(Almost) 5-Star Match Reviews: The WWF/WWE Armageddon Hell In A Cell

2000 was one of the best years in WWF/WWE history. It was a year filled with wild brawls, Dusty finishes, multi-man encounters, and an ‘involve-as-many-people-as-possible’ mentality. Nowhere was that clearer than on the final PPV/PLE of the year, Armageddon. This show featured the first – and so far, only – time that six wrestlers were inside a Cell at the same time. It stands as a microcosm of WWF in 2000 as a whole, but how good is it in hindsight?

The Story

There were multiple overlapping stories going into this match. First, there was the ongoing Austin versus HHH and Rikishi with Austin wanting revenge for Rikishi – at HHH’s command – running Austin over at Survivor Series 1999. Then there was Kurt Angle who feuded with The Undertaker through the summer of 2000 and then moved on to WWF Champion The Rock, whom Angle defeated at No Mercy in October. The story also included what is quite possibly the best promo The Rock has ever cut, and think about how much ground THAT covers.

And of course, a peak WWF storyline wouldn’t be complete without authority figures so Vince McMahon and Commissioner Mick Foley were involved as well. Foley was the one who decided that, given how messy and convoluted the world title picture was getting, the title would be defended in a six-pack Hell in a Cell match for the first time. Vince, however, had other plans. He tried to dissuade Austin, Rock, and Undertaker from competing in the Cell match. But those three guys answered Vince’s mind games by hitting their finishers on him. They wouldn’t be convinced to give up their opportunities at a world title, especially since it only took one random person and not the defending champion to be pinned for the title to change hands.

So here were five current/former world champions and Rikishi all vying for world title gold in what was surely going to be one of the most chaotic HIAC matches of all time. All six of these men had some kind of history with each other. If there were going to be alliances, they surely wouldn’t last all that long since it was every man for himself. This spelt disaster for Kurt Angle who was by far both the smallest and least experienced man in the match. But would he pull off some kind of miracle and leave with his title reign intact, or would one of the other give men emerge from the blood and carnage wrapped in gold?

The Match

This took place on December 12, 2000. It was rated ****1/2 out of five by the Wrestling Observer’s Dave Meltzer.

The entrance order is as follows: Triple H, Rikishi, Kurt Angle, Undertaker, The Rock, and finally, Steve Austin. Austin noticed Angle, the defending champion, hasn’t enter the cell and rushes him right out of the gate while the remaining four men brawl amongst themselves. Austin then goes after HHH, Undertaker goes after Angle, and Rock attacks Rikishi. ‘Taker punches Angle in the ring as Rock chokes Rikishi with electric cables. ‘Taker chokes Angle with his bandana and then the focus shifts to the two Samoans for a bit until Rock lands a huge flying shoulder. Then we get a taste of Austin/HHH as HHH lands a facebuster and Austin answers with a Lou Thesz press and an elbow drop for two.

Austin lands a rope rush for two but then HHH reverses an Irish whip and lands a jumping knee as angle & Rock re-enter the ring. HHH smashes Austin’s knee into a ringpost as Rock lands a Samoan drop on Angle for two. Angle drops Rock with a back elbow but Undertaker drags Angle out of the ring. HHH, now bloodied, lands a suplex on the ringside mats. The match turns into a giant clusterfuck that becomes hard to follow with only one camera and action split into different spots.

Austin grinds HHH’s face into the cell wall as we hear talk of Rock manhandling Angle but we don’t see it. Austin drags HHH’s bloody forehead along the cell around the ring and dumps HHH in the ring but before he can enter Rikishi drops a leg on him. Rikishi hugs HHH to form an alliance but HHH breaks it seconds later with a Pedigree. He covers but Rock breaks it up. Rock reverses his way into a DDT and covers but Angle breaks that up and then reverses his way into an Angle Slam which Austin breaks up. Stunner on Angle. Undertaker breaks it up and hits a chokeslam. He covers but HHH pulls him off. This enrages Undertaker as he launches HHH into one side of the cell at a time as Austin avoids a corner press from Rikishi and drops him with a clothesline.

Austin clothesline Undertaker out of the ring and then does the Thesz Press on Rikishi. The focus shifts to the entrance ramp as Vince McMahon, Pat Patterson, and Gerald Brisco all come out in a pickup truck. They hook a huge winch to the cell door and pry it off with ease. As this is happening Rikishi is teasing a Stinkface on Rock but Rock clotheslines him out of his boots. Rikishi hits back with a thrust kick as Commissioner Mick Foley comes out, argues with Vince, and then takes out Patterson and Brisco. Vince teases hitting Mick with a cane but Foley has security goons drag Vince away.

With Vince dealt with, HHH tries escaping from the cell but Austin chases him down. they fight onto some junk cars as part of the stage décor and then Austin smashes a big camera into HHH’s midsection. Now everyone’s fighting everywhere and once again the action becomes split. HHH hits back at Austin and drives his head through a truck window which busts him open as well.

Rock drags HHH back to the junkyard near the stage and tries a Rock Bottom atop a car but HHH stops it with a low blow and a Pedigree. Different bodies get thrown through or onto these cars as Rock starts bleeding from the head as well and Angle has blood on his arm now too, though it’s hard to say if that’s his blood or someone else’s. Austin catapults HHH onto another car and then smashes his head into an industrial oil drum while Undertaker chokes Angle with a microphone cable. Angle breaks free and chairs ‘Taker to make him the fourth man to bleed here.

Meanwhile, HHH and Austin climb the cell. The crowd goes absolutely ape when both men reach the top and start trading punches. Austin makes HHH teeter close to the edge but then HHH pushes back. There’s a delightful irony to all this carnage taking place in front of a sign that reads “BAPTIST HEALTH SYSTEM”, which I’m sure some of these men will need once this night is over. Both Angle and ‘Taker climb the cell as Austin lands a Stunner on HHH at the top. HHH and Angle get knocked down and now Angle’s bleeding as well.

The crowd boos loudly as HHH climbs back down and Austin purses him, leaving Angle alone with Undertaker. From one side Rikishi starts climbing the cell to get saway from the Rock while a ringside attendant tries throwing Undertaker a chair for some reason. Undertaker brains Angle with a chairshot but then Rikishi chairs his back. He chairs both of them for a bit until Angle climbs down as well.

Four of the six men make their way back into the ring while Undertaker fights with Rikishi atop the cell. Some punches cause Rikishi to move closer to the edge. Then Undertaker goozles him. And chokeslams him off the cell onto the bed of that pickup truck.

We move away from that big spot faster than I expected as Rock and Austin tee off in the ring. They go back-and-forth until Rock blocks a Stunner and lands a spinebuster. Rock teases the People’s Elbow but HHH cuts him off. Rock fights him off and then clotheslines him out of the ring. Angle tries a cheap-shot but runs into a Rock Bottom. One, two, Austin breaks it up and then lands a huge Stunner on Rock. Austin goes for a cover but HHH cuts him off. Austin hits a Stunner/neckbreaker but doesn’t notice Angle rolling over behind them. HHH and Austin collapse in exhaustion as Angle gets a single arm over Rock which counts as a cover. One, two, and three! Angle steals the win to retain his title.

Winner and STILL WWF Champion after 32:20: Kurt Angle

Review

That was a fine little garbage brawl with plenty of chaos and mayhem but nothing truly outstanding. It was one of those fine little garbage brawls for which you could turn your brain off and just enjoy the madness as it unfolded. It had some moments of genuine entertainment, including that spot with Rikishi taking one of the gutsiest Cell bumps you’ll ever see. But despite having a few high peaks, most of the match was largely slow and plodding. It went too long and featured a bit too much rudderless nonsense of random guys switching punching partners for a few minutes. Though it was surely exciting in the moment and it fit thematically with the overall wild tone of the Attitude Era, this HIAC match does leave quite a bit to be desired.

Because there were so many moving parts it was difficult for anyone to follow along. Those who were lucky enough to see everything as it happened (i.e. the select few who were in the arena and had clear enough view to not be obstructed by the cell structure) probably got to see all the action in different pockets. Sadly, this is one match that gets limited by having only a single camera with which to focus. With three pairs all split off one camera couldn’t catch everything so it was left to a combination of Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler on commentary and a bit of fan imagination to what was going on in the background. Though this was still better than having a trigger-happy production team cutting from one camera to another in an attempt to catch everything all at once.

The match also had this “dominoes” format with one pair taking turns in the spotlight before fading to the side for the next ones to come in. Then after Vince got involved the match went back to being chaotic and limited to simple brawling. The only time the match reached any level of spectacular was when Rikishi got thrown (or should I say, pushed) off the cell and onto what was clearly a concealed crash pad. Yes, it was shocking to see a 400-plus-pound man fall backwards in such a dangerous spot, especially since so many things could go wrong with that spot. And yet the moment lacked the seriousness of the biggest spots of Undertaker/Michaels in 1997 or Undertaker/Mankind in 1998. The action just stopped for maybe thirty seconds and then things just moved on. Though it made complete sense to just move on given the central theme of chaos in the match, I think they moved on from it a bit too abruptly for the moment to really sink in.

Final Rating: ***3/4

There are definitely better Hell in a Cell matches out there especially ones with fewer people involved. Though the idea of six men in one cell at once was a great idea on paper and fit the story and build-up angles perfectly, I think in execution the match falls a bit short of expectations. It had only one truly memorable spot in thirty-plus minutes of action. Most of said action was way too simplistic and at times a bit dull. There was a marked lack of creative cell-based spots save for what a few people did to Triple H. The match went too long which forced some of those repeated spots. They could’ve shaved off at least ten minutes and nothing would’ve changed in terms of story and the action would’ve been just as exciting if not more so.

But the Attitude Era was always about quantity over quality; get as many people involved in something as possible hoping that lesser stars would gain more star power through osmosis. While the overall quality of matches from that era remains highly subjective and a bit overinflated thanks to nostalgia, there was still a genuine unpredictability during that made matches next to impossible to predict, and that factor is one of the main reasons so many people still love the Attitude Era, even after almost a quarter-of-a-century has passed.

Thanks for reading.