The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 12.14.91

The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 12.14.91

We are nearing the end of 1991 WCW and I have mixed feelings about it.

Taped from Macon, GA

Your host is Tony Schiavone

Rick Steiner v. Sonny Trout

Rick quickly smashes him with a Steinerline and runs him into the corner before hitting an overhead belly to belly. To the top for another belly to belly and that finishes at 1:20.

WCW This Week with special guest Marcus Alexander Bagwell, who is training with Mike Graham and gosh he’s humble. Whatever happened to that nice boy from Sprayberry High in Georgia?

Johnny B. Badd v. Jim Boss

Badd is now a babyface without Teddy Long, although the crowd doesn’t quite know it yet because this was probably taped before the turn happened. Badd takes Boss down and gives him a spanking before following with a backdrop. And he hits Boss with the TUTTI FRUTTI FRESH AND FRUITY PUNCH OF DOOM for the pin at 1:30. OK they didn’t add the “fresh and fruity” part but I think it flows better. So this brings out Long, who threatens Badd with future pain and trouble, although really nothing ever happened and Badd just kind of went off and did his own thing.

Special Six Man Tag Team Event: Big Josh, PN News and Arachniman v. Beautiful Bobby, Stunning Steve and Average Arn

That babyface team is like a beautifully whacked distillation of WCW 1991. We’ve got a lumberjack, a white rapper, and a legally distinct superhero ripoff (OUR LAWYERS CAN’T STRESS THAT ENOUGH!) and still can’t draw money and we just can’t nail down the reason why. Arachniman runs wild on Bobby in a way that is similar to, but legally distinct from, anything done by any other spider-related hero real or fictional, past or present. Austin comes in and slugs on PN News, as Tony informs us that many people call Steve “The Wrestling Machine”. Are those people in the room with us, Tony? Steve charges and runs into a clothesline and retreats to the corner for some advice from Paul E. That advice? “I’ve got a great idea for a wrestling promotion where no one gets paid and they all hit each other with chairs.” Sounds like a bunch of violent crap to me, but OK. Hopefully Paul wasn’t paying the Dangerous Alliance by cheque. Josh comes in and works on Bobby in the corner and actually HITS a blind charge, but then he tries it again and Austin pulls Bobby out of the way this time. So AA goes to work on the arm, and that’s his AXE-SWINGING arm so it’s also hurting his side gig. Austin puts the boots to Josh and runs his shoulder into the corner again. He might be a lumberjack, but he’s not OK! Luckily it’s hot tag to Arachniman, who does whatever a spider can legally do without infringing on anyone’s intellectual property, but he collides with Arn and Bobby comes off the top with the Alabama Jam for the pin at 10:55. **1/2

WRESTLING NEWS NETWORK! WITH GORDON SOLIE!

Hey kids, Jushin Thunder Liger is on the way to WCW. Let’s take a look at him doing cool flying moves. Hopefully he gets a chance to shine and doesn’t have to deal with management switching to a leader who only wants mat-based bruisers and realistic gimmicks. Because that would suck for him. But I’m sure he’s fine.

Oh also Starrcade 91 is coming up. There’s no main event for it but you should buy it anyway, sheep.

Dustin Rhodes & Ricky Steamboat v. Greg Sawyer & Buddy Lee Parker

Rhodes with a dropkick and he works the arm, and it’s over to Steamboat for some chops and his own arm work. If this gets posted after the Summerslam Spectacular rant then I’ve already made the Chris Hero joke there and I won’t repeat it here and waste your valuable reading time. I have far too much respect for you, the reader. Over to Sawyer and Dustin hits him with a lariat. The champs with a double elbow and Steamboat sets up Dustin to finish with the bulldog at 3:00. Steamboat had great jobber control there, doubling him over with a chop and then hitting him with another chop to stand him up again. You have to control your jobber or they might turn on you and bite you. I hope he got a nice jobber treat in the dressing room afterwards and a good brushing. WHO’S A GOOD BOY? HIM’S A GOOD BOY!

Special Challenge Match: Sting v. Mr. Hughes

Sadly this is not a SUBMIT OR SUSPENDERS match because Hughes would clearly be perfect for that. Sting blitzes him to start and goes up for a flying splash, but Hughes gets the knee up and goes to work on Sting’s bum knee. Hughes drops an elbow on the knee and does what looks like a leg massage. Tony: “There’s more than just little Stingers! There’s big Stingers!” Who says this show isn’t educational? Hughes keeps stomping on the knee, but Sting fights back with a backdrop and Hughes kicks him in the knee again a few times. Sting comes back with the Stingzuigiri and puts Hughes in a figure-four and oh my how the turns have tabled. Hughes reverses and makes the ropes, but he charges and misses and Sting gets a sunset flip for nothing because Hughes is in the ropes. But then Hughes goes for a slam and Sting falls on top of him for the pin at 7:30. If you want two guys kicking each other in the knee for 7 minutes have I got the match for you.

And we hear from Paul E and Madusa to wrap up the show.

One episode left in the year and then we bid farewell to 1991 and move onto another project!