The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 06.22.91

The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 06.22.91

Originally written 04.14.26

Turns out the missing episode was available via someone else, so I don’t have to miss the super important title match headlining this one.

Taped from Birmingham, AL on 06.03.91

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Gordon Solie

Meanwhile, at the Clash of Champions, Richard Morton joins the York Foundation and turns on Robert Gibson while wearing a nice suit.

PN News v. Carl Nelson

Carl is from NORWAY and he has the moustache to prove it. News gets a sunset flip and then does some forward rolls on Carl before hitting him with a dropkick. News with a clothesline and corner splash and he goes up to finish with the RAPMASTER SPLASH at 2:15. Well no Nobel prize for this match.

Meanwhile, at the Clash, the Hardliners debut and attack the Steiner Brothers, resulting in a bicep injury to Scott Steiner that puts him out of action for quite a few months. Although this was an interesting case of retconning a storyline, since Scott actually suffered the injury a couple of days after the show and they just went back and said the Hardliners caused it here. Murdoch and Slater were an interesting combo but the team never went anywhere in particular, as they lost their spot to the Enforcers by the time Scot got back.

Stunning Steve Austin v. Scott Sandlin

Steve quickly hits Sandlin with a stungun on the middle rope, and then he clotheslines the guy and pins him at 0:17. Way to botch your finisher in your Worldwide debut. That poor fucker bounced off the ropes like a ragdoll there.

GREAT AMERICAN BASH CONTROL CENTER! WITH PAUL E. DANGEROUSLY!

Yup, the main event is still Ric Flair defending the World title in a cage match against Lex Luger, and that seems set in stone and unlikely to change for any reason whatsoever. Plus Sting faces Nikita Koloff in a Russian chain match, as they haven’t even wrestled yet and they’re already doing a stupid gimmick match. GEE I WONDER WHO’S BOOKING THE SHOW? Also announced is the Steiner Brothers & Missy Hyatt v. Arn Anderson, Barry Windham & Paul E. And that’s also in a cage because Dusty.

Johnny B. Badd v. Larry Santo

Yes, that Marc Mero kid has now been repackaged into Johnny B. Badd, a stupid Dusty gimmick that had surprising longevity. Badd beats on Santo with forearms and hits him with a high knee before finishing with the knockout punch at 1:14. Well this episode is definitely introducing some new characters. Afterwards, Johnny and Teddy Long have words for PN News and threaten to beat him up.

This week in 1991 commercials: Apparently they made a sequel to the Terminator movie from 1984? Was it like some direct to video thing, I wonder? Good luck with that.

The Diamond Studd v. Keith Hart

The Studd puts the boots to Keith and quickly finishes with the Diamond Death Drop at 1:05. I don’t know how they fucked up this guy but they sure did.

Black Blood v. John Peterson

Oh lord the parade of 1991 gimmicks continues here. Why would you stick Billy Jack Haynes under a hood instead of using whatever bit of star power he had left at this point? Black Blood drops a knee on Peterson and then tosses him over his shoulder from a powerbomb position, nearly throwing the guy out of the ring and dropping him on the top rope in the process in an incredibly botched spot that somehow still made it into TV. And since Peterson is somehow not dead from that, Blood goes up and finishes with a forearm shot at 1:45. This was TERRIBLE.

Meanwhile, the Desperados are in another western town, still looking for Stan Hansen. And Bart says DADGUM a lot. So Deadeye Dick learns to shoot and ends up in jail, and the other two stumble around and can’t get him out. And this took up FOUR MINUTES of TV time.

World Six-Man title: Tommy Rich, JYD & Ricky Morton v. The Freebirds & Badstreet

Morton is of course absent after joining the York Foundation, and Fantasia has now been rebranded as Badstreet due to legal threats from Disney. Also the Freebirds are the US tag team champions as their insane overpush continues. Rich cleans house by himself to start and then Dog hits everyone with headbutts, but Badstreet hits Dog with a knee from behind and DDTs him, and Garvin pins him at 1:30 to win the titles. Well that was an epic main event. I never did actually see how the Freebirds won the titles back in the day, so at least I can rest easy knowing that now.

Uh this was…quite the show. Maybe they’re gonna mention or feature Ric Flair sometime soon, but I’m not holding my breath.