The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 08.03.91

The SmarK Rant for WWF Superstars – 08.03.91

The slow march to Summerslam 91 continues. Apparently there’s also one of those “Summerslam Spectacular” shows I need to review pretty soon, too.

Taped from Edmonton, AB on 07.09.91.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon, Randy Savage & Roddy Piper

The Rockers v. Ed Moretti & Mike Roselli

Marty takes Moretti down with an armdrag while Piper and Savage try to remember if they ever faced each other in the WWF. And although they both conclude that it’s never happened before, the actual answer is that YES, they did face each other dozens of times, both in 1986 and then again in 1990. Over to Roselli, who tries to beat on Marty in the corner, but misses a blind charge and gets tossed as a result. Marty whips Shawn into him for a clothesline as the announcers discuss the bachelor party. “I don’t want the Rockers there, they’re too good looking. I don’t want anyone good looking there. Piper and McMahon, you guys can come.” Double team splash finishes at 2:25.

UPDATE! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND! BROUGHT TO YOU BY BODYBUILDING LIFESTYLES MAGAZINE!

Last week, on the Funeral Parlor, Jake Roberts pledged to share the secrets of the dark side with the Ultimate Warrior. So we get our first vignette based on that, as Jake does some immersion therapy by putting Warrior back in the same coffin he was trapped in earlier. Warrior is notably hestitant, but Jake talks him through it and gets him to accept his fate and lay down in the coffin. And Jake keeps repeating “Trust me” and then slams the lid on him and locks it. That probably should have been a bad sign from the start. So then Jake opens it up again and Warrior does a creepy zombie situp like the Undertaker and stares at the camera. Back at the studio, Gene interprets this to mean that the influence of Jake Roberts is having a “positive effect” on the Warrior. OK sure we’ll go with that.

The Dragon v. The Brooklyn Brawler

The announcers discuss Warrior’s trust issues, and Savage notes that “he’s from that DTA school – Don’t Trust Anybody”. Vince: “DTA, huh?” Guess he’ll have to file that one away for later. Steamboat chops him down and goes up with the flying chop and then quickly finishes with the flying bodypress at 0:54.

The Natural Disasters v. Stan Saxson & Doug Casen

Piper notes that this is the first earthquake in Edmonton, and first typhoon, although notably not the first natural disaster since we had a bad tornado in 89. Plus of course the icebergs that roam the streets in lawless icy gangs. They double-team one of the geeks while the announcers discuss Macho’s best man situation, and the double squish finishes at 2:10. Now, my timeline is likely off on this based on airdates, but I recall at the time that I had just watched the Tugboat turn on TV, and then immediately got what I thought was their debut here as the Disasters on this taping. As it turned out, it wasn’t actually their debut but I was a dumb kid.

Hulk Hogan & Ultimate Warrior join Mean Gene for a special interview, although the Jake storyline was infinitely more interesting. They really should have done Hogan & Warrior v. Slaughter & Undertaker instead. Hogan goes overboard with the military metaphors as usual, and then Gene brings out Sid Justice to discuss his role as special referee, and they all pose together. Feels like he might be a little biased.

The Undertaker v. Brian Jewel

Taker beats Jewel down with clubbing forearms and smothers him on the ropes before following with a back suplex. And the tombstone finishes at 1:10.

SUMMERSLAM REPORT! WITH MEAN GENE OKERLUND!

This week we hear from the LOD and Nasty Boys, plus Mr. Perfect and Bret Hart. And of course, Dibiase and Virgil and Bossman and Mountie. Man they really had too much promotion time for this show.

Sgt. Slaughter v. Larry Williams & Bob Jones

Slaughter beats the one guy down and pins him at 0:50 and then beats the other guy down, hits him with a flying knee that misses by two feet, and then adds a backbreaker and finishes with the camel clutch at 2:00. And we get double camel clutches from the heels and hopefully they don’t high five to give us a weird Eiffel Tower situation.

NEXT WEEK: IRS! Big Bossman! More with Jake and Warrior and their wacky road trip to the dark side! Ted Dibiase! Nasty Boys!

This taping SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS. And yes I know there’s something big coming up soon but it didn’t happen in the arena.