The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 08.10.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 08.10.91

Taped from Edmonton, AB on 07.09.91

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage & Roddy Piper

Big Bossman v. Mike Starr

Yup, Bossman opens yet another WWF Superstars episode in 1991. Starr tries to throw punches in the corner and Bossman puts him down while we get an inset from the Mountie, who lays out all the humiliation that Bossman is going to face after losing the Jailhouse Match. That’s called foreshadowing. Bossman whips Starr into the corner and follows with a big boot while demanding the CANADIAN MOUNTIE. And the Bossman slam finishes at 2:12.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Oh man, let’s take a look at the meeting of Hogan, Warrior and Sid last week as Gene tries to get “Corps of Destruction” over as a nickname for Slaughter’s group. Well that didn’t happen. And we get a supplementary promo from Hogan and Warrior, who threaten to kill Sid Justice and leave his dead body in a pit of skeletons if he doesn’t call the match down the middle.

The Beverly Brothers v. Brian Jewel & Louie Spicoli

The Bevs toss Spicoli and beat on him outside, and then back in for a double hiptoss to hurl him across the ring. Over to Jewel, and Blake hits him with a powerslam before they finish with the Shaker Heights Spike at 1:30.

IRS v. Chi Chi Cruz

Second appearance for poor Chi Chi on these tapings, as Irwin hits him with forearms and drops an elbow on him. IRS with a facelock while we get an inset from Greg Valentine, and the Write Off finishes at 1:45.

The British Bulldog v. Tim Patterson

Bulldog clotheslines him and follows with the delayed suplex, and then hits him with a corner clothesline and finishes with the powerslam at 1:51.

The Nasty Boys v. Doug Casen & Ken Johnson

Kenny Johnson was a Stampede trainee who ended up sticking around the business for a long time but never broke out. Nasties with the Pit Stop on him and Knobs runs him into the corner. Over to Casen, and Knobs gets the corner splash and powerslam to finish at 2:35, as we are not even blessed with the Shitty Elbow here. Sags had a cast on his arm here and was barely in the match so I’m assuming he was legit injured at the tapings.

Meanwhile, Jake Roberts continues his instruction of the Dark Side with Warrior. This week, they’re in a graveyard, and Jake makes Warrior dig up a grave and pull out the skull of some poor dead guy. And then Jake is like “Well, now I’ve gotta bury you with this soil” and Warrior is like “Well, I guess I trust you because this sounds totally legit!” And then we cut to Warrior buried up his eyeballs and staring at the skull. Man Warrior was gullible.

SUMMERSLAM REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

Gene is impressed with Jake’s thorough training of the Warrior, and he confirms that Warrior is still alive and well after getting buried alive in the previous segment. We of course hear from Bret Hart, who is ready for THE SUMMERSLAM, plus the Bushwhackers and Natural Disasters.

Ted Dibiase v. Bobby Jones

Dibiase hits him with a clothesline and drops the fist, followed by a suplex as Savage predicts that Virgil wins the Million Dollar Belt and then pawns it and goes broke in three days. That’s a lot of Olive Garden breadsticks. Dibiase tosses the geek and back in for the powerslam, and the Million Dollar Dream finishes at 2:10.

Meanwhile…HOLY SHIT it’s Bobby Heenan with the BIG GOLD BELT! Bobby points out that the holder of that belt is currently under contract to “another organization”, and compared to this man, Hulk Hogan is horse manure. And his name is the REAL World’s champion…RIC FLAIR!

NEXT WEEK: Texas Tornado! The Berzerker! Jimmy Snuka! More on RIC FLAIR!

Well that was quite the bombshell to end this episode with. Also there’s something on this Thursday that they keep hyping, which I’m assuming is the Summerslam Spectacular show, so I’ll have to review that as well.