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The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 11.23.91

By Scott Keith on 29 September 2026

The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 11.23.91

Taped from Gainesville, GA on 11.05.91 best I can tell, unless they’re just repurposing matches from the Power Hour or something. Seems likely given it’s just Tony on a green screen for all his shots.

Your host is Tony Schiavone

BREAKING NEWS: Ravishing Rick Rude has debuted and is already the new US champion after the Clash of Champions!

Big Van Vader v. Mike McReynolds

They found the goofiest skinny jobber possible for Vader to destroy here. Mike attacks to start and Vader just clubs him down and then levels him with a short clothesline. Press slam into a powerslam gets two and he stiffs the guy with a forearm before going to the top. So the jobber is laying there waiting to take a splash, but then stands up and Vader hits him with a clothesline instead before finishing with a uranage at 2:08. Looked like some crossed signals there.

Meanwhile, the Patriots don’t have “submit or surrender” in their dictionary. Well that’s because they’re dummies. Also we’re gonna find out who the JERK is.

Ravishing Rick Rude v. Johnny Rich

Rude doesn’t have the US title with him because it hadn’t happened yet when this was taped, of course. Rude beats on Rich with forearms and hits him with a slam before giving us some hip swivels and then a series of backbreakers. Rude misses a blind charge and Rich tries a comeback, but Rude hits him with an atomic drop and goes to a neck vice. Meanwhile, Paul E yells about how Rich “looks just like Sting”, which I’m skeptical about. And the Rude Awakening finishes at 2:14. Bringing in Rude was an immediate shot in the arm for this company.

Meanwhile, Paul and Rude (now with the US title) rant about how they’ve destroyed the dreams of all the little kids in the children’s hospitals by winning the US title from Sting without even breaking a sweat. Good, those kids were probably faking their “terminal illness” anyway. Bunch of freeloaders.

Steve Austin & Arn Anderson v. Bobby Eaton & Dustin Rhodes

Tony catches us up on storyline developments that happened on another show, explaining that this match was taped before Eaton turned on Dustin on another show and joined the Dangerous Alliance. I feel like this show is assembled in the editing room by running the tape through a blender and just splicing things together in whatever order they fall. Dustin and Bobby work on Austin’s arm, and it’s over to Arn while Tony dances around the World tag team title change at the Clash because WCW legal was still making sure they could use Ricky Steamboat without getting sued. Dustin with a sleeper on Arn, but Arn reverses, so Dustin escapes with a jawbreaker and the faces go to work on the arm again. Back to Austin, and Dustin goes for his arm too and then controls by yanking on his long blond hair. Man, Austin should think about changing his hairstyle to prevent people from doing that. Bobby and Dustin double-team Austin while Tony gives us the narrative about Bobby not tagging into the match very much and not being trustworthy. Why not just let us WATCH THE MATCH and see for ourselves? The faces pinball Austin in the corner, but Bobby gets distracted by Arn Anderson on the apron and that allows Austin to drop Dustin on the top rope for two. Arn drops a knee on him for two. Dustin crawls for a tag but Bobby short-arms him and allows the heels to retain control. So Bobby “accidentally” distracts the ref and Dustin still can’t tag, but finally Dustin lunges over and tags in Eaton for a big brawl. Arn runs Dustin into the post and the heels go to work on Bobby now, but Bobby escapes and finds that Dustin isn’t there to tag him. Bobby makes his own comeback and then brings in Dustin and hits his own partner with a shoulderbreaker before walking out, allowing Austin to pin Dustin at 9:30. The narrative was all over the place here, with the actual finish being that Eaton got disgusted by Dustin not being there for him to make the tag, but they inserted heavy-handed “Eaton was planning this all along” commentary to fit the narrative they wanted. It wasn’t a great turn, and the match wasn’t great either. *1/2

PN News v. Mean Mark Canterbury

News’s rapping actually gets a little bit better this week. Of course the jobber here is the more important story, with the debut of the future Henry Godwinn. News hits him with a suplex while Tony references a “Wrestling News Network” segment that was apparently cut from this episode and didn’t air. News hits Mark with a clothesline and a belly to belly to set up the Broken Record splash at 2:14.

Speaking of broken records, it’s THE WCW TOP TEN!

  1. Ravishing Rick Rude
  2. Rick Steiner
  3. Sting
  4. Steve Austin
  5. Dustin Rhodes
  6. Hughes
  7. Scott Steiner
  8. Cactus Jack
  9. Big Van Vader
  10. PN News

SWIFTIES, WE NEED TO TALK.

Taylor Swift has once again communicated with her fans through a series of cryptic Easter eggs, and somehow the mainstream media has completely missed the most obvious one: The November 1991 WCW Top Ten. Coincidence? Absolutely not. Let’s decode it.

  1. RAVISHING RICK RUDE

“Ravishing.” Taylor is telling us the album will be visually beautiful. “Rick.” Four letters. “Rude.” Four letters. 4 + 4 = 8. Taylor Swift was born in 1989. 1989 – 8 = 1981. Rick Rude debuted professionally in 1982. ONE YEAR OFF. Which is exactly the sort of intentional imperfection Taylor uses to throw us off the trail.

  1. RICK STEINER

Another Rick. Two Ricks in the first two positions. RICK + RICK. RR. What comes after RR? SS. Taylor Swift. TS. Not the same letters, obviously, but if you rotate them emotionally, they’re basically identical. Also, Steiner means “stone” in German. Taylor is telling us the album is SET IN STONE.

  1. STING

This one is almost insultingly obvious. Sting is a singer. Taylor Swift is a singer. But Sting is also something a bee does. Bees make honey. “Honey” is a Taylor Swift song. WE HAVE ENTERED THE HONEYVERSE.

  1. STEVE AUSTIN

Austin. Texas. What number does everyone associate with Steve Austin? 3:16. March 16. 3 + 16 = 19. Taylor has 19 letters in— Okay, she doesn’t. But TAYLOR SWIFT + STEVE AUSTIN contains 22 letters if you count spaces incorrectly. “22.” WAKE UP.

  1. DUSTIN RHODES

Dustin Rhodes is the son of Dusty Rhodes. Dusty. Dust. What happens when something gathers dust? It has been sitting there FOR A LONG TIME. VAULT TRACKS. Taylor is explicitly telling us that unreleased material is coming. Also Dustin eventually became Goldust. Gold. Taylor has gone gold many times. This is frankly getting embarrassing for the skeptics.

  1. MR. HUGHES

Mr. Mister. MISTER = MR. Hughes. Sounds like “hues.” Different hues. COLORS. Taylor Swift albums have colors. Red. Literally an album called Red. MR. HUGHES CONFIRMS RED (TAYLOR’S VERSION) (TAYLOR’S VERSION). You heard it here first.

  1. SCOTT STEINER

Now we reach the mathematical portion of the puzzle. Scott Steiner. Steiner Math. The numbers don’t lie. Taylor knows this. If Taylor has a 50% chance of releasing an album, but then you add Kurt Angle to the mix, her chances drastic go down. However: Taylor KNOWS she can beat Kurt Angle. So she’s got a 66 2/3% chance of releasing Reputation (Taylor’s Version). But Taylor has ALSO got a 75% chance of releasing her debut album. 66 2/3 + 75 = 141 2/3. Divide by 13. 10.8974358974. November 10. THE RELEASE DATE HAS BEEN SITTING IN FRONT OF US SINCE 1991.

  1. CACTUS JACK

Cactus. Desert. Jack. Jack Antonoff. Taylor is informing us that Jack Antonoff will produce an album recorded entirely in the desert. Unless “Jack” refers to Jack Perry. In which case Taylor Swift is All Elite. Sources differ.

  1. BIG VAN VADER

Vader. Darth Vader. Star Wars. Disney owns Star Wars. Taylor released the Eras Tour movie through Disney+. BIG VAN VADER = DISNEY+ CONFIRMATION. But wait. Vader wore a mask. What do masks conceal? IDENTITIES. What identities does Taylor conceal? ALTER EGOS. What alter ego is still missing? That’s right. TAYLOR SWIFT IS A SECRET MEMBER OF THE DANGEROUS ALLIANCE.

  1. PN NEWS

This is the clincher. PN News says “Yo baby, yo baby, yo.” Three yos. YO YO YO. Three. Taylor’s lucky number is 13. 13 – 3 = 10. PN News is ranked #10. 10 + 3 = 13. THIRTEEN. GAME OVER. There is no possible alternative interpretation.

CONCLUSION:

The WCW Top Ten definitively reveals that Taylor Swift’s next project will contain vault tracks, involve Jack Antonoff, feature at least one song about bees, be released on November 10, somehow involve Darth Vader, include a spoken-word Scott Steiner mathematics interlude, and conclude with PN News rapping “Yo Baby Yo Baby Yo” over the emotional reprise of Track 5.

Taylor has been planning this since 1991. She was one year old.

Which makes it even more impressive.

SUBMIT OR SURRENDER: Larry Zbyszko v. Chip the Firebreaker (aka Firebreaker Chip)

Chip runs Larry into the corner and hits him with a back suplex while his suspenders trip him up. So I guess it’s a SUBMIT OR SUSPENDERS match. Thank you, I’m here until artificial intelligence finds a way to replace me. Chip with a devastating abdominal stretch, but Larry makes the ropes, so Chip powerslams him and forgets that it’s SUBMIT OR SUSPENDERS so there’s no pin. Chip with a bearhug and still can’t get a submission, so he goes to a Boston crab and Larry makes the ropes. Chip with a sleeper and they tumble to the floor off that. I mean, at least Chip is trying to actually win the match according to the rules set out by the stips. I’ll give him that. Back in the ring, Chip with a suplex and he goes to a chinlock, but Larry kicks him to the floor again. Back in the ring, Larry immediately backdrops him over the top and then goes to work on the knee that was injured on the landing. And Larry puts him in a toehold, but Chip cradles to counter and there’s still no pins. So Larry takes him down in a half crab and cranks on that while holding the ropes, and Chip apparently DOES have surrender in his dictionary because he gives up at 6:34. I’d say this one was probably the most faithful to the concept of the match, if we’re being honest. **1/2

NEXT WEEK: Big Josh v. Terrence Taylor in a SUBMIT OR SURRENDER match!