MLW Underground TV Review – 04.14.2003

Last week on Underground TV… Major League Wrestling premieres on late-night regional sports cable networks and throws a bunch of stuff at the viewers! Steve Corino is presented as the top heel in the company and calls out Terry Funk… Satoshi Kojima is the new Heavyweight Champion, and he’s just happy to be here… We had the announcement of the Global Tag Team Championship Tournament, which I guarantee will be made up of matches already in the can, but we’ll pretend it’s all happening live… Raven set a picture of Vampiro on fire… Joey Styles only made 2 or 3 cheap swipes at WWE and Sports Entertainment.

We open with the highlights of Steve Corino, Simon Diamond, and C.W. Anderson forming the Extreme Horsemen at King of Kings, putting a beating on Terry Funk and Dusty Rhodes. I should note that they’re working around the footage of the entire match here, because Dusty Rhodes and Funk eventually clear the ring and goof around. Rhodes isn’t someone associated with the company going forward, so it’s for the best. We cut to a promo from the despicable trio, with Corino sporting a throwback Philadelphia Phillies jersey. Corino brags about putting an end to the legacy of Rhodes and Funk. Diamond says people might think they have a bad attitude, but they’re just better than everyone. I can see why Diamond didn’t advance further than mid-card filler anywhere else with promo skills like that.

Joey Styles welcomes us from “The Manhattan Center”, even though these wrap around segments were taped at least 6 months since they taped from there. He runs down some of what has gone down in the company, including the moody arrival of Raven, the formation of the Extreme Horsemen, and teases the reveal of the brackets for the Global Tag Team Championship Tournament.

“Dr. Death” Steve Williams & P.J. Friedman vs. Afterburn & Eric Adams:
Unless otherwise noted, all matches on tonight’s broadcast are taped from the Manhattan Center on September 26th, 2002. Is there a more mid Indy name than “Afterburn?” Interesting tidbit: The man working under the Afterburn name would play the Zombie in WWE’s ECW (and sadly passed away in 2015 at the age of 38). Williams is doing the mentor gimmick for young P.J. Friedman, who a few years later spent some time in NXT as “James Bronson.” Even this late in his career, I’m always hoping to see Williams toss dudes around, and with both Williams and Friedman announced last week as names to look out for in the Global Tournament, we should expect to see more of them in the near future. We’re Joined in Progress. Friedman and Afterburn with some chain wrestling (and obvious chatter) that Friedman gets the better of. Whip and Friedman with a big clothesline, followed by a Super-Kick. Sorry, someone with Friedman’s look and build shouldn’t be doing Super-Kicks. We come back from break with an obvious cut in the match, as Williams can’t get Adams up for a Powerbomb and settles for a short-clothesline. Williams with the Doctor Bomb on the second try, but Afterburn saves. Friedman dumps Afterburn on his head and Dr. Death puts Adams away with an angled back suplex at a heavily clipped 2:03. I went to watch the full match on the Reload home video release, and the match didn’t make the cut, so I’m just going to assume it was complete trash and this was their best chance at salvaging the footage for the sake of pushing Williams and Friedman.

The Global Tag Team Championship Brackets are announced: Mike Sanders and Jimmy Yang take on Dr. Death and P.J. Friedman, and The Extreme Horsemen’s Simon Diamond and C.W. Anderson face Los Maximos. The Samoan Island Tribe, who threw their names in the hat, were snubbed, and they vow revenge. Maybe if you were present at either Genesis, Reload, or King of Kings, you wouldn’t be in this situation.

Joey Styles hypes the arrival of Paul London, scheduled to face Jerry Lynn on May 9th at Tabu NightClub in Orlando, FL. London was definitely on my radar in 2003, and this was a debut I was hyped for. Putting him in the ring with Jerry Lynn almost guarantees a solid match.

Fuego Guerrero is standing by, a little more relaxed in his delivery than he was on last week’s episodes. He talks about Keiichi Yamada revolutionizing professional wrestling as Jushin “Thunder” Liger, and wants to make some changes to MLW by bringing his own brand of innovation. Much better promo this time around. Still don’t know why he’s not working as Amazing Red.

We’ve got another debut to hype for the upcoming card on May 9th: Masato Tanaka! He’s coming to MLW to get a piece of his toughest rival, former ECW Heavyweight Champion, THE GLADIATOR, MIKE AWESOME.

More highlights from Sabu vs. La Parka from “King of Kings”. A.k.a “The Match Too Violent for TV.” They rematch at MLW Revolutions, you know the date by now. Bill Alfonso is standing by with comments. He admits La Parka is tough, but he’s not the king of hardcore like Sabu. He blows his whistle to annoy the viewer, but La Parka shows up, still bloodied (I’m assuming this was taped at King of Kings), and attacks Alfonso, smashing him up with a trash can. He screams in Spanish, and the jist is he wants Saby in a Mexican Massacre Match. I wonder how much that differs from a typical Hardcore Match?

NEXT WEEK ON UNDERGROUND TV! First Round Tournament action as C.W. Anderson and Simon Diamond face Joel and Jose Maximo.

Terry Funk vs. Chris Candido (w/ Tammy Sytch):
Of all the names associated with MLW, I forget Candido and Sytch were there for at least one taping. I know they did it in WCW and it made some sense there (as much sense as 2000 WCW can make), but I don’t get Candido still wearing the same ring tights as Funk here. I’m more surprised to see Sytch out there than anything, I just assumed she settled into her online website business (before the “Sunny Side Up” video… and before OnlyFans. JESUS… TAMMY, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU GONE THE ROUTE OF MATURE AUDIENCE CONTENT?!) Lockup to the corner and we get a clean break. Funk busts out a snap arm drag and gives Candido a slap across the face to fire him up. Funk continues to stay one step ahead, countering everything Candido attempts and gets the better of some mat wrestling. Candido finally takes a shot at Funk in the ropes instead of keeping it clean and lays into him with chops.

Candido takes the action to the floor, where Funk is rudely introduced into a ringside table. Funk has bladed already. YAY. Candido targets the cut, knocking Funk over the security barricade. Sytch gets involved, choking Funk with a towel while Candido distracts the referee. When rules are barely followed, I don’t get the concept of “behind the referee’s back” spots. Funk digs deep to counter a suplex, taking Candido over the top rope and to the floor. Funk sends Candido into the crowd and gives him a piledriver on the carpeted floor. Back in the ring, Funk hits a DDT. Candido tries to retreat, only to get dumped on his head.

We come back from a commercial, and Candido brings a LADDER into the ring. I don’t understand it either. Funk fights Candido off the top rope with headbutts and we cut ahead in the action with Funk dropping the ladder across Candido. Funk goes for the spinning toe hold, but Candido counters. He plants Funk with a delayed suplex and comes off the top with a diving headbutt for a near-fall. Candido climbs the rickety ladder and misses a second headbutt. Funk with the comeback, but in comes Sytch to hit Funk with a low blow. Funk retaliates by hitting her with a DDT and biting her on her exposed buttocks, leaving blood all over her. Candido saves her from a piledriver, smacking Funk across the back with a chair. Hangman’s neck breaker from Candido. He sets up a bunch of chairs for a coup de grace, but Funk wakes up from being slapped around and hits a sloppy neck breaker across the chairs to barely any reaction. Spinning toe hold is applied but Candido fights free. Candido counters another attempt with a small package, but Funk counters that to secure the three-count at 15:28 (shown). A disgruntled Candido pops up and immediately hits Funk with a snap piledriver.

This was OK at times, but they were going for some kind of epic brawl, but the spots with the weapons didn’t tell any kind of story, the crowd barely reacted to most of them, and then the involvement with Sytch… yikes. It’s hard enough to defend man-on-woman violence, especially when the big spot is showing the women with their skirts lifted and exposed for the world, but then the biting spot was something I didn’t need, under any circumstance, at any point of time in my years of being a fan. Not even as a teenager would that have done it for me. For the record, the TV version of the biting is covered up, but there’s a home video version available that doesn’t censor anything. I didn’t expect to have this much to talk about for such a nothing match in the big picture of what storylines MLW was trying to push at the time. I’m not giving out stars as a regular means of rating matches, unless it’s REALLY bad or stands out as more than a completely basic effort, but from my tone, I think you know where this one lands without it.

BREAKING NEWS: CM Punk has signed with MLW, and debuts on May 9th! Joey Styles calls him an obnoxious punk.

Steve Corino is standing by to hype his match with Terry Funk on May 9th. That card is looking alright, assuming you’re OK with a guy like Corino getting pushed to the top of the promotion. He cuts pretty much the same promo as last week, comparing accolades and how he’s done everything quicker and better. He says it eats Funk up inside that he’s a man that was trained by his brother (Dory), a brother that was better than he (Terry) was. He promises to end Funk’s 38-year career in Orlando.

MORE BREAKING NEWS: Sabu has accepted La Parka’s challenge for a Mexican Massacre Match. As long as the deposit clears.

MLW Heavyweight Championship Match:
Jerry Lynn vs. Satoshi Kojima:
The final match of the broadcast, and the Main Event of MLW Reload. We’ve got some creative television production here. As we established last week, matches from a tournament to crown the first Champion were used to fill the hour, but also acknowledged Satoshi Kojima as the Champion mid-show (oh, sorry… SPOILERS!). Now the best part… the tournament concluded at MLW Genesis, with Shane Douglas taking the title, only to throw it down in a pathetic attempt to capture lightning in a bottle twice, so now we’re trying to fill that void here, but with no acknowledgement of Shane Douglas’s reign or involvement in the company. Styles says a “lottery” decided on Lynn and Kojima competing for the title, while Sabu and Taiyo Kea were relegated to fighting in a #1 contender’s match.

Styles does a great job putting over Kojima, his background, and his style of wrestling. Lockup and they fight for control, trading hammerlocks and eventually ending up on their feet in a neutral position. Kojima with a side headlock and shoulder block. Lynn catches Kojima off the ropes with a hip toss, setting up a sequence of misses until we’re back at square one. We cut ahead in the action, with Lynn unloading on Kojima in the corner with rights and chops. Lynn with three clotheslines and inverted DDT for a near-fall. Whip to the corner is reversed and Kojima charges in with a clothesline. Kojima with a jumping forearm in the corner, followed by a flying elbow drop for a two-count. Kojima rips off the elbow pad. Lynn ducks a lariat and hits a release German suplex for two. Kojima meets a boot in the corner and Lynn jumps off the second rope with a tornado DDT for another two-count. Kojima blocks a suplex, fights out of a German suplex and spikes Lynn with a sit-out spine-buster for two. Lynn blocks a whip and plants Kojima with a fireman’s carry face-buster for two. Kojima counters the cradle piledriver attempt and connects with a Michinoku Driver for two. Kojima comes off the ropes and takes Lynn’s head off with a lariat for the three-count and MLW Heavyweight Championship at 7:46 (shown). Post-match, we see Taiyo Kea is standing by the entrance, teasing a match I don’t think we ever get. About 5-minutes was cut, but I’m wishing we got to see this match in its entirety instead of that Funk/Candido match that preceded it. The high-number of kick-outs and near-falls might be a turn-off, but they were working hard and safe, making the most out of what they executed

Raven is standing by to talk about Vampiro. He brings up the Deadpool and Insane Clown Posse. Vampiro has mentioned his name in unflattering ways, which means he’s either trying to get his attention because he has a problem with him, or he’s trying to get his attention because he needs his help. Whichever one it is, he’s glad to help him out. Quoth the Raven, nevermore. BREAKING NEWS: Raven is a hell of a promo.

Final Thoughts: A mixed bag show for me this week. We’ve got three more weeks of TV to fill until we get to Revolutions, so we’re going to dig deep into the well to fill out each show. I found it odd they would show the Kojima/Lynn title match after featuring Kojima last week in a hype video announcing him as the MLW Heavyweight Champion. Terry Funk is positioned as a top babyface feuding with Steve Corino, so we get to watch his match with Chris Candido, who is not part of the future plans of MLW. The card for Revolutions is coming together, with fresh names like Paul London and CM Punk advertised to appear to go along with Funk vs. Corino, Masato Tanaka vs. Mike Awesome, and La Parka vs. Sabu (among other matches). Next week we “kick off” the Global Tag Team Championship Tournament, and probably a lengthy promo from Corino.