Tryout: Joey Palermo reviews NWA-TNA PPV 63

Okay, here’s a new reviewer that’s looking for some exposure on the blog, so give him a look and let me know what you think about Joey Palermo!

NWA-TNA PPV #63

Aired on September 17, 2003.

Taped from Nashville.

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Don West.

Wednesday, bloody Wednesday was last show, DADDY, and hoo boy it led to a lot of nothing being resolved. So much so TNA took a week off because of all the intrigue and drama.

Recap begins with the show with Diamond and Swinger retaining the belts last week. Tonight: a Fatal 4 Way number one contenders match between the New Church, AMW, 3 Live Krew (unsure which two,) and Kid Kash and Abyss. Aww, Abyss’ first tag.

Mike Tenay welcomes us to the show. Raven vs Shane DOuglas; hair vs hair! Roddy Piper returns! AJ defends the title against Jerry Lynn (?)

3 Live Krew open the show. Konnan in a Steve Francis jersey wants to know where all his dogs are at and does his usual not LWO schtick, and BG takes the mike and says 3LK will drop their new single next week. Cool. Kash and Abyss are next and I guess the match is just starting as

New Church walks out. Sin has replaced Brian Lee, who left in July without much mention. I dare say 3LK got a bigger reaction than AMW.

Match #1: No. 1 Contenders Match: 3LK vs New Church vs AMW vs Kid Kash and Abyss.

Slash and Storm begin the match. Konnan is on commentary again and immediately says “we’re gonna be the number one challengers” so we’re off to a roaring start. Thumb to the eyes for Slash and he tags Sin into a double backbreaker for two, broken up by Harris. Storm is thrown out while Harris is yelling at Mitchell, drawing the ire of the New Church. Pretty clear who the main two teams are. BG tags in and he’s a James on fire for a little bit until he eats a superkick from Storm, then Kash falls into the tag and covers for a couple of two counts. Slash broke up one of them I guess.

Kash hits a flying somersault, right to the nuts for 2. James needs a minute after that, so they go to a replay while James recoups. Kash misses the elbow drop and tags in Killings and makes his comeback. Tag to James, and a high kick from Truth into a Shake, Rattle, and…well, gets 2. Kash tags in Abyss and immediately gets doubled by 3LK. Now Harris is in and everybody’s taking turns working that arm, brother. Kash slaps Abyss and this fires Abyss up, with clotheslines for everybody. He throws Storm into all the bodies but James hits the jabs, then ducks the chokeslam from Abyss, allowing AMW to hit a double spear then a double crossbody to the outside on Abyss. Kash tries to hit Killings with a double underhook something while the ref deals with everyone outside but then Terry Taylor hits a low blow on Kash. Killings

hits a facebuster and 3LK are the number one contenders at 7:20. So many pieces, so little time. New Church did nothing in this match either. *½

Tenay and West talk about the show. All the Super X losers and Sabin are in a tag match tonight, and Diamond and Swinger are in action. D-Lo Brown and Sonny Siaki in a casket match tonight, and AJ Styles faces Jerry Lynn for the title because 2002. Also Raven and Shane Douglas in a hair vs hair match tonight.

Bagpipes play and lights go out and it’s time for Hot Rod as Mike Tenay says “this wasn’t supposed to happen now!” as management pray it can’t get any worse than last time. Piper has just come off with Sean O’Haire in WWE and had a couple of segments with Hogan. Actually a decent run all things considered. Piper: “Have you heard any Piper jokes lately?” and begins with how he isn’t crazy but says if you follow him around long enough you see a different side in him. After saying something about pitcher toss and losing your winnings, Roddy says this is as real as it gets!

Crowd chants Hot Rod as he says he holds his life in his career and mentions how he competed and was in the NWA everywhere. Piper meanders on and now talks about the INTERNET and the RUMORS! Apparently Piper might be a drug addict…now he’s pissed and starts talking about how hard he worked for everything and throws the stool he was sitting on out of the ring. Piper talks about how he was raised as he’s starting to lose it and talks about how he made Wrestlemania and because of some “dumb-ass shit promoter” put something online that he doesn’t understand, he wants to know what happens when someone takes a stand and kicks it down. They come home and that’s why he’s here. He wants to be a part of it! And here comes Russo again. Because it worked so well last time! Piper repeats how it’s as simple as it gets and says “last time, I made another mistake with you.” No it’s not that thing, it’s about how he didn’t kill him. Now he wants to kick his ass this time just because his name is Vincent. Russo says he’s not here to play any games because “that’s how we solve everything in the wrestling world.” He’s not here to fight but to talk about last time. Recap of THAT question in December without mentioning it. Russo says he’s burned every bridge and closed every door and doesn’t want him here either. Apparently TNA has a decision to make tonight, and it’s either Piper or Russo staying here tonight. Something tells me this question won’t be answered tonight. Russo threatens to take Styles with him if he leaves, and asks if Piper gives a damn about anyone and then leaves. This took almost twice as long as a match that had 10 total people in it including people not wrestling.

Recap of Sonny Siaki and D’Lo Brown’s feud. Trinity is dressed to wrestle. Not that it matters with this company anyway.

Match #2: Casket Match: D’Lo Brown vs Sonny Siaki

Brown runs for Siaki and starts throwing punches. Siaki wins that, then uses the casket on Brown. Trinity is in fact not in action but is on the apron distracting Brown (not like that) but Brown fights back with a flying clothesline. The entire company is basically the group not

named Sports Entertainment Extreme versus all the faces they have and it just screams filler. Brown goes for nothing in the corner with Siaki laying on the casket and Siaki hits a flapjack, denting the casket. Siaki drops the casket on Brown twice. Not the right way to win the match, Ace Siaki, Hole Detective. Brown makes the comeback as there’s carnations all over the ring then Brown gets hit by the casket in the corner again. Brown then catches Siaki and slams him on top of the casket, then hits a Lo D-er, frog splash off the top onto the casket. But then fucking UMAGA shows up and slams Brown, then hits a splash of his own onto the back of Brown, allowing Siaki to slam and break the casket while Brown is in it for the win at 5:14. Holy shit, I forgot Umaga was ever in TNA. Throw that in the pile of people that didn’t last long. He looked good here, everything else did not. DUD

Scott Hudson is with Don Callis in the back. He thinks Jerry Lynn getting a title shot is ridiculous. I kinda agree; what has Lynn done to deserve this? Erik Watts then talks to Callis and reminds him who he is and what he does, and he’s got papers to prove it. Vince Russo shows up and says AJ Styles will fight anybody tonight and then tells Callis they both need to talk. They leave and Scott Hudson says something about a chewed novel. The fuck was that?

Match #3: Chris Sabin, Nosawa, and X Division Champion Michael Shane vs Eric Young, Frankie Kazarian, and Juventud

This is Eric Young’s TNA debut. Crazy. Also at this rate, Michael Shane will be shaking a Sexy Boy knockoff in two weeks. Shane and Young start. Get used to hearing “Showtime” Eric Young as he went by this for a good while. Juvy throws some chops and runs the ropes only to be met by a Shane spin kick. Tag to Nosawa and does some really fast nothing before Juvy hits a smoking dropkick. Lot of rope running before Nosawa rolls out of a sunset attempt before tagging in Sabin. Young is hitting dropkicks on Sabin after too long before tagging in Kazarian. Tenay says Kazarian has done everything in TNA except for the X Division Title. He won it at least twice! Tenay won’t shut the fuck up about the battle of the future as Nozawa hits a big boot on Kazarian allowing Sabin to take over. Sabin hits a springboard spin kick for 2, then tags in Shane. Shane is apparently a heel because reasons now, not just Heartbreak related. Swinging neckbreaker off the second rope gets 2. Tag to Sabin, but Kazarian hits a rebound Pump Kick and both men are down. All of these matches feel incredibly rushed, par for the course for early TNA. All three heels want a triple team hip drop, but Kazarian somehow gets out of that, then ducks a double clothesline, hitting a second rope back elbow, one for the remaining heel. Hot tag to Juvy, who patiently waits for the heels to get in position while hitting a springboard bulldog, then a heel kick before Shane cuts him off. Juvy presses the triangle button to stop running the ropes, then dives onto Nozawa and now it’s everyone’s turn to start diving outside, concluding with Sabin jumping to the top turnbuckle to hit a dive on everyone. Sabin and Juvy in and Juvy blocks the tornado DDT then hits the Juvy Driver. 450 is crotched before takeoff by Shane, then Future Shocked by Sabin…for 2. Superkick by Shane is blocked by Kazarian, then Shane hits an Edgecution before Juvy takes him to the outside again. Nozawa and Young are in now apparently and Nozawa greets Young with kicks. Then Young hits his first Wheelbarrow Neckbreaker on Nozawa but Sabin hits him with the title. Shane steals the pin at 9:16 while Kazarian is distracted by someone in the front row that sure looks

like Angelina Love. Shane celebrates the title as his front teeth are bleeding. Well it was certainly TNA. ***

Christopher Daniels package. Daniels then with a pretaped promo about metamorphosis, Jeff Jarrett, and the seventh day before NPCs say he is the light and leave with candles.

Jeff Jarrett has his global entrance back despite not being the world champion. I know he and HHH of this era are compared similarly but Jarrett has only had the belt once so far and didn’t hold it terribly long, especially comparing him to the Reign of Terror. That being said, it DOES feel like every segment with him is the main attraction, whether he’s fighting Scott Hall or Just

Joe E. Legend. ANYWAY, Jarrett is out with a plain white tee and wants to get down to business. Jarrett has three points. 1. Where’s his title shot? 2. The decision of Russo vs Piper is easy: Russo can’t stand this business, Piper can. 3. Daniels wants to play hide and seek but Jarrett is the hunter and he’s the hunted. Well the shorter the Jarrett promo the better.

Backstage with Mad Mikey. He doesn’t know where Shark Boy is but he’s here now. Mikey is pissed at Shark Boy playing with backstage dolls and destroys everything again.

Match #4: Simon Diamond and Johnny Swinger vs Shark Boy and Mad Mikey

Swinger and Mikey begin. Mikey is wearing a FedUp shirt. Is that his merch? I would buy that on TNA Shop right now and wear that only on weekends. Sharkacanrana gets 2, as called by Tenay. Shark Boy hits a Big Wiggle then a double elbow with Mikey for 2. Tag to Mikey, who immediately gets heat as Swinger chokes him out. The fact that CRASH HOLLY has maybe the fifth T-shirt TNA ever attempted to make is crazy given we’re a year and a half in at this point. Scott Hudson on PIP is trying to get answers from Jarrett in the dark as Shark Boy gets the hot tag. Jawbreaker then a Rude Awakening is broken up by Diamond. He’s hardly been in this match has Diamond. Simon says apparently it’s time to wrap it up as Shark Boy hits the Shark Bite then the Deep Sea Driver gets 3 but Gilbertti puts the foot on the rope. Mikey snaps into his one emotion and beats up on Gilbertti but Diamond and Swinger hit a double team DDT for the win at 4:21 and it’s immediately TO THE BACK. Match was whatever. ½*

Jarrett and Scott Hudson have found Daniels and they brawl all over a barely lit alley. Audio flares up while Hudson does PXP as Jarrett hits Daniels with a chair. They brawl up to a stage, then Jarrett throws Daniels off a stage through a couple of tables. So I guess Jarrett is done with Daniels for a while. A while being two weeks.

Recap of the Jerry Lynn-AJ Styles rivalry. Styles says 2002 was a great year for him, and 2003 makes him another year wiser. Jerry Lynn thinks Styles is a boy, Vince Russo’s boy specifically. Lynn reminds AJ he pinned him three times and Styles retorts with “but you never had this lol.” Lynn also says it’s his first shot at the belt. HA!

Match #5: AJ Styles vs Jerry Lynn for the NWA Heavyweight Championship

Tenay keeps reminding us that Erik Watts signed off on this match, not that it matters. It’s dumb no matter who signed off on it. This is the third challenger in a row Styles has fought for the title for really no reason. He should have lost it to Raven realistically but hey ho. AJ has Trinity with him again. Remember when they teased dissension between him and Sonny Siaki, who’s also

aligned with Trinity and now Jamal/Umaga?

JB keeps reminding us Styles has held the title since June 11th. Okay and? Shoving leads to chopping, followed by chain wrestling. Staredown leads to Lynn elbows followed by kicks in the corner. Monkey flip sends Styles into the corner, then reverses AJ for 2. Styles was kinda right in that Lynn has not had a good 2003; TNA pushed the hell outta Jerry to start their tenure, and Jerry has just been in random feuds and AJ has won the title and been in the main event picture basically the whole year. Jerry Lynn is ironically in the Dolph Ziggler role WWE had him in forever. So AJ you could say is

Anyway, Trinity tells Lynn to pay attention as AJ hits a basement dropkick. Lynn wants a piledriver outside but Trinity gets involved, allowing AJ to take over. He busts Lynn open on the steps then punches him near the guard rail. Lynn’s blonde hair turns to red in a hurry as Styles gets 2. This is .4 on the Muta scale, for those wondering. Nasty back elbow off the ropes leads to punches in the corner as Don West says Jerry Lynn has survived death apparently. I don’t know that financial troubles equal death. Styles is full of Lynn’s blood at this point as both men are down after Lynn hits an exploder suplex. Discus clothesline is missed by AJ leads to a comeback for Lynn finished with a TKO for 2. High angle powerbomb out of the corner by Lynn gets 2. Replay shows Styles landed high on his shoulders there. Trinity distracts the ref as Lynn goes for the cradle piledriver but Trinity shoves the ref into Lynn, allowing Styles to hit a brainbuster for 2. Lynn hits a modified Shell Shocked for 2. Trinity distracts the ref again and Styles wants a chair. Lynn does not oblige but Styles hits him in the Jerry Lynns, then a suplex into a neckbreaker on the chair by Styles gets a close 2. Styles Clash in the center of the ring finishes it at 8:51. Good match but we’ve seen better from these two. ***

Post match, Styles celebrates with Trinity and Russo. Russo now wants the ring and the mic. He wants an answer right now. But Dusty Rhodes comes out instead. Dusty wants to lay something simple on Russo real quick: it’s not TNA’s or Russo’s decision whether he stays or not. Styles threatens to use a bat and Dusty threatens to stick it up his ass. That’s like the 15th lewdest thing Dusty has said since debuting. Dusty talks about the decision lying with Styles and the guys like Piper, Dusty, and Wahoo McDaniel that never got a chance to hold the title. Styles is their leader and he makes the decision, not anyone else. Dusty asks if he smells something burning? Styles says no and Dusty says it’s desire to be the best, not to be a puppet to Russo, or this asshole as he calls it, daddy. Dusty concludes by wanting to know when he collects his money Russo’s standing behind him and to get rid of him. AJ, still with the bat in his hand, thinks it over, then hands the bat to Dusty before hitting him from behind. But Dusty fights back with elbows until AJ attacks Dusty before Piper shows up. Red Shirt Security tries to stop Piper and he gets dragged out of here while Russo grabs the bat. Now Jeff Jarrett is out to chase off the heels as this segment finally ends. What a nothing burger. I was in fact correct about the decision.

Next week: 3LK vs Diamond and Swinger for the titles. 3LK also debuts their new single. Also Kid Kash vs Terry Taylor? What is with TNA having a young star face the old men to learn a lesson in respect? This is the third time this storyline has run!

Backstage, Russo is screaming at Callis and now Callis makes the decision: to get Piper out of the building. Jarrett asks Callis what his problem is and Callis says you’re just a wrestler, to which Jarrett pins Callis to the wall as we go to commercial. I was in fact incorrect about the decision.

Jarrett involved in another storyline that doesn’t need him? Color me shocked. Raven vs Douglas rivalry recap.

Backstage, Father Mitchell says his hornswoggle (what) thinks he’s a messiah. How can he be respected when he has a bald head? There won’t be any false advertising here; no one of these guys is actually gonna be shaved bald tonight. How is it possible for a raven to soar when he’s lost his cloumage? How, Father Mitchell? How can a raven lose his cheese and still fly? Some questions were never meant to be answered. Douglas says Raven is getting franchised tonight. By far the worst promo Mitchell has cut since arriving in TNA.

Match #6: Shane Douglas vs Raven: Hair vs Hair

20 minutes left and I wonder if half of that is going to be post match. Raven is still the most over person on the roster as I continue to wonder how and why they didn’t give Raven the title a few weeks ago.

Staredown to start. Some start to a blood feud. Douglas sticks his fingers where they don’t belong and the fists fly! For 30 seconds until they back off. Then they just decide to go to the floor, still nothing. Lockup leads to a shoulder block by Raven. More staring. Tenay says Don Callis is demanding Jeff Jarrett in the ring next week. All right then. Douglas gets thrown into the safety rail as this match finally gets going and they start fighting into the crowd. Raven starts bashing Douglas with a chair then makes a fan hold the chair and throws Douglas into it that way. Raven with a Cobra Clutch. Yawn. Raven Effect is blocked, then Douglas hits a drop toe hold for his first offensive move 6 minutes in. Douglas gets thrown into the guard rail. Then the steps. I think Raven’s working hurt or something; he was limping last time and this is just Brawl City right now.

Douglas is busted open. Douglas blocks the announce table and throws Raven into the apron. Douglas is breathing heavy right now too. Raven is now busted open. Just get it over with. Douglas with a snapmare. Now an abdominal stretch quickly reversed by Raven. Douglas throws Raven out of the ring again. Douglas chokes Raven near the ropes as I start checking the time. Raven reverses and kicks Douglas, who throws up on the spot, leading to the first cover of the match. Eww. Raven grabs a chair but Douglas has a chain and punches Raven

with it for two. Raven hits a drop toe hold onto the chair for 2. Guess these two were told to go home after Douglas showed everyone his lunch. Superkick from Raven but Slash takes the ref outside. West says he’s so tired of this as Raven takes out Slash. Now Sin is out with a superkick to Raven as the ref is down. It’s no DQ anyway so who cares. Sin grabs a table. The Church beats up Raven but Dinero and Punk run out. Punk is wearing a headband and sure looks like he could be a Nirvana singer as the Gathering take out the New Church. Raven hits the Raven Effect in the center…for 2. Douglas is still sucking wind and what’s left of his food as Raven heads to the top but Douglas shoves him off for 2. Raven Effect off the top through the table gets 1…2…lights go out. Lights come back up and the mystery man is in the center of the ring. It’s…it’s Vampiro. DDT to Raven gets the pin for Douglas at 16:10. Holy shit that was terrible. -*½

Post match, Mitchell gets the clippers and Raven refuses. Douglas says welcome to your destiny, Raven. Now Raven accepts and Mitchell cuts everything off. No bullshit here, this is cutting him bald all right. Tenay treats this as a fate worse than death. Don West throws down his headset in disgust and they show Raven his bald head. Tenay says this sucks and he’s lost his objectivity as we go off the air.

Well the wrestling was almost as long as the talking was tonight. That’s saying something at this point for TNA. At least there’s only a year left of these weekly PPVs?