The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 04.20.91

The SmarK Rant for WCW Worldwide – 04.20.91

Originally written 02.08.26

Taped from Montgomery, AL on 04.08.91

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Gordon Solie

Big Van Vader v. Snake Watson

This is still early Vader, with the full mask and elephant helmet. Vader clobbers Snake and beats him down before hitting a suplex and then a sunset flip for two. Vader with a corner splash and then he goes up and splats him with a forearm for the pin at 1:38.

SUPERBRAWL CONTROL CENTER! WITH GORDON SOLIE!

The Young Pistols face the Freebirds for the US tag titles! Ricky Morton faces Dan Spivey! Larry Z faces Big Josh! Plus newly announced this week, El Gigante against Sid in a stretcher match! The Steiners defend the tag team titles against Sting & Lex Luger! And next week Gordon promises the BIGGEST NEWS YET! Goddammit, I can’t wait that long, I need to know now! Does it involve the stunning debut of a character related to a TBS movie property? Or a boxer who’s really pretty?

Meanwhile, Sting can’t stand Ric Flair’s big nose, and he’s serious business in the ring.

Ric Flair v. Tim Parker

Rare TV squash for Flair with time running out on his WCW run. Flair beats on Parker with chops and tosses Parker to the floor and beats on him out there. Back in, Ric chokes him out on the ropes and takes him down with the knee crusher, and NOW WE GO TO SCHOOL with the figure-four at 2:10. Afterwards, Ric joins Tony at ringside (“Look at that blonde over there, she wants it bad, woo!”) and then goes on his usual rant while telling the fat boys at ringside to keep their mouths shut. Also people can holler for Sting all they want, but he’s still the World champion. Look, Sting & Luger v. the Steiners was a great match, but Superbrawl should have been Luger v. Koloff and Flair v. Sting if we’re being honest with each other.

El Gigante & Brian Pillman v. Jeff Stone & Mike Thor

Thor beats on Pillman in the corner but gets sent to the floor for an encouraging hug from his partner, Stone. And then Pillman dropkicks them both to break it up. Back in the ring, Pillman dropkicks them both again and beats on Stone with chops while he hides in the corner like a coward, which is funny because both jobbers are gigantic next to Pillman. It’s a nice touch. Pillman beats Thor down with chops and it’s over to Gigante, who puts Thor down with a big boot and clothesline. And then Pillman comes off his shoulders with a flying bodypress on Thor to finish at 2:38. Thor’s a good hand who made Gigante look not bad here. I liked the finish as well, and this was a quality squash.

Dustin Rhodes v. Greg Sawyer

Dustin hits him with slams and a dropkick while Alexandra York comes out to scout Dustin again. Please, as if Dustin Rhodes would ever stoop to being associated with her! Dustin with the armdrags and he controls with arm stuff on the mat. And the bulldog finishes at 2:44. This brings out Terrence Taylor for the sneak attack, but Dustin fights him off, so Mr. Hughes also attacks and Dustin fights them off by himself because daddy said so.

Meanwhile, let’s take yet another look at Nikita Koloff attacking Luger with the US title at WrestleWar, and then on World Championship Wrestling, Nikita calls out Luger again and they brawl in the crowd. Then the next week, they get into another brawl with geeks breaking it up again. Then they finally have a match in the Meadowlands, with Koloff hitting Luger with the chain to get an apparent pin, but the ref sees it and awards the match to Luger by DQ. So Koloff steals the belt and they brawl around ringside, but Luger gets the chain and wraps it around his arm God of War style to take out Koloff and the ref before reclaiming the belt. But then Koloff attacks him on the way back into the dressing room and they get into a wild pullapart brawl back there as well.

The Steiner Brothers v. Jim Corbett & Paul Lee

Paul Lee looks like he found Buddy Landel’s gear in the dumpster and decided to take his gimmick over. Scott tosses Corbett around and slams him into the turnbuckles before turning it into an Oklahoma Stampede, and it’s over to Lee. So Scott pounds on him as well, and Rick comes in with a helicopter slam. Scott with the tilt a whirl slam and they finish with the elevated bulldog at 2:25.

Meanwhile, back at the Meadowlands, Paul E. Dangerously interviews Lex Luger, and Lex is so mad you’d think his t-shirt was too tight!

The Freebirds v. Lynn Fields & Randy Tatum

Well I guess this is what passes for our main event this week. Hayes demands the taller jobber come in first, and then he slugs him down and puts the boots to him. Garvin with the DDT to finish at 0:58. That’s the best kind of Freebird match, under a minute long.

Next week: One Man Gang! Ron Simmons! And we take a look at the situation with Tatsumi Fujinami!