Monday Nitro #269
Date: December 4, 2000
Location: Pershing Auditorium, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Mark Madden, Scott Hudson
Starrcade is rapidly approaching and WCW is clearly on its (final) last legs. We’re building towards a double main event of Goldberg vs. Lex Luger II and Scott Steiner vs. Sid for the World Title. If you need a better reason than that to explain why WCW is in the shape it’s in, you haven’t been paying close enough attention. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of most of the events from Mayhem and the fallout last week.
The Thrillers are in the back and they run into…..oh sweet goodness they run into OKLAHOMA, who is reading a speech tonight which is going to require security. TNA wishes they could do this kind of stupid stuff.
Here’s Oklahoma to get things going and for some reason he’s carrying a bowl. He introduces himself a few times and then stops so the fans can chant for the University of Nebraska. Tony says we only have six minutes for this segment to further destroy any feeling of legitimacy this might have and make me scream SIX MINUTES??? Apparently the bowl is here so the fans can be close to a bowl for a change.
After that hilarious sports commentary, Oklahoma says he’s here to issue a statement from Mike Sanders on Sid Vicious. After spending a minute or so talking about how awesome the security is, the announcement is that Sid isn’t allowed in the building. Cue Sid to beat up Oklahoma, which draws out Sanders with security to arrest Sid. Somehow we’re over eleven minutes into the show and the top face in the promotion (we’re in trouble) has been arrested. This is totally like Austin right?
After a break, Scott Steiner arrives and tells Sanders he wants Sid tonight. Sanders blames Flair for Sid being arrested so Steiner says no one is safe tonight.
Konnan isn’t worried about facing Jeff Jarrett tonight and wants a six man street fight at Starrcade.
Chavo Guerrero Jr. vs. Kwee Wee
Yes it’s Chavo again, which at least means I don’t have to try to keep Lieutenant Loco and Corporal Cajun straight anymore. Chavo breaks up the pre-match kiss with Paisley and we’re off in a hurry. Kwee Wee’s throat is snapped across the top rope which seems to wake him up for some right hands to the face. Something like a tilt-a-whirl faceplant gets two but Chavo floats over into a DDT. Chavo goes after Paisley with a chair and the distraction lets Kwee Wee get in a sunset flip for two. Some hero. A quick launch into the buckle sets up a brainbuster to give Chavo the pin.
Rating: C-. I liked this more than I was expecting to as the more aggressive Chavo was one of the only good things in the last few months of WCW. Kwee Wee continues to be one of the guys who was so crushed by a horrible gimmick that he couldn’t showcase all the natural talent he clearly has.
Sanders tells Flair what happened with Sid and Steiner so Ric is going to get Sid out of jail before the end of the show. At least going into Wrestlemania X7 Undertaker said it would take him twelve hours to get out of jail for going after HHH.
Kronik has a new client.
General Rection says what happened to Torrie was an accident because that’s now what MIA is all about. He isn’t worried about Chavo’s new attitude because tonight he has a World Title match. I don’t remember the last time the “US Champion is #1 contender” rule was enforced but I guess this is bringing it out of mothballs one last time.
Hardcore Title: Elix Skipper vs. Crowbar
Crowbar is defending and Storm wants the weapons taken away from ringside. This brings out the Cat and Ms. Jones while Storm sits in on commentary. Cat sits in as well to give us a five person booth. Daffney comes out with Crowbar to make sure this is as crowded as possible. Crowbar pulls out a bunch of weapons from under the ring, allowing Skipper to get in a few cheap shots to take over.
A shot with a steering wheel misses for the champ as Storm FINALLY talks about how Skipper didn’t bring these weapons into the ring. Duggan and Major Gunns get in some cheap shots so it’s time for a catfight. Cat and Madden get in a fight so Storm jumps Cat, only to have Duggan hit Storm by mistake. Crowbar gives Skipper the Mindbender over a car bumper for the pin to retain.
Jimmy Hart’s DJ challenge. Why it says this is a “paid paid” announcement from Jimmy Hart isn’t clear but I’d assume it’s because WCW is really bad at this stuff.
Stacy Keibler and David Flair are in the back. She’s happy to be back but won’t say who the father is. Ric comes in and has security escort them out because of the whole Steiner thing.
Reno asks Marie why his family has ignored him since he got out of jail. She’s just glad she has his brother back.
We look back at Luger attacking Goldberg on Monday and then running on Thunder.
Here’s Lex Luger with a copy of Goldberg’s book. Luger thanks the fans as they chant for Goldberg and talks about how Goldberg has thirteen days left in his career, unless he can win 150 matches in less than two weeks. Luger finally gets to the point as he talks about Sgt. Dwayne Bruce (Sarge, better known as Sgt. Buddy Lee Parker), the man who trained Goldberg to be a wrestler.
We get a selection from the book with Luger altering a bit of the book, much to Sarge’s annoyance. The only think I can think of is how much Sarge looks like a small Brock Lesnar. Lex rambles on for a LONG time about how poor Sarge is to finally wrap this up. I have no idea why I’m supposed to care about a former sergeant/leprechaun who trained Goldberg but for some reason this is what we’re getting instead of Goldberg in the World Title match.
Norman Smiley is with one of the Nitro Girls when Scott Steiner storms in. Steiner asks Norman who he has tonight. That would be Goldberg so Steiner hits Norman with a pipe.
Shane Douglas promises to take out Hugh Morrus just like Morrus did to Torrie Wilson.
Morrus and AWALL say they have business tonight but find Corporal Cajun talking with Chavo. This isn’t cool of course.
Tag Team Titles: Insiders vs. 3 Count
So last week wasn’t a title match. Good to know. The Insiders are defending while Moore and Helms are looking forward to their three team ladder match for the #1 contendership to the Cruiserweight Title. Nash throws Moore into the corner to start and drives knees into the ribs. Oh yeah we’re firmly in squash territory here and it’s even worse than it sounds.
A LOUD WE WANT HALL chant starts up and we cut to Mike Sanders who says he has something big planned for the champs. Back in the ring it’s Page giving Helms the Pancake for two. A double suplex puts Page down as the fans (in theory at least) chant for DDP. The hot tag brings in Nash a few seconds later, setting up Snake Eyes and a super Diamond Cutter to put both guys down for the pin to retain the titles.
Rating: D-. Does this one really need an explanation? You have a team who is going to be competing for a title shot at the biggest show of the year getting squashed in less than five minutes by two veterans who probably just saw the titles and said “yeah we’ll have those this week”. Either give this match some time and let it be competitive (perhaps the time given to freaking Oklahoma where he made fun of Nebraska football fans) or just bring in local jobbers. I know it doesn’t mean anything now but this stuff is so endemic of one of WCW’s biggest problems.
Speaking of problems, post match here are Sanders and the Perfect Event to bring out Ric Flair. We see a clip from the title change at the pay per view showing the Insiders pinned the illegal man. Therefore, the titles are returned to the Perfect Event, likely so the Insiders can beat them again. Flair makes the rematch for Starrcade, which should complete the double beating.
Bam Bam Bigelow attacks Mike Awesome in the parking lot.
Reno vs. Kronik
This is the match where Kronik was hired but the referee throws it out after less than thirty seconds of double teaming.
Kronik keeps beating on him until Vito makes the save. Marie comes out to check on Reno as Vito walks away.
Crowbar tells Daffney that they made a great team. She offers him a ride home but two women come up to leave with him instead. Daffney isn’t pleased.
Flair tells security to watch out everywhere for Steiner.
We see Goldberg giving a kid a WCW World Title belt on the Maury show.
Goldberg vs. MI Smooth
Forty nine seconds this time and Goldberg hugs Sarge after the latest squash.
Steiner says Flair is next.
Jeff Jarrett vs. Konnan
Jarrett accepts the Animals’ challenge for Starrcade but wants the Animals ejected before we get going. Konnan says it’s fine so Jeff jumps him from behind. A kick to the ribs and an X-Factor sends Jarrett out to the floor. Jarrett chairs him in the back to take over but Konnan gets in a shot to the knee. It’s a ruse of course as the Harris Twins come in for an H Bomb on Konnan, setting up the Stroke to give Jeff the quick pin.
WCW World Title: Scott Steiner vs. General Rection
Rection is challenging. Before the match, Steiner rants about all the guys he’s put on the shelf. Now it’s SID of all people so he wants Sid out here after this match. If Sid isn’t here, Steiner is coming after Flair. Scott jumps Rection during the entrance so Rection comes back with heavy forearms and a top rope clothesline. Midajah jumps on Rection’s back (Madden: “The luchador with implants.”) for the distraction and Scott takes over again.
That means more forearms and kicks to the ribs with a spinning belly to belly to refresh things a bit. We get the Tree of Woe choke for a bit but Rection backdrops out of a tiger bomb. Rection hammers away and knocks Steiner to the floor for a plancha. Back in and a powerslam sets up the moonsault for two, making it clear that Rection has no chance here. Another moonsault hits knees though and the Recliner makes Rection tap in a hurry.
Rating: D+. The match could have been worse but it continues the problem of building someone up only to crush them all over again. I’m fine with Steiner getting a big title defense but there was no reason to have the US Champion take a clean loss like this. Was there no one else on the roster that could have been in this spot? No one at all? Just more bad decision making which isn’t even a surprise at this point.
Post match Steiner heads to the back to get Flair as Shane Douglas comes in to hit Rection with a chain. Steiner finds Arn Anderson and beats him down to the ring for the Recliner. Flair tries to get out for help but Goldberg runs out instead, only to get jumped by Luger. You know, the guy who was just standing at ringside in case this happened. After that tease of Goldberg vs. Steiner in what should be the main event, Sid comes out but is held back by security to end the show.
Overall Rating: D-. The booking here is such a disaster that there’s almost no defending it. I have no idea why I’d want to see what they’ve got set up for Starrcade with mostly recaps from a show that wasn’t very good in the first place. The wrestling was its usual bad stuff that you had to expect but the real problem here is how badly they’re doing everything else. Steiner’s push has been acceptable but it should be setting up a showdown with Goldberg instead of Sid. Storyline or whatever aside, there’s no logical reason to not be setting that up. As usual, it’s a horribly run organization which has been the case for years now.
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