The SmarK Rant for WWE Crown Jewel Perth 2025 – 10.11.25

The SmarK Rant for WWE Crown Jewel Perth – 10.11.25

Originally written 10.12.25

Live from Perth, Australia. The name of the show makes no sense in context but at least it’s not in Saudi Arabia.

By the way, I HIGHLY recommend watching the Netflix replays of these on the next day, as they cut out ALL of the bullshit commercials and padding. It feels like a real PPV again that way.

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Wade Barrett

Australian Street Fight: Bronson Reed v. Roman Reigns

Roman jerking the curtain? Everything really is upside down in Australia! Apparently you can use anything you want in the match. Does that include dingoes? This crowd is very very hot and they slug it out to start, with Roman running him into the corners a few times and then slugging away on him. Reed ends up on the floor and Roman hits him with the Drive By and then punches him into the crowd for a brawl out there. They do a walkabout in the arena and Roman finds a rugby ball to use as a weapon, and then also procures a cricket bat and gives him a shot with that. Man and people think I do cheap Australian jokes. Bronson runs him into the post and finds a kendo stick, but Roman wins that battle and then asks the crowd if they want the tables. But then Reed, who clearly is a heel in 2025, puts the table back under the ring to show how evil he is. Reed beats on Roman with the stairs instead and then beats on him with chairs in the ring. But then Roman turns the tables with a samoan drop on the chair, for two. Roman fights back with clotheslines on the ropes and puts him down with another clothesline, but Reed catches the superman punch and turns it into a death valley driver for two. Reed beats on him with a Stop sign (Crowd: “Read the sign!”) and puts Roman onto it with a uranage for two. Reed misses a senton and then runs into his own chair, and Roman hits him with the superman punch for two. Reed runs away from the spear, but Bron Breakker runs out of the audience and hits Roman with his own spear, setting up a Shield Bomb through the announce table. And now it is time for the SLIM JIMS TABLE, as Bronson sets it up in the corner, but the Usos make the save and superkick everyone. But then Bron recovers and takes out Jey before spearing Jimmy through the barricade. This all gives Roman the chance to recover and hit Bronson with the superman punch, but he goes after Breakker, and accidentally walks into a spear from Main Event Jey, through the table, and the Tsunami finishes at 21:02. About time Roman starting putting people over, to be honest. Match was a fine brawl before the Bloodline stuff slowed it down and turned it into an overbooked TV match. ***1/2. Honestly it would be kind of wild if they felt like they needed to turn Jey heel after building him into a giant babyface at the beginning of this year.

Women’s Crown Jewel title: Stephanie Vaquer v. Tiffany Stratton

They trade takedowns to start and Stephanie goes to work on the arm before Tiffy rolls her up for two. Tiffy misses the handspring and Vaquer bootwashes her in the corner and superkicks her for two. Vaquer with a legdrop for two and she catches a kick and turns it into a wacky submission hold, but Tiffy escapes with a back suplex and it’s a double down. Tiffy with an Alabama Slam out of a handspring, which gets two. Vaquer catches another kick in the corner and takes her down with a dragon screw to take over again, and a double knee gets two. Stephanie misses a springboard and Tiffy catches her with a backbreaker for two. She goes up and Vaquer brings her down with a suplex, but Tiffy gets a rollup for two. To the top, but a swanton misses and Vaquer hits her with the Devil’s Kiss and a backbreaker gets two. Tiffany with another trip to the top and another moonsault misses, and Vaquer finishes with the Spiral Tap at 10:10. That was kind of underwhelming to be honest. They didn’t have great chemistry and it just kind of ended abruptly. ***. Still good, but not on the level of the Iyo Sky match or anything.

Meanwhile, Paul Heyman puts over Bron and Bron and tells them not to help Seth Rollins, even if he flails his arms desperately and begs them to help.

John Cena v. AJ Styles

While we’re here, someone emailed to ask about my thoughts on Peacemaker season 2, and I’ve gotta say that it really made me like Cena as an actor more than the Rock right now, which is saying something. Much like others, I did find that the finale was a bit too much of a talking piece, with too many musical numbers and not enough super-heroing for a show that was already lacking in action set pieces over 8 episodes. Episode 7 was the clear standout of the season and they probably could have ended things there instead of doing a bunch of happy endings and then ripping it all away in the final scene again. It also shows that being true to the comics is not necessarily the key to success, because comic book Peacemaker is a boring drag, and so is comic book Vigilante, and in the show they’re drastically different characters and drastically better characters. But dammit, Adrian needs to be nicer to his mom. Also “bird blindness” is on the of the best one-off jokes that set up an amazing punchline later in the episode and you can’t take that away from the show. Also “You think I got this buff reading books?” No notes. The big question of course is “which intro is better” and I’ll say that Foxy Shazam now resides in my Spotify playlists and Wig Wam never made it there, so that’s my vote. Anyway, the season was great, but the only criticism I would offer is that I wanted more Peacemaker and less Christopher Smith, and if we ever get a third season I hope that’s what happens.

To the match!

The overblown introductions here are really good pro wrestling cheese, lending an important feel to an otherwise meaningless match. AJ works a headlock to start and Cena reverses to his own, but AJ dropkicks out of it as the crowd chants “TNA”. AJ takes him down with a snapmare and follows with the sliding elbow for two, and a second one gets two. But Cena quickly goes for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, and it turns that AJ CAN see him and escapes it. So Cena hits another slam and hits it on the second try, and the AA gets two. AJ drops him with the ushigoroshi as Cole namedrops Mauro Renallo, and then Cena hits a Skull Crushing Finale for two. Cena goes up and AJ brings him down with a rack bomb for two. AJ with an inverted DDT for two. AJ with a crossface and John rolls him into a camel clutch in another fun tribute. AJ reverses that into a Coquina clutch and he tries to roll into a calf crusher, but John blocks him with the Walls of Jericho. Some very wacky deep cuts here and you gotta love it. AJ reverses to the calf crusher and Cena reverses to the STF, so AJ pays tribute to Will Ospreay with the Styles Clash. That gets two. AJ with the springboard forearm, but Cena catches him with Sister Abigail for two. See, Cena clearly CAN wrestle. This gives the crowd a chance to pay tribute to Bray, but AJ gets an Angel’s Wings for two.

Cena teases a Pedigree, but AJ counters with a Deadeye and it’s a double down. Sadly Michael Cole can’t name THAT move. That gets two for AJ. Cena with the draping DDT and he follows with an RKO, which gets two. I also love that they duplicated the camera moves as well. Cena tries the punt and misses, and Styles gets his own AA for two. Wade calls it “Like when you make your own character on a video game and give him everyone’s finishing move”. So AJ teases a five knuckle shuffle, but Cena throttles him and hits a chokeslam for two. And then the crowd starts calling for moves like it’s Damian 666 or something, asking for a 619. And then Cena OBLIGES with the setup, but AJ escapes with a clothesline in a funny spot that pisses off the crowd. That’s tremendous. Styles with a 450 to setup Sweet Chin Music, and that gets two. Springboard forearm gets two. AJ elbows out of an AA attempt, but Cena powers up and hits it on the second try for two. To the top, but AJ fights out of that situation and comes down with a flying bodypress. But Cena catches him and rolls through, into a tombstone, and then another AA to finish at 27:30. This was the kind of stuff he should have been doing all along instead of wasting our time with the stupid heel turn and the Brock match. *****. Once again, sometimes wrestling is THE BEST when it’s just two guys having fun. Like what was supposed to be fun about watching Cena get squashed by Brock in 8 minutes last month?

Rhea Ripley & Iyo Sky v. Asuka & Kairi Sane

Rhea of course gets a giant reaction despite her mostly aimless year so far. The Kabukis immediately toss Rhea and go after Iyo, but Rhea makes the save and it’s a brawl. This gives us an Asuka-Iyo showdown, as Iyo slugs away with elbows on the ropes and puts the boots to her. Asuka bails to escape and Iyo hits her with a dive, but she gets distracted by Kairi and sent into the post by Asuka. Back in the ring, the Warriors double-team Iyo with kicks and cut off the ring. Rhea gets lured in and that allows the heels to beat Iyo down in the corner, but Iyo fights them off until Sane hangs her into the Tree of Woe and hits a double stomp out of the corner for two. Asuka pounds her with kicks, but Iyo gets all fired up and scary and it’s hot tag Rhea. She runs wild with a faceplant on Kairi for two, but Kairi takes her down with a headscissors and the sliding D. Back to Asuka, who hits Rhea with a shining wizard for two. Rhea comes back with a Razor’s Edge on Kairi to set up a missile dropkick from Iyo, and that gets two. But then the heels cut off Sane again and Kairi goes up, so Sky brings her down with an armdrag. The Kabukis regroup and send Rhea into the stairs outside, but Iyo comes back on Kairi again with the running knees and the moonsault for two. Asuka saves, so Rhea sends her to the floor and sets up a Doomsday Device, which Kairi turns into a rollup for two. Asuka with the backfist and Sane comes in with the Insane elbow for two. Everyone trades kicks and it’s a double down. Rhea is up first and she slugs it out with Asuka before dropping her on the top turnbuckle to set up the Riptide, but Sane tags herself in to save. So she takes the Riptide instead, and Iyo adds the moonsault for the pin at 19:49. Weird to beat Asuka already but Rhea going over in Australia was pretty much required. Really good tag match, even though they couldn’t really follow the Cena match and never it really achieved greatness. ***1/2

Crown Jewel Men’s title: Cody Rhodes v. Seth Rollins

Again, the Cena heel run as champion feels like such an unneeded sidetrack for Cody in what should have been an uniterrupted title run for him. We get a lot of stalling from Seth to start and they slug it out before Cody clotheslines him to the floor. Seth gets distracted by the announcers, so Cody attacks him and preps the announce table, only for Seth to run him into the stairs and DUMP OVER THE PRIME TABLE. That’s like $18 in product gone to waste! Seth drops him on the railing and back in for two. Back suplex gets two. Clothesline out of the corner gets two. Seth works on the arm, sending Cody to the floor, and back in with a neckbreaker for two. Cody fights back and Seth takes him down with a dragon screw and gives us some Stardust action. Cody fights off the Flip Flop and Fly, but Seth takes him down with a figure-four and Cody has to fight out of that. Cody reverses and Seth makes the ropes and bails to the apron. They slug it out there and Cody brings him back in with a Vertebreaker and makes a comeback, which sends Seth to the floor and sets up a Cody dive. Back in with the Cody Cutter for two. Seth escapes the Crossroads and blocks a disaster kick with a Pedigree for two. Cody tries Crossroads and Seth reverses to his own Crossroads for two. Seth goes up and misses the Phoenix splash, but Seth also misses the Cody Cutter, and Seth hits the Pedigree and curb stomp for two. So next up, Seth grabs the TIMEX OF DOOM from ringside, but can’t pull the trigger, and that allows Cody to come back with a cody cutter into a Crossroads for two. Cody goes up and gets crotched as Seth hangs him in the Tree of Woe and puts the boots to him, setting up a Coast to Coast dropkick for two. To the top rope again, but this time Seth gets a Spanish Fly to bring him down, and that gets two. Back to the top, but this time Cody brings him down with a top rope Crossroads, and that’s gotta be the finish, but it actually gets two. Hard disagree with pulling that out if that’s not gonna end things. They slug it out and Seth grabs the watch for a second time, but the ref gets bumped and that allows Seth to actually use it without fear this time. Well you know they say, Father Time is undefeated. And Rollins hits him with the curb stomp before going up with a flying version, and that finishes at 29:40. And so he wins the Crown Jewel title, which means basically nothing but they had another excellent match in their series of them. ****1/2

I’d comfortably call this my favorite WWE PPV of the year so far, with two excellent matches and three good ones. Plus the commercials and ads seemed very toned down or even gone completely from most of the show, which made this a much easier watch than the last few. Strong thumbs up.