MLW Underground TV Review – 04.28.2003

Last week on Underground TV… Steve Williams and P.J. Friedman defeated Jimmy Yang and Mike Sanders, and Simon Diamond and CW Anderson defeated Los Maximos to advance to the Global Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals (don’t ask about Hot Commodity)… We continue building the card for MLW Revolutions on May 9th at Tabu NightClub in Orlando, FL, including Satoshi Kojima vs. Vampiro for the MLW Heavyweight Title, Terry Funk vs. Steve Corino, The Finals of the Global Tournament, Jerry Lynn vs. Paul London, Mike Awesome vs. Masato Tanaka, and the debut of CM Punk (and more!)… We were treated to Steve Corino vs. Terry Funk vs. Dusty Rhodes from MLW King of Kings, where the Extreme Horsemen formed (at least in MLW lore).

The show opens with Raven’s promo from last week, calling out Vampiro and welcoming him to Raven’s “Clockwork Orange House of Fun.”

Joey Styles is our host from “The Manhattan Center” in New York City. We’re going to take a look at the two teams that advanced to the Finals of the Global Tag Team Championship Tournament, Super Crazy goes one-on-one with Fuego Guerrero, The Extreme Chairman La Parka vs 1000% Guapo Shocker, and the Hawaiian Hellraiser takes on the suicidal, homicidal, genocidal maniac Sabu.

Super Crazy vs. Fuego Guerrero:
As I’ve noted in earlier episodes, Fuego is a masked Amazing Red, and I have no idea why he’s working under the mask when he’s already all over the place on the Independent scene and enough of a draw on his own merit. “Fuego Guerrero” is Spanish for “Fire Warrior”, and Joey Styles acknowledges he goes by “Red” in the Northeast. Lockup and Fuego sends Super Crazy out of the ring with an arm drag. Crazy goes for a slam, but another arm drag sends him to the outside in frustration. Crazy rolls through a sunset flip and connects with a basement dropkick. We come back from a commercial with Fuego countering a powerbomb with a Tornado DDT for a near-fall. They blow a Code Red in spectacular fashion. Whip is reversed and Crazy lays Fuego out with a clothesline. Super Crazy goes from corner-to-corner with more clotheslines and plants Fuego with a brain buster for a two-count. Fuego surprises Crazy with a corkscrew enzuigiri and follows him to the floor with a corkscrew suicide plancha. Back inside, Fuego with a standing SSP for two. Super Crazy avoids a Swanton Bomb and counters a hurricanrana with a Liger Bomb for the three-count at 5:47 (trimmed considerably from 10-minutes). Other than the horrible Code Red spot, nothing looked bad, but it was a bunch of high impact moves with little selling, so mileage may vary.

Masato Tanaka and Mike Awesome are looking to rekindle their ECW rivalry and destroy each other, once and for all. We get some sloppy storyline shifts, as Styles announces Mike Awesome vs Jerry Lynn in an attempt to claim Lynn’s spot for #1 contender, but I could’ve sworn we’ve already established a match between Taiyo Kea and Sabu for the #1 contendership? Also, ISN’T VAMPIRO TECHNICALLY THE #1 CONTENDER IF HE CHALLENGES KOJIMA ON MAY 9th?!?! Insert an exploding head .gif here.

What is the issue between Raven and Vampiro? We’ll find out on May 9th! Joey Styles notes Vampiro might’ve suffered an injury recently working for CMLL, but he’s still looking to make his appearance and challenge Satoshi Kojima for the MLW Heavyweight Title. “Change (In The House of Flies)” by Deftones plays in the background.

“Earlier This Week…” Steve Corino is on the road and dials up C.W. Anderson on his CAR PHONE. He wanted to give Terry Funk a taste of how the elite live, driving around a suburban neighborhood. The Extreme Horsemen don’t have to milk cows and collect eggs from chickens like common folk. OK, I’m not going to dunk on Corino too much, because he’s easily one of the best promos in the promotion, and he’s only got so much material to work with as we stretch for time until the next taping, but come on… common people living on farms, milking cows and collecting eggs? In 2003? Maybe he was just being a goof about it, but he cut the promo with 100% sincerity. No issues with the delivery, it was all smooth off the tongue, but man I had to shake my head a few times.

BREAKING NEWS: Fuego Guerrero has challenged Super Crazy to a rematch, and next week, we’ll get that rematch, but the MLW brass has added a surprise opponent to make it a Triple Threat Match. Who is that third man going to be? Probably Christopher Daniels (I’m kidding, I haven’t checked). More licensed music alert: “Calm Like a Bomb” by Rage Against the Machine is used in the background of this segment.

“Earlier This Week…” Steve Williams and P.J. Friedman are working out in the ring, and you can tell it’s a work, because Williams isn’t stiffing the crap out of Friedman. I’m just kidding, of course. Based on the look of the interior, this was taped at MLW King of Kings. Williams struggles getting “MLW GTC Tag Team Champions” off his lips and basically admits to being gassed just doing some warm-ups with Friedman. No one ever accused Williams of being a great promo.

Who attacked the Maximos?! Was it the Samoan Island Tribe? Simon Diamond and CW Anderson? Or the 2002 Denver Broncos? We’ll find out on… say it with me… MAY 9th!

La Parka vs. Shocker:
It’s kind of… um… shocking, to see La Parka being positioned as one of the more important talents on the MLW roster, featured on all their taped shows and being part of one of the most heavily advertised matches at their upcoming event in Orlando. I have zero knowledge on Shocker (sorry, I’ve let everyone down), but it looks like he was at least a CMLL mainstay around this time, based on his CageMatch.net listings. La Parka offers a hand and gives Shocker a slap across the face. If he’s the #1 Rudo in Mexico, why accept a handshake? They trade arm drags and leg sweeps ending up in a stand-off. They trade shoves and Shocker boots La Parka out of the ring. Shocker teases a dive but ends up posing in the ring. La Parka baits Shocker out and catches him sliding into the ring with a knee to the face.

We return from the break, cutting ahead in the action to La Parka hitting a flying senton for a two-count. La Parka whips out his chair, but he swings and misses, allowing Shocker to recover and dropkick the chair into La Parka’s face. Styles explains that since La Parka introduced the chair, it’s fine… and that theory is flushed as Shocker goes for a tope suicida but La Parka counters with a chair shot to the head. He might only be 100% guapo after that. Back inside, La Parka with a Russian leg sweep. Shocker gets the boot up to counter a flying double stomp and hits La Parka with a sit-out driver. Shocker with a pair of running sentons for a near-fall. La Parka counters a flying-whatever with a dropkick to the chest for a two-count. La Parka with a missile dropkick for another two-count. Shocker plays possum, straddles La Parka across the top turnbuckle and takes him down with a super-plex. Whip to the corner, Shocker charges in with a clothesline and immediately follows with a running bulldog for two. Shocker with a la magistral cradle for two. Whip to the corner and Shocker buries a shoulder into the midsection. He follows up with a Bronco Buster. La Parka brings up the boot to counter a second attempt and spins Shocker out with a hair mare. La Parka with a corkscrew moonsault and the referee with a questionably quick three-count at 9:15 (shown). The finish came out of nowhere and the use of the chair was kinda meh (mostly for Styles’ terrible cover-up on PBP), but I was enjoying everything else, with some decent selling and reasonably done highspots mixed in with all the near-falls.

We continue to over-book things for the sake of drumming up interest, as Joey Styles announces the winner of Mike Awesome vs. Jerry Lynn on next week’s episode of Underground TV must defend their #1 contender’s title against their scheduled opponent at Revolutions (either Awesome defending the honor against Masato Tanaka, or Jerry Lynn against Paul London). The winner of THAT challenges for the MLW Title on June 10th in Ft. Lauderdale. So now we’re booking contender’s to defend their contendership against non-contenders. Maybe Tony Khan was taking notes at the time. Playing in the background; the instrumental of “Fight Music” by D12.

Simon Diamond and C.W. Anderson are standing by to address their opponents in the Global Tournament Finals. They admit that PJ Friedman is a “blue-chipper”, but they have experience on their sides. Diamond comments that he was trained by the Gracie’s in Jiu-Jitsu (possibly a shoot, not a whole lot of info on Friedman is out there), as well as by Johnny Rodz (legitimate). Why are these guys doing a better job putting Friedman over than FRIEDMAN AND WILLIAMS? Anderson mumbles about his illegitimate claims to being a member of the Anderson family.

Terry Funk with a promo! I don’t have every second of each episode memorized, but this might be the first fresh content from Funk since Underground’s premiere. He laughs off Corino’s claims to being a God. He doesn’t consider himself a legend, just an ornery old-bastard. Corino won’t just shove him aside and embarrass him before moving onto the next opponent. He’s going to teach Corino a lesson in the ring, and he’s going to do it with wrestling. He can use a chair as well as the next guy, but he won’t resort to that on May 9th.

Taiyo Kea vs. Sabu (w/ Bill Alfonso):
This week’s Underground Main Event, and who knows if they’re going to alter history again about this being a match to determine a challenger for Satoshi Kojima (or at the time of the event, the challenger for the winner of the Kojima/Lynn match for the vacated championship). Styles talks about the wars between the original Sheik and King Curtis Iaukea (Taiyo Kea’s “uncle”). Kea has new ring gear and shaved head since his appearance on the first episode of Underground. Sabu comes out to “Little Crazy” by Fight.

Both men attempt leg picks but it’s a stalemate. Lockup and Sabu with a roll-up into a leg-lock. We come back from the commercial break with Sabu out on the floor. Sabu side-steps a plancha and dumps Kea over the guardrail. If you don’t know what to expect next, you haven’t watched a Sabu match before. He rolls into the ring, sets up a chair, and springboards off the chair and top rope to dive onto Kea in the crowd. Alfonso assists in setting up a table, but the thing doesn’t want to cooperate. Kea fights his way back to ringside, but is too slow climbing the ropes and Sabu brings him down with a super-sized DDT for a near-fall. Sabu launches a chair into the face of Kea and launches himself into the corner with a jumping heel kick for two. Kea counters the triple-jump moonsault, dropping Sabu face-first across the chair. Sabu catches the chair and Kea knocks it into his face with a Super-Kick. Kea with a sit-out slam and snap suplex for a pair of two-counts. Sabu cuts off another trip to the top and takes Kea down with a hurricanrana. They take it to the outside again, with Sabu putting Kea through the table with a flying leg drop. Back in the ring, Sabu with the triple-jump moonsault, but it only gets a two-count. Kea out of nowhere with a hurricanrana. He fights the chair out of Sabu’s hands and connects with a jumping heel kick to the back of the head. Alfonso hops on the apron to draw Kea’s attention, allowing Sabu to surprise him with a chair to the face. Alfonso gets involved in a needlessly complicated and unsatisfying spot in the corner. Sabu’s attempt to wear down Kea with a camel clutch backfires, as Kea pops up immediately and hits a TKO before finishing with the H-5-0 (torture rack position into a neck breaker) at 11:15 (shown). If you like Sabu matches, this is in your ballpark. No blown spots (none shown, at least), which is always a positive, but when the crowd stops reacting to all the chair shots, you know you’ve dug into that bag of tricks way too much.

Raven is hanging around in the same room he’s been in for the last couple of weeks. At least move him around the building to make it seem like you didn’t tape these all in the same 5-minute window. He accuses Vampiro of being a martyr. If he wants to be put on a cross, he’ll do it to him like he’s done it in the past, name-dropping the incident with the Sandman.

Final Thoughts: It’s hard to maintain interest with a bunch of matches that are just time-filler, but they’re doing the best they can to establish what names we should be invested in and what’s here to pad out the run time of the program. I’m a little surprised by the lack of ANY footage of Satoshi Kojima this week. Even if you want to argue how little time you have to work with, you can always squeeze a 60-second hype package into the show. As far as quality in-ring action, we got three matches that each hit differently for me, with La Parka vs Shocker being the best of the three (and one with actual selling). We’re edging closer to MLW Revolutions, and hopefully we can get through next week without more convoluted nonsense about the status of the #1 contender.