May 14, 2003
Your hosts are Don West and Mike Tenay
The show opens with a video package on last week’s show. This focuses on how they made Glen Gilbertti into the number one contender, including him winning the “Anarchy in the Asylum” match and assaulting an injured Jeff Jarrett.
We see a stretch limo pull up with Glen Gilbertti getting out, wearing a suit and holding a wad of cash as he tips the driver. He speaks into the camera and states that he will do some Sports Entertainment tonight then tells the camera man to follow him around. In the background, we see Erik Watts getting out of his car.
Tenay tells us that the X Division and Tag-Team Titles will be on the line.
SEX are in the ring. Sonny Siaki is holding the mic and introduces Glen Gilbertti. The crowd starts a “Disco Sucks” chant. He tells the crowd he never connected with them and makes fun of their dialect. The crowd now starts an “Asshole” chant as he tells the crowd that he beat the shit out of their hero, Jeff Jarrett. Mike Sanders asks Glen if he is wearing the $3,500 suit but apparently Nashville only gets to see the $2,500 suit. He goes on for too long before stating that SEX will take over the entire building. He then starts “Gilbertti’s List,” putting Raven at the top because he is all about himself, even though he helped him win the match last week. Gilbertti says that you can either join them or be wiped out trying to stop them and gives a ten second countdown. The ECW guys come out and tell him to shut up. New Jack calls him “Glen Bershitty” and makes fun of his cheap clothes and big nose. Gilbertti comes back with bingo hall and bounced check references as Sandman spits beer all over his suit. New Jack tells us there is a third choice, which is that they can stomp their ass, and they run into the ring. The ECW guys clear the ring as SEX retreats. The ECW guys get worse by the week.
Teany and West run down the title matches, which includes Amazing Red vs. Chris Sabin and XXX vs. AJ Styles & D’Lo Brown.
Goldylocks is with Chris Sabin. He tells Goldy that this will be the biggest night of his career before he is interrupted by Jerry Lynn. He tells Sabin that he beat a bunch of stiffs and that he petitioned to the office to include himself into the title match, making it a three-way. Sabin says that it isn’t a good idea as Lynn bullies him around. Sabin came across like a huge geek and did a terrible job on the mic.
X Division Championship Match
Chris Sabin vs. Jerry Lynn vs. Amazing Red (Champion)
They start with an over-choreographed sequence that ends in a standoff. Sabin gets double-teamed and Red goes for the cover but Lynn breaks it up and pushes Red around. Red comes back with a rana and a dropkick before Lynn catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker. Sabin and Lynn trade shots before Sabin hits a backbreaker. Red hits Sabin with an ugly tornado DDT as XXX comes to the ring. Lynn puts Sabin on his shoulders and Red springboards in and takes him down with a rana. That looked great. Lynn then clotheslines Red for two. He covers again as we see a replay of the rana. Sabin blocks a cradle piledriver attempt but gets hit with a German suplex. Sabin hits Lynn with a sitout powerbomb and Red breaks up the pin with a dropkick. Red nails Sabin with a cartwheel kick. Sabin gets Red in position for an inverted DDT and Lynn does the same to Sabin and all three men are down. They now work a double headscissor spot as the crowd is quieting down. Sabin eats boot on a charge and Red hits Lynn with a tornado DDT after spinning off of Sabin. Lynn rolls outside and Red attempts to dive out but Sabin kills him with a Yakuza kick. He hits Lynn with a pescado and they brawl for a bit until Red takes them out with a running flip dive. The camera shows XXX talking as Sabin catches Red as he springboards into the ring. Red floats over then runs Sabin into Lynn, who hits him with his apron leg drop. Lynn slingshots in with a splash on Sabin but Red breaks that up with swanton bomb in a bad looking spot as the ref had to delay the three count waiting for Red. The crowd even starts a “that was three” chant. Red hits Lynn with a swinging STO but Sabin breaks that up. Sabin and Lynn hit each other with their finishers then Red slingshots in and hits Lynn with the Code Red, getting two. He goes up top but Skipper pushes him off as Ki distracts the ref. Skipper hits the Play of the Day and puts Sabin on top and he gets the win (10:47) **1/2. Ki grabs the belt from Sabin then they offer him a SEX t-shirt. Sabin ponders it for a second then takes the shirt and puts it on. They give him back the belt and they walk away to the back.
Thoughts: Some nice spots but too much of this was over-choreographed, which can be the case in three-way matches. The crowd did not react to Sabin winning and did not seem to care that he joined SEX. Speaking of SEX, they did not need to add to their already bloated stable. Red’s title reign lasted a whole two weeks.
Goldylocks is with the Extreme Revolution. New Jack cuts her off and yells at Sandman over him negotiating with SEX. They have a screaming match until Saturn interrupts and tells Sandman not to come back if he goes over to the SEX locker room. Jack and Credible yell at Sandman, who responds by smashing a beer can over his own head. A waste of time and why is Sandman going to negotiate with Gilbertti after they just cleared the ring of SEX fifteen minutes ago?
Tenay tells us that TNA has granted Gilbertti’s request for a camera. We are in the SEX locker room as they celebrate with Sabin then Gilbertti calls Sanders a giant killer and tells him to beat Mike Awesome tonight. Kid Kash comes in and says he has no problem with SEX and has a peace offering, the services of Trinity. Gilbertti asks what she can do for them as Sanders wants to know if she can do a rusty trombone. They accept and Kash grabs Trinity and tells her to be on her best behavior. If you’re a fan of blowjob references, this is a segment for you.
Mike Sanders vs. Mike Awesome w/James Mitchell
Awesome is getting fatter by the week. He hits a few clotheslines but Sanders escapes a running Awesome Bomb. In a horrendous spot, Sanders takes Awesome over the ropes with a rana. Awesome sends Sanders into the guardrail a few times as the crowd is behind him. They are in the crowd as Awesome picks up a table and charges at Sanders, who ducks out of the way. Man, that looked terrible too. They engage in some weak brawling as Awesome connects with a chairshot as Mitchell stomps away. Sanders is on the table after a chairshot then the Harris Brothers and the New Church come out and brawl. It goes outside where SEX is waiting for them and beat the crap out of the New Church. Back to the match, where they made it back to the ring. Awesome puts a table into the ring but Sanders hits him and sets up the table in the ring. He places him on top and goes to the top rope. Awesome crotches Sanders then sets up a table outside the ring. He goes for a top rope Awesome Bomb but Gilbertti runs out and hits Awesome with a pair of pathetic chair shots as Awesome falls backwards through the table, scoring the win for Sanders (5:31) DUD.
Thoughts: This match sucked. Most of the blame goes on Awesome. He is really out of shape and just a shell of his former self.
Goldylocks is with Chris Harris. He accuses TNA of trying to split up his team and says that James Storm will not return his calls. Its amazing to see how TNA tried to destroy this team with Harris’s teases heel turn. He says that he tried to interfere to help his partner and he requested a match with David Young so he can get revenge for him causing Storm to be eliminated from the Anarchy in the Asylum match last week. Harris showed a lot of intensity but stumbled over his words at times.
We are back in the SEX locker room, where Gilbertti requests two minutes alone with Trinity. Erik Watts barges in and says he has a problem with Gilbertti for what he did with Jarrett. Watts continues his insincere deal which is not funny at all. He then tells us that Eric from WCW, “DDP’s friend” is coming to TNA and will be the new director of authority. He leaves and Gilbertti tells Trinity that Kash is an asshole and she can have a spot in SEX whenever she wants. The Harris brothers then drag Alexis and Julio into the locker room. Awful segment and nobody at all is buying that Eric Bischoff is showing up to TNA at this point.
Kid Kash vs. Ron “The Truth” Killings w/Konnan
Before the match, Kash says he is fed up with everyone. He attacks Killings as soon as he enters the ring. He stomps him in the corner as Konnan joins the announcers. He says that he has no idea who the luchadore is but that it looks like a girl. It’s very obvious that a girl wearing shoulderpads is playing the luchadore. He also suggests that Kash “keep his ho’s in check.” Kash lands on the apron after a backdrop but gets taken off with a kick that splits his lip. Kash reverses an Irish whip and hits the Smashmouth before rolling the Truth back into the ring. Top rope clothesline gets two. He works a neck vise as Konnan talks about the Harris Brothers and mentions how Gilbertti hung out with a duck while in WCW. Kash gets two off a suplex but Killings goes low and hits the axe kick, getting two himself. He roughs up Kash until they mess up a springboard hurricarana spot. Kash gets two off a swinging neckbreaker. He shoves the ref, who pushes him right back. Kash grabs a chinlock then backs him in the corner. Killings fights back and gets two off a wheelbarrow slam. Killings charges but gets caught in a drop toehold. The Harris brothers then run out and attack Konnan. They beat the crap out of him as Killings gets two off a heel kick. He hits a super fallaway slam then goes up top and takes out the Harris Brothers with a crossbody but he gets roughed up before being tossed back in the ring. The mystery luchadore runs out and goes low on Kash before hitting a DDT and Killings covers for the win (9:07) *3/4.
Thoughts: Not much of a match and Kash blew a few spots. Too much was going on here between the luchadore angle and the feud between the Harris Brothers and Konnan & Killings.
Goldylocks is with Sandman in the parking lot. He sees Siaki sitting down and demands a meeting with Glen. Siaki brings out a case of beer and has Desire sit on his lap and they make sexual references before Sandman tries to make out with her. She is horrified and this triggers a fight between Siaki and Sandman that goes into the balcony. Bert Prentice attempts to stop the fight as Sandman is beating Siaki around the arena. It ends up in the ring but the Harris Brothers and Mike Sanders run out until the Extreme Revolution run out. A giant brawl breaks out with several security guys try to break it up. Saturn gets on the announcers table and grabs the mic, challenging Gilbertti to a match tonight. Gilbertti says he will change into his gear then beat his ass. Another brawling segment between these two factions and it wasn’t very effective at all.
We are shown a video package on Jarrett speaking on various topics. He says that he has strained ligaments as a result of his title match against Raven. He talks about WCW going under and how Vince became complacent without any competition. He says you don’t have to sit through a ton of filler in order to get to the PPV. He puts over the current TNA roster and talks about the SEX vs. NWA feud and Glen Gilbertti. A time-filling segment.
Kid Kash is going crazy in the locker room, throwing shit all over the place. Tracy runs in and grabs him, stating that she wants to be treated rough and knows her place, dancing in the cage and cheering on her man. She asks him what is wrong and he says he has tendinitis in the groin as Tracy puts lotion on her hand, which turned out to be Ben Gay and rubs it on his dick. He falls down and Tracy kicks him low, saying that she is his worst nightmare. Now Kash has another woman to beat the shit out of, because one wasn’t enough.
David Young vs. Chris Harris
They take turns backing each other in the corner until Harris destroys Young in the corner. He clotheslines him to the floor then goes out and beats on him some more. Back in the ring, Harris hits a top rope crossbody block for two. They fight over a suplex and Harris wins that battle by hitting a delayed vertical suplex for two as Sonny Siaki has now made his way to the ring. He hits a Thesz Press but Siaki pulls down the ropes after an Irish whip and stomps Harris on the floor. Young goes out and beats on him for a bit until he hits a quebrada that he overshot. Back in the ring, Young gets a nearfall then grabs a chinlock. This match has been slow-paced so a chinlock spot is not what it needed. Snap suplex gets two and Young goes back to the chinlock. Harris comes back with a clothesline and a DDT but Siaki pulls the leg of the referee, disrupting his count. Full nelson slam gets two. Young flapjacks Harris then turns it into a cutter in midair and that gets two. Young stops short of running into the referee then gets speared. The ref checks on Young as Siaki runs in and hits the Siakalypse on Harris. Young is slow to make the cover and only gets two. Siaki grabs a chair and wedges it in the corner as the ref just stands there watching. James Storm runs in and superkicks Siaki over the ropes and drags him through the crowd but gets jumped by SEX and dragged into the locker room. In the ring, Harris charges and Young tosses him into the corner and that gets two. Harris dodges a moonsault and hits the catatonic for the win (11:34) **1/4. Harris then asks the announcers where his partner is and runs toward the SEX locker room where they toss out Storm, whose clothes are ripped and covered in blood.
Thoughts: An average match. Young is a solid worker but void of any personality. They put over the fact that Harris is invested in teaming with Storm.
Once again, the camera focuses on Gilbertti. He is in the SEX locker room, telling Julio and Alexis that Raven does not give a shit about them. He offers them a spot in SEX and orders that they accompany him to the ring.
Glen Gilbertti w/Julio & Alexis vs. Perry Saturn
Gilbertti slugs away but gets caught with an overhead suplex. Saturn destroys Gilbertti in the corner as Tenay talks about Raven not being under contract. Gilbertti catches Saturn with an elbow smash then uses mounted punches. He uses more of his terrible punches on Saturn before clotheslined. Tenay breaks news that Harris has taken Storm to the hospital as Saturn and Gilbertti completely botch a spot in which Gilbertti was hanging on the ropes and Saturn takes him down with a springboard. Bothe men ended up falling to the floor and I have no idea what they were going for. Saturn rams Alexis into the guardrail but gets jumped by Julio. Gilbertti sells the knee but was playing possum and clotheslines Saturn. In the ring, Gilbertti works the knee of Saturn. Saturn dodges a splash and comes back with two German suplexes. Falcon Arrow gets two. Gilbertti gets shoved into the ref and the Gathering come in and attempt to hurt Saturn. After Saturn slams Alexis to the mat, Gilbertti hits a stunner that gets two. Saturn comes back with a backslide but walks into another stunner and Gilbertti scores the pin (6:29) ¾*.
Thoughts: A nothing match and this further exposed that Gilbertti does not have the offense that works in the main event spot. His brawling his horrendous. These guys really didn’t work well together either.
Goldylocks is with D’Lo Brown and AJ Styles. They declare that TNA is there home as AJ says that he didn’t turn down a WWE deal for nothing. He calls SEX a “bunch of nobodies” and says that XXX is at the top of their list.
Tenay and West talk about the whereabouts of Sabu and Raven then plug a PPV where you can catch up on the entire history of TNA on PPV for $4.95. West says that Jarrett will be there next week, which was the only thing announced for next week.
Tag-Team Championship Match
XXX (Champions) vs. AJ Styles & D’Lo Brown
Daniels and Skipper are representing XXX tonight. They jump the faces to start but get taken out easily. D’Lo holds AJ up for a sideslam and AJ hits a springboard leg drop for two. D’Lo catches a charging Daniels with a heel kick and tags AJ. They double team Daniels for a bit then AJ hits a clothesline. AJ gets whipped near Skipper but takes him down with a baseball slide then Daniels uses a basement dropkick on him. Everything has been fast-paced and crisp so far. AJ gets sent to the floor and XXX double-team him behind the ref’s back. Daniels gets two off an STO then places AJ on the ropes as Skipper takes him off with the ropewalk rana. Slingshot twisting press gets two. They distract the ref to beat on AJ as Daniels puts him in an abdominal stretch. AJ escapes then murders him with a sitout powerbomb. He tags D’Lo and he cleans house. Sudden Impact on Daniels gets two as Skipper breaks up the pin attempt. D’Lo hits him with a stunner out of a vertical suplex but Daniels breaks up that attempt. Double chop on Daniels and they try another move but Ki drags AJ outside and Daniels hits D’Lo with a flatliner and then puts him in the Koji Clutch. Ki beats on AJ outside the ring. D’Lo fights out of the Angel’s Wings and AJ hits him with a springboard dropkick. AJ kicks him to the floor then D’Lo backdrops AJ onto Daniels and Ki on the floor. Skipper gets tossed outside as D’Lo flies out with a plancha as the crowd starts a “TNA” chant. They counter each other’s move then AJ hits an invereted DDT. Gilberrtti runs in as AJ goes for the Styles Clash and Gilbertti botches a stunner on AJ before Daniels school boys him and grabs the tights for the pin (8:54) ***1/4.
Thoughts: This was great and all action. It easily could have been a **** match if given more time. AJ and D’Lo really worked great as a team.
After the match, SEX goess backstage and beats up everyone in sight, including resident dipshit Bill Behrens and David Webber, who was Mortimer Plumtree and called both names by Tenay. In the ring, XXX destroys AJ and D’Lo. The New Church run towards SEX backstage but get taken out as well. Gilbertti smiles and smokes a cigar, happy about all the chaos that SEX has caused.
Final Thoughts: This whole show was about Glen Gilbertti. They tried hard to present him as a credible main-eventer and a threat to the Heavyweight Title but it didn’t work. Gilbertti’s ring work is that of a mid-carder and the crowd still sees him as Disco Inferno. I’ll give him credit for doing okay with his new character but having him in the main event is not acceptable.
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