From the pages of WWF Magazine… this week, we look back at an issue that went to press in the late summer of 1988 that sold for $2.50 in the U.S. and $3.25 in Canada. With a cover featuring the Hulkster, we’re teased with stories about The Powers of Pain, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and the Big Boss Man. Let’s jump in.
We start with Around the Ring with Ed Ricciuti where Ed says Hulk Hogan is the all-time great, Hulkamania is on fire, and the Hulkster is roaring and raring to go. “The Hulkster’s massive, muscular body is rock-hard, yet he moves with catlike grace. He is energy personified, the one and only Hulkster.” Ed says that people who haven’t bought a ticket to see him in person don’t know what they’re missing. (Believe it or not, this isn’t hyperbole. I was there in the 1980s to see him in his heyday, and I’ll never forget what it was like to be in the middle of it all when he made his entrance and the arena came unglued. I also remember fans blasting “Real American” in their cars as I walked through the parking lot to and from the events. It was something else.) Anyway, Ed says Hulk is about to begin another chapter of his career.
Meanwhile, undisputed WWF Champion Macho Man Randy Savage has proved himself a true fighting champion shying away from no worthy contender, and he’ll be featured in the inaugural issue of an upcoming spinoff magazine, WWF Spotlight.
Finally, Ed reminds us that Summerslam is coming, and WWF Magazine will have exclusive coverage of this history-making event in the next issue.
Next, On the Mat looks at the Rockers, an exciting new tag team in the WWF. We get a recap of the Rockers vs. Terry Gibbs & one of the Conquistadors in which the Rockers were able to isolate and double-team the Conquistador before scoring a pinfall. After the match, word is the Conquistador threw a chair against the dressing room wall in frustration. “The victim of the sensational encounter did not realize he was paying the Rockers the highest compliment a tag team can receive.” We’re told that without precise teamwork, “a pair cannot thrive in the ring—especially now, during the golden era of World Wrestling Federation tag team action.” The magazine then goes on to explain that unlike the past, tag teams are no longer mostly comprised of stagnant singles wrestlers teaming up together on the fly to try to make something happen. Now, wrestlers are coming up through the ranks as a tag team and know how to read each other’s minds. “Tag team wrestling is not pick-up basketball,” says Marty Jannetty. “This is not a Sunday afternoon of recreation. This is your career, and you’d better give your tag team partner the same scrutiny you’d give your husband or wife. If you plan to go anywhere in tag team wrestling today, you’d better be married to team coordination.” We’re told Jannetty and Michaels took their vows a long time before they entered the WWF, but their aim from the beginning was to get to the big leagues and chase the WWF tag team title. Now, they’ve finally arrived, and the opportunity awaits them.
Breaking News! Terry Taylor, a cocky rookie, caught a break when Sam Houston, a seasoned superstar, agreed to team up with him against the dirt-tough and sneaky Conquistadors. But after Houston was pinned, Terry Taylor verbally dressed him down before battering him viciously. The assault might have brought Taylor instant notoriety, but it has also brought him dislike, and now he has to go it alone.
Next up, Personality Profile tells us about King Haku. Crowned as King by Bobby Heenan, this brawny descendent of fierce South Pacific warriors has it all when it comes to the squared circle. Haku hopes to wrestle Hulk Hogan in the near future.
Next, an interview with Hacksaw Jim Duggan, who says he always reads WWF Magazine and enjoyed the article in the last issue about him visiting his hometown. As usual when interviewing a fan favorite, the magazine sticks to softball questions like, “Why do the fans love you so much?” Hacksaw says it’s because he loves them right back. “But I don’t keep telling them that like that no-good Brother Love.” Another question: “Who’s going to stop Dino Bravo and his manager, Frenchy Martin, from running down the good ol’ USA?” Hacksaw says, “Well my man, you never know. It could just be me.”
Next, Battle of the Titans recaps a thrilling match between Ken Patera and Greg Valentine in which Valentine attempted to illegally use his shinguard to add extra pressure while applying the figure-four. That enraged Don Muraco, who ran into the ring to break it up, getting Patera disqualified. “But Muraco had saved Patera from serious injury and the Rock had served notice that whenever he sees Valentine attempting to use the shinguard, an angry Muraco will explode into action.”
Next, our cover story: Hulk Hogan is back, Jack, and he’s looking for new competition. But he doesn’t have to look very far. There’s a whole new crop of talent who realize a W over Hulk would make them legends. We’re talking guys like Bad News Brown and the Big Boss Man, each with their own strengths. There’s also King Haku, the crafty veteran. None of these opponents will be easy for the Hulkster, but Hogan isn’t looking for anything easy. “My Hulkamaniacs and I are going to let it all hang out,” Hogan says. “Because that’s the way, man, the way it’s got to be.”
Next up, WWF Trivia!
The answers are: Numbers: $100, four, and 38; Odds and Ends: blue, New Year’s Day, and Ken Patera; Places: Stamford, Chicago, and Caesars; More Merchandise: Coliseum Video, I’m an Animal Lover, and a poster of Elizabeth and a large-size Macho Madness hand; Ladies: Dolly Parton, Leilani Kai and Judy Martin, and the piano.
And we’ve got some new WWF merch… with Lanny Poffo PERSONALLY signing each frisbee.
Today someone’s selling a signed Poffo Frisbee on eBay for considerably more…
Speaking of eBay, let me share a side-story. Back in 1988 when I was collecting the WWF LJN dolls, I used to buy them at a KB Toy store at a local mall for $7.99 each. I’d go in once a month to see if they had any that I didn’t have, but usually there were about fifty Corporal Kirchners and about five or six others, and I was lucky to find one that I didn’t already have. (Kirchner was in the WWF for such a short time and had so few important matches, most WWF fans in 1988 didn’t even know who he was.) Anyway, today I have these memories of moving around dozens of Corporal Kirchner dolls to see what was behind them, sometimes striking gold, sometimes not—and what did I just see on ebay? An old Corporal Kirchner doll with 41 bids driving up the price to $1,575! To think there was a wall of merchandise I was ignoring that could have funded my retirement. Boy do I feel silly wasting my money on Macho Man and Ricky Steamboat.
But don’t worry, I’m not making the same mistake twice. I’m currently in the process of buying every Wild Boar doll I can find.
Next, an article about the Bolsheviks who are targeting the Powers of Pain. The Russian tag team, comprised of Nikolai Volkoff and Boris Zhukov, were trained in the gymnasiums of Moscow, Lenningrad, and Kiev and were given a two-word mission from Russia: “Conquer America.” Volkoff says Russian athletes are superior because their training is different than elsewhere. “In the United States you do not begin training until high school maybe, and when you finish your teacher does not remember you. In Soviet Union your coach gives you instruction your whole life. This is why Soviets always win and Americans can do nothing but suffer.” As Volkoff and Zhukov have worked their way up the WWF tag team ladder, bushy-eye-browd, concrete-haired men in Moscow have kept close watch and are pleased, recently wiring a simple message to their men: “Forge ahead and dominate.” Unfortunately, the team has recently hit a snag: the Warlord and the Barbarian, collectively known as The Powers of Pain, have entered the WWF, and the Bolsheviks are uncertain how to happen them. Gorilla Monsoon, commentator for Wrestling Challenge, says he’s not surprised. “I was studying WWF tag team wrestling before most fans were born. I’ve learned that just when you think you’ve seen it all, something new comes along that knocks you out of your chair. That’s how I feel about the Powers of Pain.” B0ris Zhukov, however, insists he’s unimpressed. “Americans dumb like sheep. Whatever you tell them, they believe without thinking. This is why everybody scared of Powers of Pain. The press say they dangerous. But Nikolai and I are very intelligent. We see Warlord and Barbarian and not scared at all.” Surprisingly, former WWF champion Hulk Hogan vouches for the Bolsheviks. “You never know what they’re going to throw at you, brother,” he says. “I’m telling you, they’ve been trained to fight it out until there’s no breath of life inside them. I’ve gone up against them one-on-one and in tag team matches, and they’re scary, brother. Zhukov comes at you like he’s got nothing to lose, and Volkoff’s bearhug is about as nasty as anything you can find in the sport.” Monsoon concludes that a match between the Bolsheviks and the Powers should prove to be a donnybrook. “The Powers of Pain are unbridled energy, but their feud with the Bolsheviks is going to be their first test. After it ends, I’m not sure anything is going to be standing. Just one tough tag team will.”
George Steele has a new companion, and he’s the talk of the WWF. George calls him Mine, and the creature shares a striking resemblance to the Animal himself. In fact, George now insists that after he wins a match the referee raises Mine’s hand. “George would risk anything for Mine. As he carries Mine into the ring and into the future, more may be deduced about this strange yet somehow appealing relationship. Then again, Mine, like the man who lugs it around, might forever be an enigma.”
Next, more on Don “The Rock” Muraco’s feud with Greg “The Hammer” Valentine. We’re told Valentine ended Superstar Billy Graham’s managerial career, and now Muraco, Graham’s protégé, is seeking revenge. “Do you know what it’s like to never be near a ring again, Greg Valentine?” asks Superstar. “You took that away from me, and now my main man, my inspiration, my torch carrier, the Rock, is gonna put you out of the ring for good, brother.” But Valentine, a master of mat mechanics, is one tough customer. He knows virtually every move and countermove and can roughhouse too. Then again, so can the Rock. “Greg Valentine gets my blood boiling just thinking about him,” says Muraco. “When it comes down to him and me—the Hammer and the Rock—the Hammer’s gonna break. He’s gonna find out a hard lesson. I guarantee you.”
Next, we’re introduced to a prison guard from Cobb County, Georgia managed by the Doctor of Style, Slick, who’s been treating WWF wrestlers like rebellious convicts. With a string of thumping victories behind him, the Big Boss Man says he’s ready for stiffer competition. “Since I came to the WWF,” the Bossman drawls, “I’ve seen lots of unmannerly people. People who don’t act respectful. People who dress different. I’m talking about people like Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and the Ultimate Warrior. Some people don’t know their proper place either, like the Junk Yard Dog.” (What does he mean by that?) “They all need to learn discipline.” The Big Boss Man has his supporters too. In addition to his manager, Slick, he’s cheered on by Brother Love, who sees something noble and compassionate about the Boss Man’s penchant for clubbing people, equating this with a concerned grandmother spanking an unruly child with a switch. “It’s hard to spread the word of love,” Love says. “But hard love is better than no love.” Hulk Hogan, meanwhile, responds with disgust. “You know, man, there are times when discipline is necessary. You can’t tolerate lawlessness. But you don’t teach by brutality. And you don’t enjoy it like the Boss Man does. Besides, the people he’s hurting have done nothing wrong. I don’t think the Boss Man needs to straighten people out. I think he needs to be straightened out.”
Next, Private Eye gives us a glimpse of Hogan and the Macho hitting the gym in preparation for SummerSlam 88…
Moving on, it’s WWF Lowdown: Brutus Beefcake recently crossed paths with Outlaw Ron Bass, which led to Beefcake stealing the Outlaw’s whip and hat and cutting them up. The Outlaw has vowed revenge, but Beefcake says he’s not worried. (Actually, the revenge would happen at the same TV taping later in the night, though the incidents were spaced apart in syndication.) Savage has accepted a challenge from Andre the Giant, and the two will wrestle for the title. The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase will be featured on Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, with host Robin Leach recently visiting one of DiBiase’s residences to film the segment. (And, of course, it was actually Vince McMahon’s house.) Some fans have been criticizing Brother Love for the company he keeps, with Brother Love especially close to men like Rick Rude and the Big Boss Man. Brother Love, however, says he loves everybody because that’s the kind of man he is. The Fabulous Rougeau Brothers say they deserve to be a top contender in the WWF tag team ranks, and they’d like to wrestle the Hart Foundation to prove how good they are. Bobby Heenan continues to send men after Hulk Hogan. His latest missile in his attack is King Haku, the brutal but skilled grappler from the South Pacific. Jake Roberts recently visited three Speedy Muffler stores in New York and a Mitsubishi dealership in Shelton, Connecticut to sign autographs. George Steele—with Mine—visited the Wayne County Fair in Belleville, Minnesota where both Steele and Mine were a big hit with youngsters. And Jake Roberts and Hacksaw Jim Duggan were among the WWF representatives who participated in a softball game between the stars of the World Wrestling Federation and the National Hockey League.
Next, in Wrestler’s Rebuttal, Bad News Brown explains why he deserves a title shot. (Well, he did win the battle royal at WrestleMania IV.) Hulk Hogan says Bad News will have to go through him first. (In a later shoot interview, Brown said the original plan for him was to go over Hogan for the title in 1989. But take that with a grain of salt.)
Next, WWF Crossword…
And finally, Caught in the Act…
That’s all for this week! Tune in next week for Wrestling Superstars Magazine, where we count down the 20 sexiest wrestlers, get schooled on the waistlock suplex, and learn how Shane Douglas turned Humongous’s life around. And if you’re new here, be sure to leave a comment and check out the archive. Also, check out my website to see what books I’ve written!
