UWF – December 13th, 1986
By Dave Newman on 27th May 2022
One every day across the weekend to end 1986 as it feels like these are dying on the vine, never topping the three title changes episode.
Cold open from four weeks ago of Savannah Jack beating Buddy Roberts for the TV title.
Hosted by Jim Ross and a surly/stoned Michael Hayes, with a brown bag. No need to hide your two buddies, Jack and Daniels, Michael.
The Lybian and Bobby Perez vs. Hacksaw Jim Duggan and Terry Taylor
Weird seeing Hacksaw without the 2×4. Perez gets a pretty even offense with Taylor, but the Lybian comes in to team up on him, bringing in Hacksaw for a double Irish whip that see Lybian clotheslined and Perez fivearmed for the pin.
Jim takes a moment to talk about Hollywood John Tatum getting a massive injury in a car crash (which I believed resulted in another person dying too). Michael speaks up for his shoot close friend, and we go to a rare interview with Jack Victory on it from Power Pro Wrestling, with Doyle King of all people being the interviewer. Jack replaces John for a little while with pudgy charisma black hole Mike George, who I believe found his top point booking himself on top in the dying Kansas City.
Eli the Eliminator vs. Ken Massey
Debut here for biker Eli, straight from the files of Wrestlecrap. Weird, stiff knees and elbows to start. Corner clothesline is similarly clunky. Like many green guys, it feels like he’s been given a list of moves to work through, but there’s zero fluidity between them. Michael foreshadows whether he’s a member of any group, because the Freebirds didn’t bring him in. Stiff tombstone leads to the pinfall for Eli. Spiked him with that one.
Hacksaw does some far more goofy WWF-style carol singing and rambling while wearing his thick glasses.
Wild Bill Irwin and the One Man Gang vs. Brett Wayne Sawyer and Jeff Gaylord
No idea where Leroy Brown is, but Bill is still half of the UWF tag team champions. Irwin and Gang trap Gaylord, who then gets a terrible clothesline while it looks like Sawyer is laughing at the big goof. Sawyer gets a tag and fires away, with a dropkick on Bill, but then messes up and goes for a monkey flip while Irwin is trying to catch him for a side suplex, gets dropped and then splashed by the Gang off a blind tag.
Jim and Michael (mostly Jim) discuss recent lawlessness, using the attack on Duggan before his cage match with the Gang as source material, the Freebirds and Angel of Death’s massacre of the Fantastics, Gary Young getting beaten up for being a “friend” of Jim Duggan, then a leathered up Michael Hayes ramming Jeff Gaylord into the ringpost while, I believe, Al Madril does commentary. There are a few more as well, but it’s much of a muchness. Did they have time to fill? Over to Cowboy, looking far older than before and talking like he’s just been roused from a slumber. His attitude: you’ve got to look after yourself, then recreating history where he and Dusty Rhodes originated the bullrope match. So, his solution: a first blood bunkhouse brawl, where if you bleed you’re eliminated and if you don’t get cut open you go until you can’t any more. Michael shits on the idea back in the arena and vents about Bam Bam getting screwed.
Buddy Jack Roberts vs. Savannah Jack
Rematch for the TV title. The commentary is towards Buddy regaining the title here, even though it’s just Jim and not the absent Michael. Roberts controls pretty dominantly despite some comebacks. Knee off the second is missed and Savannah gets a clothesline and bell ringer. He gets distracted by Sunshine, but still superkicks Buddy out of the ring, prompting Michael and his paper bag to arrive on the scene. Buddy is counted out and Michael reveals a jar of what I assume is the old Freebird hair cream.
A Joel Watts video on Dr. Death and Ted Dibiase to Living in America, as we’re clearly filling time on this show. I even remember the “Kill the commie for mommie!” sign from it.
Art Crews vs. Chavo Guerrero
Boy, the Guerrero boys could all wrestle, but it wasn’t until Eddie that any of them showed real star charisma. Crews gets a side headlock, which Chavo belly-to-backs out of and takes the arm. Crews get a temporary advantage, but looks away and Chavo gets him with a moonsault press for the finish.
Promo with Spandex Snackbar and Bill Irwin, still sans Leroy Brown, about the low chances of Jim Duggan and Terry Taylor unseating them.
Savannah Jack promo, doing his best JYD impression despite being from Minnesota. You unnastan?!
Eddie Gilbert, Rick Steiner and Sting vs. The Fantastics and the Missing Link
Less than five minutes left, plus entrances and an extended pre-match recap and promo from Gilbert. To the match, Link slams Eddie off the top and Tommy Rogers gets a dropkick on him. Steiner tags in, wearing white cycle shorts that look far too revealing given their tightness. He meets Link with clotheslines, who headbutts him back. All six men as Jim starts counting down the last minute and it’s breaking loose in Tulsa as the credits roll with no finish.
Melting it down: Really hard to tell what’s what with the company as there was obviously a lack of long term vision after the hot shot episode and signs that they were going from week to week, with Ken Mantell holding the book and getting a lot of his Texas guys in before he pulled out when things started going down.
Holiday special to be reviewed tomorrow.