Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue vs. Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi (and other Dream Matches!)

Welcome back to more Dream Matches! I had to put this one up pretty late- I was at Disney World for twelve days, and my backlog was pretty much destroyed by that and having my computer break only a couple weeks beforehand (ugh RIP my bank account), meaning I had even less time to write stuff up… and then of course WestJet cancelled my flight at the last minute and I had to spend an extra 24 hours in airports, then was so messed up from the sleep disruptions I could barely get anything down. But I’m back! Scrambling for more content!

So first off it’s another “Pillars” All Japan match, as Jumbo Tsuruta & Akira Taue defend their Tag Titles against upstart squad Mitsuharu Misawa & Kenta Kobashi! Following that, it’s one of the WWF’s attempts to build up Aguila as a challenger for Taka Michinoku’s Light Heavyweight Title, as he takes on lucha pirate Pirata Morgan on WWF Shotgun! Then I found a particularly weird Dream Match between Superstar Billy Graham & Jimmy Valiant going up against Southern team The Rock & Roll RPMs! But the match was so short I wanted to find ANOTHER RPMs match, and found one against Brett & Buzz Sawyer, another pair of guys I know nothing about! And finally, it’s more of my new look at Mr. Hughes, as he takes on Marty Jannetty in the summer of 1993 WWF!

ALL JAPAN WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
JUMBO TSURUTA & AKIRA TAUE vs. MITSUHARU MISAWA & KENTA KOBASHI:
(All Japan, June 5th 1992)
* Okay I need a headliner alongside all these scrub matches- time for some ALL JAPAN! So at this point Jumbo is the grumpy, aging Ace who refuses to relinquish his spot to these kids who won’t get off his fucking lawn. Key example being Misawa, the obvious Future Ace- the stoic man of the hour. And his partner is Kobashi, the ultimately mega-babyface overwrought seller & FIGHTING SPIRIT guy. Jumbo’s second is young boy Akira Taue, a “Clone Buddy” of similar stature who is of the same generation as Misawa (aka a traitor). The upstarts get HUGE reactions from the fans.

The subordinates start us off, doing Internationals and “slow build” stuff with lockups, and Taue quickly tags out to Jumbo, and we have an ACE FIGHT immediately! I don’t think the crowd was anticipating that so early. Jumbo sells a single elbow as if it were shockingly effective and staggering, so he bulls Misawa into the corner and pounds him down. Misawa has to rely on speed to harry him, but a Jumbo Knee gives the Ace some respite. He works the midsection while selling his head (Jumbo is the BEST at that), and Taue gets tons of heat for coming in for a dishonorable double-team with punches to the gut. He works the abs but Misawa soon elbows free, so Taue just shoves down Kobashi and calls in the boss to handle things, Jumbo doing a big boot into his taunt to a big reaction. But he finally earns boos for some bootrakes in the ropes and making Taue lay the beats on the floor while he has a rest. Taue throws boots but Kenta gets a big reaction for kicking his knee. Taue’s like “The FUCK, dude?” in his reaction and slaps him hard, but eats a staccato burst and has to rely on his sumo background to toss him down and Jumbo IMMEDIATELY puts the boots to the kid and chokes him like a total asshole, haha. I love how the crowd boos and even Taue just kinda stares like “…” cuz he’s just following instructions.

Jumbo decides to work the knee and makes Taue smash his knee into the post several times, then locks on an STF, which is a great “let Kobashi do his facial expressions while fighting it” hold, and then Taue drops him knee-first on the post and grinds away at the leg, leading to the “Kenta’s FIGHTING SPIRIT!” fight-up spot. But not yet- Jumbo boots him down and has Taue dropkick the leg. Samoan drop, atomic drop-to-backdrop suplex and enzuigiri work Kenta over, but Misawa keeps getting provoked and finally just drags Taue over to their corner! CHEATER! They work Taue over with double-teams while Jumbo interferes periodically, and they slowly work the leg, and Kenta makes a big show of paying back the kneecrusher from earlier with his own! He puts on his Texas cloverleaf, naturally luring in Jumbo, but when the old man signals his Jumbo Lariat, Kenta of course releases and bashes him, sending Jumbo to the floor! Soon everyone hits the ring to keep interfering, and Misawa nearly Tiger Drivers Taue- Jumbo stopping him and letting Taue get a desperation lariat. Jumping Knee! He nails Kobashi! Jumbo taunt! “Get off my LAWN!” Lariat! Misawa kicks out but is stunned, and so Taue goes to work with his DDT and Jumbo hits the sleeperhold (pulling hair until Kobashi breaks it up to MASSIVE boos). Jumbo plants another jumping knee, but another attempt sees Misawa again use his speed- back elbow sets up a flying elbow for a double-down! Misawa gets two off that, hits his twisting lariat, and the crowd goes wild when he hits his crossface that won him a big win (I think against Jumbo)- Taue earns boos for breaking that up, but gets clobbered and held back by Kobashi, leading to a big nearfall (with the ref doing most of the work to show how manic and desperate this is).

Misawa’s beat, so Kobashi comes in for his repeater chops, lariat and corner DDT, but Jumbo plasters him for daring to try his rolling cradle. Taue comes in to mop up but just gets his ass kicked, and a tornado bulldog gets two for Kenta, leading to a missile dropkick… and Misawa immediately hits a flying splash, netting Kobashi two! Moonsault! Jumbo saves! The crowd is shitting their pants at this. Misawa clobbers the old man and crossfaces him again to give Kobashi the win… but the next moonsault MISSES! Misawa’s like “shit…” as Taue bails for a respite, but BAM! Elbow suicida to the face instead! Misawa readies himself for the tag, but now Jumbo just shoves Kenta into him and Misawa crashes into the guardrail with a huge crack. Kenta’s toasted, and Jumbo crushes him with a huge backdrop suplex and shoves Taue on top… for two! Taue tries to finish with the Chokeslam, and Jumbo starts battering Kenta when he resists it, and then they hit a Backdrop/Chokeslam to murder Kenta, only for Misawa to clock Jumbo and break it up! The crowd was expecting Jumbo to block him! Taue goes it along with a powerbomb, but can only get two- Misawa lets Kobashi get a German for two, and everyone’s scrapping in the ring. Taue finally gets the Chokeslam for two, and gets a BIG one to finish while Jumbo desperately holds Misawa back, winning one for his team at (27:12).

Another fantastic match featuring some of the best to ever do it. Perfect “Grumpy Old Man” energy from Jumbo, as his total disdain for Misawa combines with absolute brutality and a complete disregard for rules and honor, just interfering constantly and being over the top cruel. Poor Kobashi ate the worst of it, with Jumbo grinding him half to death, and Taue was just kind of along for the ride. Often the weak link in their matches, he pulled it out here, eating quite a few big moves and needing Jumbo to save him only occasionally, and with Jumbo blocking for him, he DOES ultimately get the win. The constant interference from both sides meant guys had to block for each other, which Misawa kept preventing until Jumbo finally just swallowed him up with a grapple- his larger size winning out after he’s finally able to avoid getting elbowed. The match was also clearly a showcase for Kobashi, who got to hit nearly all his big moves, do tons of selling, and be in the ring for most of the final stretch- he loses but again shows perseverance by eating all this offense before going down. Misawa, his senior, actually shows very little of his offense and mostly does strategy.

Rating: ****1/4 (Hot Take: These guys are all super good and can’t have a bad match with each other)

AGUILA vs. PIRATA MORGAN:
(WWF Shotgun, Feb. 28th 1998)
* It’s more of Aguila in WWF! This is to build him up as TAKA Michinoku’s opponent at WrestleMania XIV, and it brings in an actual luchador as a job guy (complete with “Jobber’s Entrance”)- Morgan is doing a pirate gimmick and is a short, squat guy. He’s in black & Aguila’s in white.

Aguila immediately make a blind charge and flips upside-down in the corner and gets decked, but manages a slingshot crossbody that looked a bit clunky, then a headscissors and another slingshot move as his usual style is “All Flipz”. An Orihara Moonsault keeps up the pace, but of course back in Pirata makes the immediate comeback, hitting a weird straightjacket-trip thing and trying to get a pin off of it, doing slow-motion stuff until hitting a tilt-a-whirl Ligerbomb! Aguila armdrags him off the top and hits a missile kick, then does a shitty spinning Hurricanrana for the pin at (3:53).

A really weak match, as they were having issues with athleticism, being oddly clunky. The big gaps between big moves meant that even impressive stuff like a moonsault to the floor & a tilt-a-whirl ligerbomb didn’t get reactions, never mind that the fans have no reason to know who either guy is. Aguila/Papi Chulo/Essa Rios never really got the “just do flips” stuff out of his system during his WWF career (to be fair, he was REALLY young) and he obviously didn’t become a bigger star.

Rating: *1/2 (just some basic big moves parsed together with clunky, slow stuff)

Oh man, we tease some of today’s wrestlers for horrible looks, but these guys take the cake. They look TERRIBLE- like jobbers in wannabe “star” gear.

SUPERSTAR BILLY GRAHAM & JIMMY VALIANT vs. THE ROCK & ROLL RPMS (Tommy Lane & Mike Davis):
(NWA Worldwide, Nov. 23rd 1985)
* This is a weird one- Graham is largely iconic just for his WWF run (taking place before & after this), and he’s teaming up with one of the Valiants against a pair of dudes doing a rip-off Rock & Roll Express thing. I’m vastly unfamiliar with almost everyone here (“oh, so Jimmy has a giant beard?”) aside from Graham- I had to look up the RPMs’ names. The flashy guys are coming down to “Bad To The Bone” and getting pretty wild cheers from the crowd- Graham’s in pink tie-dyed pants while Valiant’s in blue & black striped ones. One RPM is in white tights and the other grey-ish (this tape transfer sucks).

haha this is a total squash, as Valiant just tosses white-tights around and brings in Graham, who backdrops him and hits a Bearhug for the submission at (0:38).

Rating: DUD (the other dude didn’t even get in the ring!)

BRETT & “MAD DOG” BUZZ SAWYER vs. THE ROCK & ROLL RPMS (Tommy Lane & Mike Davis):
(NWA Saturday Night, July 20th 1985)
* A very skinny Jim Cornette, manager of the Midnight Express, is scouting this one for future opponents. Of course I know absolutely nothing about any of the four dudes in here. Brett is a generic-looking burly mulletted dude in red trunks, while the balding Buzz is in white & black trunks and looks to have ingested very much cocaines. The RPMs have the same look and very manly powder-blue tights, but one (Lane) has longer hair. Boy, they look pretty wimpy and skinny.

Brett does babyface stuff to send the RPMs flailing, but Davis rakes the eyes of Buzz (who is MUCH shorter), but Buzz fires back and hits all fours and holy crap his mannerisms are dead-on what Rick Steiner was doing later. Was Rick inspired by him? Buzz does a leaping headbutt to an outstretched arm, and keeps smiling weirdly and barking. Lane looks like a hapless boob and eats Brett’s forearm shot, and we’re back from break with Buzz slowly working over the arm and twisting Lane up in knots. Brett hits a Florida Jam to the arm of Davis but Davis weirdly immediately pops up and the RPMs work Brett over with some weak bullshit, but after a backbreaker Brett just O’Connor rolls Lane off the ropes at (8:49 shown). Lol why such an out-of-nowhere ending after this type of match?

The RPMs attack and dump Brett, but Buzz fights them off single-handedly and Brett comes in for a sunset flip for another three-count just to make sure, while Cornette on commentary writes off both teams as anywhere near the level of the Midnights. But then suddenly the MIDNIGHTS do in fact hit the ring, and they have an impromptu tag match (hilariously, Buzz & Eaton both just calmly go to their corners after starting a brawl). Brett hits that forearm a third time. Crockett goes NUTS on commentary for a Buzz/Eaton international spot (tbf, it’s very quick and good), but Eaton lands on Buzz attempting a fallaway slam off the top rope and Buzz lands on the tennis racket, leading to a big twitch-sell (lol, love that shit). The Midnights hit a horribly mis-timed double flying move to Buzz while Brett is apparently dead from missing a dropkick or whatever. This brings in the RPMs as babyfaces (??), along with Magnum TA and “The Raging Bull”.

This was an odd one- it looked like the RPMs were REALLY bad- just two unathletic, gawky guys doing awkward moves, so the match was 90% the Sawyers working them over easily and embarrassing them, but then we get a mini heat sequence and Brett just casually wins with a rollup. Brett seems like a perfectly acceptable Generic McWrestler guy (way too reliant on his good-looking forearm, like he was aware it was his only good thing and he hits it three separate times), but Buzz had some good energy and mannerisms. The match wasn’t great, as it was just the RPMs lying down and groaning, and their own bit didn’t look good. The Midnights/Sawyers “match” that lasted only sixty seconds was probably a better thing in all!

Rating: *1/2 (a really long extended squash)

MARTY JANNETTY vs. MR. HUGHES (w/ Harvey Whippleman):
(WWF Wrestling Challenge, July 18th 1993)
* Here’s a weird one from the summer of ’93, with Jannetty, the ex-IC Champion now kinda fluttering around, taking on the Undertaker’s current opponent. Jannetty’s in blue-ish tights and Hughes is in the usual.

Hughes powers Jannetty out of some single-legs, then Jannetty does his 360 sell trying a shoulderblock, but he manages to armdrag him a couple times, leading to a Hughes tantrum on the floor. They do a LONG tease with a test of strength, Hughes jawing with the fans and stalling repeatedly as the canned heat makes it seem like the fans are begging Marty not to engage. Marty immediately slaps on a wristlock while Heenan comes up with strategy (“If *I* was Marty Jannetty… well I’d call Dr. Kavorkian if I was Marty Jannetty–“), and keeps on it, even to the point of ignoring things like a Hughes punch. Marty uses speed to keep going, but Hughes finally grabs the hair and smashes him in the small of the back, working it through the break- Marty manages to push him into the post, but tries a headscissors on the floor and gets dropped on the guardrail. A pretty safe way to do that bump and it looked okay- Hughes follows with a delayed suplex as the pace is still SUPER slow- Marty takes a corner bump but dodges a charge and then manages to hit a facecrusher coming off the top, a BIG superkick, and a missile dropkick to bring the big man down. Marty hits a second missile kick for two, then flies all the way to the floor with a shot, and goes up a FOURTH time, but that’s the end, as he’s planted with a powerslam coming from the top and gets pinned at (9:28). Solid psychology- he can make comebacks based off of his speed and high-risk stuff, but eventually his luck runs out against such a durable, strong opponent.

The last bit of the match is actually pretty decent, as Jannetty whips out all the things he can muster to have the big man tumbling, and even Heenan puts the effort over, but Hughes is still so clunky and slow, meaning the first 75% of the match is just a plodding brawl and extended wristlock. Marty at this point was in the dreaded “El Matador Zone” where he’d lose competitive matches up and down the card until he was let go- he could go a bit in the ring, but had pretty much had his last great match.

Rating: *1/2 (bad for a while, then an okay ending)