July 30, 2003
Your hosts are Don West and Mike Tenay.
The show starts with a video highlight package of last week’s Best of Three Series between AJ Styles and Vince Russo.
Scott Hudson is in the parking lot and approaches Trinity and AJ, who are getting out of a limo, but AJ said Russo told him to say no comment. Sonny Siaki comes out as a camera man, who he claims is filming a documentary about him. In reality, they were filming a documentary about TNA.
Elix Skipper vs. Jerry Lynn
Tenay lets us know that this match was formed as a result of Skipper challenging Lynn to find who is pound-for-pound the best wrestler in TNA. Skipper attacks Lynn to start but Lynn escapes from a Play of the Day attempt and gets a La Magistral rollup for the win (0:25). Skipper is pissed and grabs the mic and says if Lynn was half the man is says he is, he will wrestle him best two-out-of-three. They start the second match, with Lynn up 1-0. Skipper stomps Lynn but he fights back. Skipper crotches Lynn on the ropes and does his ropewalk hurricarana, getting two. Skipper chokes out Lynn with the ropes then they royally fuckup a slingshot clothesline spot, ending with Skipper getting two. Skipper works the arm as the crowd chants for Lynn. Legdrop gets two. He drapes Lynn over the apron and takes him down with a scissor kick. Lynn manages to come back with a backdrop and a neckbreraker. He gets two off an STO. Skipper escapes a cradle piledriver attempt and slingshots Lynn in the corner. He picks him up but knocks accidentally knocks down the ref in the process. Skipper gets a low blow and grabs his scale but misses a shot and Lynn kicks it in his face and covers for the win (6:25) *1/4.
Thoughts: The match was nothing and the singles push for Skipper is failing. Looks like they are now sticking him in a feud with Lynn, who has really cooled off in TNA, wrestling mostly in meaningless matches
Sonny Siaki, minus the camera man, makes his way to the ring accompanied by Trinity. He refers to himself as the past, present, and future of NWA-TNA. He has the “magic stick” (If you don’t know the reference, it is from 50 cent). Siaki tells AJ that if not for him, D’Lo would have won the belt and if he has a problem, he can come out. AJ comes out and they argue with each other as the crowd starts a “know your role” chant towards Siaki after AJ told him he was his bag carrier. Siaki called himself Russo’s right-hand man then AJ Slaps him. D’Lo Brown comes out and tells AJ he doesn’t need these guys and when alone, everyone can see how great he can be. D’Lo proposes they face off noe-on-one without any outside interference as the crowd chants for D’Lo. AJ says it bothers him that he was close to losing the belt and agrees to a rematch as AJ they shake hands. Siaki and Trinity attack D’Lo from behind and AJ brushes them off but it was a swerve as he joins in on the attack. Erik Watts runs out and chokeslams Siaki as AJ and Trinity bail. Watts says that D’Lo and AJ will fight for the belt next week in a fifteen-foot high steel cage but Legend, Trinity and “Acehole” will not be here but Russo will be back in his corner, handcuffed to him. God, this was long, over ten minutes, and D’Lo comes off like a goof.
Scott Hudson is with Raven and Julio in “Raven’s Lair.” He asks where CM Punk is and Julio said he flaked out on them. I believe he was in Japan. Raven said he would go to hell in order to get his hands on Shane Douglas. Alexis appears and said she would be the third member of the team.
Edward Chastain w/Don Callis vs. Sandman
Before the match, Callis says that if Sandman wrestles a hardcore style, he will be “downsized.” Callis joins commentary, stating he is doing an assessment of the announcers booth. Chastain attacks Sandman and hits a leg drop. He tosses him to the floor but misses a senton off the apron. On commentary, Callis says the fans do not know what they want as Sandman hits Chastain with a leg lariat. In the ring, Sandman accidentally hits the ref when he goes for his kendo stick and whacks Chastain before hitting a Russian Leg Sweep for the win (2:11) DUD. Callis says this is not what the people want then proceeds to tell Chastain that he can use him as a reference but that he just became a victim of corporate downsizing.
Thoughts: At least it was short. Sandman is useless here and Chastain sucks. Callis was okay but the corporate gimmick can only go so far and it seems like his character exists justs to get mad at all the awful hardcore and women’s matches.
Shark Boy is shown looking sad near his pool as he learned New Jack got suspended. Norman Smiley and Athena try to cheer him up. Norman shows them how to do the big wiggle and becomes his new partner.
Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger vs. Norman Smiley & Shark Boy
The faces briefly take control to start. Shark Boy gets double-teamed as Diamond hits a few suplexes. Shark Boy gets slapped after doing the wiggle and Swinger tags. He kills him with a clothesline and stretches him out from the tree-of-woe position. He continues the assault as several in the front row are wearing Shark Boy masks. Shark Boy manages to hit a jawbreaker and makes the tag. Smiley runs wild but gets caught with a super kick when trying the Big Wiggle. Shark Boy hits Swinger with a missile dropkick but gets caught with the Problem Solver (DDT/Flapjack combo) and Swinger gets the pin (5:05) *. After the match, Gilbertti bullies Borash and they attempt to whip him but America’s Most Wanted run out for the save then challenge them to a rawhide strap match next week. Storm cut the promo and was difficult to understand at times.
Thoughts: The match wasn’t much but it continues the feud, which has been pretty good so far.
A clip of Tenay’s interview with Vince Russo. Russo says that AJ has been by his side and is the champ. He says SEX is on the backburner because of Jeff Jarrett. He reports he is obsessed with Jeff Jarrett and will do whatever he can to keep him off television for ruining his vision of sports entertainment.
Hudson interviews Chris Sabin. He asks him when Frankie Kazarian will get another shot at the title. Sabin feels that as champ, he shouldn’t even have to share the same ring as him but Watts interrupts and names a special referee for the match, then brings out Kazarian, who is wearing a referee shirt.
X Division Championship Match
Michael Shane vs. Chris Sabin (Champion) with Special Guest Referee Frankie Kazarian
Shane is billed as the cousin of Shawn Michaels. They start by having a nice sequence on the mat. Shane then snaps of a rana and gets two off a leg lariat. Sabin sends Shane to the floor with a missile dropkick but gets knocked off the apron and Shane flies out with a tope con hilo. Shane rolls Sabin in the ring but gets tossed off the top rope and crotched on the top rope. Sabin dropkicks Shane to the floor and follows out with a beautiful springboard plancha. Back in the ring, Sabin uses a surfboard then applies a bodyscissors at the same time. Sabin tries a top rope bulldog but Shane fights back and hits a swinging neckbreaker. The crowd is cold as both men struggle to get to their feet. Shane is up first and hits a flying forearm and a clothesline. They have a reversal sequence ending with Shane hitting a Downward Spiral for two. Sabin comes back with a Tornado DDT that gets two. Shane floats over on a Future Shock attempt then murders Sabin with a super kick that gets two. This has been a damn good match but the crowd is dead. Sabin hits Shane with a DDT from the bodybreaker position for two. He is upset at the count by Kazarian, as the crowd starts a “that was three” chant. He grabs the belt but Kazarian takes it away and Shane gets a rollup for two. Sabin comes back with a kick to the face the pushes Kazarian, who hits Sabin with the Wave of the Future. Shane covers and Kazarian almost counts to three but referee Rudy Charles comes out and stops him then throws him out of the ring. In the ring, Sabin hits Shane with the belt and Charles counts to three for the win (9:02) ***1/2.
Thoughts: Awesome match. Shane impressed in his debut and Sabin has been fantastic in his matches. Adding these guys has really helped the X Division.
A day in the life of Mad Mikey is next. His gimmick is that he is like the Life Cereal kid but now older and always pissed off. They show him beating the shit out of his roommates and throwing his work computer off the deck. He then flips out at the drive-thru guy for putting cheese on his burger and climbs through after the guy. He will also be here next week. Not bad, actually and Mikey is fine as a lower mid-card comedy act.
Replay of Kid Kash insulting the NWA legends last week.
Kid Kash vs. Ricky Morton
The story here is that Morton is pissed at Kash and wants to show him some respect. Morton doesn’t look a day under 55 here. The match starts with Kash stalling as Sara Lee is shown outside the ring. Morton hits a few armdrags then clotheslines him to the floor. He follows out with a tope and it didn’t look bad at all. KAsh boots him in the gut but fails on a baseball slide. Kash sends Morton into the steps and rolls him back in the ring. Top rope clothesline gets two. Kash grabs a chinlock to Morton escapes and they begin to trade chops. Kash hits a facebreaker then uses a keylock. The crowd is chanting for Morton as Corsica Joe now makes his way out. Kash kicks Morton down but misses a coast-to-coast dropkick. Morton hits an overhead belly-to-belly then gets two off a dropkick. Sunset flip gets two. Kash uses an eye rake and goes up top but Morton cuts him off. Morton goes up top and nearly kills himself trying a hurricarana. The ref checks on Kash then Abyss comes out and hits a Torture Rack Backbreaker and Kash covers for the win (6:10) **1/2. After the match, Kash yells at Lee and Morton attacks him but Kash uses the Smashmouth as Kash is separated from Lee by security, who starts to laugh.
Thoughts: Morton looked terribly out of shape but brought the goods tonight. He wrestled this like it was his last match ever. Kash is an awesome heel and it looks like the feud between the legends and Kash will continue.
Three Live Crew are now in the Latin hood. BG gets the shits and stinks up the bathroom and Killings gets tanked on tequila, ending up shirtless and wearing a sombrero. Konnan has to carry him out as BG emerges from the shitter and says that next week they will go to his trailer park. At least it was funnier than last week
In the ring, Lollipop and April Pennington are in the ring with straps. They call out the Bitchslap Girls, who come out with Trinity. She pushes them in the ring and watches them get whipped. Valentina ends up getting whipped on the ass. This was very short, maybe a minute long.
Another video from the “Fallen Angel” Christopher Daniels.” He will continue to bring his message to the masses and warns us to say our prayers. He will be returning next week.
Clockwork Orange House of Fun Match
Shane Douglas & New Church w/James Mitchell vs. Raven & The Gathering
The Gathering runs to the ring and starts grabbing all the weapons. They chase the New Church and Douglas out of the ring. Alexis flies out but gets caught and dumped on the floor. Julio also gets caught but Raven baseball slides him and everyone falls. A pier six brawl erupts outside as Douglas clotheslines Raven off the guardrail. Julio gets busted open by Slash and opens him up some more. Douglas, with everything he is doing looking terrible, beats on Raven in the crowd. In the ring, The Gathering are getting destroyed as Douglas works the crowd. Slash hits Alexis with the helicopter slam. Lee puts Julio on his shoulders as Slash comes off top but Julio turns it into a victory roll for two. Lee accidentally boots Douglas to the floor in a terrible looking spot then Alexis takes Slash to the floor with a rana before walking into a big boot from Lee, who looks like he lost ten pounds since last week. Alexis slides under Lee, who walks into a double superkick. Raven and his Gathering take control, with Laree whacking everyone with the kendo stick. The crowd is awakening as everyone is brawling. Raven plaes Douglas on the table outside and hits an elbow drop as Alexis hits Slash with a tornado DDT. All of a sudden, the mummy-like person pulls Raven underneath the ring. Julio fights off the New Church as Raven is rolled back to the floor and Douglas covers for the win (9:48) **1/4.
Thoughts: Not bad, but Lee and Douglas are just horrible at this point and cant do anything right. Lee looks emaciated and Douglas has the cardiovascular condition of my grandma. The crowd loves Raven though and his face run has been really good.
Scott Hudson is backstage interviewing D’Lo, who is behind the cage. He cuts a very lame promo on AJ hyping the match next week.
West plugs next week’s show, including:
AJ Styles vs. D’Lo Brown in a cage match for the Heavyweight Title
Chris Sabin vs. Frankie Kazarian for the X Division Title
America’s Most Wanted vs. Simon Diamond & Johnny Swinger in a Rawhide Strap Match
Hudson is now with AJ Styles. Wearing a white t-shirt with a necklace you can get at the front desk of American Eagle is not the look of a champion. I like AJ but he came off like he was in the Appalachian version of the Backstreet Boys and as the champ, that is a no-no.
We see a video hyping the feud between Joe Legend and Jeff Jarrett.
Guitar and Baseball Bat on a Pole Match
Joe Legend vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett gets the upper hand to start the match. He hits a dropkick but ends up running into a knee. He goes for the guitar but gets shoved to the floor. Jarrett follows him out and roughs him up before going for the guitar. Legend stops him but Jarrett fires back with mounted punches. Legends hits a facebuster out of a fireman’s carry then stomps away. He works a surfboard/chinlock move the catches Jarrett and hits a backbreaker. He works the arm while landing some kidney shots. He goes for the guitar but Jarrett catches him with a running powerbomb. Both men struggle to get up then start to brawl. Legends gets a powerslam and goes up top but Jarrett slams him off. Jarrett hits him with the Stroke on het second attempt but Siaki runs out and grabs the bat from him. Jarrett tosses him out and Legend hits him with the bat on the head but that only gets two as West explains it was not a clean hit and if it was, that would have been a three count. Siaki up top and goes for guitar but Black shirt Security take him down. Jarrett has the bat and hits Siaki in the leg but Red shirt Security take the bat from Jarrett and that allows Legend to hit the uranage for two. He goes for the guitar but Jarrett cuts him off and hits a superplex. Jarrett goes up top but Legend stops him and they battle for the guitar the Jarrett hits the Stroke from the top rope. He goes back up and grabs the guitar but misses the shot and Legend hits a super kick. Legend goes up top with the bat but Jarrett hits the guitar that doesn’t break and a middle-rope shot connects for the win (9:01) **. After the match, Christopher Daniels comes out and attacks Jarrett. He hits Jarrett with a split-legged moonsault on the floor while wearing a suit. He yells “tradition ends tonight” as he continues his assault. Legend hits a neckbreaker and Daniels comes off top with the bat.
Thoughts: Not a bad match but this feud is really cold. Daniels returning to a bigger push is nice though.
Final Thoughts: I thought the show was decent enough. Nothing was embarrassing but these feuds aren’t clicking and the lack of depth in the heavyweight division is glaring.