Junjie and also the Italians head in with some quick doubles and some neat double-team dropkicks and highfalutin maneuvers. Junjie appears to be our face in peril as BULK ORCHESTRA isolate him and we get a Quiet Storm spinebuster and more chops…but Junjie gets a backdrop driver and we get Jessy and KAZMA in. Jessy takes control with armdrags and some twerking and then gets a ropewalk shimmy to set up an armdrag and in comes JD with a spinning reverse crossbody out of the corner on Quiet Storm (when did he tag in) but Face miscommunication sets up a kiss on JD as Quiet Storm ducks it, but Jessy gets a superkick anyway to put Storm outside and then a tope follows. And now we get BBB vs. Junjie and Issei with the Italians taking over with their double-teams and tag-team know-how and then they get a double tope. And then we get KAZMA and JD in the ring by themselves and KAZMA just bounces the much smaller guy around, getting a jump kick, blocking a rana with a powerbomb, and then a double-underhook piledriver gets 3.

**¼

Weirdly quick finish but a decent opening match. Not sure how I feel about the exotico stuff in this context with everybody retching and acting disgusted by it but it was high energy. There’s a chance BBB become something as a team however, not great looks but good chemistry, very MCMG-esque. Not sure why JD basically got to show nothing and Issei did jack squat either.

Black Generation International (Kotaro Suzuki & So Daimonji) vs. Anti-GLE MONSTERS (Brass Knuckle JUN & Ryuichi Kawakami)

Background: So BGI, last I checked, are evil dirty cheating heel jerks, they dress like a combination of evil Power Rangers and Gundam villains, which figures cause Kotaro is a giant weeb. Suzuki is pale, has short blonde hair and knows a million moves. So is taller with long black hair and some beef on him. The Anti-GLE MONSTERS I know nothing about but given their name and the music I gather they’re some sort of anti-company heel group. Brass Knuckle JUN has a mohawk and faux-leather gear, Ryuichi I’ve seen before and wasn’t impressed by, but now he has black pants, short hair, and a spraypainted chair.

The Match: Hot start as Brass Knuckle ambushes BGI to start and the MONSTERS drag them out to the crowd and beat on them there. This is the slowest crowd brawl I’ve ever seen, but I think Kawakami has a busted back so he’s doing what he can. The match starts I guess with just blatant double teaming from the MONSTERS and Ryuichi draws on Kotaro’s face (???). We get rope choking and then Brass Knuckle is in to do some basic kick punchy and some eye rakey. Ryuichi back in with a flying shoulder and after some struggle Kotaro finally gets a DDT and in comes So with a diving clothesline and then some chops and a flying chops/punch thing. JUN tries to break it up but So gets some running splashes and a Samoan drop/blockbuster slam combo. So sets up a splash mountain on Ryuichi but he slips out and the MONSTERS double So on the ropes, but Brass Knuckle tries to go it alone and So lariats his head off. Kotaro in and he just goes at Jun in the corner until Kawakami breaks it up and then we get some eyerakes on Suzuki again and he’s bleeding from the mouth. Kawakami distracts the ref and Brass Knuckle grabs the…brass knuckles and goes for the KO…but Suzuki blocks it with his own strike and gets an armbreaker to knock the knucks flying. Corner knee from Suzuki! Spinebuster from So! Sloppy Mass Driver from Suzuki! Kawakami breaks it up and So tosses him. Kotaro gets Blue Destiny but can’t get the pin as Ryuichi goes at the ref. Kotaro sets up the Tiger Driver but Ryuichi gets everybody with a chair and hands Brass Knuckle JUN the brass knuckles and JUN takes out Kotaro and that’s 3 as the ref recovers.

*½

Look I like dirty cheating, but these heels are NO good and So is still clearly green. So you have a broken down Kotaro trying to keep stuff together as these stiffs just do basic heeling and Ryuichi looks like he’s going to pass out. So I think has the bones of something as he has good size and some presence. Also unsure why BGI are faces now.

T-Hawk vs. Takehiro Yamamura

Background: So T-Hawk was part of that weird CIMA splinter promotion and has had the most success of that generation of guys, he’s got short hair and a good build and does a lot of stuff while wearing black tights. Takehiro is an ex-DG guy and is smaller and in good shape and is wearing white and orange tights and is pretty tanned.

The Match: Hawk gets a shoulder block to knock down Takehiro. Yamamura gets a flying forearm to knock down Hawk who doesn’t really sell it. Hawk and Take trade chops until Yamamura knocks Hawk outside for a somersault plancha and then goes back in for a senton bomb but it misses and Hawk chops Take off the top rope to follow up. On the outside, Hawk heels it up by bouncing his smaller opponent off the apron. More chops and slaps and Hawk wins that exchange and goes back in for a 2 count while Hawk is really playing up the serious stuff by being slow and serious while staring intensely at stuff. Hawk keeps up the domination with chops but eventually Takehiro gets a springboard dropkick and the crowd is hot at least. Take gets a float-over gamengiri, Hawk gets a half-nelson slam, they both trade stuff and dodge stuff and Hawk gets chops and Take gets a brainbuster and the whiffs on a spiral tap. Somehow this is only the FIFTH MINUTE here. T-Hawk gets more chops and Takehiro fires up as they slug it out. I am not feeling this but the crowd is hot god bless ‘em. They do a really fast-paced sequence and Hawk eventually counters a roll-up into a cradle for 3.

**½

Not my cup of tea but it was fast and short at least. T-Hawk is more interesting as a heel than a face and Takehiro is…well he doesn’t change my opinions on DG guys.

El Lindaman, Faby Apache & Octagon Jr. vs. Chris Ridgeway, MICHIKO & Sam Adonis

Background: What an insane lineup, okay, so El Lindaman is a core GLEAT guy, he’s a tiny, jacked up dude with buzzed blonde hair and a Hogan level tan, he’s high energy and does suplexes and is probably five foot two and wears white trunks. Faby is a pretty legendary luchadora who had a huge feud in AAA 20ish years ago based around her sleazy husband, Billy Boy, she’s rocking iridescent purple and green in a singlet. They’re with Octagon Jr. who is dressed in pretty traditional lucha gear and has black and red as their colors of choice in an outfit that looks straight out of Mortal Kombat. Their opponents are former NOAH junior, the British technical legend trained by Ogawa…Chris Ridgeway, he looks as if Zack Sabre Jr. did 5 years for armed robbery.. MICHIKO is a very jacked Japanese lady that has been in Sendai and Stardom and is wearing a purple and black outfit. Sam Adonis is an American nicknamed Sexyboy, and if you can believe this, he is Corey Graves’ brother. He’s got an obnoxious blonde undercut and a big grin and white gear. He’s known for some rather controversial ‘heat’ segments in Mexico.

The Match: Faby and MICHIKO start and Sam Adonis does the very annoying “Gaijin who won’t shut up” deal. Anyway the ladies do a quick lucha sequence to a standstill and it’s Lindaman and Chris next. And Ridgeway cranks in a headlock nad they do a shoulder sequence and trade shots as this is very NOAH as they’re unloading potatoes on each other. Chris gets a pin attempt, Lindaman gets a dropkick and a knee into a missed dive and they’re all gas here Linda gets a neckbreaker off the ropes and brings in Octagon and Chris brings in Sam. They both have a dance off and trade shoulders and Sam won’t stop talking. The lucha sequence is sloppy as heck and Sam won’t stop taunting as he runs into a springboard Octagon armdrag and then Lindaman tags in to keep the work on Adonis. Sami finally gets a back elbow and tags in Chris to work over Lindaman with technical stuff. Ridgeway taunts Octagon and then tags in Adonis who basically does nothing before MICHIKO comes in to work Lindaman’s arm for a while before Chris tags back in and works the arm again, and then it’s Adonis back to bluster more but Lindaman reverses a brainbuster and we get the double tag. MICHIKO gets a missile dropkick on Faby who no-sells it, but MICHIKO flips back into the ring and gets a fujiwara ambar and it’s all breaking down. Lindaman clears the ring and Octagon comes in for a corkscrew pescado. Back in and it’s the ladies still and Faby gets a superkick out of the corner and then they counter some stuff until Apache gets the surfboard. Lindaman gets a Fujiwara on Ridgeway and Octagon gets Adonis in the manji-gatame for the photoshoot and then we break and we get in Adonis and Octagon. The Mexican gets a crossbody and then signals for a moonsault but lands on Sam’s boots and then eats a Destroyer. Sam gets a suplex dropped into a Flowsion but it only gets 2 and then everybody comes in and does stuff and the ladies kick each others heads off and it’s back to Octagon and Adonis who gets a slam but whiffs a vader bomb and Octagon gets an OzCutter (sigh) for 3.

**

Just…weird. Not terrible, but not better than just above not terrible. I still like Lindaman alright and Ridgeway is really good, but Octagon can’t do anything that doesn’t involve the ropes and Adonis is a clunky guy who can only do generic and lame heeling. Both the ladies seem at least fine but I’d like to see more. And I do know MICHIKO and I like her.

Daisuke Nakamura vs. Masaki Takeura – TEAM GLEAT vs Tokyo Sabres MMA Rules Exhibition Match #1

Background: So this is where the real madness is starting, I am totally unsure if these are going to be worked or not (I’m guessing worked) but GLEAT does technically have a real MMA arm of its company. Anyway we have Daisuke out and he’s got short bleached hair and some facial hair and is pale and lean but is showing his age a bit in his build. Masaki is shortish with pink hair. Daisuke is in red and black shorts and Masaki is in black and white shorts and a shirt.

The Match: So we have coaches and everything and the refs are actually trying to clean up the ring and they’re…trying to make this appear legit but obviously they’re short on a ton of the resources you’d expect. Show of respect to start and we go to the mat with Masaki in a guard and he eventually goes for a kneebar but Daisuke blocks it and they roll and reverse. Masaki mixes it up and goes for a choke but he still can’t get it. Daisuke ends up in the ropes but Masaki is still teasing a guillotine. That doesn’t go anywhere and Daisuke goes for the back but can’t land anything. Masaki almost takes the back but we reverse into another guard and we have a time limit draw with both of them teasing kneebars.

*

Well uh…I don’t think that’s worked! And if it was, they suck at it. It’s clearly not a full match, but it’s two guys sparring and doing grappling drills on the mat, not going full-effort, but trying to accomplish something. It was mostly quite boring!

Hideki Sekine vs. Kanten Man – TEAM GLEAT vs Tokyo Sabres MMA Rules Exhibition Match #2

Background: So we’re getting more, and this time GLEAT is represented by Hideki “Shrek” Sekine. He’s grotesquely muscled and has a crazy beard and a balding ponytail and he looks like an ogre. Kanten has a mask and seems to be rocking a superhero gimmick with a white bodysuit while Hideki is in a black bodysuit.

The Match: We get some standing stuff and then Hideki takes him down and we get a mount, a reversal, a half-guard and Kanten immediately taps to a kneebar? Wow okay.

**

Well it was quick! Shrek looked dominant! The comedy goof got demolished!

Yu Iizuka vs. Caol Uno – TEAM GLEAT vs Tokyo Sabres MMA Rules Exhibition Match #3

Background: Our third and final exhibition match Yu is young and has floppy hair and is a bit of a pretty boy. Caol has a short goatee and doesn’t look super hyped to be here. Yu is shirtless and has boxing style shorts and Caol has kneepads and a shirt.

The Match: We get some standing stuff with both guys going for takedowns and they get tangled in the ropes a bit with Caol backing him into the corner but there’s no rope breaks in MMA brother! They’ve remained locked up and standing this whole time and uh, if you can’t throw strikes it sure does take away from what MMA is about. Still standing, still in the corner, and Uno backs away and lets Yu out. Caol looks a lot more confident here and seems to be controlling the fight while Iizuka is on his back foot. But I speak too soon as Yu gets a standing mount and some sort of butterfly hold but Caol slips out and goes for something but Yu remains passive and is fighting to not lose. BOOOOO! Caol keeps up and is actually looking to finish while Yu just lays on the mat, they end with Uno going for a keylock but time expires.

**½

Well Caol was at least trying to win a fight. Yu was a dirty coward though.

Overall that uh…I mean it wasn’t good but it was better than I thought? Oh and Team GLEAT wins on the GLEAT show, wow, amazing. Anyway they all hug and shake hands and it’s a lovely display of sportsmanship except for Yu Iizuka that coward.

Minoru Tanaka, Seichi Ikemoto, Takanori Ito & Tsutenkaku vs. Kikutaro, Kota Ibushi, Ryo Aitaka & Yukimitsu Takahashi

Background: Oh boy, so Tanaka is a decent name here, on the older side (he has an adult daughter in Marigold!) but he’s an accomplished junior with tons of technical skill. He’s got longish hair and he kinda looks like Japanese Jon Bon Jovi. Seichi is another established MMA guy (of sorts) and he kinda dresses like he’s going through a midlife crisis, or just a rockstar who can’t quite face the fact that he’s aging. Takanori I’ve seen before and he’s a beefy guy with short dark hair and some amateur skills, with them is Tsutenkaku who is dressed up with a mask and a mane and seems like a comedy mascot of sorts. Kikutaro is a comedy guy with a goofy mask on and he’s been around forever and I’ve never quite gotten it. Kota Ibushi is some guy who spent some time in AEW but hasn’t really wrestled a lot recently. Ryo has blondish hair and a red leather jacket and shorts with a feather/dragon pattern on them. Yukimitsu is lean, has dark blonde hair, orange gear, and is apparently one of Ibushi’s students.

The Match: Hot start and we brawl and we go outside and uh, Kota is moving gingerly here. The match starts with Seichi and Ryo and the MMA guy is just dominating Aitaka until Ryo reverses a triangle to a powerbomb and then they trade strikes with Ryo actually doing okay and in comes Yukimitsu and Minoru. We work a wristlock sequence and both do some flipping counters with Yuki keeping up with the vet and Tanaka being all moody about it. Anyway Minoru gets the missile dropkick and in comes Tsutenkaku. We get some double-teams and posing and then Minoru’s squad all clobber Takahashi. When they leave though Yukimitsu demolishes Tsu and then reluctantly tags in Kikutaro who does Mutoh spots to take people down before he takes some comedy bumps and then reverses a brainbuster on Tsutenkaku and tags in Kota who moves like his bones are made of broken glass. Ito matches the challenge and they kick each other Kota loses and Minoru’s squad all run in to quadruple team Ibushi before Ryo saves and we now have Ibushi’s squad quadruple teaming Ito leading to a Ryo powerbomb but then everybody runs in again and it’s chaos! Bah gawd! Ito hulks up though and gets a brainbuster on Ibushi and then some kicks to the face and that lets Ibushi hulk up in return and gets a big overhead shot and then Ito responds with some fancy kicks, a legsweep, and a spinning heel kick that grazes Kota’s hair…ooof. Deadlift German follows but Ibushi kicks out! Ito loads up a running lariat but Ibushi gets his own, the kamigoye and that’s 3.

½*

Honestly just not really enough of a match, with the big segment built around Ito (who seems decent) and Ibushi (who I report here, looks bad when he’s not wrestling with BITW candidates). There was some comedy and maybe if I was more invested in GLEAT this would mean more, but just a weak, bad match and I’m not sure it did what it was supposed to do for anybody. I would like to see more of Ryo, he has…something.

Black Generation International (Kaito Ishida & Tetsuya Izuchi (c) vs. The Rascalz (Trey Miguel & Zachary Wentz)

Background: So Black Generation International WERE the dirtbag heel stable of GLEAT, but they wrestled babyface in a prior match so now I don’t know what to think. They’re both young punk kick devils with Kaito having platinum blonde hair and Tetsuya having an undercut and checkered black, white, and purple gear. Kaito is wearing black and gold trunks. The challengers are TNA’s (and NXT’s!) Rascalz, their gimmick is obnoxious skatepunk marijuana enthusiasts and they consist of short-haired Trey and stringy-haired Wentz.

The Match: Tetsuya and Trey start,lockup and trade technical stuff for a bit. Trey seems to get the better of Tetsuya and uses the ropes to go at Izuchi’s arm before pulling off a headscissors takdeown. Tetsuya speeds it up and gets a dropkick and in comes Wentz and Kaito. Wentz is faster than Kaito who takes advantage with a dropkick and then Rascalz isolate the guy with quick stuff. Tetsuya comes in but he’s overmatched by the Ohio boys teamwork and just eats a bevy of kicks. And they do just a thousand more moves to Tetsuya who isn’t really selling all that interestingly. Tetsuya eventually just slaps the heck out of Wentz and gives him a brainbuster and now it’s Kaito’s turn who gets a dozen dragonscrews and we have a reset of sorts with both teams trading offense at the same time in stereo. Rascalz get double topes and it’s back in and Wentz gets the advantage over Ishida with strikes until Kaito just sorta hulks up and ignores those weak shots and gets a German, and then Wentz gets his own German. This sorta Japanese stuff is not Wentz or the Rascalz strength as a performer. Double tag and Trey gets a slick kick sequence to set up a diving codebreaker by Wentz into a Miguel neckbreaker and a Wentz moonsault…and Tetsuya kicks out. Trey goes to the top but Kaito kicks him down and then loads up a top-rope flipping German. More of BGI’s kicks slow down the Rascalz and they both brainbuster Trey and Tetsuya gets a buzzsaw kick for 2.99. Trey gets some agile reversals to stomp Tetsuya but Kaito kicks him out of the ring…and Wentz gets a handspring knee on Kaito…but Tetsuya gets a kick combo on Wentz! Trey with Cheeky Nandos on Tetsuya and then a wacky sequence that ends with a backbreaker rack (Wentz)/Diving knee drop (Trey) but Kaito breaks it up and they’re doing so much stuff. Tetsuya gets a hiptoss into an armbar/rollup combo and then he does a cradle sequence with Trey that gets broken up by both their partners at various stages. Wentz takes out Kaito with a crossbody over the top rope and then the Rascalz get a slingshot backbreaker/diving stomp combo for 3 and we have new champs.

**¾

So, I could see people really, really liking this one, and they did try really hard and they didn’t screw anything up, but to me this just speaks to the difference in American indie junior tag wrestling and Japanese indie junior tag wrestling. The Rascalz wanted to do way more double-teams and have both groups in the ring at the same time, while the Japanese teams are more about singles matches broken up into various components with a few key moments of interference or double-teaming. Neither idea is wrong, neither idea is right, but they did not feel like they were on the same page. I do think that maybe a rematch might give them more opportunities to fix that problem and neither team sucks or is bad for not really clicking here. Sometimes it happens!

CIMA & Ricochet vs. El Hijo del Vikingo & Soma Watanabe

Background: So Soma is the big prospect for GLEAT, and I can’t get over the fact that he looks like Japanese Nick Wayne (I’m not crazy, you’re the one who’s crazy!). El Hijo del Vikingo is another young hot junior ace who actually achieved his potential before suffering a bad knee injury and there are questions about if he can regain his old pop and poise. CIMA of course is a legend and very important to junior wrestling as a guy that innovated a ton of offense, and his partner is Ricochet. So I guess this is like…the past of the juniors (CIMA), the slightly more recent past/present (Ricochet) vs. the present (Vikingo) and the future (Soma). Interesting concept here. Also CIMA shaved his head in what I think is solidarity with Ricochet but it just makes him look like Jun Akiyama or AJPW Mutoh.

The Match: CIMA and Soma start and we get the lockup with Soma winning and slapping CIMA in the ropes. CIMA just nods his head like “okay, this is how we’re playing” and we get CIMA trying some old crafty stuff but Soma is JUST TOO FAST and CIMA remains impressed…and then calls in for Ricochet and Soma calls for Vikingo and they hype up the crowd before tagging out. Rico and Vikingo both springboard in and do a staredown and then do the flippy and then do the staredown and then do the flippy. Rico at least interrupts Vikingo mid-taunt and kicks him and tags in CIMA to do some jerk vet heel double teams on Vikingo who is our luchador in peril. But that doesn’t last long as Vikingo rebounds off the ropes with his neck and brings in Soma to lay out some kicks and now CIMA gets doubled. Soma beats down on CIMA some more as the vet tries to rally, and when Soma gets distracted taunting Ricochet CIMA gets a jawbreaker and a jump kick and in comes Ricochet to keep working Soma’s jaw with repeated jawbreakers and then chops in the corner. Ricochet gets a dropkick and then struts a bit. CIMA back in with the Eddy-somersault senton, then Ricochet gets the “springboard with your knees senton” and then gets a wacky lucha submission on Soma and beats his head against the turnbuckle. Vikingo tries to break it and CIMA gets him in a rolling can-opener for the double-submission photoshoot. After the ref clears that out we’re back to Rico and Soma and other than some chops it’s Rico controlling with a chinlock and…mocking the crowd? Soma tries to do something cool and it almost ends in disaster but Ricochet actually bases and catches him to save the kid’s neck. Soma eventually gets a rolling thunder dropkick though and we get a double-tag and Cima flops wonderfully around for the luchador who does a ton of clever rope-running spots and then an inside-out revolution headscissors takedown on Rico before hitting a crazy corkscrew dive off the ropes to the outside and then the phoenix splash into the ring on CIMA. Ricochet comes in though and gets his own high-flying offense on the luchador. Rico sets up the fireman’s carry driver but Vikingo gets a rana and in comes Soma with a missile dropkick. They do a sequence where they both poison rana each other and hulk up and then Soma gets a dropkick to drop the vet and goes up for a 450 but CIMA breaks that up and then does some tricky vet stuff to break the youngsters team maneuvers and gets a backstabber on Vikingo. CIMA’s iconoclasm on Soma loads up Ricochet’s time to come in and they do some more flippy reversals and Ricochet gets the Lethal Injection (ugh) to load up the 630 senton and that’s 3.

***½

I liked this a lot more than I thought I would! Pretty good youth vs. age story as the different generations of this sort of high-speed wrestling all face off and CIMA was really fun as the wiley vet and Ricochet of all people was fun as a jerk heel styling on the kids and playing to the crowd. Vikingo can still do a ton of crazy stuff, but Soma, who this match was built around in a lot of ways, did not really impress all that much. If he’s supposed to be the future, yikes. I mean he’s not bad, but he’s a generic athletic pretty boy. Still, loads of fun.

Post-match we get a little brouhaha between everybody.

Hayato Tamura (c) vs. Parker Boudreaux – G-REX Championship

Background: Hayato is the champion, a beefy, tan, bleached blonde powerhouse dressed in a fur coat with a mask of a tiger on him. Parker is…well he was a NXT guy who got hyped cause he kinda looked like Brock Lesnar, and he’s got a ton of tattoos and short blonde hair and he’s wearing a blue singlet. He’s had an interesting career is all.

The Match: We start with the shoulders and Parker is bigger and Hayato just bounces off so Tamura goes for some power moves but gets stuffed. They trade chops until Parker gets a solid shoulder and Hayato powders off of it and sells big on the floor. Parker follows but Hayato was goldbricking and runs back in so he can get the jump on Boudreaux when he goes back inside and the champ gets a back elbow that messes up the American’s jaw…but when Hayato tries to capitalize he eats something adjacent to a blue thunder bomb. Parker with another loose suplex and then another as he does all the Brock taunts between moves and Tamura sells huge. Hayato eventually reverses a brainbuster and then gets a sloppy slam but he collapses mid throw and we have a double-down. Hayato takes control with some vet stuff and gets a DDT out of the corner. Parker is selling his nose. Hayato gets a diving shoulderblock and then a chinlock/crossface thing to grind out his larger opponent. Parker eventually makes the ropes and he’s still selling his jaw. Hayato tries to chop down Parker, but the American stumbles the champ with his strikes and they’re really playing up Parker’s physical superiority here with Hayato being punch-drunk and selling big. Hayato tries to hulk up but Parker drops him with a slam and goes up…but Hayato cuts him off and eventually gets a superplex. Tamura with a lariat but Parker has enough resilience to get up for a simultaneous clothesline into a double-down. Tease a double count and Parker is back to the shoulders and the sloppy blue thunder bomb and then a back suplex side slam. Ugly chokeslam follows but that’s still only 2.7 for Parker. Boudreaux sets up something but Tamura goes deadweight and that lets the champ throw some strikes and finally drop the American with a running lariat and then a backdrop driver. Parker sells his chin again and that allows Hayato to hit a running lariat for 3.

***

Well this was a good match, Hayato did all the work, but despite all of Parker’s awkwardness they set up a good story where a bigger, stronger guy had a weak chin and eventually the champ was able to just KO the guy via repeated damage. There’s something to clunky Americans just being better in Japan cause they book them to their strengths. Overall though, Parker is clearly flawed and his power moves are sloppy and bad, but he has something resembling presence and was bumping and selling well.

Katsuhiko Nakajima (c) vs. Masakatsu Funaki – LIDET UWF Championship

Background: So it’s Nakajima, the wandering ronin of puro who has set up shop in GLEAT as their worked MMA champion, for a while he was doing an Inoki parody that Inoki’s family did NOT like so he’s now modified it as the King of XX Style (with Strong crossed out) and is embracing his outlaw, uncooperative, jerk reputation with bleached blonde hair blown out and a marvelous white robe. His challenger is legit MMA legend Masakatsu Funaki, who is super tan, super old, but in pretty great shape and rocking turquoise trunks and a red headband. They have history in NOAH, and Nakajima has a ‘real’ fighter reputation for a pro wrestler being apparently a pretty good karate guy and being known for his stiff kicks. Oh and because these are UWF rules, both have 5 points and you lose points for ropebreaks, closed-fist strikes, and knockdowns. Funaki’s points are in blue and Katsuhiko’s are in red.

The Match: They dance around and probe with strikes as they deliver glancing blows to the legs before trying overhand shots. Funaki gets a double-leg but Nakajima gets a guard and keeps the head in place. Funaki grabs a leg and rolls back and now Nakajima is standing as Funaki teases the kneebar. Nakajima rolls into a mount while Funaki has one leg trapped still and Kats is throwing small body shots. Funaki transitions into working the arm and eventually Nakajima rolls away. Funaki goes into Inoki position and I guess kicks to the ground aren’t legal so Nakajima dives in for another grappling sequence. Funaki tries a triangle but Nakajima slips free and they both go for kneebars until Funaki gets an anklelock and Nakajima grabs the ropes (4-5). Katsuhiko is frustrated and is selling the leg as it’s back to stand up. Nakajima backs Funaki into the corner with slaps and stomps away, and then grabs the showtime choke while the ref pulls him out of it and that lets Funaki get his own slaps and gets Nakajima in the corner where some heavy knees drop Katsuhiko to his knees and we tease a ten-count but Nakajima is up at 9 (3-5). A few kicks set up a German suplex by Nakajima but Masakatsu reverses into an armbar…but Nakajima goes for the Northern Lights Bomb. Funaki blocks that with a headlock but that sets up a backdrop driver by Nakajima for an 8 count (3-4). Back to the striking but Katsuhiko catches a kick and that opens up Funaki for hard slap that drops him (3-3). Nakajima goes in for more strikes but immediately eats an uraken and he’s dropped but is up at 9 (2-3). Funaki goes for a clinch and throws knees but Nakajima breaks free and drops Funaki with another slap but Masakatsu barely makes it up at 9.5 (2-2). Funaki can’t keep his hands up though and Nakajima slips in behind for the sleeper and that’s a ref stoppage.

***½

I find this stuff very fun despite how bizarre it is. Also, worked UWF MMA stuff is a lot more fun than the real boring grappling exhibitions we saw earlier. Perhaps a bit repetitive with the slap trading but the strikes looked great and I love the points system.

Post-match Nakajima puts over Funaki and Funaki does the same and it seems that Nakajima requests El Lindaman to face him next.

Well that was a show! What a weird, weird, weird promotion GLEAT is. And this was honestly a pretty decent show as well, but still, I don’t see it as more than a super indie, a place where has-beens, flame-outs, and never-was guys mix with the odd cantankerous star and perhaps some guys that maybe could become something but they won’t in GLEAT. It’s an interesting promotion, but there is a real clearance aisle vibe to the operation that makes investment difficult for me.