Saturday Night’s Main Event (May 27th 1989- All Dream Matches!)

SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT:
(May 27th 1989)
* Yes, I’ve decided to review another entire wrestling show! And this one is SATURDAY NIGHT’S MAIN EVENT! Visible on YouTube! With a gloriously 1980s opening! So much synthesizer! Vince McMahon & Jesse Ventura are our hosts, and Vince runs down the card: THREE Championship matches- Hulk Hogan defends the WWF Title against the Big Boss Man in a STEEL CAGE MATCH (with one of the all-time spots of the 1980s), “Ravishing” Rick Rude defends his IC Title against “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan (now KING of the WWF!), and Demolition defend the Tag Titles against the Brain Busters! Then Randy Savage tries to get back into title contention with a match against Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart!

SNME as a whole was devoted to PPV-tier matches for the most part, with some “filler” mixed in that would ideally by the main event of a weekly TV program like Superstars or Prime Time Wrestling- where it’s midcarders fighting. But entire shows of big matches was a true rarity back then, making shows like this come off as absolutely nuts. You did NOT see Hogan in cage matches on any of the normal TV shows, let me tell you. As this occupied the slot typically given to Saturday Night Live, they front-loaded the show with good stuff and then put the weaker matches on the back end. Everyone typically gets hype promos to set up the matches, as well as cool chyrons in this fancy 1980s screen.

We’re about two months removed from WrestleMania V, to set the stage. The belt-holders are thus giving their first major defenses.

INTERCONTINENTAL TITLE:
“RAVISHING” RICK RUDE (w/ Bobby Heenan) vs. KING “HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN:
* A big defense for Rude- Duggan was a heavily-pushed, very protected midcarder at this point, and had recently defeated Haku to win the crown of “King” of the WWF. This had previously been a heel trophy (Harley Race & Haku were the previous Kings), and the cross-eyed, tongue-wagging Duggan was a deliberately incongruous type to swing around that much gold and fancy attire. Rude had just beaten the Warrior at WrestleMania V with the famous “Heenan trips Warrior during a suplex into the ring, and holds his foot down while he’s pinned”. Mean Gene admonishes Heenan’s rule-breaking, but Bobby blows it off “I didn’t break Rule Number One” , Rude: “Just win, baby!”). Duggan, meanwhile, points out he has one eye on Heenan, and one eye on the flag (okay, that’s pretty good), but declares Rude “looks a bit pink to me, if you know what I mean”. Rude’s wearing yellow tights with his own face on his ass, and the IC Title on the front- Duggan’s in the usual blue, and gets the “King” music that Race used, and later went to Jerry Lawler.

Duggan does Batman poses with the cape and stomps around like an idiot, getting the crowd into a “USA!” chant- Rude eats a massive wind-up punch. Duggan clotheslines Rude to the apron and suplexes him back in and clotheslines the begeezus out of him, leaving Rude face-planting so Duggan can pose. The crowd is way into that while Ventura declares Rude MUST change this match around “because right now it’s a brawl, and that fits Jim Duggan’s style!”. Ventura does Monsoon-isms over Duggan’s cover and Rude gets his boot up in the corner and flying axehandles Duggan down, but when he tries to capitalize, Duggan inverted atomic drops him and you don’t have to ask Rude to sell THAT. Rude writhes as Duggan throws soupbone fists and piledrives him, and barely gets his foot on the ropes at “two” as HAKU (another Heenan guy, remember) comes down to distract Duggan.

Back from break with Haku gone, but Rude uses the delay to fire back with a ton of shots for two- Duggan fights up from a chinlock but Rude blasts him with a knee, and hits a flying fistdrop that slides himself right into the camera, where he makes kissyfaces to the disgust of Vince. But he makes the mistake of slamming Duggan’s head into the turnbuckle (“Oh I think that’s the wrong place to hit Duggan”: Jess) and CUE THE NO-SELLING. The crowd gets behind Duggan as he walks the ropes and taunts Rude with the “arms on his hips” pose, then Rude FLIES onto his ass off a back bodydrop and the Three Point Stance sees him take a header to the floor. Hebner’s theatrical count telegraphs the finish as Rude is rapidly Counted Out at (7:21 shown) as the crowd, because it’s 1989, CELEBRATES because it means Duggan won, even if no title changes hands.

Actually a very good “pinball” match- Rude is the perfect opponent for someone like Duggan, who is limited but has boatloads of charisma and good strikes, as Rude can bounce around all over the place and sell big, but is also devious and big enough to justify these reversal comebacks. The finish was solid- even if it’s a Fuck Finish it’s Duggan’s fault for blasting Rude so close to the ropes, and there was no way Rude was getting back in- Heenan even seemed to WANT him back in but the fast count meant he was screwed after that bump.

Rating: **1/2 (great bumping from Rude and even Duggan put his all into it- short by today’s standards but perfect for TV)

It’s time for one of modern wrestling’s oldest tricks: Jobbing out the tag guy to put over a top star!

“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE (w/ Sensational Sherri) vs. JIM “THE ANVIL” NEIDHART:
* It’s Macho Man’s first big match after losing the Title! He’s demanded a rematch with Hogan, and has dumped Miss Elizabeth as a traitor and hooked up with the violent, unladylike polar opposite of Liz, the evil Sherri (“Beautiful, gorgeous and lovely at the same time OOH YEAH! And she knows her place, too!”)- a woman so good at her job that Macho can’t get cheered no matter HOW awesome he is. And who better to do the job against him than one half of a babyface tag team? This, even then, was a pretty solid way to put over an upper-mid dude- feed him someone who can eat a loss and it’s not so bad since it’s not his type of match. During the promos, Neidhart frequently interrupts Mean Gene by chuckling like a cokehead and declares his hatred of Savage for how he treated Elizabeth. Savage is in all neon green, while Neidhart’s in the usual.

Savage of course bails to start and poses on the top rope to be an asshole and play mind games while Jesse declares Hogan is scared of Savage and that’s why he’s not the automatic #1 contender, hilariously saying Hogan won off a fluke (after no-selling Savage’s FINISHER, mind you). Savage’s first real move is of course Sherri Cheating, as she grabs Anvil’s leg during a lockup on the ropes, but Anvil quickly overpowers Macho and starts beating on him, hitting an abdominal stretch as even Savage’s SELLING is done with perfect motion. Savage goes to the eyes and hits a kneesmash into a falling clothesline, then kicks him over to Sherri and chokes him so the ref admonishing him allows SHERRI to get her licks in. I love how Savage is facing a total midcarder but cheats at every available opportunity.

Jesse declares Savage is deadlier than ever with the former Ladies Champion instead of “that albatross across his neck” and the flying axehandle hits but Savage goes FLYING off on the kickout! Anvil falls on him from a slam but takes a boot or two, only to make a perfect comeback with a shouldercheck and catching Savage’s charge with a big slingshot shoulderblock from the apron- great stuff. Ventura marks out for his agility as Anvil levels Macho with shoulderblocks and a clothesline (after Savage starts evading him), then Savage is dropkicked to the floor, again impressing Jesse. lol, one cameraman is spotted getting into position for an AEW-esque shot of Sherri from beneath when the director switches shots, and Anvil lands another dropkick on the floor after catching Savage attempting to sneak up on him. Savage eats a powerslam for two and ends up in Andre Position, Sherri getting him out so he dodges and Anvil hits the floor on a charge- the Flying Axehandle to the floor sets up the Flying Elbow in the ring and Anvil’s done at (5:56)- sharp win for Savage.

VERY succinct, yet packed little match, as it does exactly what it sets out to do- prove that the new manager Sherri is an asset. Twice she directly interferes with Anvil, and then she actively helps Savage out when he’s tied in the ropes, leading straight to the finish. Thus Established: fighting Savage is now like fighting two people at once. Anvil was put over as no slouch, either, as he repeatedly overpowers Savage, has Savage bounce around for him, and even outsmarts him a couple of times by catching him trying to sneak shots in. He doesn’t quite “have the win” as Randy kicks out of everything Anvil can throw at him (put over by Jesse), but he threw everything he had and scored some great comebacks (loved him going to the apron but knocking Savage back to prepare the slingshot move). But it’s not enough and Macho picks up the emphatic win.

Rating: **3/4 (even better than the first match, and shorter!)

WWF WORLD TITLE:
STEEL CAGE MATCH:
HULK HOGAN vs. THE BIG BOSS MAN (w/ Slick):
* It’s the famous cage match, and the final payoff of the “Mega Powers vs. Twin Towers” angle, as Hogan is now World Champion again but has to deal with the Boss Man (almost as tall as Hogan and much fatter and heavier- remember that) one last time. Boss Man & Ventura are so big that Slick finally doesn’t have to stoop or stand in the back during the interview, and the Slickster promises a “BIIIIIIIIIIIG surprise!”. And that surprise is ZEUS, straight out of “No Holds Barred” (the recently-released “so bad it’s good” masterpiece). Freshly-crowned 2-time champion Hulk Hogan is, shall we say, over. And he has a face-off with Zeus to set off the next big program- he does the Hogan Point, but Zeus just kicks him in the chest and bludgeons him down with the double-arm club (which we just saw in the clip from NHB- CONTINUITY!). Zeus leaves Hogan laying and walks away like he’s a piece of shit, and Hogan is FUCKED. It’d be perfect booking (Boss Man in a cage is challenge enough, but NOW?) if Zeus had anything resembling ability.

Hogan hasn’t moved since the commercial break and so Boss Man just boots the cage door open and hauls his carcass into the ring- Hogan claws at the ropes to stay vertical but Boss Man just rips his shirt off and chokes him with it. Hogan gets his ass kicked and goes into the corner while Ventura points out how horrible and difficult cage matches are (“NOBODY walks out of these matches unscathed!”), but Hogan reverses a corner whip and clotheslines him for our first Hulk Up! Hogan makes sure to look at the fans which quick glances to bring them in, and throws right hands and rakes Boss Man’s face when he resists going into the cage (“See, now this is right down Hogan’s alley because now he can cheat like crazy!”), then hits the Big Boot! Boss Man bludgeons him to stop a climb and of course his shirt is already open down to his belly-button. Boss Man scores a slam & splash, but can’t make the door, but Hogan makes a goofy leap into a spinebuster. Boss Man talks shit and climbs up and over, getting halfway down the side (!) before Hogan finally darts his hands through the bars and throttles him. This “lifts Boss Man up” so he goes up top, and we have our all-timer signature spot: SUPERPLEX OFF THE TOP OF THE CAGE!

The crowd LEAPS to their feet as minds are blown all over. I can’t tell you how huge this would have been for the time- never mind that both guys are ENORMOUS and that’s smashing about 500 lbs. of humanity into the canvas. Wisely, it’s only 3 minutes into the match, as nobody has time to get tired or sweaty, or be in a position to screw this one up. Better still, both guys sell the deadly impact for two solid minutes- they put it over even bigger with Hebner coming in to check on them after 30 seconds has gone by, dropping their hands twice and starting a “10” count. And of course there’s no signs of life at all until Hogan bolts upright at “8” (attaboy!) and that counts as okay, but Boss Man recovers and halts his scramble to the door. Hogan rakes the eyes and they start brawling again, but he eats a clothesline and Slick dramatically throws a chain to Boss Man over the cage (oh yeah- let the cheap seats see it!) and Hogan gets choked. Hogan gags on the mat while Boss Man walks off all stiffly, still selling the back. Hogan is agonized, but manages to fire back with rights until they both smash each other into the cage and collapse in a heap.

They both recover at once, Hogan smashing Boss Man into the turnbuckles and then FINDS THE CHAIN, making sure to dangle it, spin around so all the fans can see it, and dramatically wrap it around his fist so he can blast Boss Man down with one punch. Jesse: “Hulk Hogan is gonna stoop to THIS LEVEL? In front of ALL his Hulkamaniacs?”. Boss Man goes down again, then Hogan rams him against the cage three times while he’s busted open and Drops The Leg for his triumph… but in comes SLICK, grabbing Hogan’s leg. Hogan just gestures to him, boots him down, then drops a climbing Boss Man balls-first down onto the top rope (perfect ramrod-straight selling by Boss Man, like he’s in utter shock), punches Slick in the face, then uses Boss Man’s handcuffs to cuff him to the top rope, preventing him from escaping through the door. Hogan starts his climb, but Slick recovers and gets his key, and we’re in a RACE- Hogan climbing vs. Slick uncuffing the Boss Man! And Hogan makes the dramatic leap down at (10:01) to retain the Title, leaving the heels laying when he smashes Boss Man into the cage on the floor and gives Slick an ass-kicking in the ring to pay off the whole “Twin Towers” angle for good!

Oh yeah, that’s the good stuff. The whole match is built around that one signature spot, and it’s all in the first three minutes, with the rest being the aftermath- a very odd time for a match’s “peak” but it fits the event, as they spend the rest of the match selling it (thus justifying “both guys are dead” selling when a match only runs 10 minutes)- Boss Man never looks healthy again, as even when he takes the lead he’s all still and holding his back in pain. And it’s sold HUGE in the moment, both guys dead for a whole minute and only THEN does Hebner check for signs of life, getting none until it’s milked to the peak. This is also a showcase of the things Hogan was great at- nobody mistakes him for a technician, but nobody plays to the cheap seats like he does, doing things like making sure to look at the fans for reassurance before throwing a comeback, or dramatically gesturing to the weapon he’s about to use in the biggest way possible (many guys would just grab the weapon and use it- Hogan makes sure to bring the fans in and build anticipation with this “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH LOOK WHAT I HAVE!” so they get even more into it). Great heel boobery by Slick, too, going flying into the cage and collapsing in a heap on the floor.

Rating: **** (just an amazing bit of TV- Hogan eating a beating before the match so it’s extra-unfair, hitting the biggest move possible to come back, both guys selling death, then a dramatic struggle where Boss Man cheats but has his own weapons used against him and his manager pummeled so Hogan can triumph)

WWF WORLD TAG TEAM TITLES:
DEMOLITION (Ax & Smash) vs. THE BRAIN BUSTERS (Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson, w/ Bobby Heenan):
* Half of the Four Horsemen had quit the NWA in 1988 and were immediately snapped up and pushed heavily by the WWF, as they’d been around since Oct. ’88 and were now getting a Title shot. Arn & Tully were ridiculously out of place in the roided, glitzy world of the WWF, which actually kind of made them stand out as unique for the time- just a couplea dudes in red trunks.

Smash starts off with Tully, shoving him off- Tully stops short of running into a boot, but gets lured in and eats a clothesline. He ends up in a bearhug but Heenan covers for Arn to run in, but both Busters take clotheslines. Ax hits the Jumping Demolition Axehandles on Arn and back elbows him, then slams him while Jesse repeatedly puts over Demolition being “the best” as they’re the champs, and admonishing the Busters attempting to match power and brawling with the big guys. Arn goes to the eyes but pauses before running into Smash, earning him a clothesline to the back of the head and the Demo spot where they hold a guy on the top rope and smash the shit out of him- it’s amazing how all Busters matches are them getting annihilated for the first half. Smash gets provoked by Tully’s knee, but no-sells Arn’s suplex and all four hit the ring so the Busters take bodyslams and escape. Ax completely ignores Tully’s punches as Jesse marvels at Demolition’s tag team tactics and now easily they’re handling the Busters.

Ax runs into Tully’s knees in the corner but catches him in a bearhug, smashes him into the corner, then whips him over the top and knocks him off hte apron, where Smash press-slams him into the ring, where Ax clotheslines him over the top and onto Heenan! Jesus christ. Bobby freaks and the Busters calm him down during the break and we’re back with everyone rested (clever), Ax landing a neckvice, suggesting to the fans he “BREAK IT!?”, but when Smash takes over, Arn lures Ax into the ring so he can take out Smash’s knee. Arn boots him, Tully comes off the top, Smash gets necked on the top rope, and the Double-A Spinebuster flattens Smash for two! Smash launches him off the count, but Tully does a dance to provoke Ax and the Busters cheat and also carefully block Smash from getting the tag with their bodies. Smash gets nailed off the apron and fires back on Arn, but it’s a double KO off mutual right hands! Smash nearly makes the tag, but while Arn’s holding him back Tully pulls Ax off the apron and Arn adds a punch, drawing in Ax for an ass-kicking. Everyone fights and Ax shoves ref Joey Marella out of the ring, leading to the DQ at (9:28 shown)- Demolition is disqualified. Ventura’s all in on them “ACTING surprised” and accuses them of deliberately throwing the match to save their titles, and this feud must continue, especially as the Demos beat on the Busters on the way to the dressing room.

Tag Team 101, with a flair of “The Busters get beat on for ages to start”, as it’s 100% Demolition for the first half, then the Busters cheat to take over and fight with a combination of dirty tactics and careful blocking. Too bad it was a fuck finish (I was thinking this was the title switch but that comes later). You can’t win ’em all- they already had Boss Man lose clean on the show.

Rating: *** (very solid tag team match with great selling by the Busters and Smash, and good tag team tactics with the Demos looking amazing to start)

Jesse does another interview with Savage & Sherri, as Macho revels in his victory and being the #1 Contender. Everyone does an “OH YEAHHHHH!” and we’re out.

“SUPERFLY” JIMMY SNUKA vs. BORIZ ZHUKOV (w/ Slick):
* Oh good lord- four good matches and we end with this! “SUPER-SUPER-SUPERFLY!” interrupts Zhukov’s attempt at the Soviet National Anthem and this show is obviously running long.

Zhukov attacks while Slick distracts Snuka, but makes the mistake of slamming his head into the turnbuckle- Snuka slams him into it a couple times, hits a leaping double-ax into a backbreaker, then takes his sweet-ass time setting up the Superfly Splash for the pin at (1:13). Oh man, poor Zhukov. He was a JTTS by this point but THIS? Jobbing to SNUKA like that?

Rating: DUD (barely even a match)

You can really tell why these shows were such a big hit at the time- four big matches that all delivered and then some quick “send them hope happy” filler to end it- three title matches and one with a big finish, never mind that it’s THAT Hogan/Boss Man match with the famous cage spot. All the kids at school would have been marking out about that like nuts at the time. Sherri gets established in a big way as Macho Man’s manager and the Demolition/Busters feud hits its first level to leave the fans wanting more.